Yusluv13:
Calm down sir, you can't win this battle without applying wisdom. You indeed did the right thing. If you want good for this girl and good future.
Pls go and meet her beg her to be a good mother to her and preach for her. Appraise her for all the good thing she has been doing to the girl and how God will even reward her abundantly for that. Let your words encouraged, motivate and lift positive spirit in her...

Excel70:

Too much for being the head of the home. I think there is no gain for a man in marriage correct me if i am wrong

TonyeBarcanista:

How did you conclude that the wife ks wicked? Let us watch what we say towards people's spouses.

I am very sure that the wife acted the way did because of the discomfort she feels with a second "woman" enjoying the attention and niceties of her husband.

Honestly, I can NEVER fault her! I have seen first hand where lovely and nice househelp got pregnant for oga and he was asked to marry her as second wife - which he did!

TonyeBarcanista:

Bros, honestly, you are crying over nothing.

Your wife is a woman and you should understand her own position. She doesn't want her relative help to enjoy same privilege as her and her children before things get out of hand. Also, she isn't comfortable with the affection you are showing the girl. You were even wrong to quarrel her and say nasty things to her. Your good intention was spoilt by your action.

Guy, na you find trouble! Even me sef de suspect say your eye de chook for the babe as you don de reason her as second mother.

BTW we have seen relative househelp "chanced" madam in their homes or get pregnant for the oga for house.

Guy, apologise to your wife, and ask her to send the girl to her people.

Graxie:
Why are you engaging a minor as househelp? Why. Both you and your wife, you are horrible.

Unique357:
In brief, I am a male married with 2 children, my daughter is 8 and son is 5. I also have my niece 11 and a house help 15 staying with us.

On Monday I gave my wife Christmas shopping money to get foodstuffs, hers and children clothing including our house help.

Yesterday my wife went shopping, she bought clothes for herself, our children and nothing for the house help. She claimed that the girl doesn’t need any clothes for Christmas as long we feed and send her to school, the rest is her parents' duties. The girl in question is my wife's relative from the same village. This girl is so nice to our children, she is like a second mother to them despite her being just 15, I have never had any problem with her.

I was mad at her that I told her, if she cannot treat another woman's child well then she doesn’t deserve to be a mother, yes I did said some harsh words to her because of anger. She accused me of sleeping with the little girl which I told her she is mad and she couldn’t stop crying the whole night. This morning she didn’t make my breakfast and refused greeting me back.

Please house let me know if I overreacted

fabienjoe:


That's rather harsh. In civilized nations, being an au pair is seen as employment and should only be for adults. But you must understand our peculiarities. Many poor people give birth to children they can't cater for. Going to work as house helps could be the only chance these children may have for education and focused life. Government as we know cares for no child here. The family may have meant well in bringing the child to stay with them.

Yusluv13:
Calm down sir, you can't win this battle without applying wisdom. You indeed did the right thing. If you want good for this girl and good future.
Pls go and meet her beg her to be a good mother to her and preach for her. Appraise her for all the good thing she has been doing to the girl and how God will even reward her abundantly for that. Let your words encouraged, motivate and lift positive spirit in her...

THMT:


You deserve a medal of honor. I need people like you as friend's in my life.
Am sure most people giving advices that contradicts yours àre either single or in a toxic lonely marriage.

Blindersoff:


The gains for the man in the home (head of the home) are

1) Growth emotionally and as a family unit

2) Success as a joint effort

3) Deep understanding and maturity

4) Freedom in Peace

You see you need to understand that the man has a lot of emotional, spiritual and social work to do in the home. He is the head and thus the leader. No leader is a good leader only when he enforces. A good leader should know when to lead by example. Do as i do and not do as i say.

Remember that the woman is his 2nd in command and should be able to fill in for him in the home whenever he is not around so he has to be patient and dedicated enough to deposit a lot of who he is into his bride. This way he can be assured that she would act like him, defend like him even when he is not there and can beat his chest knowing what she is capable of even when he did not witness it. The man is not getting married so he can rest. He is getting married so he can work out a new and better generation than his own. So it is all about ensuring he deposits huge nuggets of POSITIVE VALUES into everyone but largely into his wife because the Children would observe both of them and look up to them for guidance mostly in deed and not so much in words.

The satisfaction that comes from being fulfilled in what i listed above is more than having millions in the bank. That is the mark of a real man

Unique357:
In brief, I am a male married with 2 children, my daughter is 8 and son is 5. I also have my niece 11 and a house help 15 staying with us.

On Monday I gave my wife Christmas shopping money to get foodstuffs, hers and children clothing including our house help.

Yesterday my wife went shopping, she bought clothes for herself, our children and nothing for the house help. She claimed that the girl doesn’t need any clothes for Christmas as long we feed and send her to school, the rest is her parents' duties. The girl in question is my wife's relative from the same village. This girl is so nice to our children, she is like a second mother to them despite her being just 15, I have never had any problem with her.

I was mad at her that I told her, if she cannot treat another woman's child well then she doesn’t deserve to be a mother, yes I did said some harsh words to her because of anger. She accused me of sleeping with the little girl which I told her she is mad and she couldn’t stop crying the whole night. This morning she didn’t make my breakfast and refused greeting me back.

Please house let me know if I overreacted

daviddelly:
I was once a house boy I knew how painful it is to be left out doing Xmas shopping, I vowed never to allow anybody staying withe to undergo the same punishment. if my wife there that shit our marriage is over,when a boy/girl start staying with you ,you automatically be comes his father and mother. don't treat a kid differently because he is not your child simple.

franchasng:
Black women, especially Nigerian women will never listen to what you are saying, they are naturally wicked to house helps and anybody that is not their blood relative staying with them or working under them, sadly

TonyeBarcanista:

The post is stupid because I kicked against labelling people's spouses with inappropriate names? God! What a country

Teespice:


onye nkem. Same to you hun .

How far your box? I wasn't joking.

ogawisdom:


U have put this poor girl in a massive trouble

Ur wife will maltreat her badly now

She may not even eat again why u are fighting for cloth for her

Send the poor girl home as soon as possible

Excel70:

Ok despite all the patience and tolerance from the man the children will grow up to appreciat e the mother more

TonyeBarcanista:

Bros, honestly, you are crying over nothing.

Your wife is a woman and you should understand her own position. She doesn't want her relative help to enjoy same privilege as her and her children before things get out of hand. Also, she isn't comfortable with the affection you are showing the girl. You were even wrong to quarrel her and say nasty things to her. Your good intention was spoilt by your action.

Guy, na you find trouble! Even me sef de suspect say your eye de chook for the babe as you don de reason her as second mother.

BTW we have seen relative househelp "chanced" madam in their homes or get pregnant for the oga for house.

Guy, apologise to your wife, and ask her to send the girl to her people.

Ewedegubbler:
The black woman is the worst creature on this planet.. timid, evil, malicious and stupidly jealous..


TUFIAKWA

TonyeBarcanista:

Bros, honestly, you are crying over nothing.

Your wife is a woman and you should understand her own position. She doesn't want her relative help to enjoy same privilege as her and her children before things get out of hand. Also, she isn't comfortable with the affection you are showing the girl. You were even wrong to quarrel her and say nasty things to her. Your good intention was spoilt by your action.

Guy, na you find trouble! Even me sef de suspect say your eye de chook for the babe as you don de reason her as second mother.

BTW we have seen relative househelp "chanced" madam in their homes or get pregnant for the oga for house.

Guy, apologise to your wife, and ask her to send the girl to her people.

daviddelly:
that Man's wife is a devil simple

franchasng:
Wait until you get married sir. I repeat, majority of black ladies are wicked to others, especially to their domestic staffs and those working under them. It is their nature, only very few ladies are different and those ones may have grew among guys and learned how to treat everybody around them with respect and dignity.

Unique357:

She accused me of sleeping with the little girl