Taywon:
Am sure your wife is igbo
They sabi maltreat other people children

bigot!

STENON:
The heart of human is purely more wicked than the devil ...

You can purchase xmas clothes for the girl as xmas gift. Just be monitoring her keenly as your madam is likely to frustrate your househelp.

Na wa. Oo

Proverty is a bastard

Bro, this your yarn get comma. E no pure at all. That man wife na wicked woman.

TonyeBarcanista:

Bros, honestly, you are crying over nothing.

Your wife is a woman and you should understand her own position. She doesn't want her relative help to enjoy same privilege as her and her children before things get out of hand. Also, she isn't comfortable with the affection you are showing the girl. You were even wrong to quarrel her and say nasty things to her. Your good intention was spoilt by your action.

Guy, na you find trouble! Even me sef de suspect say your eye de chook for the babe as you don de reason her as second mother.

BTW we have seen relative househelp "chanced" madam in their homes or get pregnant for the oga for house.

Guy, apologise to your wife, and ask her to send the girl to her people.

Tell your wife that she is creating envy and enemity between the house help and your children.

As a second mother, your children are at the mercy of your house help. Treat the house help well for the sake of your children

She's your wife, am sure she's seen her error. Her anger is not justified, but you as the husband need to give her a way out.
Apologize to her and in the doing re-enforce the reason why she needs to show compassion towards the maid, no need to have a win-loose situation, bring your wife close and in the act strengthen your marriage.

Peace!

IAmStrange:
When it gets to this stage where wife starts accusing you of sleeping with the girl, so as to avoid getting into messy situations, its best for you to take the girl back to her parents.

Best advise...

Once women start getting jealous or suspicious of their househelps for no reason, I guess it's time to end it to restore sanity into the house. Don't be surprised if it was probably the woman who insisted on getting a maid... Inside life sha...

midnighter:


I never thought I would say this but The thing is that Tonyebarcanista does have A POINT, though he didn't phrase it too correctly.

It's true that the woman felt threatened by the girl and it's true that ONE WAY the man could get through to her is by apologizing for not seeing it from her perspective.

The reason he is treating it as a political analysis is because it is somehow political, actually.

The problem is that he didn't see the leadership aspect of it but rather took it from a vulgar angle which is what made everybody vex for him.

People are getting angry that he accused OP of having feelings for the househelp and not of misunderstanding his wife which is a reflection of their own vanity and not that he is totally wrong.

There's no point, the woman is annoyingly insecure and she should deal with that problem, its solely hers.
Tonye inferring that the man is having a relationship with the little girl is disgusting albeit sick.

My wife brought her Xmas. Budget thus,
Child one male 15k 3yrs
Child two female 17k 3yrs
(Both child 1&2 are Twin boy and girl)
Child three less down 4months 8k
My wife female relative (house help) 17yrs 12k
After careful observation,i increased her sister's own to 20k and reduced my children's own by 1k each because to me,how could little children clothes be more expensive than a matured girl.
I had to let my wife know that I don't support treating my children more important than others living with me.
All women have this traits in them.
However,in my own case,there was no chaos.

TonyeBarcanista:

Bros, honestly, you are crying over nothing.

Your wife is a woman and you should understand her own position. She doesn't want her relative help to enjoy same privilege as her and her children before things get out of hand. Also, she isn't comfortable with the affection you are showing the girl. You were even wrong to quarrel her and say nasty things to her. Your good intention was spoilt by your action.

Guy, na you find trouble! Even me sef de suspect say your eye de chook for the babe as you don de reason her as second mother.

BTW we have seen relative househelp "chanced" madam in their homes or get pregnant for the oga for house.

Guy, apologise to your wife, and ask her to send the girl to her people.

guy what you are saying is wrong . What is wrong with being decent? what wrong with doing the right thing ?Os the house help not a human being ? Is buying Christmas cloths for her a sin? Why must we condole wickedness. I have noticed most women act the same way always wicked to children that is not thier.

VirginSearcher:
OP! Please take the house help shopping yourself.. your wife is not only wicked but mad

wrong move

ikaboy:



Seems you are better off in political section

hahahaha abi?

highcurrent:
THE FEAR OF SOME WOMEN IS THE BEGINNING OF WISDOM

OP, you did the right thing by giving her money to shop for everybody at home, including the house help.

as it goes DO UNTO OTHERS WHAT YOU WANT TO BE DONE TO YOU.

OP don't even beg her, na small pikin dey worry am.

no be small pikin dey worry am, Na wickedness

Thank you for the insult , God knows my heart that I Have never been wicked to the child neither do I treat her any different from my children. She and my niece are both in the same private schools, same class and I am paying the same school fees , how am I wicked ? We have a family friends who sells OK Uk first grade clothes at affordable prices to us, I knew with that 2k my wife would have get a nice jeans and shirt/ dress for her . Please next time ask before you judge.

GrabHisBalls:
The thing is, both you and your wife are very wicked people. The difference is, you still have a conscious. You gave your wife 2K to buy an Xmas clothe for your house help, one you claimed has been very good to your children. What will 2k buy in today's Nigeria? Even Okrika clothes are expensive. Why is it so hard to threat others kids the same way you threat yours?

I once saw a lady going to church with her help and a kid. The help wore a brand new bathroom slippers while the woman and her kid were expensively dressed. Looking at them you'll know the lady is very rich but can't affrod decent clothes and a pair of shoe for the help that practically takes care of her child and house. What's now the difference between you, your wife and this woman?

mangojuice:
Counsel her and if no change divorce her immediately coz She is not a good wife. My humble opinion sir.

haba! you don overshoot the goal post na.

I would say she is more mentally unbalanced. She needs help.

U don't have a wife, it depicts only one thing right now, when u go broke, she will leave u. Leave her now before its too late, that is not a wife.

Unique357:
In brief, I am a male married with 2 children, my daughter is 8 and son is 5. I also have my niece 11 and a house help 15 staying with us.

On Monday I gave my wife Christmas shopping money to get foodstuffs, hers and children clothing including our house help.

Yesterday my wife went shopping, she bought clothes for herself, our children and nothing for the house help. She claimed that the girl doesn’t need any clothes for Christmas as long we feed and send her to school, the rest is her parents' duties. The girl in question is my wife's relative from the same village. This girl is so nice to our children, she is like a second mother to them despite her being just 15, I have never had any problem with her.

I was mad at her that I told her, if she cannot treat another woman's child well then she doesn’t deserve to be a mother, yes I did said some harsh words to her because of anger. She accused me of sleeping with the little girl which I told her she is mad and she couldn’t stop crying the whole night. This morning she didn’t make my breakfast and refused greeting me back.

Please house let me know if I overreacted

This girl is so nice to our children, she is like a second mother to them despite her being just 15, I have never had any problem with her. Second mother hmmmmm.






My wife also did same sometimes ago, I sent the girl away, I barned her from taking another house help till date.

Unique357:
In brief, I am a male married with 2 children, my daughter is 8 and son is 5. I also have my niece 11 and a house help 15 staying with us.

On Monday I gave my wife Christmas shopping money to get foodstuffs, hers and children clothing including our house help.

Yesterday my wife went shopping, she bought clothes for herself, our children and nothing for the house help. She claimed that the girl doesn’t need any clothes for Christmas as long we feed and send her to school, the rest is her parents' duties. The girl in question is my wife's relative from the same village. This girl is so nice to our children, she is like a second mother to them despite her being just 15, I have never had any problem with her.

I was mad at her that I told her, if she cannot treat another woman's child well then she doesn’t deserve to be a mother, yes I did said some harsh words to her because of anger. She accused me of sleeping with the little girl which I told her she is mad and she couldn’t stop crying the whole night. This morning she didn’t make my breakfast and refused greeting me back.

Please house let me know if I overreacted

How do you people marry such women with the heart of lucifer I really wonder how men fall for this, any woman not as free hearted and good as I am, we can't even pass the same road, talkless marry!!! Brothers u guys are really trying very much!!!
Your reaction was very mild oh, it wasn't harsh at all...

Please of ahead cannot take good girl of a help she brought from the village, please tell her to take her back to her parents and desist from bringing anyones child into your house.
Wicked woman!!! If say na me eh!!! We for done begin review our marriage by now. Nonsense!! Wickedness

TonyeBarcanista:

Bros, honestly, you are crying over nothing.

Your wife is a woman and you should understand her own position. She doesn't want her relative help to enjoy same privilege as her and her children before things get out of hand. Also, she isn't comfortable with the affection you are showing the girl. You were even wrong to quarrel her and say nasty things to her. Your good intention was spoilt by your action.

Guy, na you find trouble! Even me sef de suspect say your eye de chook for the babe as you don de reason her as second mother.

BTW we have seen relative househelp "chanced" madam in their homes or get pregnant for the oga for house.

Guy, apologise to your wife, and ask her to send the girl to her people.

I never knew you are this wicked. No surprise, politicians are naturally wicked and demonic.

Unique357:
Thank you for the insult , God knows my heart that I Have never been wicked to the child neither do I treat her any different from my children. She and my niece are both in the same private schools, same class and I am paying the same school fees , how am I wicked ? We have a family friends who sells OK Uk first grade clothes at affordable prices to us, I knew with that 2k my wife would have get a nice jeans and shirt/ dress for her . Please next time ask before you judge.

My brother, you did the right thing and you represent the good in humanity. If your wife could cry and accused you just because of 2k, I wonder what should would have said of your budget 5k for the house help.

The way out is to talk sense into her. I am sure she is very religious, talk to her pastor to talk to her to explain to her the real meaning of christ and Christmas. Maybe, she is like that because of her upbringing. She might have come from a family that discriminated a lot based on wealth.

It will not be wise to have marital issues with your wife because of another person (her relation for that matter). if you can't resolve the issue, you will have to send the girl away.

Unique357:
In brief, I am a male married with 2 children, my daughter is 8 and son is 5. I also have my niece 11 and a house help 15 staying with us.

On Monday I gave my wife Christmas shopping money to get foodstuffs, hers and children clothing including our house help.

Yesterday my wife went shopping, she bought clothes for herself, our children and nothing for the house help. She claimed that the girl doesn’t need any clothes for Christmas as long we feed and send her to school, the rest is her parents' duties. The girl in question is my wife's relative from the same village. This girl is so nice to our children, she is like a second mother to them despite her being just 15, I have never had any problem with her.

I was mad at her that I told her, if she cannot treat another woman's child well then she doesn’t deserve to be a mother, yes I did said some harsh words to her because of anger. She accused me of sleeping with the little girl which I told her she is mad and she couldn’t stop crying the whole night. This morning she didn’t make my breakfast and refused greeting me back.

Please house let me know if I overreacted

sir... your wife is wicked, sorry to say buh it's the truth.

TonyeBarcanista:

Bros, honestly, you are crying over nothing.

Your wife is a woman and you should understand her own position. She doesn't want her relative help to enjoy same privilege as her and her children before things get out of hand. Also, she isn't comfortable with the affection you are showing the girl. You were even wrong to quarrel her and say nasty things to her. Your good intention was spoilt by your action.

Guy, na you find trouble! Even me sef de suspect say your eye de chook for the babe as you don de reason her as second mother.

BTW we have seen relative househelp "chanced" madam in their homes or get pregnant for the oga for house.

Guy, apologise to your wife, and ask her to send the girl to her people.

Common sense is not common with you

TonyeBarcanista:

No wonder they say most Nigerians doesn't have good cognitive reasoning

Guy, just keep shut there! I don't think I have ever mentioned you on this forum but I had to do that this time around. You no try at all with that trash you posted up there. If you don't know how to give advice in a reasonable and logical way, then don't say nothing!

Unique357:
Thank you for the insult , God knows my heart that I Have never been wicked to the child neither do I treat her any different from my children. She and my niece are both in the same private schools, same class and I am paying the same school fees , how am I wicked ? We have a family friends who sells OK Uk first grade clothes at affordable prices to us, I knew with that 2k my wife would have get a nice jeans and shirt/ dress for her . Please next time ask before you judge.

Is it not what you project that you'll be judged on? I was OK with just reading comments 'till I saw what you wrote. It's a good thing you sent her to the same private school as your niece but I'm sure it's one your kids would never attend. Some Government owned schools are even better than the private school you sent her. I don't need to know more to know that if 2k is what you had to give for Xmas clothes to a child you claimed is good, then you withhold a lot towards her. When taking your guys out to drink, how much do you spend? Y'all are wicked, but don't know.

Your wife would've ended up getting and OK Jean and top for 1K each. Clothes you guys are buying once in a year and for the rest of the months she'd have to serve your family wearing things passed on to her by your wife so that everyone could easily tell she's a house help. I blame those broke parents that can't drink garri with their kids than giving them to your likes in the name of house help.

Ishilove:

You seem like the typical egoistic and bossy husbands women complain about all the time.

I unfailingly give my wife all her rights and keep strictly to the stipulations of our marriage contract. So I rigidly expect her to give me all my rights and keep to her side of the contract, otherwise we don't have a contract. What is unjust in that? I can understand though, how women who have been taught to ride their men would consider that bossy. Feminists always seek to regulate men's behaviour while applauding any dominant position that women take; no matter how vile. Not in my home.

TonyeBarcanista:

Bros, honestly, you are crying over nothing.

Your wife is a woman and you should understand her own position. She doesn't want her relative help to enjoy same privilege as her and her children before things get out of hand. Also, she isn't comfortable with the affection you are showing the girl. You were even wrong to quarrel her and say nasty things to her. Your good intention was spoilt by your action.

Guy, na you find trouble! Even me sef de suspect say your eye de chook for the babe as you don de reason her as second mother.

BTW we have seen relative househelp "chanced" madam in their homes or get pregnant for the oga for house.

Guy, apologise to your wife, and ask her to send the girl to her people.

You are a mad toad.

A lifeless rat is by far better than you.

How could you be so stuupid in your daft reasoning?

TonyeBarcanista:

Bros, honestly, you are crying over nothing.

Your wife is a woman and you should understand her own position. She doesn't want her relative help to enjoy same privilege as her and her children before things get out of hand. Also, she isn't comfortable with the affection you are showing the girl. You were even wrong to quarrel her and say nasty things to her. Your good intention was spoilt by your action.

Guy, na you find trouble! Even me sef de suspect say your eye de chook for the babe as you don de reason her as second mother.

BTW we have seen relative househelp "chanced" madam in their homes or get pregnant for the oga for house.

Guy, apologise to your wife, and ask her to send the girl to her people.

You dey always dey talk off point I no just know why?

Send her back home if u don’t like war .but don’t stop paying for sch fees

STENON:
The heart of human is purely more wicked than the devil ...

You can purchase xmas clothes for the girl as xmas gift. Just be monitoring her keenly as your madam is likely to frustrate your househelp.

Frustrate ke? She will seriously injure and maybe kill that poor girl. Best to send the girl home and send money for her mother to take care of her.

How will he monitor the girl keenly? Most times he is at work

Stop using children as maids.
Secondly, remember to collect the 2K back from your wife

Na wah o...
Association of Nairaland advisers on marital and relationship
Affairs...
Op, u no get close friends or relatives to ask?
Odiegwu!

Send the girl back to her parents and if you can, help them to put her through school.

She's no longer safe in your house... after this.

I can't figure out how difficult it can be to just treat people well.
How hard can it be to just be good?