It is time to dust your war room ( prayer room) and start pray often. May God save your marriage in Jesus name.

crackhaus:
1. I asked him politely to go and change, he got angry at me and told me to keep quiet and he went inside.

2. I asked him if we could take a family picture, he just snapped and slapped me and started beating me up so badly.

After giving you the benefit of a doubt and assuming this is exactly how it happened - then your husband has definitely gone mad to react to absolutely nothing.
Please politely ask him if there is madness running in his family, make sure you ask him from a safe distance because he will surely use the nearest furniture to kill you.

Madness does not have a cure, but it can be managed.
Arrange to have him put in chains and get him on medications till everything returns to normal.

you be real crack head.... Imagine me burst into laughter at 2am for morning

Mrsprissy:
Thank you so much everyone for your advice . Like I said earlier nothing actually happened between us before Christmas , everything was okey , on Monday December 23rd we went out shopping for Christmas after we took the kids out to the playgrounds and we ended the day with a nice dinner at the restaurant. On Christmas morning we woke up fine no arguments, he left the house and went to get his hair cut, I picked up his clothes and left it on the bed by the time he get back so he can wear them, he came back very normal on a good mood , the only time he got angry was when I asked him to go and change , I didn’t raise my voice , I only told him the clothes doesn’t look nice for the special occasion that was when he told me to keep quiet and I did. He took 1 hour just to change the T-shirt to a shirt and I wasn’t not happy but I didn’t say anything because he wasn’t in the right mood. Yes He beat me just because I have asked him to take a family picture , I swear to God I’m telling the truth and if I’m not lying because it won’t put any money to my bank account. This is the 2nd beating after 6 years of marriage , but this is one was worse than the first one. Something did happened back in October ( his fault) but we have already settle everything and went back to normal. I know it doesn’t make sense to some of you , even myself I just don’t understand why did he beat me with so much hatred when I did nothing wrong

When I read the first original post by you, I had a mild conclusion in my mind of "Your" kind of character and then reading the second post I made a conclusion which you can call an opinion tho.

I think you are BOSSY for a wife. Possibly you make more money than your husband (you don't have to answer to this, just check yourself and see if I am right or not).

Your husband spending an extra 1hr in the wardrobe, is unusual of any man who has little or excess of clothes to choose from, that 1hr delay is a time of shame, embarrassment or belittling for him (esp because it happened in front of your kids and possibly you have a grown up kid who is mature enough to make her own reasoning of situations) or he spotted a neighbor or someone who saw the whole "go change your shirt thing", he felt embarrassed and controlled by you again, hence the anger when you bossed him again to take a photo (of which we do not know the tone in which that command went). Do remember that some pidgin English are aggressive compared to good English.

take us a photo is different from 'abeg take us picture jor.


Well just me and my psychology classes reasoning here.

Shalom.

Angrymode:


U said it like it is. Women these days don't know d meaning of respect. I don't blame them because men these days don't demand respect.

I think men are culpable in ds matter.

In d process of wooing ladies most men 'devalue' themselves. They stoop so low in d process of making d woman accept them. They lay a false foundation of equality/liberality/submission right from d word 'go', thereby feeding d lady's subconscious with (false) perception of reality: actions they'll discard no sooner they succeed in putting d ring in her finger - thereby leaving the woman confused with d notion that his man has changed from what he was/he used to do prior their wedding.

To d men:
** if u know u won't be holding her bags in public/opening the car door for her etc after d wedding so that ppl won't say u are a weakling, then don't fool her with such while courting.

**If You know dt kneeling before/to ur wife is unmanly/unafrican then don't indulge her with such dumb acts before d wedding in any guise, be it proposal or worreva!

**If u know u are d type who desires respect (every sane man should), don't let ur gf talk to u "anyhow" before she bcoms ur wife. Unfortunately, most he-diots with '3rd legs' will fuulishly condone disrespect from their gf when courting, then frown at same acts when d same lady bcoms their wife.

walahi, we men sef no dey try at all!

tonididdy:


When I read the first original post by you, I had a mild conclusion in my mind of "Your" kind of character and then reading the second post I made a conclusion which you can call an opinion tho.

I think you are BOSSY for a wife. Possibly you make more money than your husband (you don't have to answer to this, just check yourself and see if I am right or not).

Your husband spending an extra 1hr in the wardrobe, is unusual of any man who has little or excess of clothes to choose from, that 1hr delay is a time of shame, embarrassment or belittling for him (esp because it happened in front of your kids and possibly you have a grown up kid who is mature enough to make her own reasoning of situations) or he spotted a neighbor or someone who saw the whole "go change your shirt thing", he felt embarrassed and controlled by you again, hence the anger when you bossed him again to take a photo (of which we do not know the tone in which that command went). Do remember that some pidgin English are aggressive compared to good English.

take us a photo is different from 'abeg take us picture jor.

Well just me and my psychology classes reasoning here.

Shalom.

This is a good contribution.

SmellingAnus:
hahaha better date with you?

I hope you wont crack on me when I tell you to go and remove your ripped jeans and faded T-shirt Na important courtship question oo

In my experince women and the truth do not go hand in hand.women are very misleading and if you follow there mouth you go kill person.so until i hear your husbands account of events before i can comment.

Mrsprissy:
Good evening my brothers and sisters in the house. First , I am not a troll . I've been a member on NL since 2008 and am very active, but I prefer using a new account for my story to seek advice and also learn from other experienced people in this great group.

On christmas day hubby and I were invited to attend a special dinner at his friend's house and I picked a nice outfit for him to wear on the day, he wore another outfit, a t shirt and jeans his every day clothes so I asked him politely to go and change, he got angry at me and told me to keep quiet and he went inside.

He was in our room for an hour while the kids and I were still waiting for him, I even sent the kids in their room to play, he later came out he only changed his top but didn't changed the trousers and trainers. I had decided not to say anything for peace to reign, so as we were leaving, I asked him if we could take a family picture, he just snapped and slapped me and started beating me up so badly, he only stopped because my children were screaming and crying for him to stop.

I am so pained because before the incident happened, we were fine, no quarrel at all, I just don't understand his reasons for beating me like this and I swear to God, I didn't say something to make him this angry, he left me there and went out, his friend later called to know if we were still coming because he couldn't reach hubby on the phone, I told him we are coming.

I cleaned myself, changed my clothes and I left with the kids to his friend's house, to my surprise he was already there, we acted like everything was normal and I tried hard to stop tears coming because I was in pained.

For the past 3 days he has been acting as if I did wronged him, he doesn't talk to me, he doesn't eat my foods and he left the room and he is now sleeping in our son's room. I just don't know what to do again

:

midnighter:


I hope you wont crack on me

Hantie, pls don't corrupt me biko, I'm still 'yung' o

when I tell you to go and remove your ripped jeans and faded T-shirt Na important courtship question oo

Lolz, u may never get a honest answer if a gye digs u. No be (we) men? He wee pretend like he doesn't mind ur bs.
Even insult im mama join, na so e go dey smile like imbe.cile.

But let im hand touch d tn way e dey find, na dt tyme tory go change. No be man?
Abeg, tah!

to women:
** pls, do not be carried away by a man's 'sweetness'/liberality/submissiveness when dating o, its all a game to win ur affection. He may tolerate ur excesses and allow u step on his ego while in courtship, but that is where it ends. Know for a fact dt d average man (esp African man) doesn't joke with his ego.

Always have D's at d back of ur minds, such DT when he 'changes' after ur wedding to his true 'manly' self, u don't feel something is wrong somewhere. That's his true adamic nature, its civilization that has wrecked (and still wrecking havoc) in relationships.

If most ladies realise ds, dr would be less friction in marriages.

midnighter:


I hope you wont crack on me when I tell you to go and remove your ripped jeans and faded T-shirt Na important courtship question oo

hahahahahha God forbid bad thing I hit any woman in my life... I don't even imagine it...

Christmas to remember then...

crackhaus:
1. I asked him politely to go and change, he got angry at me and told me to keep quiet and he went inside.

2. I asked him if we could take a family picture, he just snapped and slapped me and started beating me up so badly.

After giving you the benefit of a doubt and assuming this is exactly how it happened - then your husband has definitely gone mad to react to absolutely nothing.
Please politely ask him if there is madness running in his family, make sure you ask him from a safe distance because he will surely use the nearest furniture to kill you.

Madness does not have a cure, but it can be managed.
Arrange to have him put in chains and get him on medications till everything returns to normal.

You really beat me to it... More power to you

Mrsprissy:
Good evening my brothers and sisters in the house. First , I am not a troll . I've been a member on NL since 2008 and am very active, but I prefer using a new account for my story to seek advice and also learn from other experienced people in this great group.

On christmas day hubby and I were invited to attend a special dinner at his friend's house and I picked a nice outfit for him to wear on the day, he wore another outfit, a t shirt and jeans his every day clothes so I asked him politely to go and change, he got angry at me and told me to keep quiet and he went inside.

He was in our room for an hour while the kids and I were still waiting for him, I even sent the kids in their room to play, he later came out he only changed his top but didn't changed the trousers and trainers. I had decided not to say anything for peace to reign, so as we were leaving, I asked him if we could take a family picture, he just snapped and slapped me and started beating me up so badly, he only stopped because my children were screaming and crying for him to stop.

I am so pained because before the incident happened, we were fine, no quarrel at all, I just don't understand his reasons for beating me like this and I swear to God, I didn't say something to make him this angry, he left me there and went out, his friend later called to know if we were still coming because he couldn't reach hubby on the phone, I told him we are coming.

I cleaned myself, changed my clothes and I left with the kids to his friend's house, to my surprise he was already there, we acted like everything was normal and I tried hard to stop tears coming because I was in pained.

For the past 3 days he has been acting as if I did wronged him, he doesn't talk to me, he doesn't eat my foods and he left the room and he is now sleeping in our son's room. I just don't know what to do again

Did you over bill him for Christmas?

Some people are suffering ooooo....
The only morning quarell i have in my house daily is about choice of cloth,is now like a game,i choose, he wears what i hate(no fashion sense at all) we quarell he wears the one i choose compliment me for the styling and go away.pls marry a sane man.

Even when you tried to take away lots of details in typical lady storytelling fashion, it's easy to see you like telling your husband what to do. It irritates him.

It's been pent-up, and finally exploded that day. It's a terrible thing that he'd lash out at you that way, turning violent, instead of talking things out. Simply inexcusable.

I'm sure you'd sort things out. When you do, make deliberate efforts to tone down on the control. We know you have opinions, but you can express them without coming across like a queen giving commands.

Bahddo:
Even when you tried to take away lots of details in typical lady storytelling fashion, it's easy to see you like telling your husband what to do. It irritates him.

It's been pent-up, and finally exploded that day. It's a terrible thing that he'd lash out at you that way, turning violent, instead of talking things out. Simply inexcusable.

I'm sure you'd sort things out. When you do, make deliberate efforts to tone down on the control. We know you have opinions, bit you can express them without coming across like a queen giving commands.

Please and next thing is to give a wife Christmas beating for irritating his sense of masculinity. Don't make me laff abeg.

healthserve:




Please and next thing is to give a wife Christmas beating for irritating his sense of masculinity. Don't make me laff abeg.

people beat others up for worse reasons, and Christmas is no different from any other day - it's 24hrs long and people still have emotions on that day.

There may be right and wrong according to whatever standard, but it hasn't stopped people from committing crime. Your thinking that it's not right wouldn't stop people from doing it.

My post is not meant to establish the immorality of the action but to help figure out the reason (since the wife claims not to understand why).

It's basic human psychology. There are things that when done repeatedly to you, would make you snap and have your 5 mins of madness. That's his own trigger, we all have ours.

Bahddo:
people beat others up for worse reasons, and Christmas is no different from any other day - it's 24hrs long and people still have emotions on that day.

There may be right and wrong according to whatever standard, but it hasn't stopped people from committing crime. Your thinking that it's not right wouldn't stop people from doing it.

My post is not meant to establish the immorality of the action but to help figure out the reason (since the wife claims not to understand why).

It's basic human psychology. There are things that when done repeatedly to you, would make you snap and have your 5 mins of madness. That's his own trigger, we all have ours.

My dear you don't have substantive proof it went out as your imagination is painting an assumed portrait of what happened. Even if so, a man shouldn't beat his wife for such a lousy reason abeg

richie240:

All dt na story biko. U never jam woman who will lock d door, throw the key out of d window and lock ur shirt, shouting ''u will kee me today". When u jam Jezebel's great granddaughter, u will regret coming across 'woman' in ur life!

Just pray God gives u ur own missing bone. Nowadays, wife (and by extension - husband) materials are extremely scarce.

that's True Bro, well Said.

MariaAngeles:

What!?

I ma ihe I ga emerem ebe ahu I no ugbu a ? Sekpuru ala, kele Chineke no n'eligwe that I'm not the mood, if not ehn...
Laa n'udo!

u can't do anything OK..hapu iye enako

healthserve:




My dear you don't have substantive proof it went out as your imagination is painting an assumed portrait of what happened. Even if so, a man shouldn't beat his wife for such a lousy reason abeg

dude, I'm not your dear. That said, let me repeat this tiny detail that flew over heads despite being stated in the post you quoted - I AM NOT HERE TO ARGUE THE MORALITY OF THE ACTION. That is useless small talk that does nothing to enlighten anyone. I'd leave that "It is wrong" mantra for you to chant.

We know it isn't right (a man shouldn't beat his wife over something seemingly flimsy), what next? How does that help the op who claims she has no idea why her husband flipped? How does that help the world that is crime infested despite having laws and people eager to define what is reason enough to do stuff?

Knowledge is power. If you can figure out why something happens, you have an advantage in your attempt to change it or avoid it. Stop clinging to shallow small talk just because you cannot understand depth.

As for having substantive proof, take the matter to a professional psychologist and see if you'd get a totally different diagnosis. You underestimate people and ideas just because you post on the same forum.

Bahddo:
dude, I'm not your dear. That said, let me repeat this tiny detail that flew over heads despite being stated in the post you quoted - I AM NOT HERE TO ARGUE THE MORALITY OF THE ACTION. That is useless small talk that does nothing to enlighten anyone. I'd leave that "It is wrong" mantra for you to chant.

We know it isn't right (a man shouldn't beat his wife over something seemingly flimsy), what next? How does that help the op who claims she has no idea why her husband flipped? How does that help the world that is crime infested despite having laws and people eager to define what is reason enough to do stuff?

Knowledge is power. If you can figure out why something happens, you have an advantage in your attempt to change it or avoid it. Stop clinging to shallow small talk just because you cannot understand depth.

As for having substantive proof, take the matter to a professional psychologist and see if you'd get a totally different diagnosis. You underestimate people and ideas just because you post on the same forum.

Lol emotions. No psychologists make judgements without getting all the facts. Learn to always ask for full information on events before judging.

healthserve:




Lol emotions. No psychologists make judgements without getting all the facts. Learn to always ask for full information on events before judging.

Okay. Anything else you'd like to add?

This is a tough situation because you have kids. It is just not acceptable for a husband to hit a wife like that. I hope you can find a solution to this problem. Violence is just unacceptable.

Bahddo:
Okay. Anything else you'd like to add?

I'm. Glad you learnt. Bye

healthserve:


Lol emotions. No psychologists make judgements without getting all the facts. Learn to always ask for full information on events before judging.

Violence is never acceptable. Any man who hits a woman probably needs a psychologist or a counselor. On the other hand, any woman who is beaten by her husband may want to consider talking to a lawyer. In my view, a man should never hit a woman because there is a way to handle a disagreement without resorting to violence.

Coming from someone who watched his mother maltreated as kid growing up, I'll advice give that man his space. If what you said is true and he's not feeling remorseful about his act, then he needs to be left alone. Lots of men bottle up emotions and won't want to talk about it. The result? They lash it out on their partners on the slightest opportunity.
By the way, you said this is the second time he's doing this. What was the cause of the first one? Tell us.

healthserve:



I'm. Glad you learnt. Bye

lol. Delusions. Someone who attributed the issue to the spiritual is talking about someone else learning. You've gotten the attention you wanted, you can now move your shallow mind to the next post.

I don't really enjoy conversations with people who are unable to see patterns, who would rather rant about how something is wrong or 'not ordinary hand' while attributing the 'why' to the spiritual. A world of people like you, and we'd still be arguing about the right way to light a fire with stones.

pushups44:


Violence is never acceptable. Any man who hits a woman probably needs a psychologist or a counselor. On the other hand, any woman who is beaten by her husband may want to consider talking to a lawyer. In my view, a man should never hit a woman because there is a way to handle a disagreement without resorting to violence.

I agree 100%

Bahddo:
lol. Delusions. Someone who attributed the issue to the spiritual is talking about someone else learning. You've gotten the attention you wanted, you can now move your shallow mind to the next post.

I don't really enjoy conversations with people who are unable to see patterns, who would rather rant about how something is wrong or 'not ordinary hand' while attributing the 'why' to the spiritual. A world of people like you, and we'd still be arguing about the right way to light a fire with stones.

Whatever. An intelligent monfd never judges on half truths. And I don't bother myself with people who assume spirituality doesn't exist or matter. Trust me. I don't

midnighter:


So what would you rather she had done? All these things youre writing have nothing to do with the fact that she went with her kids to the occasion.

She said that the man went out without telling her where he was going and she was surprised to see him there.

Youre just typing all sorts that dont even relate to the topic. Respect is reciprocal and respect starts with respecting yourself! Why cant she go somewhere if she feels like going

So if suppose she was injured with bruises all over her body she would have still attend the party? Abegiiiiiii you women should pick sense!

Wettoid123:
So if suppose she was injured with bruises all over her body she would have still attend the party? Abegiiiiiii you women should pick sense!

So is it a medical issue or a self-respect issue? Youre just typing rubbish lol let me free you, this discussion is useless.

I thought you were going to explain what I dont know but you succeeded in typing inanity, Bye

healthserve:



Whatever. An intelligent monfd never judges on half truths. And I don't bother myself with people who assume spirituality doesn't exist or matter. Trust me. I don't

nice attempt at a Strawman argument. Refusing to attribute everything to the spiritual is not the same as assuming spirituality does not exist. One would think that's easy for anyone to see.

Also, any discerning eye who knows a thing or two about human psychology can tell a lot from as few as two words (not just the what but the how it is said).

If you have read the op's posts and are still looking for concrete evidence that the husband finds her regular 'polite' suggestions on what he should wear or do irritating (and would rather believe enemies of their marriage cast a spell on him to act without reason), you have no business mentioning me. We are on different wavelengths. Stick to your shallow waters. Bye.