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Another Facebook Shocker - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Another Facebook Shocker by sevule(m): 8:54pm On Dec 03, 2010
Dude man up now. So she has a child and so Do not let other people make your decisions for you. If the child is not an issue then go ahead with the relationship, if it is then let her know and move on to other things!!!!!
Re: Another Facebook Shocker by SOPRANO(m): 10:00pm On Dec 03, 2010
[/b] @ YME,

U R SPOT ON, [b]

[/b]@OP,

HAVING A CHILD IS NOT A DETRIMENT TO A RELATIONSHIP, IF SHE'S A GOOD GIRL AND SINCERE WHY NOT GIVE HER A CHANCE. SINGLE MOMS MAKES BEST LOVER AND SHOW U SUM LOVING CARE
hOWEVER; PERSONALLY, I CAN'T MARRY A SINGLE MOM, BUT NEVER SAY NEVER[b]
Re: Another Facebook Shocker by LordReed(m): 1:36am On Dec 04, 2010
Maybe d OP is a prud one of dem straightlaced types dat hear d f-word n their mouth goes O-shaped.

Shocker indeed angry
Re: Another Facebook Shocker by Seun(m): 3:34pm On Dec 05, 2010
Pls don't dump her over this. sad
Re: Another Facebook Shocker by excoba101: 3:46pm On Dec 05, 2010
Follow your instinct man.

I have had few cases. For me i don't like it and the more i try to help it, it fails.
It wouldl be a little bit understandable if she was way older than me.
But a girl within age bracet. huh I dono. I think i can't do it for too long.
Re: Another Facebook Shocker by sleekch1c(f): 12:16am On Dec 06, 2010
excoba101:

Follow your instinct man.

I have had few cases. For me i don't like it and the more i try to help it, it fails.
It wouldl be a little bit understandable if she was way older than me.
But a girl within age bracet. huh I dono. I think i can't do it for too long.
GBAM!
@op,pls grow up!
Re: Another Facebook Shocker by juleze(f): 1:31pm On Dec 28, 2010
why am i always stuck with ?
i bet when you find the woman of your heart desire,your father will come and teach you how to do it while your mum will hold her legs for you,
first son my foot!
please grow up

@Annawhite- you took the words right out of my mouth.

@poster- If you've engaged in an activity that could have resulted in you having a child, then I think you should quit complaining and act like a 'real man'. But if you haven't, I [i][/i]might just understand your pain.
Re: Another Facebook Shocker by Dafemo(m): 1:37pm On Dec 28, 2010
What's bold face or do you mean 2 face
Re: Another Facebook Shocker by mamaken: 1:49pm On Dec 28, 2010
the question is:
if he decide to marry her, can he love her child the same way he loves her?

i pitty the child to speak the truth.
if a woman and her child r abbandoned by her husband/boyfriend, she should put all her efforts on bringing up the child in a decent way. and to do so, theres no place for another man in her life. a new man will never accept a child wich isnt hes own.
Re: Another Facebook Shocker by juleze(f): 1:56pm On Dec 28, 2010
if a woman and her child r abbandoned by her husband/boyfriend, she should put all her efforts on bringing up the child in a decent way. and to do so, theres no place for another man in her life. a new man will never accept a child wich isnt hes own.

I disagree with you. there's nothing like NEVER . There are men, albeit few, who would love the child like his theirs. It takes a matured man to do so though, same applies to women.
Re: Another Facebook Shocker by mamaken: 2:00pm On Dec 28, 2010
juleze:

I disagree with you. there's nothing like NEVER . There are men, albeit few, who would love the child like his theirs. It takes a matured man to do so though, same applies to women.

in good times perhaps, but when it comes to fight and argueement hes the first whos gonna call the child bad names. . .
unfortunately i've seen enough examples. . . sad
Re: Another Facebook Shocker by violent(m): 2:12pm On Dec 28, 2010
it's a no no for me if she's got a kid, not when I'm still struggling comprehending possibilities of marrying a non virgin cheesy, now she comes with a whole kid?
Re: Another Facebook Shocker by Pennywise(m): 2:27pm On Dec 28, 2010
It happens all the time. A girl thinks she can make a guy over-look her gabbage (I dont mean a human person in this sense) by deferring disclosure till when she considers the time and atmosphere appropriate. This is not right and its not a good sign. There is no proper time and place to 'come clean' and be honest.

Cards should be laid bare on the table from the onset. It will make the guy love you more for being honest. For how long did this girl think she was going to hide a 3yr old male offspring?
Re: Another Facebook Shocker by otokx(m): 2:39pm On Dec 28, 2010
I am still looking for what shocked the poster.
Re: Another Facebook Shocker by livedit(f): 4:28pm On Dec 28, 2010
Okay, I'm waiting to hear the shocker. You started chatting with an old "friend" on Facebook. You went back to your home town. Met up with her, took her out to reminisce about old time. She tells you she had a child. And, You didn't know she had a child. Big deal. You and her wasn't together. Things happen and she gave birth. Okaayyy, maybe Livedit is missing your point, but I don't see what's the problem. I mean, if you don't want to date a woman who already have a child. That IS your prerogative. Yall can still be friends right? Just find someone else if her having a child bothers you. End of story.
Re: Another Facebook Shocker by Nobody: 6:18pm On Dec 28, 2010
mamaken:

the question is:
if he decide to marry her, can he love her child the same way he loves her?

different ball game, different type of love, different relation all together. why would you expect that of anyone?!
a real man would love her and all her "flaws" or bounce.

i pitty the child to speak the truth.
if a woman and her child r abbandoned by her husband/boyfriend, she should put all her efforts on bringing up the child in a decent way.

having a father figure in that childs life IS the decent way. being happy again IS the decent way. having someone that cares and raise the child with her IS the decent way. believing that after divorce a woman should stay single for the rest of her life (like its a curse) is lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed.
not all women can handle raising a child on their own (as hard as many will try), just because it can be done, doesnt mean its the right thing to do (child wise). two loving parent/carer will always be better than one.

and to do so, theres no place for another man in her life. a new man will never accept a child wich isnt hes own.

thats a damn lie. please dont mistake REAL MEN with CHILDISH IMMATURE WANNABE HUMAN BEINGS.

mamaken:

in good times perhaps, but when it comes to fight and argueement hes the first whos gonna call the child bad names. . .
unfortunately i've seen enough examples. . . sad

what kind of immature man would insult A CHILD during an argument with his mother?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?
if the guy had no problem with the kid when they got married and love that child as his own (not all men are insecure as you think) then that child would be like his own and insulting him would be like insulting himself.

some people need to grow up and understand some few things about life. how can anyone think of insulting a child HE/SHE has raised from an early stage?! after a few yrs, most would care dearly for that child as their own.
Re: Another Facebook Shocker by sexy74(m): 6:21pm On Jan 20, 2011
@ poster did you ask her if she had a child before.
If your answer is no, then she has not done anything wrong.
Take heart and just live the life.
If you love her stay with her. She can't throw away her baby because she met you.
Re: Another Facebook Shocker by Avi8r: 8:07pm On Jan 20, 2011
A lot happens in 10 years, it gets more complicated with the element of distance. If you really like her, I dont see why you can't see her. Better yet, you should ask her why she never brought up her child in your conversations.
Re: Another Facebook Shocker by gentlem80(m): 9:32pm On Jan 20, 2011
Thanks guys,

I've called it quit with the lady in question. I just discovered she has more than one bf in niaja ( she is actually serving in Nigeria at the moment) and unknown to her, one of the bf is a friend of my friend who is serving in the same state with her. What pissed me off most is her lies and fronting. I'm happy I've parted ways with her. cool
Re: Another Facebook Shocker by Nobody: 9:41pm On Jan 20, 2011
@op u made the correct decision. ln 2007 i found myself in similar situation. l started dating a lady on 17th august&she told me on 30Sept that she had a baby at age 17(she was 23 in 2007) My friends advised me not to continue same with my family, especially my mum who cried to almost everyone. l acceded to their wish and today I'm happy& I'm sure shes also happy on her own. So u will always find another lady that haven't given birth.
all the best

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