It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers - Family - Nairaland
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| It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by dejiih01: 12:51pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
A father has shared the shocking advice he got from a man in a train telling him how wrong it is to apologize to kids. According to the father who shared details on his social media page, Usman Shamaki, a man in a train overheard his conversation with his kids where he apologize for leaving the house before they woke up in the morning and the man warned that children of nowadays are to be raised strict or they would spoil. See full story below. I left the house at 6am before the kids woke up so that I could catch the 1st train back to Abuja. While I was in transit my wife called. The kids had woken up & wanted to speak to me. I apologized to them for leaving without saying goodbye. I didn’t want to wake them. While I was speaking to them, a gentleman sitting in the opposite seat had this incredulous look on his face. When I was done with my call, he asked if it was my kids I was speaking to. I answered in the affirmative. Then he asked if it was them I was apologizing to. I said Yes. Dude goes on to give me a lecture about how it’s wrong to apologize to kids: Man: When u apologize to children u start to give them a feeling of self importance & they start to act spoilt. Me: That’s strange. My parents apologized to me when they were wrong & I’m not spoilt. Me: Secondly, apologizing to them teaches them a valuable lesson; to accept responsibility when they are wrong and to learn to apologize when they’re wrong. Man: Young man you are wrong. See, these kids of nowadays should be raised strictly. Apologizing to them will spoil them. Me: Sir, do you know there is a direct link between how u treat your kids and how they turn out in future? If you treat them harshly, that is how they’ll most likely turn out and they’ll treat their kids the same way. Man: You are still young. You don’t know how the world works. Me: OK Sir. I appreciate u taking the time to lecture me on life & raising kids. Let me raise my kids to be compassionate, considerate and kind. Raise yours to be how u want them to be. Are we good? Dude kept looking at me and shaking his head like I had committed a major I can’t understand how anyone would think it’s wrong to apologize to a child when you’re wrong and the fact that you’re wrong is so apparent. No wonder there are entitled and impolite people walking around thinking the world revolves around them. SOURCE: https://nnf.com.ng/p/its-wrong-to-apologize-to-kids-they-start-to-act-spoilt-man-warns-father/1599 2 Likes
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| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by donbachi(m): 12:55pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
na u born am...train am how u want...afterall,some go private school and some public school...as for me I won't.I can't start what will ruin me tomorrow. 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by Davash222(m): 12:57pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
That’s one thing with African parents. Their ego won’t let them apologize or even say thanks to their kids. Correct them or help them, what you’ll hear is ‘Ehe, is that why you’re shouting ‘. Their matter taya me , abeg 14 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by thorpido(m): 1:00pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
Me: Secondly, apologizing to them teaches them a valuable lesson; to accept responsibility when they are wrong and to learn to apologize when they’re wrong. That's all. 17 Likes 3 Shares |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by budaatum: 1:02pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
Thankfully, on this one, you all have fathers and don't just have to rely on "dem say" and can determine if you would have spoiled if your father had apologised to you for something he ought to have apologised for. And you can determine if you would apologise to your child when you do something wrong or just claim you are the always right non-apologising father who can't do anything wrong like your non-apologising wrongdoing father didn't do. 2 Likes |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by oglalasioux(m): 1:07pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
This OP sef. You mentioned the man's name which suggests he belongs to this people that breed like pigs and you are surprised he treats his kids like animals. 2 Likes |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by Aidejay(m): 1:12pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
Teach by example. Anything wey you want make your child learn and adopt as a lifestyle and philosophy you do it. 5 Likes |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by Joshmodest(m): 1:12pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
This isn't about spoiling kids , its about taking responsibility for your wrong doings , and failure to do so is pride , and it's teaching the kids a bad habit " pride ".. My dad was the rigid type like this man , and my mom was the liberal type , growing into a man today , whenever i visit my parents , I have this close bond with my mom , we discuss ,laugh and share stuffs together , and my dad is now jealous of the results of his past actions ...I obviously find it hard to have a convo with my dad , cos the relationship never existed , and its too late to start one ! make your kids your friends , and you will enjoy respect from them when they are no longer afraid of you !! 15 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by Aidejay(m): 1:14pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy. Robert A. Heinlein 3 Likes |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by LordKO(m): 1:17pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
There's nothing wrong with fathers apologizing to their kids when they wronged them; what's true though is that wrong application of apology to kids can spoil them. 8 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by Perfecttouchade: 1:22pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
Apologies made to your kids only teaches them to respect other people's feeling when they feel hurted by us...it makes understand the time to bring down the ego in every situation that are wrong, why will someone say its wrong to apologise to your children when u feel you've done something wrong? 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by Thejustw14(m): 1:31pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
99% of African parents residing in Africa don't apologise to their children.:!!:. It's normal out here.:!!:. 3 Likes |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by Danhudu: 1:40pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
Apologizing your kids will NEVER spoilt them 1 Like |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by We4all: 2:23pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
That's one hell of an 'African Mentality' we got right there! The truth is, more than 80% of African parents lack parenting skills: They never say ' I love you' to their kids because they don't want to be seen as weak. They don't discuss sex education with their teenage children because the topic is viewed as a taboo. They make promises and never stick to them, and dare you to challenge them. Even when they're wrong, they expect you to apologize because they feel they brought you into this world. Whoever told them that I begged to be birthed? Unfortunately, the most guilty of all are the poor folks. To the few African parents who are not guilty of the above, well, congratulations to you! You're what the world need at this point. 8 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by CharlotteFlair: 3:06pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
Joshmodest:This brought me down to my knees. Try and forget the past. Show your dad more love even if he didn't request for it. Please forgive and forget. 1 Like |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by CharlotteFlair: 3:09pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
African children are different from American or European children, same goes for their understandings. Apology is good, but when applied wrongly can send a wrong message. 5 Likes |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by Lamanii22(f): 3:51pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
Thejustw14: Lol right... It's more common among old generation African parents... You'd think they hate you lol... Until today I can't share relationship stuff with my mom.. Or tell her I met a guy I like.. She'd think I'm heading to destruction... 2 Likes |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by Amujale(m): 4:02pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
Kids are the younger version of a would be Adult. The reason they are known as the leaders of tommorow. CharlotteFlair: Whatever that suppose to mean. Whatever a farmer plants coupled with the quality of one's intensive care is that which detemines one's harvest. One cannot plant maize and harvest beans. Here's a pratical example as well as a question. Given a trustworthy experiment whereby five kids from all around the world are kept in intensive care by professionals whos job it is to educate these individuals. Assuming the above experiment is held whereby Nigerian, Ghanian, UK, USA, and Indian kids undergo the same regime of education, they are woken the same time of the day, are fed exactly the same food and in exactly the same way, are taught at exactly the same time periods and exactly the same content. Question: Who amongst the participants will have a better understanding of what they are being taught? Answer: They should all acquire the same level education and possess the same understanding of what they are being taught. Forget about personal genius or edge for a moment, normally, all the above individuals should have the same amount of understanding relating to whatever it is that they are being taught. Lets' assume the human brain in all humans, process information in the exact same way, then, that would suggest that the only difference between one from the other is in terms of the content in their syllables. For instance if a child is being fed lies and untruths for all of his/her life, then there understanding will be based on falsehood and fantasy. However, if our young ones are being fed reality as in taught self awareness, self determination, self sustainability, self sufficiency, then such will assist in reaching his/her full potential going forward. Teach them to respect their tutors. Teach them to respect their elders. Why? Because they will become one some day and they would expect the younger ones to respect them as well. |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by Amujale(m): 4:13pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
Talk to our young ones as you would a young adult. Listen to our young ones as we would to a young adult. Seek their opinion on all issues related to them and depending on their success rate regarding their descision making, extend their opinion to other issues that may or may not directly concern them. Seeking their opinion doesnt automatically lead to incorporating such opinion, although one will incorporate their opinions once their proven to be good and correct to the ones that the parent/guardian will be making. Our children are the future leaders of tommorow, therefore its our duty to equip them with all the necessary tools that will allow them to excell towards great and better things. |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by Amujale(m): 4:22pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
Apologising to our young ones allows us to be leading by example. 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by Nobody: 4:56pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
Nonsense |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by Amanee(f): 5:12pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
CharlotteFlair: This your post reeks racial inferiority... 1 Like |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by CharlotteFlair: 5:14pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
Amanee:Whatever rocks your boat. |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by ImaIma1(f): 5:43pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
Joshmodest: That's something a lot of men don't understand. It's not about paying school fees and all. If there's no relationship, they will regret it later. 1 Like |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by MrBrownJay1(m): 6:47pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
if you've made a mistake then APOLOGIZE to your kids if you did something wrong then APOLOGIZE to your kids if you've failed them in anyway then APOLOGIZE to your kids ... if you dont teach/show them humility, then you are just raising monsters. 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by bukatyne(f): 7:08pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
Not strange in our clime. Apologizing to a child when you are wrong helps their self-worth (that they deserve to be treated well) and teaches them to take responsibility for their actions/inactions. You also have to teach the kids respect, boundaries, etc. etc. |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by Uyi168: 8:40pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
If ego doesn't kill African parents, nothing else will..
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| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by CAPSLOCKED: 9:30pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
2 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by crackkhaus: 10:10pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
If only most parents knew what an apology could do to the self-esteem of their children, we won't have so many broken adults running around preaching self-love just to convince themselves they are not miserable. 1 Like |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by Reichel99(f): 10:11pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
Many of the guys here saying fathers should apologize to their kids will still do something contrary in real life. |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by ZIMDRILL(m): 10:55pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
most people are overthinking especially those who are saying it builts self entitlement to the kids if father apologies but its not people you are thinking as adult, kids pick love in different ways if a father apologies to leave the house to early before they woke up, the apology is showing love to kids, they will understand that daddy said sorry for leaving without saying goodbye which is to some people would be a combination of words and hug or words of encouragement like being a good boy/girl at skol etc problem with many african parents they dont know how to show love to kids, kids are like slave or 2nd class citizen in the house, there is no love put fear put in to us Dont get me wrong am not saying western way of raising kids is better than us no, here we just picked the negativity from most african homes |
| Re: It's Wrong To Apologize To Kids, They Start To Act Spoilt - Man Warns Fathers by chival(f): 11:09pm On Jan 19, 2020 |
thorpido: My sentiments exactly. Many African parents are sadly lacking in skills required to raise emotionally balanced children. |
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