PeacefulBae:
Okay, so most of d comments am getting is negative, guys bashing me for being loose and all. But it's okay.

what where you expecting, it's nairaland. Where guys pour there frustrations and claim alpha. Most of Dem are in SS 2 or just finished write jamb and weac and you expect Dem to give u mature advice, they can't give what they don't have now, cos they themselves are rookies.

My dear you did the right letting go. I bet you had sex with him thinking it will light the feelings, now you know better and you have done the right thing by telling him how you feel. Don't beat yourself about it.

Thumbs up

You nor get feelings for the Bobo but you still let the Bobo enter Jerusalem. May sense fall on you shaa. Na your type go marry still come go NYSC camp go dey give one small Bobo one corner. You're a cheerful Giver, obviously. Pardon my manners

Sometimes, I go through the troubles of commenting on threads because I realise that there are so many young persons on the forum these days... so many persons on social media.. and there's a lot of bad content out there... lots of perverse lifestyles that shouldn't be accepted as a norm. So I give my 2 cents, in the hope that someone will read it... and do things right.

First of all, never date anyone out of pity. They'll end up regarding you as a bad person... you'll feel guilty too. This is because you'll never be able to treat them right since you don't love them... you'll never be able to give them the love they crave. At the end of the day, time, resources and affections would have been wasted.

And about people bashing you for having sex with him... well, the truth is bitter. Hopefully, you'll take the central message and not repeat this very act. It really is cringe worthy that you'll sleep with someone you have no feelings whatsoever for. How did you go through it? Are you a master at steeling your nerves and shutting out your emotions or something? It's worrisome that you can survive having sex with someone you don't love, when you aren't under durress... it must be an ordeal... And it makes us wonder if you don't realise the full import of sex... of giving your body to someone else. Is it that you find it difficult to say no? Because, I mean, I don't see how you allowed yourself to he pressured into the relationship in the first place.

See ehn... it's not as if we all don't know that premarital sex is bad and sinful. But most of us fell into the temptation, not merely because sex is sweet, but because when you love someone and are in a committed relationship with them, sex becomes one of the means of expression. It is the feeling of love and committment and bonds that pulls lots of people into it.
Without love or strong attraction, it's just a disgusting thought.

PeacefulBae:
Okay, so most of d comments am getting is negative, guys bashing me for being loose and all. But it's okay.

Ignore them

Thanks my dear, I wasn't expecting anything different.
Thanks again.

frubben:
what where you expecting, it's nairaland. Where guys pour there frustrations and claim alpha. Most of Dem are in SS 2 or just finished write jamb and weac and you expect Dem to give u mature advice, they can't give what they don't have now, cos they themselves are rookies.

My dear you did the right letting go. I bet you had sex with him thinking it will light the feelings, now you know better and you have done the right thing by telling him how you feel. Don't beat yourself about it.

Thumbs up

I'm not here to bash you like others or something. But it's good u told him u, I felt u tired to light up the relationship, perhaps u tried to love, just to feel his love but it didn't work. You can't force love, it's very difficult to love someone unwillingly. So just leave him.. Secondly, twas really bad having sex with someone u not married to. 1 Thessalonians 4:3 (KJV) For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication. Let's obey the will of God. God help you.

No p
Thanks

justnock:
You nor get feelings for the Bobo but you still let the Bobo enter Jerusalem. May sense fall on you shaa. Na your type go marry still come go NYSC camp go dey give one small Bobo one corner. You're a cheerful Giver, obviously. Pardon my manners

Thanks alot, I appreciate.

Godsonjolly:
I'm not here to bash you like others or something. But it's good u told him u, I felt u tired to light up the relationship, perhaps u tried to love, just to feel his love but it didn't work. You can't force love, it's very difficult to love someone unwillingly. So just leave him.. Secondly, twas really bad having sex with someone u not married to. 1 Thessalonians 4:3 (KJV) For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication. Let's obey the will of God. God help you.

There is high rate of sexual immorality among youth. That is why most of them confuse lust with love. You shouldn't waste your time with someone you don't love.

Oga calm down okay, if you r frustrated, take it elsewhere. I have a business of my own, I pay my fees and settle my bills. So just calm down okay, if it was because of money, wat happened wouldn't have happened. So take a chill pill and mind ur choice of words pls.

jawalis:
Bitch. You bleeped him and now you realize you ain’t attracted to him. Just say out what you have in your mouth motherfucker. “He’s not meeting your financial need” and let Nairaland rest. You don’t feel for him yet you opened your organ of fornication. Smh.

Ok, thanks.

rosy1992:
There is high rate of sexual immorality among youth. That is why most of them confuse lust with love. You shouldn't waste your time with someone you don't love.

Thanks for ur advice, I do really appreciate. I understand you clearly, I'll correct my wrong. Thanks again.

PrimadonnaO:
Sometimes, I go through the troubles of commenting on threads because I realise that there are so many young persons on the forum these days... so many persons on social media.. and there's a lot of bad content out there... lots of perverse lifestyles that shouldn't be accepted as a norm. So I give my 2 cents, in the hope that someone will read it... and do things right.

First of all, never date anyone out of pity. They'll end up regarding you as a bad person... you'll feel guilty too. This is because you'll never be able to treat them right since you don't love them... you'll never be able to give them the love they crave. At the end of the day, time, resources and affections would have been wasted.

And about people bashing you for having sex with him... well, the truth is bitter. Hopefully, you'll take the central message and not repeat this very act. It really is cringe worthy that you'll sleep with someone you have no feelings whatsoever for. How did you go through it? Are you a master at steeling your nerves and shutting out your emotions or something? It's worrisome that you can survive having sex with someone you don't love, when you aren't under durress... it must be an ordeal... And it makes us wonder if you don't realise the full import of sex... of giving your body to someone else. Is it that you find it difficult to say no? Because, I mean, I don't see how you allowed yourself to he pressured into the relationship in the first place.

See ehn... it's not as if we all don't know that premarital sex is bad and sinful. But most of us fell into the temptation, not merely because sex is sweet, but because when you love someone and are in a committed relationship with them, sex becomes one of the means of expression. It is the feeling of love and committment and bonds that pulls lots of people into it.
Without love or strong attraction, it's just a disgusting thought.

PeacefulBae:
Hello everyone, am kinda new here, I follow stories but am low-key as I hardly comment. D story is long but pls pardon my blunders.
Before I start, I'll do a brief intro, I have my National Diploma from Auchi Polytechnic, currently doing my B.SC program at d Federal University of Petroleum Resources, Effurun, Delta State.
So I started working in a sch, (I'll say like I was an office asst) around March last year. So there's this corper who was serving already b4 I came and I happened to share d same office with him, he was computer literate, so that kinda made us work together then we kick-started off as friends and everything was fine, he'll call me every other morning asking how my nyt was or just to know y I was running late or just to hear my voice b4 I resume work.
Barely weeks after, we started having series of arguments even over d slightest things, infact, we never agreed on anything.
Later on, we kinda had it going, but not smoothly, we'll be talking and he'll just jokingly say he's into me and all of that, we'll joke abt it and laugh it off. (Note: I didn't take it seriously)
Some time in August, the director of the sch were I worked called both of us to his office and asked for a laptop which was in d corper's possession, he would have ordinarily just asked me, but since he saw us work together all d time so he asked both of us. Ryt in front of the elderly man, I was quite and was waiting for d corper to answer d question. He told d director dat he suspects that d bursar took it home. I was shocked by his response so I left d office, he was behind me, while we were in d office, d director called d bursar on d phone and he told him he never took d laptop. D man called us back, reluctantly d corper told him he was with it. D director was angry, he complained that he has lost trust in me because I knew and i didn't tell him immediately he asked. That caused a serious issue as we didn't talk for a long time.
We later settled when he apologized. There were other things we argued abt so d r/ship wasn't going too well.
Around August, he started asking that I b his gf, he's aware that my ex-bf and I were having issues and broke up. The pressure was really much, i couldn't escape from it cos we see everyday. I spoke with a family friend and explained everything to him. (With time, I understood that he seemed like a good guy, he's a church guy and that's a complete opposite of me, he seems responsible too) He encouraged me to give it a try despite my constant complaints that I never felt anything for him, not even for once. So finally, I decided to accept based on d pleas from my family friend who encouraged me that it could work and I may get to like him with time.
Few weeks into, I wasn't getting it, if he kisses me, I don't reciprocate (me dah like pre-intimacy), everything was boring, we had sex only once and believe me, I never liked any bit of it.
So now, I decided to stop forcing myself, I called him ystdy and told him I can't go on with it. I told him I don't feel d same for him. He was hrt broken and I feel really bad.
I just need you guys to advise me, is that d right thing to do
My friend told me that because of d last hrt brk I had, I needed someone who loves me very much, which is this guy, but I don't feel d same and I don't know y.

you ve known him since last year. That's enough time to judge his character. From your write up, he might have a slimy personality, but since I don't know him, I am not sure. That's up to you.



If your spirit is telling you that something is off, Then something is definitely off.

I think that this corper has a hidden, less than pleasant agenda for you, because what he is doing to you is called lovebombing, look it up


Besides, beware of church boys who is trying to get in your pants. You guys had sex sef, and you are still not attracted to him. And no relationship can work without attraction. Case closed.

Girl, you made the right decision. I am sure you feel relieved in your spirit and mind.

He will try again to get you.to date him.

Thanks alot. I appreciate you taking out time for this. Thanks alot, I'll take your advice.

funmisticqueen2:
you ve known him since last year. That's enough time to judge his character. From your write up, he might have a slimy personality, but since I don't know him, I am not sure. That's up to you.



If your spirit is telling you that something is off, Then something is definitely off.

I think that this corper has a hidden, less than pleasant agenda for you, because what he is doing to you is called lovebombing, look it up


Besides, beware of church boys who is trying to get in your pants. You guys had sex sef, and you are still not attracted to him. And no relationship can work without attraction. Case closed.

Girl, you made the right decision. I am sure you feel relieved in your spirit and mind.

He will try again to get you.to date him.

How can you date someone that's your colleague in the same office. Biko, how do you guys do it? It is unprofessional. Most times it ends up awful. It is a good thing you put an end to it. If you want to date someone it shouldnt be where u hussle.

You did nothing wrong. Forget about the guy and move on with your life young lady.
Anybody wey fit lie blatantly like that deserve to be kept at arm's length. You made the mistake the first time; don't repeat it again.

Your fluid usage of shorthand is irksome and disconcerting.

You guys are not compatible, why are you wasting your life together?

PeacefulBae:
Okay, so most of d comments am getting is negative, guys bashing me for being loose and all. But it's okay.

it's not like that. In our culture ladies are considered as epitome of beauty,intelligence,chastity and innocence and of course these r good qualities men shd look out for in women. Which ever way u our sister n daughter and we hope u compose urself n not disgrace us again. Cheers

PeacefulBae:
Hello everyone, am kinda new here, I follow stories but am low-key as I hardly comment. D story is long but pls pardon my blunders.
Before I start, I'll do a brief intro, I have my National Diploma from Auchi Polytechnic, currently doing my B.SC program at d Federal University of Petroleum Resources, Effurun, Delta State.
So I started working in a sch, (I'll say like I was an office asst) around March last year. So there's this corper who was serving already b4 I came and I happened to share d same office with him, he was computer literate, so that kinda made us work together then we kick-started off as friends and everything was fine, he'll call me every other morning asking how my nyt was or just to know y I was running late or just to hear my voice b4 I resume work.
Barely weeks after, we started having series of arguments even over d slightest things, infact, we never agreed on anything.
Later on, we kinda had it going, but not smoothly, we'll be talking and he'll just jokingly say he's into me and all of that, we'll joke abt it and laugh it off. (Note: I didn't take it seriously)
Some time in August, the director of the sch were I worked called both of us to his office and asked for a laptop which was in d corper's possession, he would have ordinarily just asked me, but since he saw us work together all d time so he asked both of us. Ryt in front of the elderly man, I was quite and was waiting for d corper to answer d question. He told d director dat he suspects that d bursar took it home. I was shocked by his response so I left d office, he was behind me, while we were in d office, d director called d bursar on d phone and he told him he never took d laptop. D man called us back, reluctantly d corper told him he was with it. D director was angry, he complained that he has lost trust in me because I knew and i didn't tell him immediately he asked. That caused a serious issue as we didn't talk for a long time.
We later settled when he apologized. There were other things we argued abt so d r/ship wasn't going too well.
Around August, he started asking that I b his gf, he's aware that my ex-bf and I were having issues and broke up. The pressure was really much, i couldn't escape from it cos we see everyday. I spoke with a family friend and explained everything to him. (With time, I understood that he seemed like a good guy, he's a church guy and that's a complete opposite of me, he seems responsible too) He encouraged me to give it a try despite my constant complaints that I never felt anything for him, not even for once. So finally, I decided to accept based on d pleas from my family friend who encouraged me that it could work and I may get to like him with time.
Few weeks into, I wasn't getting it, if he kisses me, I don't reciprocate (me dah like pre-intimacy), everything was boring, we had sex only once and believe me, I never liked any bit of it.
So now, I decided to stop forcing myself, I called him ystdy and told him I can't go on with it. I told him I don't feel d same for him. He was hrt broken and I feel really bad.
I just need you guys to advise me, is that d right thing to do
My friend told me that because of d last hrt brk I had, I needed someone who loves me very much, which is this guy, but I don't feel d same and I don't know y.

Sister. After suffering from heartbreak don't rush into the next relationship ooo so as to avoid carrying the pain to the next person. That guy might have the best intentions for you. You need to be sure that you it's what you want for yourself... I'll advise you to build emotional intelligence to help you manoeuvre the rigours of relationships.

Pls do well to follow @preshgaza on twitter she helps with emotions and all this relationship wahala.

u dey C ur husband U dey Yan akpata

I dont even get what is with all these nonsense talk about her keeping herself and being wrong for having slept with the guy, who ever tells this to the men who open threads about sex? Or u dont know those guys are also sleeping with women? Society needs to stop having double standards for men and women. We are all judged the same before God.
Dear OP, pls let no one tell you how you should live your life or guilt trip you. Any man who will be with you sincerely, will be because of who you are and not because of his selfish need to feel like a conqueror. We all deserve love, I suggest you patiently wait for yours it will come in due time.

Ok. Thanks.

shomutuski:



Sister. After suffering from heartbreak don't rush into the next relationship ooo so as to avoid carrying the pain to the next person. That guy might have the best intentions for you. You need to be sure that you it's what you want for yourself... I'll advise you to build emotional intelligence to help you manoeuvre the rigours of relationships.

Pls do well to follow @preshgaza on twitter she helps with emotions and all this relationship wahala.

Thanks alot.

Kyom20:
I dont even get what is with all these nonsense talk about her keeping herself and being wrong for having slept with the guy, who ever tells this to the men who open threads about sex? Or u dont know those guys are also sleeping with women? Society needs to stop having double standards for men and women. We are all judged the same before God.
Dear OP, pls let no one tell you how you should live your life or guilt trip you. Any man who will be with you sincerely, will be because of who you are and not because of his selfish need to feel like a conqueror. We all deserve love, I suggest you patiently wait for yours it will come in due time.

PeacefulBae:
Oga calm down okay, if you r frustrated, take it elsewhere. I have a business of my own, I pay my fees and settle my bills. So just calm down okay, if it was because of money, wat happened wouldn't have happened. So take a chill pill and mind ur choice of words pls.

who cares about the f#ck you do. Get it straight and fix your cheap life. Fucking with someone you claim you ain’t feeling for and you think it’s great. The guy actually needs some brain reset for been gullible enough Falling for you.

Ok thanks for d advice.

Lol, y r you so pained?

jawalis:
who cares about the f#ck you do. Get it straight and fix your cheap life. Fucking with someone you claim you ain’t feeling for and you think it’s great. The guy actually needs some brain reset for been gullible enough Falling for you.

Ok. Thank you.

Quality20:
it's not like that. In our culture ladies are considered as epitome of beauty,intelligence,chastity and innocence and of course these r good qualities men shd look out for in women. Which ever way u our sister n daughter and we hope u compose urself n not disgrace us again. Cheers

PeacefulBae:
Lol, y r you so pained?

am pained probably because I couldn’t figure out what lead me to argument with a hole

Thank you.

Lordswazz:
You did nothing wrong. Forget about the guy and move on with your life young lady.
Anybody wey fit lie blatantly like that deserve to be kept at arm's length. You made the mistake the first time; don't repeat it again.

Ok. I clearly understand how you feel, just drink a glass of chilled water, you will b fine okay.

jawalis:
am pained probably because I couldn’t figure out what lead me to argument with a hole

PeacefulBae:
Ok. I clearly understand how you feel, just drink a glass of chilled water, you will b fine okay.

. Thanks so much. But pls do fix yourself