solite3:
Although her actions but he should handle it with maturity.

Acidosis:
Better don't allow some of these ladies confuse you. You deserve to be angry for as long as she acted differently from the NORM in YOUR HOME What works for A won't necessarily work for be. If the norm in YOUR HOME is to give a prior notice, then you deserve to be worried. exactly sir, she deliberately call for my bluff for not telling ahead because i corrected her earlier for something she did wrong, this a person that we always inform ourselves ahead of this kind of schedule and will make sure i support called her every hrs till she will be back

There are homes where fathers don't know the whereabouts of mothers and children. Someone from this kind of home may have advised you wrongly on this thread.

If I were you, I wouldn't bring an issue like this to Nairaland. It's best managed internally. Even in my most distant relationship, it is a MUST/NORM to discuss our plans and whereabouts.

It has nothing to do with age. Don't let any kid confuse you here. Go to the root of the matter and make resolutions.

zeb04:
Is there a reason you didn't want her to go or were you just trying to exercise your “Authority ?

If there was a reason, why didn’t you tell her. Eg I wouldn’t want you to travel because blah,blah, blah, instead of NO.

Note: you are dealing with an adult, not a 6 year old child.

armyofone:
How can you tell someone going to shop for goods for her shop not to go ??
You are supposed to show positive support in this kind Nigeria economy! So you would have preferred she stayed at home gloating over what just happened? Isn't the profits to be made for the family?

Please leave the poor woman and show her love.

LadySarah:
Buy koboko and give her 24 lashes or kill her. Women Don see something ontop marriage.

Adult like you is who you want to punish for disobedience.
I guess she is also a breadwinner like you. When other men open shops for their wives and they sell everything with padlock you are here saying your hand no dey for going to Lagos.
An enterprising wife knows when to restock her goods. She should not go as if you had something important for her to do for you.

Sir Horseband, hoard ur penis . That is all.
Mtcheww.

Mixfeeling:
Good afternoon, fellow Nairalander I would like to seek your advice on best way i can deal with a disobedience wife. The issue we had started yesterday when i try to correct her for something she done wrong, she flared up on me instead of her to explain things to me in a polite manner....... fast-forward to this morning after she prepared our children's for school, and they are about to go out, she came to me that she will be travelling from Sagamu where we reside to Lagos to buy some items for her shop as she used to go before now without informing ahead. I quickly told her i have no hand in it that she should not go today again as she refused to inform me ahead as she used to do before now, she immediately rebuffed and promise to embark on the travelling.... she pick up her phone and call her dad that his husband has started that they should warn me bla bla bla and cut off the phone conversation, i call her after some hours to know if she thoroughly went ahead with the journey, i found out she was already in Lagos where she used to buy her goods. i needed everyone advice on what should be my next line of action. Thanks

Lamanii22:
"Disobedience" in that context should be "disobedient"

Ginaz:


The matter tire me I swear ... o.p can hopefully find other suggestions that suits him or sound reasonable cos they don’t put mouth for husband and wife matter o.

For night na serious drilling for bed go end am. while we are here fighting and stressing ourselves over suggestions , they are busy Making peace under the sheets.

I don wash my hands off this matter .

Mixfeeling:
It is a pity you are or about be marry to someone, is it crime to response without throwing jabs? if it how you being behave to your husband at home,it is better you keep it to your home pls

TheArchangel:
"""Her husband has started again ""
Red flag sir. A lot you are not saying. Waiting for the other side of the story

mrblessed:
You relish picking out grammatical errors, without explaining how not to repeat such errors in the future. It doesn't make sense to just point out errors and leave it hanging without some form of analysis. I think you will make a very bad teacher.

Lamanii22:



I just didn't want to be too forward... I only pointed that out so the OP can modify/edit it... Pardon me... P.S I'm not a bad teacher... Some people are just unteachable ...

Boliboli760:
I wish the OP and all the men like him all the best that life can offer.

- Women are adult just like you, NOT your kids, NOT your younger sister or Adugbo sister. They are Adult female who know their right from their left most of the times. And make mistake and do any errors just like adult men do.

- Marriage to a woman is NOT for you to have control over her. NOT AT ALL. It is for you to have a companion who does her own thing and you support her. You do your own thing and she supports you. Two adults who get the opportunity to SHARE their lives together, Emphasis on the word SHARE. Marriage is not a license for you to dominate or choke your partner.

- A lot of men are getting it wrong and I blame we parents for not teaching our boys, Especially mothers who go through the same horrific experience with their husbands and fail to point out to their boys that the way your father is behaving towards me is not LOVE. It is Ego, Controlling and Inexcusable, NO man should treat a woman the way your father is behaving towards me.

If this woman that OP is complaining about , divorces him tomorrow. He will come back here and open a new account to explain how the woman he supposedly loved, opened shop for and paid all her bills left him. He will never mention how he sucked the life out of her, how bad his self entitlement was, how he felt being humble is for a weak man and how he never gave LOVE a chance but instead he was fighting for the position of head of the house. Fighting for a position of First place ,that no body is struggling with HIM.

- You seat your behind on the chair or bed, while your LOVE struggle to dress up the kids ,feed them and prepare for school. And she still struggles to go to the market to sort out her business ,with customers on her neck. And with your own judgemental wahala to deal with. And all you are LOOKING for is HOW to deal with your LOVE. The HALF of you. NOT LOOKING for how to support her, how to make sure the home is okay for her to continue business and take care of the family. BUT you come here to find out how to DEAL with her.

I just want to ask WHAT THE Bleep IS THIS THING CALLED LOVE? My question is to Nigerian MEN.
Because I am not understanding, I am not impressed with men at all. Since I was a little girl and I am an adult now and the SHIT is getting worse. LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL Bleep DO THESE MEN THINK WE ARE,THEIR PUPPET.

Saying bullshit like ,IF I HAD MONEY YOU WILL OBEY ME MORE. No Bruv, if you have money I will obey the Money not you. Because I want your money. Respect is reciprocal .SIMPLE

Oyiboman69:
I think some slap will do the magic lol, but not continuous beating oo,we are Africans, don't forget that,

travelland:
Na so marriage hard? you haven't given any reason why you didn't want her to go and buy goods for her shop

We4all:


Yeah, just like your papa did to your momma right?

Oyiboman69:

Says the orphan

mrblessed:
Forward but not too forward, is a clever way to deflect attention from your grammar nitpicking hobby. It wouldnt have mattered if not that the elders have been watching with keen interest. DearTeachable Lamanii22, you seem to be in love with ellipsis. However, your flagrant abuse of that punctuation mark casts a doubt on the veracity of your professed love.

Note: It is just for your reading pleasure, alone.

Goodplace:



You're an idiot

zeb04:
Is there a reason you didnt want her to go or were you just trying to exercise your “Authority ?

If there was a reason, why didn’t you tell her. Eg I wouldn’t want you to travel because blah,blah, blah, instead of NO.

Note: you are dealing with an adult, not a 6 year old child.

Mixfeeling:
It is a pity you are or about be marry to someone, is it crime to response without throwing jabs? if it how you being behave to your husband at home,it is better you keep it to your home pls

LadySarah:



Hahahha Come and pay me for the data wasted in replying you. Marriage is a partnership. Get that into ur head.

grafixdon:


Respect this man, isn't your mate. I'm sure you're not married yet

Mixfeeling:
Good afternoon, fellow Nairalander I would like to seek your advice on best way i can deal with a disobedience wife. The issue we had started yesterday when i try to correct her for something she done wrong, she flared up on me instead of her to explain things to me in a polite manner....... fast-forward to this morning after she prepared our children's for school, and they are about to go out, she came to me that she will be travelling from Sagamu where we reside to Lagos to buy some items for her shop as she used to go before now without informing ahead. I quickly told her i have no hand in it that she should not go today again as she refused to inform me ahead as she used to do before now, she immediately rebuffed and promise to embark on the travelling.... she pick up her phone and call her dad that his husband has started that they should warn me bla bla bla and cut off the phone conversation, i call her after some hours to know if she thoroughly went ahead with the journey, i found out she was already in Lagos where she used to buy her goods. i needed everyone advice on what should be my next line of action. Thanks

Ginaz:
Don’t let anger get the best of you when she comes home, you shouldn’t confront her as exchange of words may occur, you guys may quarrel which would do no good to the already strain tension.

I don’t see your wife apologizing to you one bit for her disobedient act so don’t bother to confront rather be calm and try to find a way to make this not happen again.

As the head of house , your authority is very important . There can’t be two captains in a boat. Tell her in a calm and cold manner to never repeat such acts or she will face the consequences or see the stuff you’re made of as the man of the house.

There’s something about a stern and cold voice that always send chill down my spine when I’ve overstepped my boundaries .

Men , you guys don’t know this . Authority won’t have any effect when it’s gotten through force or punishments . When you give an order as the head of house , be calm while saying it, walk away , go chill and relax.

When you come back and your wife still did what she has said she would , smile , go inside and say nothing. Eat and sleep. Give her the money for house maintenance, give her the money for the kids but give nothing to her , buy treats for the kids but buy her nothing. If she’s the working type, buy everything yourself , making sure you 10 kobo won’t be left for her to use.

Don’t care about a dime when it comes to giving her money. If she like she should carry her hair for 3months don’t care. Women love money, they love eating money not theirs, believe me she won’t be comfortable.

She will start nagging , complaints here and there but don’t say anything. Until she bursts up her emotions then you tell her that this is the repercussions of her disobedience.

Believe me , she will think twice before she acts disorderly towards you.