1. Too much lies can make a lady call her boyfriend, and mistakenly tells him. Baby pls send me money, I just died.

2. "Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled , "I'm so wet , give it to me now

!" She could scream all she wanted to. I was keeping the umbrella.

Evil minded people, what were you thinking??

3. All these Enugu gals sef, which one is

"I have been trying your number is not responsible"

4.Some have bae but can not cheat .Some can cheat but have no bae . I have bae and i can la la la what do yu want 2 hear? Amebo

5.Relationship stress can actually make you look for a seat belt in the toilet

6.Nigerian parents be like; mayweather $

300 million dollars(114 billion naira) In one

fight, thunder fire any teacher that

separates my child when fighting in school

11.African parents can send unnecessary messages when the see you doing nothing.

Like:

Obinna go and check whether there is air outside

Lkm

12.Yesterday I was toasting some gal for love.. She ask me I hope U R not a player like other men I replied.. I am an ATHLETES.. I don't play with relationship but I run with it

ladies think getting a right man is easy

13.Most girls wil be claiming thug on facebook yet their mother

use to excort them to urinate at midnight

14.If na yoruba pple invent ATM and you go insert card with left hand ,the machine go tell u"Insufficient home training

15.Thank God body Part can't be borrowed if not u will be hearing tins like Ugonna Blessing borrow me your breast, you know say ma own don fall finish.

16.Beat a child

Console him with biscuit or sweet

Ask him who beat him and he'll point at another person. That's how corruption started in naija

17.Those that comment on my post like, "LWTMP laugh wan tear my pant" I beg we need tailors for this group inside cos peoples pants can't keep tearing everyday. I hate rubbish

18.I THINK GARRI AND SUGAR SHOULD BE ADDED TO THE FIRST AID BOX THAT STUFF HAD BEEN SAVING LIFE SINCE 1961

19.It's only African parents dat will advice you for 6hours & still tell you "I don't have much to say"..

20.If government bans make up for ladies, some men will not recognise their wives or girlfriends.The girls will be chasing their guys like "baby it's me Sandra your wife" GUY:"No the Sandra I married is fair and has eye brows. But you are rather BLACK with no eyebrows. You are not sandra"

21.U came to kidnap me with a G-Wagon and u expect me to shout. Abeg shift make I balance well.

22.some girls will plait their hair and their forehead will be shining as if their brain is using solar energy.

Lemme mind my business sef.

23.WITCHCRAFT" Is when a Yoruba girl had

an accident and then quickly picks up her

phone, logged in and posted “just had an

accident, #injury fell on me. #Red on legs#blood_on_cheek#" the wahala is now when

you tag me “feeling like dying with okikiola

and 99 others"

24.Hello Friends

I Have Kidnapped Myself

Please Deposit 2000k Into My first bank Account Or I Will Never Come Back to post..

Acc No : 3110043567

Please Save My Life I don't wanna

die young

25.First bank don vex o

Message I received this morning...

Dear customer, we warned you four years ago and we are here to warn

you again..your bank account with balance of N0.13 has been restricted and banned

due to the the instruction by CBN regarding BVN,you will no longer be able to deposit or withdraw money from your bank account. ... please kindly return our withdrawal booklets and ATM card we issued to you as you could not even be kind enough to come and verify your account after we opened it free of charge for you and still dash you N1,000 as bonus which you immediately withdrawed without leaving a wit for us.we don't want to involve the police in this matter because na only God go punish you ,and we swear we will not warn you again,so just respect yourself and return all the bank documents we gave you before thunder

fire you there.IDIOT.

26.My wife wanted to disgrace me in the presence of her friends, she said I wasn't good in bed . She was shocked when they all disagreed with her .

*Is God not fighting my battle?...

27.Do you know it can take family and friends just 5days to raise 3m for burial and 1yr to raise 20k to support the living?

#FACT !!

28. Just because of one fine osher girl thats why u give all ur money in the offering box, now u are looking for a lift..

bro, can't u see that your sense is shaking.

29. You are 45yrs old and you still dance and shout when Nepa bring light..

pls bro, come my side we have psycatric hospital .

30. Beyonce just sent me a friend request, but her location is showing me Ajegunle, Nigeria

Ahbi has beyoncy relocated?

31.I have made so many mistakes in my life but what I'll not try is to fight where there will be no one to separate us .

I can't come and intentionally kill myself..

32.All smokers are liable to die young .

But Nigerians smokers are liable to live till 150 years .

Omo......fear us ohh..

33.Am never going to speak English again

until I find that letter *J* in *Soldier...

34.I never knew am this handsome until 4 ladies

started dragging my

hand in the market yesterday "FINE BOY!! FINE

BOY!! PLEASE COME AND BUY FUFU".

35.Nigerians will neva stop amazing me.... Even

during holy communion in church dey will still collect it twice, some will even

come with nylon bag.. Can u imagine

36.Some men always complain that girls are after

their money, my brother do u want her to be after ur life?

.

37.Some men can be stingy,,

REBECCA:- John am pregnant give me the money

for abortion.?

JOHN:- ok how much is the money?

REBECCA:- Just 60k my babe..

JOHN:- Born the baby...I go kill am myself..

38.Knock! Knock! (# kpo !! Kpo!!! Kpo!!!)

Udeme umoh : yes who dey knock?

JW : it is us, Jehovah witness

Udeme umoh : nobody dey house

JW : but you just answered

Udeme umoh : i say nobody dey house, na me their dog bingo dey talk.

39.AFRICAN PARENTS can be so annoying! They will wake you from your sweet sleep only for them to ask you if you are sleeping

40.Welcome to my country Nigeria , where barbers will hang pictures of hairstyles they cannot barb... Naija barber I hail una oo

41. No one is as humble as someone coming to buy on credit. She will be like "Answer

your customers first, I'm not in a hurry"

42.I hate it when going to put offering in

church and one fat girl keeps dancing forward and backwards like Glo network.

Mtcheww

43.The kind money I want to have ehh!

Even if I come late to my traditional marriage, my in-laws will apologise, they will be

like "Our son, we are sorry you came late, it's

our fault, we woke up too early".

Likes and share please.For more jokes check my former posts.

funny write up

Lmao, this is funny. Most of them are actually funny facts.

@Number 2. What would she need an umbrella for again when she's already so wet?

Just laughed out head off. i love it

Jayy10:
Lmao, this is funny. Most of them are actually funny facts.

@Number 2. What would she need an umbrella for again when she's already so wet?

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