I need to get some strategically viable and useful advice on this!

We met online and have been friends for like 3years, the chemistry is so much there and we met physically late last year and since then we've been together and catching fun. The love is so much there and it's mutual, many times we call ourselves deep into the night(2am or more before sleep) even on workdays, and since I ain't getting younger I decided to ask her for a relationship that will lead to marriage, but she said No, she prefer us to be bedmate than go into a serious relationship into marriage. I've been pestering her but she kept saying No, and I'm wondering will she ever say yes? She said she's not ready for it, it's not as if I want to marry her immediately too, I just wanted us to have a serious and understandable relationship of less than two years into my mid-thirties before the marriage, she's in her mid-twenties, but the age differences is not there on our face, we cute together. And I don't want to hurt her bringing in another girl into the scene cos she's this jealous type, she comes to spend weekend with me once or twice in a month and she's not planning to stop. I've been frivolous too during my twenties but I want something serious now, Will she be able to understand that considering the fact that I don't want to hurt her, or should I keep asking her maybe soon she will say yes! Or maybe I should go for someone else that's also interested in a serious relationship while we keep playing our games behind the scene (but how will the new person feels if she founds out) or I should just resist her to friendship, but this will take a big toll on us emotionally, cos we've been deep with each other.

Her refusal might be as a result of past disappointment at the near marriage level.

For me, don't cut the friendship but you can reduce or stop the bedmatics. Show her that your decision to go into a serious relationship with her is not because of the enjoyment and bonding sexual activities create but because you want to be with her and build something meaningful.

So be patient.
Except you have seen another Congo and you want to shine it

I am lost for words. Missimelda01 can you give some wisdom here?

It’s either you hurt her by having a serious relationship with someone else OR forget about marriage till she is ready to walk down the aisle with you. (The second option is not visible because she might be in love with another)
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Don’t even try to do that behind the scene shit, that will be unfair to both girls. You might end up losing and hurting both of em.

She get person wey she wan marry oga


U na her sextoy

she is in her middle twenties which is her whoring stage okay. it is understandable she doesn't want restrictions in hanging out with other blokes as per what her stage in life requires and which is also her prerogative at this stage. Allow her get to 27-29 when she has past this stage and she can start to think of just one man. then will she think about your intentions.

Mood11:
Her refusal might be as a result of past disappointment at the near marriage level.

For me, don't cut the friendship but you can reduce or stop the bedmatics. Show her that your decision to go into a serious relationship with her is not because of the enjoyment and bonding sexual activities create but because you want to be with her and build something meaningful.

So be patient.
Except you have seen another Congo and you want to shine it

yeah! Past disappointment I get! And I'm making her realize I'll never disappoint her!
And of course there are always ladies but I don't want to tour that path again. I want to be straight, serious and faithful.

proclinician:
she is in her middle twenties which is her whoring stage okay. it is understandable she doesn't want restrictions in hanging out with other blokes as per what her stage in life requires and which is also her prerogative at this stage. Allow her get to 27-29 when she has past this stage and she can start to think of just one man. then will she think about your intentions.

unmhm! I get.

CaptMarvel:
I need to get some strategically viable and useful advice on this!

We met online and have been friends for like 3years, the chemistry is so much there and we met physically late last year and since then we've been together and catching fun. The love is so much there and it's mutual, many times we call ourselves deep into the night(2am or more before sleep) even on workdays, and since I ain't getting younger I decided to ask her for a relationship that will lead to marriage, but she said No, she prefer us to be bedmate than go into a serious relationship into marriage. I've been pestering her but she kept saying No, and I'm wondering will she ever say yes? She said she's not ready for it, it's not as if I want to marry her immediately too, I just wanted us to have a serious and understandable relationship of less than two years into my mid-thirties before the marriage, she's in her mid-twenties, but the age differences is not there on our face, we cute together. And I don't want to hurt her bringing in another girl into the scene cos she's this jealous type, she comes to spend weekend with me once or twice in a month and she's not planning to stop. I've been frivolous too during my twenties but I want something serious now, Will she be able to understand that considering the fact that I don't want to hurt her, or should I keep asking her maybe soon she will say yes! [b]Or maybe I should go for someone else that's also interested in a serious relationship[/b]while we keep playing our games behind the scene (but how will the new person feels if she founds out) or I should just resist her to friendship, but this will take a big toll on us emotionally, cos we've been deep with each other.

Of course @ bolded! Do that & mean business. Don't keep entertaining her. Why? Because you'll be giving her what she wants (your attention etc for free, which she doesn't deserve since she doesn't see you as LTR potential), thus selling yourself short. That's wasting your time & allowing yourself to be used for sexual/emotional gratification, until someone "better" comes along. She doesn't want you, then she shouldn't have any access to you. End of. But if you still wanna play, continue, just don't be surprised when you lose.

You can give her time, she might not see any thing interesting in you. Get to know her a little bit better. One man's food is another man's poison.

CaptMarvel:
yeah! Past disappointment I get! And I'm making her realize I'll never disappoint her!
And of course there are always ladies but I don't want to tour that path again. I want to be straight, serious and faithful.

Good!
I wish you the best

Is she from a broken home? She might have phobia for marriage considering past experiences.
I'd suggest you have a sex free conversation with her, let her explain to you why she doesn't want a relationship.

Secondly, she might be in a long distance relationship with someone else who's probably richer and has promised to marry her, so she's trying to play safe.
Whatever it is, don't let her confusion get you confused, since you're ready to settle down she's either in or out.. you'd definitely find someone else who would want the same thing you want.

Cc ladylite

such woman will never marry you and you might as well forget her.... she is just catching some bedroom fun with you. but you aint remotely her type.

missimelda01:
Is she from a broken home? She might have phobia for marriage considering past experiences.
I'd suggest you have a sex free conversation with her, let her explain to you why she doesn't want a relationship.

Secondly, she might be in a long distance relationship with someone else who's probably richer and has promised to marry her, so she's trying to play safe.
Whatever it is, don't let her confusion get you confused, since you're ready to settle down she's either in or out.. you'd definitely find someone else who would want the same thing you want.

Cc ladylite

Awesome.

CAPSLOCKED:
THERE ARE UP TO 100 MILLION OTHER OPTIONS IN NIGERIA ALONE, NOT MENTIONING OTHER COUNTRIES.
WILL YOU KILL YOURSELF BECAUSE OF JUST ONE PERSON?

No, I won't. Just wanna act safely.

I think its best u give her space

she is in a serious relationship with someone else and you are just a temporary sex-.toy

Bro.. There are two options either she is still keeping her options open(waiting for that rich perfect gentleman) while passing time with you

Secondly, She is scared of commitment and afraid she might hurt you at the end of the day.

Just keep your trousers zip.. Desist from talking for long on phone with her and observe.. Let her feel your absence maybe she will consider you serious..

She's pressuring you for a relationship...wahala
Shes refusing a relationship with you but giving you sex.... Still wahala
Shebi you guys normally prefer "no strings attached" to desperate females?
Confused lot.