RisenPhoenix:


As long as a woman is involved, there will always be trust issues. No woman is 100% trustworthy. So forget about your guilt tripping men into not doing a DNA test.

Not even your mom? Oga mi, am not insulting your mom o.

AndSunGorilla:


Not even your mom? Oga mi, am not insulting your mom o.

Why would I think that her being my mum make her different from other women? She is a woman with all the attached strengths and weaknesses that come attached.

RisenPhoenix:


Why would I think that her being my mum make her different from other women? She is a woman with all the attached strengths and weaknesses that come attached.

You are correct. Based on what you said, u should go for a DNA test to confirm who be your pops. You know, no one can be trusted like you said.

AndSunGorilla:


You are correct. Based on what you said, u should go for a DNA test to confirm who be your pops. You know, no one can be trusted like you said.

With what objective in mind? A DNA test now would be useless. I am no longer being sponsored by my father. A DNA test should be done before you start spending on a child.

RisenPhoenix:


With what objective in mind? A DNA test now would be useless. I am no longer being sponsored by my father. A DNA test should be done before you start spending on a child.

To know if you need to change your name now, incase the person you think is your father isn't.

AndSunGorilla:

To know if you need to change your name now, incase the person you think is your father isn't.

Change of name? Even if it was negative, I wouldn't do that. Too much wahala to change all my documents and legal registers.

Anyway, our fathers weren't simps like us. They knew how to control their wives better.

RisenPhoenix:


Change of name? Even if it was negative, I wouldn't do that. Too much wahala to change all my documents and legal registers.

What if the owner of the name doesn't want you to use it nko?

that's the end na, both the child and the wife are out of my house by night fall.

AndSunGorilla:


What if the owner of the name doesn't want you to use it nko?

Then he should do the test himself. It is not useful to me. I will cooperate if he wants a test of course.

RisenPhoenix:


Ok. If you say so.


No. It is not the same. The woman is not expected to support the man or his children from another sexual relationship. So she is not cheated in any way. A wife works hard, from the point of view of a man; even harder than him; but their roles are different.

How are they his children? Does his sperm alone make a baby?

Why is she not expected to support the man from another sexual relationship, and please, tell me what their roles are, especially the work a woman does more than a man.

"Structured" implies the progeny have to be attributed to and provided for by their proper biological fathers; ensured through societal regulation.

Lol... I see how you easily removed the "emotional nurturer" from the equation. So where's her place? What's the impact of her care and nurture, if at the end of the day, when it comes to the most important things like cultural preservation and symbols, etc she's no where to be found? She's in but not in. She work but doesn't work. And in this same insanely stupid structure, some men still flop. They are aware they own a child, yet they run away and neglect them, only for the kids to be grown and need to do important things in their lives but they can't. Because the father is not present. See. It supports them either way. They have the societal regulation to fall back on. Whether they are responsible or not.

When women cheat, they are forcing an innocent man to care for progeny not his own. It is just like when a man sexually uses a woman without providing for her. That is fraud. A man cheating on his wife can have no such fraudulent effect.

Cheating is not always about sex.
Sex doesn't always lead to a baby.
A baby can be cared for by any healthy individual.
And the individual can choose to, willingly.

Oh, also, sex is shared. There is no using and dumping. The woman obliged with her body and so does the man - it comes with no obligation except both parties agree.

All these are founded on an unbalanced system. Why you think a woman is losing something when she sleeps with a man. It doesn't apply anymore!

Because a man should only provide for her in return for obtaining his progeny from her. If multiple men provided for one woman, some would very likely be cheated as she may not have children for them, and there would then be confusion as to who should pay how much, especially when children of uncertain paternity start coming into the picture. It would be totally chaotic. Then again, why would multiple men want to pay to share one woman when there are many adequately equipped women available?

Different eras, different dynamics. But, okay, let's agree on simplifying this whole stuff (marriage and cheating) to having babies alone. Seems that's where you're coming from, but what I don't get is why you turn around again to talk about the emotional contribution of a woman. Which is more important? That a baby is just born and left alone like that, as long as it's surviving or that the baby grows in an all-round way, to be a healthy, useful individual? If it's the latter, then neither the woman (through emotions) nor the man (through money) can achieve that. Single-handedly. The burden of raising a child rest on both parents.

So back to the issue. It's an exchange. It's simple. If she doesn't give birth, then the man does not provide. Customs and traditional rites abound then--- the paternity of a child can definitely be proven. Why would a woman be tied to one man too when there are many adequately equipped men? If this is about the preservation of progeny, then cheating on a woman's part is as beneficial as that of a man's.

I would have believed you if you had presented one thing that actually disproves it.

You said marriage is for the establishment and nurture of a kid, AND the only way to achieve this is a man bringing his seeds and providing for a woman. I am not disputing the reason, I am disagreeing with your proposed method for fulfilling the reason. There are successful people, families outside of the 'man-woman' arrangement. Seeds do not ensure nada about a child's life. Women are providing for themselves. And so many other alternatives.

Anthropologically, marriages have been polygynous throughout time and across an overwhelming majority of cultures. The fact that it was developed independently in such a wideapread manner shows that it is the logically efficient end conclusion of marriage within a social context.

Wrong. Because A works doesn't cancel out the working out of B. There are possible multiple systems which could have been developed for the preservation of the next generation. You'll never know how successful other methods will be if they've never been tried. Due to men's strength, and things related, they came to rule over women. So definitely, in time past, they'll get to control a lot of things. Including how marriage will be. But note that: the setting called for it. The setting/era necessitated that marriage be the way it was. The world's population is exploding, there are myriads of economical and scientifical breakthroughs — there is a need for the system of marriage to change (that is, 'the man provide and woman give birth' formula). I would have suggested marriage be scraped, since we don't need its erstwhile purpose, but we are social beings with a need for connection, the permanency of it and security. So a redefining and rebranding of the institution is needed. Cultures aren't exactly independent though. In the true sense of it. There is a common pool from which all cultures, languages and the evolution of man drew from. Cultures seceded out of existing cultures, and the small group of people move very far away to establish their domain. So things from the previous make it to the new.

If I contend that men are kept out of the system, it is with no bitterness. Men are naturally better at hustling, so yhey do perform much better in the workplace.

I'll take note of the bolded.
Why do you contend something you're not against then? I thought the structure you talked about earlier included biological fathers ?? Men are 'naturally' or 'socially conditioned?' I mean, come on, just look around you at the women working, hustling and excelling in the society and workplace. No, women perform much better (it's been researched). But because from childhood, an average girl's been raised to aspire for marriage and dependency - she's lacking when it comes to building businesses and innovations.

The man is still overwhelmingly responsible for almost all; if not all; of the expenses.

lol. You're living in la-la land. Did you see a thread asking people how they'll share 100k between their parents? Who got the highest money? Find out why for yourself.

Some women are single mothers and do take care of their children on their own. However, it is jot a natural state for a woman and it stresses her exceedingly yo do so.

You're neglecting a lot of factors. A lot. Stress and responsibilities tell on everyone. Being a sole provider affects a man too. There's societal, economical, family, individual, career factors. All these make single-parenting hard.

I am acquainted with quite a few and I've seen the effect of the responsibility on their healths and state of mind.

Where are their "heads?" "Missing men?"

And yes, women are natural gold diggers. I personally do not shame them for that anymore than I shame them for having breasts.

Why then is the society sooo much against her natural disposition? If it can accept men spreading their seeds, why can it not accept a woman benefitting from that?

Conservatism is the solution. Our grandparents had lovely marriages.

Lovely marriages or what they got handed down to them?

Those who cheat would cheat. You do not dismiss the truth because a few men interprete it to support their lifestyle. And I sincerely doubt that a cheating husband would go into detailed analysis about whether or not his philandering habits will affect his wife at the time he's checking into the motel with his side chick.



It is her desire to mate. But her desire for provision and protection is greater. Her innate desire is primarily to mate with one who is best placed to fulfill the function of protection and provision. Any man can mate with just about any female with the right apparatus.

Ditto for a woman @ all you said. Since all men had/have the economic means, let her mate with as many as possible.

They are so extremely rare as to be insignificant. It is only to be expected that some tribes would take wrong turns.

And what are the effects of this "wrong turn?"

Now you are talking.



It is natural and as old as time, but it was socially regulated and kept in balance in times past. Women now have given it full reign. This why they are shamed as gold diggers, because of the blatant openness. But in reality, women have always been so, albeit more secretive about it.

As long as it's natural- then it's to be expected that cheating is equally favourable to her. Why should one be shamed for a natural thing?

It is about to end for the feminist movement. There are literally hundreds of anti feminist women now opposing the extreme radicalism of those women. Even men's movements like the red pill movement, the mgtows and the MRA are based on men understanding they've been cheated. And believing women is on life support. So many cases of men being wrongly accused of rape have come forward that almost no one believes women these days. When the laws are reversed, women would be in a worse position. It will probably happen in our lifetimes; give it time.

Believe in whatever distorted reality you choose to. People are believing women. And feminism is just starting. That's all I care about.

Nothing. Except that it is fraudulent, and it is not sustainable in the long run because women come with expiry dates.

Nothing, finished. Saying a person comes with expiry date is very derogatory and says much about you. As long as I'm taking care of my kids, in whatever legal and moral way I can, I owe no man shit.

It is also risky as you might find yourself as a baby mama forced to provide for the children on your own. And I have already explained to you why polyandry is not logically tenable.

And you somehow think this is my fault, wait? If there weren't stupid men, you think I'll be 'stuck' providing for a kid on my own? A kid I made with a man?

It's not your problem to worry about anyway. I'm all for cheating being good for a woman if it is for a man.

I will still love him or her,it's not the children's fault, it's the mother's. I will keep doing anything I can to help and assist them. But for the mother,out out out straight

chatinent:
"At that moment, a child that is already grow and you don't know that..you mean if I later know that.. I mean, if I notices that I am not the one that born.. I mean if I notice that my wife born but born later notices that you are not my father.. I mean that I am not my father?

It'll be hard for me to handle the situation."

Someone like you will still blame Auto correct for this rubbish grammar you wrote?

It depends. We watch on shows every day, the situation like this.

The man may leave the marriage. The first thing that would come to mind.

But life is too complex to totally predict it. Many factors come to play. Involvement of other children or deep love thing.

Some men would reconcile with the woman again and continue their lives and have other children together.

Marry a religious lady, then you don't need DNA.

Greatzeus:

Someone like you will still blame Auto correct for this rubbish grammar you wrote?

You didn't notice it was in quotes?

RisenPhoenix:


What particular point and why? If you think that a husband who sleeps with someone else affects his wife, how?

Because their actions are theirs to make. They are not going to affect the wife so obviously her permission is not required.

Ehh lawd, you are stone cold, since you are married, you must be nursing the idea of more wives correct? I feel so sad for your wife though.....

Biglittlelois:



Ehh lawd, you are stone cold, since you are married, you must be nursing the idea of more wives correct? I feel so sad for your wife though.....

I am not planning to marry more wives at the moment, but it is probable in the future if I meet the right person (s). Keeping my options open. I can cwrtainly afford to marry and fully support like 2 more at the moment, but no time for new marriages. Let's see, maybe as my business grows and I have a little more free time.

juman:
Marry a religious lady, then you don't need DNA.

Brother, don't kid yourself.

chatinent:

You didn't notice it was in quotes?

I hate to say this, but they're the worse.

juman:
Marry a religious lady, then you don't need DNA.

Lmao, you are very funny.

RisenPhoenix:


I am not planning to marry more wives at the moment, but it is probable in the future if I meet the right person (s). Keeping my options open. I can cwrtainly afford to marry and fully support like 2 more at the moment, but no time for new marriages. Let's see, maybe as my business grows and I have a little more free time.

I hope you've had this discussion with your wife before you married her, so that she won't be shocked when it eventually happen.

Biglittlelois:



I hope you've had this discussion with your wife before you married her, so that she won't be shocked when it eventually happen.

No I still had some remnants of my early Christian values when I married her. But she has been informed of my current position and has seen the logic behind it; or is pretending to (hard to tell when women are pretending). Whatever the case may be, as long as I continue to support her and our joint children to the full extent, she has no cause for complaint about who else I support. I am even helping her to build a house in her name, so she can have a place to herself when I remarry. What more can she possibly need from me?

Thank you for your concern though.

RisenPhoenix:


The man is still overwhelmingly responsible for almost all; if not all; of the expenses. Some women are single mothers and do take care of their children on their own. However, it is jot a natural state for a woman and it stresses her exceedingly yo do so. I am acquainted with quite a few and I've seen the effect of the responsibility on their healths and state of mind. And yes, women are natural gold diggers. I personally do not shame them for that anymore than I shame them for having breasts.

This is new, pls expantiate with proven facts that we are natural gold diggers, I need to know this cos it seems I escaped this natural gift from birth since it has not manifested in all my years on earth.

RisenPhoenix:


No I still had some remnants of my early Christian values when I married her. But she has been informed of my current position and has seen the logic behind it; or is pretending to (hard to tell when women are pretending). Whatever the case may be, as long as I continue to support her and our joint children to the full extent, she has no cause for complaint about who else I support. I am even helping her to build a house in her name, so she can have a place to herself when I remarry. What more can she possibly need from me?

Thank you for your concern though.

You keep talking about support, joint children, having a place to herself, what more can she need you for, do you know what love is? Do you know what emotional attachment is? Do you know it is possible for a man to be emotionally attached to just one woman for the rest of his life? I doubt you truly feel all this for your wife cos if you do, the thought of hurting her by having multiple wives wouldn't come up at all,

And the painful thing is that, you were once a christian, smh, what happened to you?

Biglittlelois:



This is new, pls expantiate with proven facts that we are natural gold diggers, I need to know this cos it seems I escaped this natural gift from birth since it has not manifested in all my years on earth.

To put it politely, women choose partners on the basis of economic potential. That is gold digging in the vernacular.

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/dating/marriage-rates-decline-reason-economically-attractive-men-jobs-income-a9098956.html

https://nypost.com/2019/09/25/women-are-struggling-to-find-men-who-make-as-much-money-as-they-do/

https://www.inc.com/minda-zetlin/marriage-mismatch-husbands-wives-earnings-education-jobs.html

There was even a thread on NL asking women whether they would consider marrying a security man with a take home pay of N18k. They practically universally said no. Tell me that you would if he fit all your other; non economic; criteria.

And trust me, you haven't escaped it. No woman does. It's an evolutionary survival trait from when we were still eating bananas and the hungriest females would show their attractive red bottoms to the most capable alpha males on the biggest banana tree.

Biglittlelois:



You keep talking about support, joint children, having a place to herself, what more can she need you for, do you know what love is? Do you know what emotional attachment is? Do you know it is possible for a man to be emotionally attached to just one woman for the rest of his life? I doubt you truly feel all this for your wife cos if you do, the thought of hurting her by having multiple wives wouldn't come up at all,

And the painful thing is that, you were once a christian, smh, what happened to you?

How am I hurting her? I said I will still fully support her. Smh.

I don't love any woman. I don't believe that romantic love really exists. When you hear of people in love who later kill each other or go through destructive divorces you realise that we are only deceiving ourselves into thinking that the socially lower concepts of lust, infatuation, jealousy, greed and possessiveness are actually a higher concept of love. It's only to make ourselves feel good about what we do with the opposite sex. I don't like self deceit.

As for christianity, it's a long boring story, but refer back to my statement on self-deceit.

Oh. I just came across a thread on true love that you may find interesting...
https://www.nairaland.com/5730259/true-love-just-say-mind

Omar09:


I hate to say this, but they're the worse.

Sure they are. I was quoting sb. I contacted you via email to buy data but you didn't respond.

RisenPhoenix:


How am I hurting her? I said I will still fully support her. Smh.

I don't love any woman. I don't believe that romantic love really exists. When you hear of people in love who later kill each other or go through destructive divorces you realise that we are only deceiving ourselves into thinking that the socially lower concepts of lust, infatuation, jealousy, greed and possessiveness are actually a higher concept of love. It's only to make ourselves feel good about what we do with the opposite sex. I don't like self deceit.

As for christianity, it's a long boring story, but refer back to my statement on self-deceit.

Oh. I just came across a thread on true love that you may find interesting...
https://www.nairaland.com/5730259/true-love-just-say-mind

@boldened explains it all, but surely there must have been something you saw in your wife that made you marry her,

Lol the picture in that thread is enough to deduce what she really wants from the old man, it doesnt prove anything.

Biglittlelois:



@boldened explains it all, but surely there must have been something you saw in your wife that made you marry her,

She was physically attractive, well read and I perceived that she would be a good mother. I was not wrong on any count.

Biglittlelois:

Lol the picture in that thread is enough to deduce what she really wants from the old man, it doesnt prove anything.

All relationships are some version of this or the other. This particular relationship only exhibits the reality more obviously. Had it been that he was a little younger or more handsome, some women would have cast doubt on the gold digging aspect and theorised that they might really love each other. Lol. Of such pictures is 'love' made.

chatinent:

Sure they are. I was quoting sb. I contacted you via email to buy data but you didn't respond.

No vex sir.. Let me send you my number via email so that anytime you want data flash so that I will be alert via email.

Guys: Never , ever be caught off guard.

You hear it in the news, until it happens to you.

There is a reason i keep Medical friends, i wont wait too long before i know if the chid is truly mine.

my 2 cents#