Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

Keep fooling yourself. Your eyes will be clear soon.

[quote author=Ineedtoheal post=87208362]Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.[/quot mle]

You are a fool!!!

Ineedtoheal:

Thanks sis. I'm praying for the will power to do that. it's as if I am powerless when it comes to him.

The earlier you wakeup the better for you.
Remember to go for HIV screening.

Ineedtoheal:

Thanks sis. I'm praying for the will power to do that. it's as if I am powerless when it comes to him.

Send me a DM, let's chat on WhatsApp. Let's see if I can engage you to cause a distraction. So that you can move on.

If you are not careful with this guy, you will be 40 and still be hoping he will be serious with you one day.

From your story , love has made you painfully stupid. Don't worry u will return to your sense when he sends u his wedding invitation

All I can say is WA!..my sister WA!waaa Wawa! Stop emotionally stressing ursef biko! Stop wasting ur time on DAT d!ck, there r better d!cos out there biko!!

It's simple... You know your shortcomings but you can't help it... Like a drug addict who wished to change but can't.

One of the remedies is... Replacement. Get 2 guys with great humor to distract you

Secondly, be intentional, break the jinx, be fcked by another guy

Thirdly, go on vacation and ensure you get busy with more demanding chores.

You know the truth ,your instinct won't lie ,...seriously honestly you are weird ,...indirectly must he tell you you are a fool before you give yourself brain

Run for you dear life my sister. I know men are not perfect people, we make mistake and have our flaws but this is just too bitter to swallow.

Soul Tie

Ineedtoheal:

Thanks sis. I'm praying for the will power to do that. it's as if I am powerless when it comes to him.

you still have time now to leave with the pieces that are left of you.

But, if it's is more heartbreak and divorce that u prefer, go ahead.

The sign is their for u to see. You that is still with him, why are you still with him for? for him to propose so you would say yes Abi because you think he's attitude will change when married..

use your tongue to count your teeth now o.

EliteDude:


God bless you. Its ladies like the OP that makes this thing so cheap, and one thing i dread more than any other thing is marrying a fairly usedddddddddd product. Damn....

lol, this is no longer a fairly used product. 5yrs. common, This is a Nigerian badly used product. Third or fourth hand.

Ineedtoheal:

No he's not the juju type. regardless what he did to me, I can't speak ill of him. but then I rule the prayer part out. I will give it a try this time.

Omo this man Juju too strong on you ooo...
Even when they're telling you its Juju, you're here arguing...

Go to a strong praying church

I can't believe that you are too blind to see the handwriting on the wall,at your age you should define any relationship you are getting into,forget all the wasted years and run for your life now because the guy won't marry you.how I wish I can counsel you privately.

happney65:
Nigga is the MVP..Just fucccking the pussy dey go...

Sadly,he's not doing himself any good coz he doesn't factor in the likelihood of any woman he ends up with having a delayed birth. Imagine having his first baby at mid or late 40s,after years of sexual splendour

sisisioge:
Chai! Biko leave him alone and go find yours! That guy is a no gooder for you biko. Before you know it, he will turn you into " I dated a guy for 10yrs"! I did baby...so take it from a veteran and run

You are still hurting after that Jakandeola guy left u and married another woman. It's well.

Hmm, so people still meet GoOd girls, poster, i am 28yrs, i work for the feds, i am Yoruba, i love playing volleyball and scrabble. I'm melancholic. I sent you a mail. I'd love us to get Acquainted. I reside in the Country's capital. I recently moved there.

Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

Ineedtoheal:

Funny enough I am not close to ugly. I am beautiful and light skinned.I can't post my picture here lol. My skin colour alone attracts people to me. My supervisors where I did my IT still calls me till date. both married and single. A lot of guys don't talk to me again coz I have cancelled numerous appointments with them. I look younger than my age even. I am independent and come from a good background. Not like I can't get another man but then I don't have feelings for them.

Please stick to your man. Single men have a lot of problems to deal with already. Do not add to it with ur baggage. I believe ur man will change, just give him five or more years to do that, if he doesn't propose, please remain single. Do not add to the problems of single men.
Shalom!

DominusPrime:

Fountainofyouth read the last line of this comment. Hope you are beginning to see that I was saying the truth earlier...by the time you get the message I'm trying to pass across you'd realise I'm not a fvckboy. I just need to teach you sense cos u have little of it...kisses...

Who damaged you like this? Is it Big......? Love is not a grand deception, love is beautiful if it is true, but that doesnt mean we shouldn't love without sense and logically, the case of Op is not love but a blind need to belong to a particular person cos she feels she can't get someone better, there are people experiencing complete true love in their relationship and marriage.

loshybab:

Sadly,he's not doing himself any good coz he doesn't factor in the likelihood of any woman he ends up with having a delayed birth. Imagine having his first baby at mid or late 40s,after years of sexual splendour

Story..and you think he will marry his age mate?Yeye

Funkaish:
madam you need serious prayers...use your brain to think and not your heart, I was once in a wrong relationship and I love this guy so much with all my heart, but I knew he doesn't love me because he has numerous girlfriends, he is rich and goodlooking. I saw all the red flags and I talked to myself seriously, I was young around 19--20 years old in 200 level. I prayed to God to give me the grace to cut off this relationship and he should bring my hubby to me. The next day I broke up with him...he acted like he was hurt for few days. I blocked him on all angles. Few weeks later my husband came...I didn't like him because he was not too handsome, he's appearance his not encouraging, he was not rich but he was in final year in the same university. I asked God to give me a sign if this guy was my hubby...God gave me..we started the relationship even though I didn't like him..but this guy loved me like crazy, he treated me like a queen, taught me, shares his plan and ideas. He has financial difficulties I supported him...in his final year..I grew to love him...7 years later the story has changed...we are married with two kids we both are working,He still loved me like crazy till date... Although he is not perfect but he is better than some men, doesn't womanise ànd Godfearing. So my dear..my best advise for you is to start a new relationship and forget this guy. I beg you..receive sense

Wow

happney65:


Story..and you think he will marry his age mate?Yeye

Calm down! It's not about his spouse,but him.
Would he not want to have some nice time and space with his own child? He can only do that with natural energy not the drug-induced one he might subject himself to at 50s.

loshybab:

Calm down! It's not about his spouse,but him.
Would he not want to have some nice time and space with his own child? He can only do that with natural energy not the drug-induced one he might subject himself to at 50s.

And what is that if he starts having children in his 50's?hunnn?you human beings and so-called time frame..whatever he wants to do he can and should do it..it is his fuvcccking life..Habaaa!

Ellacindy:
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Sharp shooter, u better be a good person to her oo

You have a fibble mindset

deltateam:


Call you for what? To take more advantage, abi?

Nigerians and there low mentality. Two ppl have chatted me up privately on relationship matters, and you are here reasoning like a loser. You can as well tell her to call u or chat u up so u encourage and advice her. Stop being fibble minded

xest:
Nigerians and there low mentality. Two ppl have chatted me up privately on relationship matters, and you are here reasoning like a loser. You can as well tell her to call u or chat u up so u encourage and advice her. Stop being fibble minded

Didn't she tell you that she prefers to be anonymous? Can't you respect her privacy Mr chatter.

deltateam:


Didn't she tell you that she prefers to be anonymous? Can't you respect her privacy Mr chatter.

You just a hopeless and jobless poker. Go get a life.

happney65:


And what is that if he starts having children in his 50's?hunnn?you human beings and so-called time frame..whatever he wants to do he can and should do it..it is his fuvcccking life..Habaaa!

In the existence of any creature,I do not need to hammer the significance of time to you,you should know that,but in case you don't,I implore you to start making babies when you click 50,only then will you trully understand humans and the so called time-frame

Ineedtoheal:
I know coz I have a man that all these years I have been dating this guy, has not given up. He says one day I will come to my senses and come to him. I even get tired of his complaints and calls. He came for my sister's burial even without me inviting him. he only saw the poster on my facebook wall. he dropped everyone that came from my village that day in town, took my mom home. he's ever ready to do anything for me. he's 31 now, a senior colleague when I was in year 1. the thing is I don't love him. maybe my problem is spiritual coz I tend to love the wrong people.

Do you know what is called psychotherapist


www.nairaland.com/attachments/4108585_img20151221wa020_jpegffa407ba2efc86a3ddb75a6084d3c6aa

Ineedtoheal:
I never misplaced them in the first place ok. Anyways enough of the mention. I won't reply your mention again. I don't think you are any different from the lover of mine.

You need the tough love that healthserve is giving you, to help release yourself from the bondage of a loveless relationship.
Take heed young woman before it is too late for your liberation.

Jesus Christ Temple Ministry, Km 5, DSC Road, Opposite Vita Foam, Ebrumede, Warri, Delta State, Nigeria. Visit our YouTube page https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCPFFvkE-KGpR37qJgvYriJg/featured to view past programs.
But, let me quickly notify you about the church rules in case you are visiting.
For men - Please, no roughian hair, no low waist or sag trousers, no jewelry et.
For women - No make-up, jewelry, weavon and attachments, trousers, sleeveless clothes, open breast, painting etc. You come natural and God will certainly visit you.
Be guided and be prepared to hear the undiluted word of God. God bless you

jbhitler:
where is your church brother?