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I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage - Family (9) - Nairaland

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Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by efewizey(m): 11:08pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

So when is the break up ceremony? I am ready o and can handle you sharp mouth. I have a mute button in my head. Contact me if you wanna settle
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by NWABUKA007(m): 11:09pm On Mar 06, 2020
It is well with you my sister


Repent and ask for forgiveness from your heavenly father

Meet your pastor for counselling and prayers
Then move on from the man
That should help
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by mastermaestro(m): 11:10pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

Thanks sis. I'm praying for the will power to do that. it's as if I am powerless when it comes to him.

I know how it feels like. But try harder. However, please don't make the mistake of freeing yourself by running into the thorny arms of an(other) idiot. Pray about it. You will find strength when you go on your knees and ask GOD to embolden you to walk away from this unfruitful venture.
Best wishes. smiley
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by betterpikinn: 11:11pm On Mar 06, 2020
[s]
Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.
[/s]
I don't give a shìt about you because you're a liar and a pretender. More so, you broke the rule by opening a new account which is a crime here .

Please deal with your shǐt by yourself.

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 11:12pm On Mar 06, 2020
Sixfeetbelle:


Did I forget to mention I was being sarcastic? wink
You can't be trusted.. I know your type tongue
"Baby, I love you" undecided
Na lie!!! shocked shocked shocked

Sarcastic Belle!
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by bigpicture001: 11:12pm On Mar 06, 2020
Practical ways to forget ur spouse

1. Never try to know ur partners no. Of hand

2. Wen ur convinced ur done.: delete him from all social media nd wat sap nd ur call log.

3. Don't try to b friends cuz DTS how ppl get back for at least a year wen d wound heals

4. Get busy

5. Avail urself to new persons.

6. Remove all his pix from sight....u can take it to a very far away relatives...

7. Don't answer his calls

8. Don't compare ur new guy with him in anyway

9. Don't try to discuss him with his friends or ur friends

10. Get laid if u can.....not to Mk him special anymore.

11. Never listen to I know it too much advice of ur being childish by locking him out....

With these,u will b healed in three months

3 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Aladdin1(m): 11:13pm On Mar 06, 2020
since you still love him.i would advice you to seek the face of God concerning this matter.or go and meet a counsellor or a genuine man of God who would give you counsel on what to do.dont just leave him like that.i see you have a future with him God may want you to help.and if you do leave him.your journey would be far and take long to get to the promise land maritally.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Afromentalist: 11:14pm On Mar 06, 2020
@Ineedtoheal,

A fool at 40 is a fool forever. Take your things and comot from that relationship. You are just 27, you still have a shot.

2 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Greenfit(m): 11:14pm On Mar 06, 2020
This is a very familiar scenerio. I can't blame you for loving him too much. It's good to stay around someone you love n hoping for the best. But for how long? I guess He doesn't want to start you because you don't have all he craves for. He might later settle for you just to manage you at the end sha. But this is my own stand. He will continue cheating...Can you hold on to that? He will. I think you should look at the love again and have a rethink. Left to me, leave him n move on. He can't boast of you amidst people...Is that the kind of person you are forcing yourself to marry? And why do you have to be pushing marriage self. Open your eye n see the good in other suitors n pick the suitable one for you...Better still, take a chill pill out of any relationship for now...You will get ready to date later...Best wishes.

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Chomsky1967(f): 11:15pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

No one says it must lead to marriage oga. why keep what you don't need? If You really don't see yourself in few years time with someone, why waste their time? did you really read all I wrote? coz if you did, you wouldn't have make this comment.
I have begged him on several occasions to end things with me if he knows we don't have a future together but he refused. Mind you, it's not just a Nigerian thing. you guys are so quick in calling Nigerian girls out.
What does this even mean? You can't take a walk?

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by NgwalandAbia(m): 11:17pm On Mar 06, 2020
and you are there asking questions OK wait till amataaaku fall on you

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by madridsta007(m): 11:17pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

He is still living the "baby boy's life".
I am sure his attitude changed when he got the job at the University. There are two things that happens when boys who were previously broke, hit a good job jackpot. It is either they make concrete plans with dates et al and marry the girl they are with OR delay and keep her while they are trying to make up for lost years of frolicking with other ladies.

He works in a University where he sees much more beautiful and easy-to-get girls. He is busy living the baby boys life- at 40 years, not thinking about marriage, it is safe to conclude that he is.

I wouldnt talk about the handwriting you have seen on the wall- those were very obvious signs! Make up your mind and BREAK up with him. You are still in your 20's, luckily for you. With your decent character, you can easily find someone else.
When he sees you have broken up with him, two things will happen. It is either, he comes and begs you with a ring/wedding dates/etc OR he ignores you. I suspect he will do the former. At that point, it is for you to make a decision. When you do, NEVER make a decision driven by feelings or love or emotions. Let it be by what you see and good old logic.

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by aylive02(m): 11:17pm On Mar 06, 2020
You don't need a prophet to tell you to pack and go grin
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by ugbarreta(m): 11:17pm On Mar 06, 2020
Oh my God! To be honest, u r in so many ways my dream girl. If ur story is true, I wish there is a way we can exchange contact here privately. But sincerely speaking that guy is not meant for u. You deserve som1 better. I would advice u to quit the relationship.

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by L1lma(f): 11:18pm On Mar 06, 2020
Jus give me his phn no make I epp u talk to am
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by BigIyanga: 11:18pm On Mar 06, 2020
Why do women like to compete for unavailable item? Guy is unavailable and u r competing for his attention? Pls take ur L and go find another person. U sound too needy as GF.. Wearing burial uniform when u r neither family by birth nor by mariage?

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by aspirebig: 11:20pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.


My take is simple.

Follow your heart.

Some people that met their partner, in five years already have 2 kids. This I don't understand.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by madridsta007(m): 11:21pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:

Thanks sis. I'm praying for the will power to do that. it's as if I am powerless when it comes to him.

Soul tie that has come from sex.
You have to spiritually break the soul tie or else it would be very hard to leave him.
I wish you all the best.

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by ranksz: 11:22pm On Mar 06, 2020
Na you know wetin you dey find
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by dheolexaone(f): 11:22pm On Mar 06, 2020
My dear, if u r still looking for 1001 ways to be in this man life is like signing urself to a lifetime emotional torture.

B4 u forget it, sit him down and let him see why ur future can't work together. U don't force urself on a man to get married even at d extent of ur happiness here that the man in question is not giving u.
Ur man does not respect and thinks he can always maneuver ur heart.
He didnt value the time to spend quality time wt u during ur father's burial... Even ur father in heaven will denounce u as his child if u go on to marry that kind of man.

Proceed, wait n marry him n see him bringing gals n other thorns of emotional stress to ur matrimonial bed without respecting u.

You are on ur own.
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by cybernaut(m): 11:24pm On Mar 06, 2020
Look what you are saying as if you are smart or nawa oo. You support him financially during his father's burial and on your own burial he did nothing but you said earlier that the relationship is 50-50. Can't you see you are not truthful to yourself? Just delete that gold-digger you called your love out of your view immediately. That guy hate you with passion because you force yourself in and according to you you easily got angry. To reveal a secret to you gentle guys dislike easily angered person because I live such gentle life too. Gently guys hate harch/easily angered person. Honestly, that guy don't like you at all and will never marry you simple because he is still searching for women of his dream and once he get her you are fired without regret.

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by enemyofprogress: 11:26pm On Mar 06, 2020
I just ate people coming here to lament as if they don't have brains to advice themselves on personal issues

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Oyerinde16(m): 11:27pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. help.
Chat me up I have a question to ask u O. Eight. I. Sis. S. S. 4. S. O. I. 8
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by DedeNkem: 11:27pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

When I saw, "He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change". I stopped reading because I knew immediately, you're a m*oron!

If you love yourself, dump him NOW! Don't waste your life on that jerk!

2 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by hakeem4(m): 11:27pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!



Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
This isn’t bad

2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.
He had many numerous girlfriends that when he’s with them he doesn’t pick your calls? It means you’re just one of those numerous ladies.

He always apologise and you forgive him all the time ? once a cheat always a cheat

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.
My sister it means he doesn’t see a future with you

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.
He’s still searching While he wants to waste your time grin, anyhow you’ve still got age on your side, since you’re still in your twenties.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.
This isn’t bad

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.
grin To be honest, I feel he’s just using you to while away time, cause I don’t see him getting married to either of the 3 of you. Except he’s testing you guys to see who has good character.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.
This is funny grin

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.
I feel he’s just wasting your time


9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.
He would change Why do you think he’d change his behaviour because of you ?

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.
Confused that what



His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

From my analysis, I can deduce that the man isn’t ready for marriage, he’s wasting your time, he’s a cheat and he doesn’t see you in his future

Please gather some cojones and move on

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Miraclesky11: 11:28pm On Mar 06, 2020
Any man that needs 5years to make up his mind is just playing with your heart. My dear just walk away and move on. Your good deeds will fetch you a decent man.

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by babadee1(m): 11:29pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

That guy is never going to marry you but I guess you know that already. What you need to do now is to find someone new as soon as possible and move on with your life. Delete his contact info and block him on your social media. Good luck to you and your new man.

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by jaxxy(m): 11:30pm On Mar 06, 2020
Ineedtoheal:
Hi Famlanders, Please I need your advice. I beg you all to save a sister. I have to bring this here coz I know it's where I will get wonderful contributions. Again, I am using this new account coz I have friends and customers here. I don't want to blow my cover. Please this is real and not fiction. This will be quite lengthy, please bear with me.

I met this guy in 2013 when I was in year one. It was not a steady relationship coz we barely call nor see so I didn't take him serious. And whenever we see, it was always at one friends house or another. I accused him of being married but he vehemently denied it. Later on I figured out he had accommodation issue after he lost his job. He later rented a house when he got another job with one of our prestigious federal universities here in Nigeria and that was when things became serious (kinda).

We became very serious around 2016 that is why I count it as 5 years instead of 7. But then during one of my visits, I was sleeping in the room when I overheard him talking to someone but the only thing that caught my attention was when he said "I don't even have a girlfriend". Though I didn't confront him, but I thought about it deeply.

Two nights ago, I had a dream where he was getting married to another lady. I was crying while he was still saying he loves me but can't marry me. I confronted him yesterday, he said I am pressurizing him to marry me that was after he first asked what will happen if we don't end up together. He hasn't told me where the relationship is leading to after 5 years. We have been living for the moment. Just for the moment!

Few info about the relationship
1) He will be 40 this November while I am 27.
2. He has always had numerous girlfriends that when he's with them, he doesn't pick my calls though he always apologizes and he's trying his best this year.

3. He always send pictures of other women to his friends to let them know they are the people he wish to marry but never has he sent mine. Though he claims he's not doing it again.

4. From the look of things he's still searching while he wants to have me all to himself. Maybe a second option since the others are not accepting him and I love him foolishly.

5. The relationship is 50 -50 .We spend on each other. He believes it's the woman's duty to do all the house chores but not the man's duty to take care of the woman.

6. On his Fathers burial last year, 3 of his girlfriends came (me inclusive) and we all wore the burial uniform. Together, we served his guests even when we realized we are dating same man. His neighbors were giggling and gossiping but we all decided to be matured and work together.

7. When my sister that raised me died, he didn't come for the burial. his reason was he had supervision that day in school,same person that calls his colleague to cover for him during exam supervision so he could do other things. He also didn't send me any money but he questioned me for not giving him any money for his Father's burial. Even when I paid him excess for the burial uniform. I know why I did that. Mind you, he has asked me before if he can give one of his ex 10k during her Father's burial which I agreed and he sent her the money.

8. I have rejected some suitors who were willing to marry me coz of him. Though he has never encouraged me to accept any of them. In fact he gets angry hearing that another man is coming close to me.

9. He doesn't call often, I do more of the calling though he always return my calls. He can stay for days without calling unless I call. I know I have been the one holding the relationship coz I thought he will change.

10. Sine 2017 till last year, all I did was forgive him coz I love him. He keeps bringing new / different ladies into the picture. I have gone through a lot of emotional stress. He keeps asking me to stay that he loves me but he's confused.

His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

Never be in s relationship and blank out other good people completely talkless of when ure currently dating a jackass. I mean how stupid and ridiculous does one get? I don't even blame the guy cos he only being what he is, I blame u for staying and tolerating rubbish and nonesense when u see it clearly over and over again.

He doesn’t have same ideology about dating marriage with u.

He didn't show up or care about ur sisters passing who was like s mother to u. That's absurd and almost unforgivable. That was when u shud hv been planning ur exit.

U when for his on family event and meet 2 of his gf's and u all became a laughing stock and yet u stayed and endured? I'm not saying u shud let sm thing slide bt there a point it makes no sense cos the person is involved with is completely stupid or wrong for u.

Let him go and stay on ur own or see othrr people gradually. He might even come back to woo u and propose bt don't accept if that happens untill there's genuine interests and balanced respect and affection. If he doesn't then move on swiftly. U dogged a bullet trust me.

2 Likes

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 11:30pm On Mar 06, 2020
This is fake mumu stupid idiots
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Bragalane: 11:30pm On Mar 06, 2020
You are not in love you are just not wise.

Ineedtoheal:

1 Like

Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by Nobody: 11:31pm On Mar 06, 2020
[quote author=hakeem4 post=87228186]


This isn’t bad


He had many numerous girlfriends that when he’s with them he doesn’t pick your calls? It means you’re just one of those numerous ladies.

He always apologise and you forgive him all the time ? once a cheat always a cheat


My sister it means he doesn’t see a future with you


He’s still searching While he wants to waste your time grin, anyhow you’ve still got age on your side, since you’re still in your twenties.


This isn’t bad


grin To be honest, I feel he’s just using you to while away time, cause I don’t see him getting married to either of the 3 of you. Except he’s testing you guys to see who has good character.


This is funny grin

I feel he’s just wasting your time


He would change Why do you think he’d change his behaviour because of you ?


Confused that what



His good side: He's understanding, motivates me to do my best, he doesn't hit me, he is gentle.

Me on the other hand is sometimes stubborn though very faithful coz I love him to a fault. I easily get angry but forgives easily. When I'm angry I talk so much but I don't abuse him. He is simply the cause of all my anger. He always say I am very understanding, a good girl, drama free but yet he doesn't want to marry me and won't let me go too. I have never involved a third party in our relationship except my late sister who said she wish I will walk away from the relationship because I love the guy more, that it won't end well. All my friends thinks I have a perfect relationship because I don't discuss him with them.

Back to last night, I told him I won't call him again coz he said I am pressurizing him to marry me. The truth is I have seen the hand writing on the wall, not today but two years ago but I keep going back. Please I need advice on how not to go back again. The love he proclaims for me is not enough for him to marry. I have wasted enough time already. Maybe hearing the raw truth here will help.

From my analysis, I can deduce that the man isn’t ready for marriage, he’s wasting your time, he’s a cheat and he doesn’t see you in his future

Please gather some cojones and move on
Re: I Have Been With Him For 5 Years, No Sign Of Marriage by recentelder(m): 11:33pm On Mar 06, 2020
My dear, the guy is playing on your emotion.He cannot travel on a journey of marriage wt you.If @40, he can settle wt you and for you, then he does nt value your santity.DO NOT GO WITH A PLAYER BUT MARRY SOMEONE WHO CAN PLAY AND UNDERSTAND YOUR VISION.

2 Likes

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