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My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by Mkpotu(m): 7:43am On Dec 25, 2010
The Law is simple on that, you cannot build something on nothing! It is a ground for divorce (quitting the marriage), once a marriage is built on deceit & fraud, it means that the marriage has irretrievably broken down. And I believe the church's doctrine will go the same direction.

I think its just like somebody being an AS, while you are AS too, BUT THE PERSON LIED TO YOU THAT SHE IS AA, such marriage too is built on deceit.
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by tunde247: 8:41am On Dec 25, 2010
please forgive her abeg,my wife is worse dated 8 yrs and i am just finding out somethingz about here ,she lies every sec
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by emmatok(m): 10:49am On Dec 25, 2010
Mkpotu:

The Law is simple on that, you cannot build something on nothing! It is a ground for divorce (quitting the marriage), once a marriage is built on deceit & fraud, it means that the marriage has irretrievably broken down. And I believe the church's doctrine will go the same direction.

I think its just like somebody being an AS, while you are AS too, BUT THE PERSON LIED TO YOU THAT SHE IS AA, such marriage too is built on deceit.

I AGREE WITH YOU.

But some people criticizing the POSTER cannot see what your saying here.

ISSUE HERE IS NOT AGE OR CHILD-BEARING .

She forged her birth cert and other document relating to her birth. That is a big fraud.

Do you people know that this will affect the GUY'S career in the future?

The GUY has two options here.

1. GO get a divorce.

2. Go and correct those forged documents at the marriage registry and church.

SHALOM.
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by pareto(m): 11:12am On Dec 25, 2010
you didnt do your assignment very well my guy.
she wanted to have you and she did. Anyway, God will answer ur prayers but dont do anything funny!
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by GeorgeD1(m): 11:25am On Dec 25, 2010
women will never cease to amaze me!
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by shilling(f): 1:01pm On Dec 25, 2010
Marital counselling . . . to heal the hurt, and talk through your issues constructively. Good luck, all hope isn't lost.
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by Nobody: 2:37pm On Dec 25, 2010
I once walked out of a r/ship just becos of a month age difference! Marriage is diffnt. U fell n love wit her wen u dint know her age. Now u know, so ignore it &forgive&love her more. Then u both focus attention on d fruit of d womb u are asking God for.
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by Nektar(f): 6:14pm On Dec 25, 2010
Stick wt her coz she cn still conceive.
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by Ibomade1: 7:00pm On Dec 25, 2010
You guys are already married so try and focus on how to make it work. I understand that you are disappointed but I believe that you loved her in the first place and that is why you married her and 36 is not too old to conceive
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by jamaicangi(f): 8:21pm On Dec 25, 2010
Several people have already given good advice. I will review and add.

First of I agree that ur wife was wrong. I had a guy lie about his age and I was angry but that was just one date. I cannot imagine if it were after marriage- although that would be impossible for me.
1. Get yourself checked. I am a doctor and countless men blame their wives when it is them that has low sperm count or some other problem. Many men have reduced fertility.
2. Someone described some advice for when you come together. Although it sounded vulgar it is correct. Try those methods.
3. Her age is not a factor. Most of the women I know are professionals and have babies in 30s and 40s. The last 6 babies that I know were born tomothers in their 30s. That is still young. The drop in fertility is not significant until the 40s. It is like losing 10 hairs from your scalp. And Black women are less likely to lose fertility with age. Mek her eat plenty yam!
4. I don't understand how u got married without signing any official papers or encountering any of her documents. It makes me wonder about the story.
5. If u are eyeing young girls u r already worse than the wife. To lust after a woman when u r married is adultery. To lust after a student when u r 33 is disgusting too. Would u want ur daughter age 19 with a man ur age? Two wrongs do not make right.
6. Pray together and discuss with the family. Make sure she is not hiding anything else. Make sure that u remain honorable and do nothing wrong. No lusting or violence. Marriage is for keeps. Do not be like the Esterners who get divorced for any little thing. Make sure ur marriage documents are legal and have the correct age. Go to check your fertility. Go to church and move on. Release the anger and the stress. That will make things worse.
And if u do not love her now u never loved her at all,

1 Like

Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by GeorgeD1(m): 8:44pm On Dec 25, 2010
big deal! poster, go fire up that student. younger is better! grin
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by sochan: 1:32pm On Dec 26, 2010
Sorry oh, but I am an advocate of asking serious questions before marriage including making necessary enquiries, probably if yu did, this would have been discovered. That said, this marriage is by deceit, and therefore there are very fair grounds for divorce, this is simply entrampment. But speak to your marriage councellor first.

Goodluck
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by ifyjay: 4:05pm On Dec 26, 2010
Quote from faraday62

I am so disappointed in my wife. we have been married for 2 months now. i always thought i was about 2 years older than her  only to find out that she is actually 3 years older after a year  of marriage. I am very disgusted because under no circumstances did i think i will marry a lady that much older than me. I told her that age was a big criteria before we got married. Its not fair that she should do this to me. We dated for 3 years before we tied the knot . I am already 33 and she is actually about 36 by her confession. We are having problems conceiving that's why she confessed. Doctors say female fertility drops with age. Fertility even drops further after 35. I am really disgusted with her. I feel all the love I had evaporating. I really don't think I can continue with the marriage. Its just too early for a separation. I hate any thing based on lies. Please folks advise me cos i am currently looking a younger girls still in the university.

So what?am sure u have never lied to her.there is something called FORGIVENESS. u are just looking for excuses to chase university girls.
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by Metalgoong(m): 4:43pm On Dec 26, 2010
@OP

Please divorce her and run for your life now it is too early on your part. . . If she was able to conceal this big lie for so long, who knows how many grievous lies you might still uncover.
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by LaconicINC: 5:55pm On Dec 26, 2010
You have to forgive her bro! Even the prodigal son was forgiven,u realy have to accept her back,show her agape love,i want to believe u are a Christian if nt nw is the best time to run to God for salvation.Make it work,u can do it!
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by Bright2(m): 10:10pm On Dec 26, 2010
Chief,you don buy you don buy am oo with your money ,except you want to buy another one making them two in one house which is fast way to the grave. undecided keep on striking it will enter one day if pregnancy is the problem.Children are gift from God, ask and you shall receive. The mistake has already been made,correct it with understanding and not disunity. She might make you happier tomorrow and don't forget in refference to your post you waisted 3 years from her youthful age by dating her for 3 years before marriage. To me,she's not too old for marriage . Don't be angry that much forgive her and settle down all is well.
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by Bright2(m): 10:11pm On Dec 26, 2010
Chief,you don buy you don buy am oo with your money ,except you want to buy another one making them two in one house which is fast way to the grave. undecided keep on striking it will enter one day if pregnancy is the problem.Children are gift from God, ask and you shall receive. The mistake has already been made,correct it with understanding and not disunity. She might make you happier tomorrow and don't forget in refference to your post you waisted 3 years from her youthful age by dating her for 3 years before marriage. To me,she's not too old for marriage . Don't be angry that much forgive her and settle down all is well.
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by lockup: 10:19pm On Dec 26, 2010
guy ! nA 4 beter n 4 worst. age is not a barrier pls
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by jasman1: 12:36am On Dec 27, 2010
after dating for 3yrs you did not find much about her, suddenly you're beginning to find out these things after just 2months of marriage. what a wicked man you are. most people, man or woman are not comfortable discussing their age. did i hear you right, 2months? . you're at the point of beginning to plan your long life together, a time of really enjoying each other. its unfortunate what she's getting after 2months of marrying you is your deadly poison, called stress. imagine your own sister, after just 2months of marriage, constantly being reminded of her age, lie and not able to conceive. how in the world can she ever conceive under that kind of stress. not able to conceive is a two way street and so, it could be you. you need a good dr, 36yrs is nothing. she can still feel all the rooms with babies as soon as she start feeling like a loved wife and your stress kept to yourself, and i wish you luck
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by realcele: 12:28pm On Dec 27, 2010
humm looks like you have already advice yourself. By the way have you asked her for her real age this time. You know people have all kinds of age, official or employment, immigration, medical, real age etc. So she could be right
depending what state of mind she is at the times you asked. People decrease up to fifteen years from the normal or real age to get around immigration or schloorship rules. You know the type of lie termed white lie.So have a laugh nothing is new in this world. Na you wear your shoe so u know where it pain
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by otokx(m): 1:56pm On Dec 27, 2010
I love the He's in kontro part.
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by question(m): 2:36pm On Dec 27, 2010
faraday62:

I am so disappointed in my wife. we have been married for 2 months now. i always thought i was about 2 years older than her  only to find out that she is actually 3 years older after a year  of marriage. [/b]I am very disgusted because under no circumstances did i think i will marry a lady that much older than me. I told her that age was a big criteria before we got married. Its not fair that she should do this to me. We dated for 3 years before we tied the knot . I am already 33 and she is actually about 36 by her confession. We are having problems conceiving that's [b]why she confessed. Doctors say female fertility drops with age. Fertility even drops further after 35. I am really disgusted with her. I feel all the love I had evaporating. I really don't think I can continue with the marriage. Its just too early for a separation. I hate any thing based on lies. Please folks advise me cos i am currently looking a younger girls still in the university.
How are you sure she is still not lying? Because she confessed does not mean she is telling the whole truth this time around.
Hope you will not be surprised if she re-confesses again that she is actually 7 years older than you.  LOL.

My brother no worry, It happened to Adam,  In the beginning, in the bible Eve deceived Adam to eat the forbidden fruit. That was the beginning of deception in marriage. But adam did not divorce Eve. Their marriage continued after being banished from the garden of eden(I can only guess how Adam felt).

A man woke up one day after about 20 years of marriage only to find out that he is not the biological father of 2 of his 3 grown-up children.
The wife confessed when medical test exposed her. shocked

Abeg, So just forgive her and move on.
Thats marriage, you got the marriage certificate before taking the exams. Sorry o.
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by GeorgeD1(m): 3:54pm On Dec 27, 2010
if she lied to you about her age, chances are that she'll lie about other things too! wink
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by Hopejoy: 6:45pm On Dec 27, 2010
Whats this fuss about her age. Yeah right, she made a big blunder by giving fake age really, but that is still not enough to break up. Faraday, you said you dated her for 3 years? And just 1 yr in marriage, dont you think its too early to quit?. What makes you think the younger girl can give you the desired kids?

A child dedication i attended last sunday was of a 42yrs old who was just delivered of twins(2 BBs), You just have to be focused, what makes you think the little delay is from her, have you also thot of problem being from you? Please be serious and get focused knowing that you cant impregnant her under tension.

I advice to relax with her.
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by Kindy: 9:20am On Dec 28, 2010
Bros,ur wife indeed hs don u wrong,am sure she must hv shwn remorse.Pls 4gv her.SHE LUVS U! Pls ar there oda gud qualitis ur wife poses? Are dey nt worth it? Wat meks u tink d yunga girl n d uni wnt tel u lies mo grave dan ds.Dnt desolv ur mariag i beg of thee.U hv evry cos2b angry.God is d giva of chldren,4get fertilty isues.Luv u both
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by Nobody: 10:09am On Dec 28, 2010
Love is not love,
Which alters,
When it alteration finds,
Or bends with the Remover to Remove. . .
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by GeorgeD1(m): 11:23am On Dec 28, 2010
she lied about her age, who knows what other lies she has told that are yet to be uncovered?
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by kimekuSUN: 1:51pm On Dec 28, 2010
If u really love God, her 3yrs older than u can not separate what God has joined together. guy u really have to tink wel.
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by chihakeem(m): 7:24pm On Dec 28, 2010
What you really need to understand how this women think. http://dating-war..com/2010/11/how-women-think.html
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by harakiri(m): 6:00am On Dec 29, 2010
@jas man and odas. . . The problem with ppl like you is that you are all extremely shallow. You are all saying he should overlook a huge lie of this ramification all because he took "vows". . .lol. The vatican did a very good job of yoking ppl togeda all in d name of religion. Most of dismissing what d wife did would have taken d matter to greater heights and not bothered to seek opinions on nairaland. Bloody hypocrites! How many of you have d bile to stomach dat s.hit? If she could lie about her age 2 d man who married her, you should all open your peanut sized brains and imagine d oda skeletons he doesn't know. These are the kind of women that have one or two teenage children before marriage and d man will be suffering and dying in silence whereas the woman has completed 100% of her mission on earth. The man must swallow all this because of religious dogmas and vows from a book that has been manipulated several times of d centuries by both d ruling class and the vatican papacy and of which NOT ONE SOUL can show an atom/iota/element/fragment of proof dat indeed its the word of d creator. All that is spewed is the dogma you all have been spoon fed and brainwashed with from childhood.
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by harakiri(m): 6:13am On Dec 29, 2010
@faraday62. . . You alone must take a decision that suits you coz u alone know where d shoe hurts. Women are exceptionally good in crafting humungous lies and cover ups and WILL NEVER tell u until something uncovers it in the future and even then, she won't tell you the whole truth. What she will say is "i did it because i love you" and numb skull family members and friends will echo what some posters here have said e.g "remember your sacred vows of 4 beta,4 worse. E don happen. Manage d bad market like dat". IS DAT LIFE? Make your choice.
Re: My Wife Lied To Me About Her Age by JimmyBoy1: 8:02am On Dec 29, 2010
You have every reason to be dissapointed, but terminating the marriage is rather extreme. Please find a place in your heart to forgive her, you may never have lied at all in your life (I doubt it ), but you myust have certainly done something that requires forgiveness from men or God,

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