this is the kind of topic that still keeps my membership alive in nairaland, thank u guys, i've learnt alot frm dis post

i go for respect
a man is already half way in love with a woman dat respects him

A man needs respect more than love while ( African ) women i think might prefer love a little bit to respect.

Frankly, I don't think you can possibly love someone and not respect them.  Love have so many meanings and the boundaries is endless.  With that being said, you can't possibly say: "I love you," but don't respect that person.  Love is action word.

Love is kind, truthful, unselfish, trusting, believing, forgiving, hopeful, enduring, long suffering, it is not rude, angry, jealous etc.  God is love.  This description alone shows you that if you truly love someone and it don't have to necessarily be romantically, that respect goes hand and hand with it.  The bible says that you should love your neighbor as you love yourself.  So assuming you love yourself, you would respect yourself, therefore showing respect to all those around you.  So if you don't love and respect yourself unconditionally, you can't possibly love and respect someone else.  It's as simple as that.  You treat people accordingly as you feel about yourself.  That's just the way it is and always will be.  It's in the word.

@OP
Both men and women perceive things differently.
In a relationship, love and respect go hand in hand. A woman is naturally loving more than a man. The way to communicate with a man that you love him is by respecting him. For a woman, respect is not fear or having no opinion, it is about recognizing the man's role in the family/relationship. A man is to love his wife unconditionally.

u cant luv some1 u dont respect!,
men place respect higher on the scale than luv,

I go for LOVE, inside love u see respect, inside respect u may likely not find love

respect begets love. u cant love whom u hv no respect for. so i choose respect anytim anyday knoin dat love is embeddedd in respect.

jackkyy:

nigerians are so judgemental but they look past the bad name they have here for committing all sorts of million dollar frauds from medi -care fraud to

check fraud.i can go on and on.my point is that when i took sociology here in the us, we were taught not to judge a sample by an entire population. just cos

some african americans have their flaws doesnt mean there aren't good ones.of course they got good ones.a lot of nigerians here go to college and hope to

get a job. what if they went to an interview session and the prospective employer said to them " you are nigerian,i am sorry you cant get the job because you

stand a chance of being a fraudster".nigerians need to desist from this or sooner you will hear of them being killed by the people they talk down on.

What, in shyt sake, does all this gibberish got to do with the topic at hand? why not say it plain that what you were about to post is off the topic, and that, you were about to talk down on Nigerian men?

So, now that you have landed with all this FLAWBISH above, what next? I guess you should start doin the killin of Nigerians yourself, or what do you think? Some people ehn, Sometimes, I just 1der weda na 'white' dey cos am.

Love me less, I don't care, but pay me my respect, then, you'r welcome to my world, anytime, anyday, anywhere!

@Pro01
Thanks for stating clearly for all. Positive fear is what holds any long term relationship together

Both love and Reespect fades.

If u love someone then respect will come naturally, u always want the best for the the person, u want him or her to b happy, u'll respect his/her privacy, his/her opinion counts,u just want things to go well between u two. respect on d other hand does not mean u love the person, when u respect a person u show that u have high regard for the persons - opinions, looks, age, attitude etc. your respect for a person can make u love him/her.

So I will say love is more important


it's just my opinion

There's no love without respect

My respect is paramount in nature; highly unique and can never be compromised. What is love? Just a state! I came to the world with esteem_ crying, smiling and greeted by all. Hence, respect! Why and why should i subdue and or dilute respect for love.

mama-gee:

Love is more important because it brings in respect.

If there's no love there can't be any respect.

I strongly disagree. You may love a person but there exist no iota of respect for the person. Reason: may be you only take advantage of the person's beauty, or as a result of lust. Respect comes with an excellent uniqueness; resulting from artificial accomplishments and by this, you can have respect for somebody you hate. On a practical note, i use nairaland as a case study _ i hate Mrs. Eve because of her posts on "Men are" but i respect her on other facets of her positive contribution to NL. @ Mrs. Eve
I don't mean to upset your breakfast.

u can't respect someone u don;t love period!!

akwaowoudo:

@ Mrs. Eve I don't mean to upset your breakfast.

Lolz.

Hmmm to me as a Man,you had better Re§pect me first! They work hand in hand, any woman that respects me,obviously can see i'm a man of honour,prestige,great sense of humour and standard morals and principles,you having such virtue tagged on you as a man wins the respect of a Woman and thus,she automatically gains your L0ve simple to each their own,i think is reciprocal it turns like that:MAN needs RESPECT, WOMAN needs LOVE so we can exchange, lol

The fact that you respects a person does not prevent you from hurting him if he bleeps up.You cannot hurt someone whom you loves.Many of the governors were respected when they were on power,but they sins were remembered when they stepped down.Ironsi was respected when he was on power.Did the respect prevent a coup 4rm being planned against him? You can respect a person because you are afraid of him,but if you conquer ur fear,you can retaliate if he bleeps up.

akwaowoudo:

I strongly disagree. You may love a person but there exist no iota of respect for the person. Reason: may be you only take advantage of the person's beauty, or as a result of lust. Respect comes with an excellent uniqueness; resulting from artificial accomplishments and by this, you can have respect for somebody you hate. On a practical note, i use nairaland as a case study _ i hate Mrs. Eve because of her posts on "Men are" but i respect her on other facets of her positive contribution to NL. @ Mrs. Eve
I don't mean to upset your breakfast.

You don't know the meaning of true love.The fact that you are going after someone because of facial beauty and sexual accomplishments does not mean that you love her.There is a difference b/w love and lust.Read the book of 1 corinthians 13 and you'll know the attributes of love.When Christ Jesus mentioned love as the greatest commandment,he wasn't stupid.Maybe some nairalanders are now wiser than Christ.

@benstino N0 one is wiser than christ,love just simply comes with respect or is it because we emphasize the word Respect?christ expects you to understand that, LOVE is just the bold face and page Cover if you know what i mean,so pls respect and love your neighbor as your self lol, as for that which you typed of christ and love: forgiveness brings love and when you love,the light of G0d shines on you.

Respect is something u learn; something u r brought up with but love in almost every case occur naturally. I have met a girl who dint respect her bf, not even her Father but she 'loved' the guy anyway IMO. So I don't think the two should b merged in argument but if I must choose 1 I think respect for one another with take u further than love ever will! These r complex issues true true

@ all NLANDERS
wow i must confess that i'm really learnin thins here. Personally, i think men care alot about respect. Some dont even believ in love but care very much about getting their due respect. And funny enough, respect is enough to keep some men feeling loved.
please, dnt leave this thread without leaving ur own quota on this very congent issue as its proving 2 b very educative 2 us all. Also, dont forget 2 vote at the polls. GOD bless y'all.

Benstino:
You don't know the meaning of true love.The fact that you are going after someone because of facial beauty and sexual accomplishments does not mean that you love her.There is a difference b/w love and lust.Read the book of 1 corinthians 13 and you'll know the attributes of love.When Christ Jesus mentioned love as the greatest commandment,he wasn't silly.Maybe some nairalanders are now wiser than Christ.

Thrash! Drop it in the abyss.

akwaowoudo:

My respect is paramount in nature; highly unique and can never be compromised. What is love? Just a state! I came to the world with esteem_ crying, smiling and greeted by all. Hence, respect! Why and why should i subdue and or dilute respect for love.

akwaowoudo:

Thrash! Drop it in the abyss.

So you have nothing else to say?This ain't the right way to defend ur point.I pity you

Most people especially the youths of today can't distinguish between LOVE and RESPECT why? because of modernization and westernization, tradition. LOVE is supposed to be sacred. and with true love comes not just a feeling of but a true state of being secured, freedom and assured, and respect in both ways. Love is actually the relentless act art and lifestyle of sacrificing for one another unconditionally. Our tradition taught us how to respect but didn't teach us how to love truely. westernization took some elements of the respect imbibed in us and showed us a form of love lust. but modernization showed us even  more cravings for lust and no respects at all,  really, and ideally love and respect are two different things but can/should be combined together.



n.b: love isn't necessarily that tender strange kind of feeling/emotion u show to your partner but is a true kind feeling you show to people you meet on a daily basis besides loving and being in love are two different things and both commands respect naturally!

respect respect respect:it breeds love and all the fruits of the spirit

There is no respect without loving the person. but this respect is something u do with common sense.

@poster

Love and respect

which of the above do u possess, i guess non rather than confusion and hatred. u bera indemnify

We respect those we love! what is love without respect? Anyway u can respect someone reluctantly without loving that person but you are a liar if u claim u love somebody but u do not respect the person.

Like I mentioned before there is a difference between Love and Respect, for those who say if you love someone, then you respect them. I think that is overly simplistic because you can love people without respecting them by the way you treat them and vice versa.

I would suggest a wonderful book that deals with this topic, it is called " Love and Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs very helpful for singles and couples.