Funny this thread came up again. I didn't come to nl for a long time, and here I am reading this. well, to give some news : hubby and I are still together, he got a full time job about 6 months after my first post. I passed my degree, quit my 2 jobs and got another one, better paid with better schedule. we moved to a new place and we both contribute about 50/50 to the family expenses. He is saving money to start a business on top of his job. We also had another baby.

I could say that many of our problems are behind now. His personality hasn't changed much, though. I'm still alone most of the time to handle the day-today- life and running of the house. Reading through my old posts, I realize we are just very different people. My personality hasn't changed much either. I am a bit of a perfectionist and tend to feel that nothing is ever good enough. My husband is not very talkative and doesn't really know how to calm me down. But well, I guess since we lived together til now, we can still do the next 50 years or so. I thought I would feel depressed reading old posts about us and realizing that we didn't change... but on the contrary, it makes me feel more peaceful. Now I can tell it's a personality/communication thing, and we just have to make do with it.

Altogether, our marriage is not perfect, we had some really good ups, and a few downs too... but it's still standing, and I don't think it will ever break up.

Thank God for his presence and patience in our lives. Thank you all for your replies and sound advices.

AbyDee: Funny this thread came up again. I didn't come to nl for a long time, and here I am reading this. well, to give some news : hubby and I are still together, he got a full time job about 6 months after my first post. I passed my degree, quit my 2 jobs and got another one, better paid with better schedule. we moved to a new place and we both contribute about 50/50 to the family expenses. He is saving money to start a business on top of his job. We also had another baby.

I could say that many of our problems are behind now. His personality hasn't changed much, though. I'm still alone most of the time to handle the day-today- life and running of the house. Reading through my old posts, I realize we are just very different people. My personality hasn't changed much either. I am a bit of a perfectionist and tend to feel that nothing is ever good enough. My husband is not very talkative and doesn't really know how to calm me down. But well, I guess since we lived together til now, we can still do the next 50 years or so. I thought I would feel depressed reading old posts about us and realizing that we didn't change... but on the contrary, it makes me feel more peaceful. Now I can tell it's a personality/communication thing, and we just have to make do with it.

Altogether, our marriage is not perfect, we had some really good ups, and a few downs too... but it's still standing, and I don't think it will ever break up.

Thank God for his presence and patience in our lives. Thank you all for your replies and sound advices.

Thank God you were able to manage your situation. I am inspired, really. The Lord will continue to bless your marriage in Jesus name, Amen.

No judgement please.i know I am a scum but please dont add to it. Myself and my wife were friends in school , I had what we call my spec in my heart then and she jsnt it ( she is beautiful please). She is a good wife and mother not perfect cos no one is but she is good.
The issue is I have never found her attractive but then in school fellowship and preaching said looks do not matter, that the true beauty is internal. So I silenced the voice of my spec and married her. Let me say again, she is a good woman and doesn't deserve this.
9 years after marriage with 2 kids, the problem is since 2019 the attraction has got worse. I dont find her attractive at all again , we hardly gist , the way I express love I struggle to . To have sex seff , I have to use enhancers to get erections . I started cheating last year and I dont like it but I am.doing it. I love the girl in question and i know its unfair to my wife.
I have sought help , spoken with elderly people in marriage, prayed but its getting worse. She doesn't deserve this to be candid , and I am boring so much inside. No woman deserves to be treated like this.