Ok so i have some friends who are always like 'oh im in love with this guy' and then in two weeks its 'im in love with that guy' and im left scratching my head in confusion. I happen to think that except in very rare cases,its not possible for a teenager to fall in love. I think its a psychological thing-we just cant fall in love-true love. Love is,or at least should be,self-sacrificing. It should be about giving and putting the other person first. Most teens(i confess,even me sef join),are selfish-we want what we want when we want it,how we want it and where we want it. We think the world revolves around us. We can be really immature,and moody,and difficult,and for most of us,the gift of a patient and self-sacrificing spirit is one we are yet to receive. I think psychologically,we're just not programmed to have an emotion as intense as love just yet. And then there's the fact that we're still figuring out who we are. We are still figuring out our likes and dislikes,our weaknesses and strengths,and we are still discovering ourselves as individuals. Our personalities are still in a state of flux. And if i dont know who i am yet,then how the heck am i supposed to know and fall in love with with someone else? I put these points across to my friends and they were like i didnt know what i was saying and that it was because i havent experienced it before(which is true-i dont even date talkless of falling in love). What do you think? Do you think its possible for a teenager to actually fall in 'love'? P.s-By teenager i mean 13 to 16 year olds. 18 and above dont count.

Yupp. . What should i talk about? Husband mata? I must talk about what concerns me. .

SURE, proven by Romeo & Juliet

So before I go through the "Fear Factor" task of reading your long post,let me just answer your question.
Noooooooooooooooo.A teenager can not fall inlove,Just like Danny devito can't shoot a 3points in basket ball.even if he was standing on a crane.

yea you are absolutley right.well i will soon turn fourteen, and even past puberty, i start to ask my self is this what true love really feels like. you go with your heart and hpoefully it will last. it really has nothing to do with misconception. its most of all how you portray your image towards these circumstances. its either make a decision to intellectuallize your partner or you leave them alone and be your self. i think that the reason why its so hard to fall in love these days is because they rely on the outside and not the inside. it may not make sense but really but some people are so insecure that they try so hard to deviate from their true personality to please others, until you have truly hiddent the really you, and that mentallity can be both heart breaking and mentally dangerous, and could posssibly effect the people around you. my name is Njideka and you love will comne soon, god has a plan for everyone  

@Mediatrix,Romeo and Juliet were idiots.     @1one-fear factor? Lmao. . E ma binu oh. .  I tried to shorten it buh cutting some things out made it seem unfinished. Writing too much/long posts are the bane of my existence . .

@Amarachi,wierd. . I know an Njideka. . And that name isnt all that common

Yes o teenagers do fall in love, it only takes time

Not everybody is ready for the adversity of true love. No offense im a very pretty girl, but im also a smart one and i have the choice to choose who my life long companion will be. So im very careful to even put myself in that type of a situation. You have the choice of matrimonial offiliation, or just to be friends. some of my associates think: ooo man she really pretty so they say they like her. the next day i see the girl crying over a break up letter. so maybe you cant find true love by lust. people despise this suggestion, but sometimes it takes being educated. LOL, like if i get grabbed by a boy at school, i will take it as a major insult!!!And that is absolutley contradictory true love. do you get me on that theres a big difference, but the relationship needs to consist of commitement. i guess when their matured enough to realize that the world doesnt revolve around them.

whooosh, now i've read it,you couldn't be any closer to the truth
I'm really begining to enjoy my classes in psychy, i actually got your age bracket right.

Truth be told teenagers just really want to f#*k. . . Its that simple. as teenagers we are only physically attracted to each other at first, on the long run things may change as maturity set in but before then nko na just knacking spree. . . . the boys get attracted to the next yansh or bosom dey see and the girls nko they look forward to the next cute or muscular guy they set their eyes on. . . . Eventually we all have a story to tell cos I sure lived mine to the fullest !

@Atreides, What doyou say is so peculiar or whatever about my name

amarachi23:

@Atreides, What doyou say is so peculiar or whatever about my name

i didnt say there's anythin peculiar about ur name,i said that i know someone who bears the same name so it was a wierd coincidence-wierd because she's the only Njideka i know so the name isnt common.

1one:

whooosh, now i've read it,you couldn't be any closer to the truth
I'm really begining to enjoy my classes in psychy, i actually got your age bracket right.

oh? What did you guess? And you're taking psych courses? Shrinks scare me. .

And @triistar86, thats way off, Not all teenagers have that type of mentallity, THERE ARE SOME THAT ARE ACTUALLY MORE EDUCATED THAN MOST PEOPLE. misconception right there, and im totally offended.

Tell me wat aspect of luv does a teen know or thus understand

wat on dere mind is to experiment & try 2 understand d physical attraction btw both sex

em!!
wat dey understand is ' PURE INFACTUATION'

triistar86:

Truth be told teenagers just really want to f#*k. . .  Its that simple. as teenagers we are only physically attracted to each other at first, on the long run things may change as maturity set in but before then nko na just knacking spree. . . . the boys get attracted to the next yansh or bosom dey see and the girls nko they look forward to the next cute or muscular guy they set their eyes on. . . .  Eventually we all have a story to tell cos I sure lived mine to the fullest !

You have a point there-teenagers ARE horn.y. Bloom of youth and all. . I think a lot of us confuse lust/infatuation with love.

@Amarachi,its not about being more educated or not. The fact is that ALL teenagers feel certain things when puberty hits. Where education and the individual's mentality comes into it is in deciding what to do about those feelings.

well i cant say thats wrong, but look really there are some teens who do understand, let alone intellect, who are proficient enough at least realize that the world doesnt revolve around them like me. Anyways i get you 100% its the judging part. just because im almost fourteen doesnt mean that im not able to sympathize with you on this matter. but it think people who get that Hot dont have lives LOL,

@Amarachi,if you dont feel anything,if there's not a part of you that's a little curious then not doing it wont be a challenge. It wont be difficult because you dont feel anything and if you dont feel anything then there's nothing to fight. That you get a but worked up every now and then doesnt mean you must satisfy those urges. Its facing something difficult,wanting something and yet being strong enough to fight it,that is what builds true strength of character. And if you get so Hot you sha.g everything shaggable,then of course you need to get a life.

lets take that back a step, i know they come across atime when they are still trying to figure out things but im on a whole other level. im still on,: How could i be possible for a teenager fall in love. if you havent noticed. thank you though read my other posts if you like. Ok maybe i need to chill, its not like i've ever felt it before. Have you ever been heartbroken

i say 'yes' albeit reluctantly. it has been my experience that when you answer yes to that question, teenagers take it as licence for the lust they're engaged in. but u girls sound mature so i will explain.

yes, a teenager can fall in love, but like atreides rightly said, teens aren't in the right psychological zone to fully understand what is going on and how to nurture it the right way. so some destroy it by confusing it as a licence for lust (or describe it as lust itself), and miss out on the wonderful experience they could have had - a lifelong friendship that time and circumstance is unable to break, and sometimes marriage later on.

but when we're teens we spend so much time focusing on looking for 'love' (no thanks mtv and channel o) and get it all wrong, so we wouldn't know it if love gave us 2 hot slaps  

Another big one is insecurity, which not all the time- but some times make them feel like the only way they can be happy is if they sacrife an element of their personality which at the end makes it worse. i know how it feels to think someone is the one but then it all goes away and now you are scared to ever fall in love cuz you dont want to feel like before, You get me

@iceblue, your right. when you focus so much on your image instead of being you,the relationship could end up hurting you in the long run.

amarachi23:

lets take that back a step, i know they come across atime when they are still trying to figure out things but im on a whole other level. im still on,: How could i be possible for a teenager fall in love. if you havent noticed. thank you though read my other posts if you like. Ok maybe i need to chill, its not like i've ever felt it before. Have you ever been heartbroken

Oh i dont think its possible for a teenager to feel love either,im jus saying its very possible for them to feel lust/physical attraction. If by 'it' you mean have i ever had a crush or drooled(i use that for dramatic emphasis) over a guy's rockin' bod or married an imaginary celeb husband(dont tell anyone buh im the future Mrs. Banky W),then hells yeah,i've felt 'it'. However,i dont date. And ive never been heartbroken-because i havent fallen in love(and i dont think ill be doing that any time soon) before so how the heck would someone break my heart?

haaha yeah so im not alone. forget that one ooooo.

okk

@atreides love and lust are two different entity, not. Every teenager thinks about f@*?ing the opposite sex, some are very mature

@op
well what you have said is true, but it also depends alot on the maturity of your partner

you have to know what love is all about before you can give it, or truely appreciate it

for now just enjoy all the attention you are getting and save yours self the stress of love,

true love comes from a deep understanding and sincere friendship,

the best kind of relationship is the kind that starts from true friendship,

so concentrate on making genuine friends who knows u just might see what you are looking for,

Dafemo:

@atreides love and lust are two different entity, not. Every teenager thinks about f@*?ing the opposite gender, some are very mature

Every teenager thinks about sex at one point or the other.

It's a thread for teenagers, I feel so old in here. 

Well, yes, teenagers are capable of being in love/Loving.
Would you laugh if you were told that even babies are capable of loving/ being in love, too? Yes, they actually are.  . . . . Age is not a determinant.
It's however a different thing to say the word Love is often misused and many teenagers find it difficult to distinguish love from other seeming pleasant feelings at a given point.
Even here, I'D also like to point out that, not only teenagers are guilty, some seeming adults are also culprits.

Emotions belong to the peripheral nervous system and teenagers have brains -> PNS.
Since The brain is responsible for all emotions without age specification or limitation of certain emotions except damage is done, if teenagers feel emotions like pain, fear, anger etc, they should/ Must be able to feel love/be in love too.

I had my first and only committed relationship at age 17 and 'many' years after, I still reminisce and say bodly I was in love.

It's understandable if You say most teenagers are incapable of handling the complexity of Love [Not all adults can, either].

I think psychologically,we're just not programmed to have an emotion as intense as love just yet

Wrong!

And then there's the fact that we're still figuring out who we are. We are still figuring out our likes and dislikes,our weaknesses and strengths,and we are still discovering ourselves as individuals. Our personalities are still in a state of flux. And if i dont know who i am yet,then how the heck am i supposed to know and fall in love with with someone else?

Love is not dependent on self-awareness