baralatie:
In a woman's eye how does self esteem solve the problem of money in a relationship and in a man's eye how does self esteem solve the problem of keeping competition away from looking at his partners eexy back and boobs

adexpa:


It is a weakness for women to see money as priority in Relationship and it is a weakness for a man to be bothered about someone looking at his woman.
The two are product of low self esteem. If a woman can identify the part of herself that can make money too, she will not prioritize money in relationship; it is because many of them rely on their weaknesses that they can not make money as men do.
As for men who feel threatened when people look at their women, if a man knows his worth and value, he will not be disturbed by anyone looking at his wife. they are all product of low self esteem.

baralatie:

that the woman is the one bringing money into the relationship does not solve or eliminate the effect of money in the relationship as the role change of man in charge to woman in charge introduces the problem of cultural shock which supercedes esteem.
likewise the concept of male self worth is determined by culture dynamics at work with supercedes esteem.

coolestofall:
On point. Preach on pastor

adexpa:


It is a weakness for women to see money as priority in Relationship and it is a weakness for a man to be bothered about someone looking at his woman.
The two are product of low self esteem. If a woman can identify the part of herself that can make money too, she will not prioritize money in relationship; it is because many of them rely on their weaknesses that they can not make money as men do.
As for men who feel threatened when people look at their women, if a man knows his worth and value, he will not be disturbed by anyone looking at his wife. they are all product of low self esteem.

Shugavee:
Didn’t really get ur point ,,, cause there are slot of men n ladies in healthy relationships who fight with low self esteem. But ur views r not bad tho

adexpa:
Good day NLers, hope we are all doing well and acting safe in this tough(covid19) season. I pray God (Allah) keep us all.
This topic dropped in my mind and i feel like sharing my thought about it. Contributions, Subtraction and reasonable Criticisms are all welcome.

Self esteem is a big thing that individual needs to be watchful of in our engagements and endeavors. Bad self esteem kills homes, careers, and relationships.

Definition;
Self-esteem is used to describe a person's overall sense of self-worth or person. It can sometimes seen as self-worth or self-respect.

Signs of Healthy Self-Esteem;
Confidence
Ability to say no
Positive outlook
Ability to see overall strengths and weaknesses and accept them
Negative experiences don't impact overall perspective
Ability to express your needs

Signs of Low Self-Esteem;
Negative outlook
Lack of confidence
Inability to express your needs
Focus on your weaknesses
Excessive feelings of shame, depression, or anxiety
Belief that others are better than you
Trouble accepting positive feedback
Intense fear of failure

Factors That Influence Self-Esteem
There are different factors that can influence self-esteem, but it is often our experiences that form the basis for overall self-esteem e.g critical or negative assessments from caregivers, family members, and friends, inner thinking, age, any potential illnesses, disabilities, or physical limitations, and your job can affect your self-esteem.

How does it play out in our lifes/homes/relationships
Many people today are running away from their weaknesses instead of embracing and accepting them, and that has informed different decisions and steps we made in our lifes/relationships/marriages. Many people goes into a relationship/marriage just to boost their self esteem, some men/women are not brilliant or good enough in some areas but instead of accepting their weaknesses, they will tend to look for someone to cover-up, some men married pretty women just to cover-up one bad side of their life and tend to show the world(friends) that they are good and perfect in all area. some women/men decided to go for rich men/women just to cover one weak part of their life. some men goes for low class women in order to have say on every issues in their home and that will help them boost their ego; they believed by controlling their wife, they can gain their full potential or respect. some people tend to go for big cars, expensive clothes and different material things just to cover-up their weaknesses.

There are many different things we go for in life just to cover-up our weaknesses, but all these thing never played the role we employed or bought them for all the time and we are always left devastated and rejected at any point those things failed us. We can not run from the reality of who we are.

How we showcase our low self esteem;
1) When a man feel threatened when his wife is excelling and doing great in her career/businesses.
2) When a man feel threatened/insecure when he sees his wife talking to another man.
3) when a woman feel threatened/insecure when she sees her husband talking to another woman.
4) When a man feel threatened/insecure when his wife raises objection on issues at home.
5) When man/woman feel threatened when his/her friend is doing well in his/her career/businesses.
and many more.................................

how do we handle self esteem for a better lifes/homes/relationships
Since we all know that low self esteem is as a result of weaknesses inherent in us, we have to accept the fact that we can not erase low self but we can increase high self esteem to lower low self esteem to the bearable level by reducing our attention towards our weaknesses and focus more on our strengths. We need to evaluate and examine ourselves in order to know our weaknesses and strengths and therefore do little we can do to manage our weaknesses but focus more on our strengths.

what are we to do
1) Identify your strengths and focus more on it by improving and get better on it.
2) identify your weaknesses and do little to manage it because you might not be able to erase it.
3) Keep upgrading and updating yourself both on your weaknesses and your strengths, but more focus on your strengths.

By identifying and accepting who we are, and ready to work on both our weaknesses and strengths, we tend not to involve in relationship/marriage in order to cover-up our weaknesses but to be a better person. If we accept out true colour, we will embrace and celebrate our partners for the grace( their strengths) up their lives and not been threatened/insecure anytime they exhibit their strengths.

Great Nairalanders,
Great Homes
Great LIfes
Great Relationships.

Magnoliaa:


And it's you again. lol

Shugavee:
Didn’t really get ur point ,,, cause there are slot of men n ladies in healthy relationships who fight with low self esteem. But ur views r not bad tho

lefulefu:
dont get u.so if my wife tries to murder me and i break up with her so its because of low self esteem?

adexpa:


Your wife can not just wake up one day and decided to murder you( God forbid), there must have been series of issues over time and those issues are what the topic is addressing as low self esteem. Low self esteem is very broad, it brings about unnecessary ego in a man, it brings about unnecessary hatred and jealousy in man/woman, it brings about insecurity in man/woman and many more ........all these issues are what leads to misunderstanding and fights in many relationships/marriages/friendships. If we can take our time to identify our worth and value and we are busy making impact with them, you will be less concern about minor issues, Respect is won and not fight for, if you know your worth as a man, your home/friends/relatives will respect you.

lefulefu:
see this guy so what of the lady in benin who murdered her husband who happened to be a staff of NNPC with the aid of her pastor lover .was dat cos of low self esteem? its like u have never met women that are evil incarnates.if u have a troublesome partner the best thing u do is break up with her and have ur peace of mind.dont let anybody blackmail u and force u into a relationship u detest.

baralatie:

I remember reading the story!
very intriguing and unimaginable. the colabo between the pastor and the wife