Your friend is fcking that lady simple.

I remember a nairalander I wanted to marry but the sister's husband insisted I must not marry her. Today i'm married to another girl and the girl has long been impregnated by a guy that did not even marry her

Help2020:
Bro,I love her deeply.. She has every quality I need in a woman..I know deep within me my friend feel somehow jealous...my friend just don't want me to marry her for selfish reasons.. Sincerely the thought of breaking up with her is hurting me already.She is not perfect just like me,but we understands each other.

ask her if your friend has ever made a pass at her, that's trying to sleep with her.
I think the answer lies there.

This issue is very deep if you approach it with human knowledge but it's a simple thing if God helps you solve it. I will advise you as human though. The greatest weapon you needed to succeed in life is just two (love and unity) and you already have one of it. You claimed you and this girl love each other right? If that is the case just trigger the second option which is cooperation between you and your girl against and family or foundational forces that want you to regret that marriage. My brother if you want to succeed in life, stop listening to that your friend and listen to what fasting and prayer can do for you.

How are we sure this friend is guilty of what OP's ex alleged?

OP, you should've heard his side of the story, regardless -- Audi alteram partem

Since we can't establish your friend's innocence or guilt, it becomes difficult to give any grounded advise.

However, regardless of his guilt/innocence, it will be wise for you to carry out some background check on your partner's family.

Does the girl know that he has blocked the attempt you were making to help get her into a business and now he’s trying to stop you guys from being together in love?
Seems he’s the one who’s working for the devil in this situation. Talking about stupid spiritual problems but he doesn’t sleep at home with this wife and treats her badly. What a loser!
Makes me question why you are still friends with him.

I smell a rat here. For ur friend to say unpleasant things about his wife's family just to discourage u from marrying his wife's sister speaks volume. Add ONE and two to her her, u'll get an answer. U said he disrespects his wife, e en in ur presence. Possibly, he might be crushing on or even sleeping with the wife's sister, which u may not really know.

He should give you REASONS..

Before meeting her, was his business booming?
How was his finance?
After marrying her, what is the effect?
what changes?
What are the reasons why he thinks so?

Ask Abigal if she and Victor has anything.... He has tried doing it before..

I smell a rat here. For ur friend to say unpleasant things about his wife's family just to discourage u from marrying the sister speaks volume. Add ONE and two together, u'll get an answer. U said he disrespects his wife, even in ur presence. Possibly, he might be crushing on her or even sleeping with the wife's sister, which u may not really know.

Help2020:
Hi Nairalanders.

I have been a good follower of this great Forum for a very long time and I must commend how you guys help with meaningful comments whenever someone requests for help.......

Pls I am in urgent need of your advice now....

Pls ignore my grammatical errors...

Here is the story......

I have a friend named Victor, (real name) a Ghanain..

We are close friends and we are about doing some business together. Before I present the real deal now, let me highlight one mistake he made that would have ended our friendship but I ignored it..

It was way back 2014..

We newly became friends then..and coincidentally there was a Muslim girl I feel in love with, and we starting dating. One day I was not around when my (Victor) friend came to meet this Muslim girl (my girl) and tried to kiss her.

She was a flashy girl and very tempting no doubt, but he almost broke the brother code by trying to do that to my girl. When my girl (now ex) told me, I was angry but decided not to ask him and it died like that.

Sadly, on religious ground I was not allowed to marry the girl so we went our separate ways, but I found it difficult to love again because I loved that girl deeply. So I relocated to another city. Kumasi.

Fast forward to 2020.. About 2 months ago my friend Victor invited me to come down to Accra for some business discussion. So I came and I met his wife's sister (real name Abigail) who now lives with them. Sincerely I felt something for her and told my friend strait away that I like Abigail, and I would love to know her more with marriage in view. I also spoke to his wife Abigail sister about how I felt for her sis but I needed their consent before I approach Abigail.

Consents were given by both of them and after few weeks I proposed to Abigail and she asked me to hold on, that she is going to formally inform her sis and the husband because she lives with them, and I quite understand.

About 2 weeks on Abigail accepted my proposal and I was happy, but went ahead to ask why she accepted and she said she has been hearing good things about me, and beside I am handsome (lol), pardon me I was just quoting her..

So we starting dating.

So 2 days ago I had some discussion with my friend victor (Abigail sis husband).

This time this discussion was basically about some issues he's been having with his wife, how he treats his wife badly lately, does not eat at home or spend time with the wife. So I spoke to him about why he should change and allow peace to reign in the house. As I was discussing with him, he then chipped in some issue about me and Abigail.

HE SAID AS HIS FRIEND HE WON'T ENCOURAGE ME TO ENTER THE WIFE FAMILY. THAT HE HAS BEEN IN THE FAMILY AND HE'S BEEN FIGHTING SOME SPIRITUAL BATTLE FROM THE FAMILY..

So I thanked him, I said to him that I will try to pray about it. That I know many family have some spiritual battles, but I will try and fight the battle....

Here I am somehow confused.. Does he genuinely mean well for me? or he just does not want me to marry this beautiful girl?

Less I forget. He also stopped me from introducing this girl into a certain business that would give her some financial freedom..

I am thinking he does not want the best for either me or the girls family....

And given how he speaks about his wife, I think he is heading in the direction of divorce, and maybe he does not want me to enter the family as that may cause some barrier......

All this are just my opinion given how things are playing out....

Pls I need your suggestion...
Thanks

@mods, pls help me move this to front page, I need urgent help pls

he doesn't mean well for you. He's probably jealous or vexed his wife agreed to endorse tge relationship.
You really should be careful of that friend.

You are not going to ask only one person na

Kirinwa:


What if you ask the wrong old man like Chinwetalu Agu character?

Help2020:
Hi Nairalanders.

I have been a good follower of this great Forum for a very long time and I must commend how you guys help with meaningful comments whenever someone requests for help.......

Pls I am in urgent need of your advice now....

Pls ignore my grammatical errors...

Here is the story......

I have a friend named Victor, (real name) a Ghanain..

We are close friends and we are about doing some business together. Before I present the real deal now, let me highlight one mistake he made that would have ended our friendship but I ignored it..

It was way back 2014..

We newly became friends then..and coincidentally there was a Muslim girl I feel in love with, and we starting dating. One day I was not around when my (Victor) friend came to meet this Muslim girl (my girl) and tried to kiss her.

She was a flashy girl and very tempting no doubt, but he almost broke the brother code by trying to do that to my girl. When my girl (now ex) told me, I was angry but decided not to ask him and it died like that.

Sadly, on religious ground I was not allowed to marry the girl so we went our separate ways, but I found it difficult to love again because I loved that girl deeply. So I relocated to another city. Kumasi.

Fast forward to 2020.. About 2 months ago my friend Victor invited me to come down to Accra for some business discussion. So I came and I met his wife's sister (real name Abigail) who now lives with them. Sincerely I felt something for her and told my friend strait away that I like Abigail, and I would love to know her more with marriage in view. I also spoke to his wife Abigail sister about how I felt for her sis but I needed their consent before I approach Abigail.

Consents were given by both of them and after few weeks I proposed to Abigail and she asked me to hold on, that she is going to formally inform her sis and the husband because she lives with them, and I quite understand.

About 2 weeks on Abigail accepted my proposal and I was happy, but went ahead to ask why she accepted and she said she has been hearing good things about me, and beside I am handsome (lol), pardon me I was just quoting her..

So we starting dating.

So 2 days ago I had some discussion with my friend victor (Abigail sis husband).

This time this discussion was basically about some issues he's been having with his wife, how he treats his wife badly lately, does not eat at home or spend time with the wife. So I spoke to him about why he should change and allow peace to reign in the house. As I was discussing with him, he then chipped in some issue about me and Abigail.

HE SAID AS HIS FRIEND HE WON'T ENCOURAGE ME TO ENTER THE WIFE FAMILY. THAT HE HAS BEEN IN THE FAMILY AND HE'S BEEN FIGHTING SOME SPIRITUAL BATTLE FROM THE FAMILY..

So I thanked him, I said to him that I will try to pray about it. That I know many family have some spiritual battles, but I will try and fight the battle....

Here I am somehow confused.. Does he genuinely mean well for me? or he just does not want me to marry this beautiful girl?

Less I forget. He also stopped me from introducing this girl into a certain business that would give her some financial freedom..

I am thinking he does not want the best for either me or the girls family....

And given how he speaks about his wife, I think he is heading in the direction of divorce, and maybe he does not want me to enter the family as that may cause some barrier......

All this are just my opinion given how things are playing out....

Pls I need your suggestion...
Thanks

@mods, pls help me move this to front page, I need urgent help pls

Do some background check on the family by yourself, pray and make your conclusions

Help2020:
yes I am praying about it,Thanks.

Yes continue To pray but if you cannot stop the imminent divorce between your friend and his wife and reconcile them. I will suggest you forget the girl. Your friend's marriage harmony will mean a lot to your Successful marriage to the girl.
I pray God give you more understanding!

basty:


I like your response, you are one of the dependable and wise person on Nairaland of today. An epitome of what Nairaland was used to be. God will grant you wisdom to rule over your people.

Awwwwn.... Thank you... I feel very honoured... Amen.. God bless you too..

[quote author=GreatResearcher post=88126343][/quote] ATHEIST pls don't come and spread your doubt on somebody's else religious beliefs.....leave people's spiritual inclinations for them to handle......THANKS FOR UNDERSTANDING.

shine your eye orless people go help you shine now

RisenPhoenix:
Never ask a man for advice when he's in a bad mood. He will only prophecy death and disaster and load you with pessimism.

You have a brain; approximately equivalent in size to your friend's; use it instead of trying to use his.

my favourite reply so far...thumbs up

LordReed:


You have to evaluate the evidence by yourself. Is the wife a troublesome person? Is Abigail a troublesome person? Are they an uncaring lot? Do they have any bad manners that you deem deal breakers? You can't taste food with another man's mouth. Your friend may be lying or telling the truth but you have to ascertain the true position by yourself.

I can't understand why I am the first to like your comment. It makes just as much sense or even more sense than the ones before it

justnock:

That man is just bitter and sentimental.
I love challenges, what about you?
Spiritual battles, right?!
Put on your spiritual Armour and wife that lady.
Her brother-in-law left nyansh.

Boss

Man u sure say ur guy no dey fvck dat girl

lilyheaven:

You are not going to ask only one person na

Lol. Just saying. Some old men are something else.

Kirinwa:


Coming from evil1, I'll be worried with the advice

There's a saying that, " you don't judge a book by its cover "

Lamanii22:
Hmmmm... This is confusing... Go and pray about it first...

Go and pray about it

Thats the only solution an average Nigerian babe can come up with. Dumb morrafurkers.

Marriage is a life time decision,I won’t advice you to ignore what you friend said about his in-law and what he is going thru,business first before pressure,one of his reason may be because he don’t want both of you to be stock in the same family,don’t cut tide with your friend as long as you been doing business for long and he introduce you to new business and you been doing well too,take your time observe the relationship with the lady,ask yourself if throughly she is the woman you want,not because she is fine and the kind of woman you like,have you check her character very well have you check her sister character too,have you check her family background,are you ready to be sharing in-laws with your friend,if they are all yes go ahead.if you have any doubt,just rethink (if you enter inside,you go still come nairaland to ask us how you go take commot).

That your friend has fuxk that girl that's why he is advising you not to go into the package cos both your friend and the girl can never be trusted

ur friend is probably having or have had secret affair with his wife sister (Abigail)

he gave u consent at first, later had a rethink about another guy enjoying same pussy he enjoys secretly, then came back to scare u off the girl

My brother, forget spiritual battle, even u am sure there are witches and wizards in your family, forget spiritual battle shit, if u love the girl, and u are sure she loves you too, marry her

My brother, my take on this matter is this. Don't rely on your friend for your own personal life. Just go to God in prayer and ask some of your friends in faith in your ministry to join you in prayer.
After that, try and do some personal research on the family by yourself. Ask questions, if possible visit the community and ask the neighbors about them without their knowledge.
I believe that before you do the above things mentioned earlier, you find your answers starring at you. Leave your friend alone on this matter because the heart of men are desperate wicked and deceitful.
He may not want the family to find out that he is not a good husband to their daughter through you if you eventually get marry to the wife Younger sister.

Help2020:
Hi Nairalanders.

I have been a good follower of this great Forum for a very long time and I must commend how you guys help with meaningful comments whenever someone requests for help.......

Pls I am in urgent need of your advice now....

Pls ignore my grammatical errors...

Here is the story......

I have a friend named Victor, (real name) a Ghanain..

We are close friends and we are about doing some business together. Before I present the real deal now, let me highlight one mistake he made that would have ended our friendship but I ignored it..

It was way back 2014..

We newly became friends then..and coincidentally there was a Muslim girl I feel in love with, and we starting dating. One day I was not around when my (Victor) friend came to meet this Muslim girl (my girl) and tried to kiss her.

She was a flashy girl and very tempting no doubt, but he almost broke the brother code by trying to do that to my girl. When my girl (now ex) told me, I was angry but decided not to ask him and it died like that.

Sadly, on religious ground I was not allowed to marry the girl so we went our separate ways, but I found it difficult to love again because I loved that girl deeply. So I relocated to another city. Kumasi.

Fast forward to 2020.. About 2 months ago my friend Victor invited me to come down to Accra for some business discussion. So I came and I met his wife's sister (real name Abigail) who now lives with them. Sincerely I felt something for her and told my friend strait away that I like Abigail, and I would love to know her more with marriage in view. I also spoke to his wife Abigail sister about how I felt for her sis but I needed their consent before I approach Abigail.

Consents were given by both of them and after few weeks I proposed to Abigail and she asked me to hold on, that she is going to formally inform her sis and the husband because she lives with them, and I quite understand.

About 2 weeks on Abigail accepted my proposal and I was happy, but went ahead to ask why she accepted and she said she has been hearing good things about me, and beside I am handsome (lol), pardon me I was just quoting her..

So we starting dating.

So 2 days ago I had some discussion with my friend victor (Abigail sis husband).

This time this discussion was basically about some issues he's been having with his wife, how he treats his wife badly lately, does not eat at home or spend time with the wife. So I spoke to him about why he should change and allow peace to reign in the house. As I was discussing with him, he then chipped in some issue about me and Abigail.

HE SAID AS HIS FRIEND HE WON'T ENCOURAGE ME TO ENTER THE WIFE FAMILY. THAT HE HAS BEEN IN THE FAMILY AND HE'S BEEN FIGHTING SOME SPIRITUAL BATTLE FROM THE FAMILY..

So I thanked him, I said to him that I will try to pray about it. That I know many family have some spiritual battles, but I will try and fight the battle....

Here I am somehow confused.. Does he genuinely mean well for me? or he just does not want me to marry this beautiful girl?

Less I forget. He also stopped me from introducing this girl into a certain business that would give her some financial freedom..

I am thinking he does not want the best for either me or the girls family....

And given how he speaks about his wife, I think he is heading in the direction of divorce, and maybe he does not want me to enter the family as that may cause some barrier......

All this are just my opinion given how things are playing out....

Pls I need your suggestion...
Thanks

@mods, pls help me move this to front page, I need urgent help pls

Bro, I had similar experience with a friend.
He tried that shit with my girl in school then and I confronted him, he accepted that he did it and apologized.
Fast forward to years later, I gave him series of money for business and each time he has a story to tell. Some he returned and some he is yet to return.
Bottom line, that guy is not to trusted. As for the girl make your enquiry personally

1sttruth:


Bro, I had similar experience with a friend.
He tried that shit with my girl in school then and I confronted him, he accepted that he did it and apologized.
Fast forward to years later, I gave him series of money for business and each time he has a story to tell. Some he returned and some he is yet to return.
Bottom line, that guy is not to trusted. As for the girl make your enquiry personally

Thank you bro..I have decided to even leave the girl.. I had some discussion with the victor guy this morning and obviously he is acting out of jealousy. He likes the girl,that's the truth. So I am cutting off anything that has to do with them.

frankkydee:
That your friend has fuxk that girl that's why he is advising you not to go into the package cos both your friend and the girl can never be trusted

Thank you.I have decided to cut ties with the guy and the girl..

AbleGod7555:
My brother, my take on this matter is this. Don't rely on your friend for your own personal life. Just go to God in prayer and ask some of your friends in faith in your ministry to join you in prayer.
After that, try and do some personal research on the family by yourself. Ask questions, if possible visit the community and ask the neighbors about them without their knowledge.
I believe that before you do the above things mentioned earlier, you find your answers starring at you. Leave your friend alone on this matter because the heart of men are desperate wicked and deceitful.
He may not want the family to find out that he is not a good husband to their daughter through you if you eventually get marry to the wife Younger sister.

Thank you bro..I have decided to cut ties with the guy and the girl..Thanks a lot