Collect the bride price with prize
As for present day valuation or demand for interest

Eulalia:
I'm not an advocate for divorce. So I won't say anything.
I'll just read comments.

Ezigbo Nwanyi! Am So Proud

ShenTeh:
Ah.

Don't collect it. Obviously, the man has not forgiven himself but seeks forgiveness from his woman. He shouldn't stoop to negotiate from the short end of the gun. There should be some pride and vim left in the man; he shouldn't beat himself into allowing the wife pay him off.

If she wants a divorce, let her go the route as mandated by law. Serve the man the right papers and get it vide the court. That would also address the child's issue.

Let no one be the judge, jury prosecution and defendant in his/her own case.

Otherwise, the man should let her roam free. She'll also find that she abandoned a lower evil for the devil himself.

We all later realise that our unforgiving nature is our very own fetters.

Its not a matter of paying off. Some custom in the south requires that bride price be returned or it will be deemed that they're still together and if they woman have any sexual relationship in this state, she might suffer repercussion from ancestral arrangement

If she return her bride price. Will he return her virginity?

In some tradition if she did not return d bride price & she remarry b4 d eyes of d gods she is an adulterer & d wrath of gods will b upon d children,it will kill then like corona virus.

The man has no testicles.

He had his testicles ripped off by his wife.

Customary marriage.

chocolatelady:
Traditionally in Igbo land, if the woman ‘s family did not return the bride price. Any child the woman gave birth to after separation belongs to her husband. I mean her former husband. Men have to be careful in marrying separated or divorced women becos if the man happens to marry the woman when the woman’s family failed to return the bride price to her ex husband hence the present husband is just giving birth for another person. The reason is that it is assumed that the woman is still married to her ex husband. So returning the price is the first thing to do before the woman can remarry. If they did court wedding, they can as well file for divorce where all the conditions will be listed including how the man will be seeing his child and also amount for the child’s upkeep.

Yeah!

I think we have the same tradition regarding that

Exactly like this in my place

PureGoldh:
You can never please some women no matter what you do.

Ain't tryna be sentimental but truth be told,some women are just something else...even after the dude don beg her finish...she still dey form boss as Bianca ojukwu wey she be nii

If na the man wey wan marry another wife ontop now...she will jejely look for means to poison the man

The man didn't tell us what he did. Begging is not just enough in some cases.....

Pls for the purpose of clarification....I already apologized to someone regarding the child/children mix up ..just know that a child is involved..

Secondly I won't bring a STORY here seeking for advice..that's insensible of me...this is a reality.

Thank u all for ur contributions...am picking one or two points...

Galactico4ever:
Ezigbo Nwanyi! Am So Proud

O wu ya nu.
Imela

ghettochild:

They do it here too in south Africa

Nice to know...thanks for sharing.

PureGoldh:
[s]You can never please some women no matter what you do.

Ain't tryna be sentimental but truth be told,some women are just something else...even after the dude don beg her finish...she still dey form boss as Bianca ojukwu wey she be nii

If na the man wey wan marry another wife ontop now...she will jejely look for means to poison the man[/s]

But we don't actually know what the guy did?

ShenTeh:
Ah.

Don't collect it. Obviously, the man has not forgiven himself but seeks forgiveness from his woman. He shouldn't stoop to negotiate from the short end of the gun. There should be some pride and vim left in the man; he shouldn't beat himself into allowing the wife pay him off.

If she wants a divorce, let her go the route as mandated by law. Serve the man the right papers and get it vide the court. That would also address the child's issue.

Let no one be the judge, jury prosecution and defendant in his/her own case.

Otherwise, the man should let her roam free. She'll also find that she abandoned a lower evil for the devil himself.

We all later realise that our unforgiving nature is our very own fetters.

Note to self:
Our unforgiving nature is our very own fetters, I can be very vindictive. We learn everyday

The lady requesting this advice is only selfish thinking. you are hiding behind one finger. Laws of nature and your traditions Will very soon catch up with you. you acknowledge that the man paid your bride price and fulfill your traditions but now you want to run.

first you have not given information about the cause of seperation leading to you leaving separately for some time now. you now come up with a one sided proposal for divorce.

To many youth, marriage is a spiritual joining of two and witnessed by God's angels and several people. when you marry and failed to cooperate with your partner you are just disturbing yourselves. you will be running from one man to another because all men behave same.

for the problems you have created with your bad behaviour go and complained to your church or mosque marriage counsellor and seek genuine advice from people that know you physically.

if you apply any advice from this page you are floating to nowhere and oyo lo wa.

Candoit:
If she return her bride price. Will he return her virginity?

Will she return his virginity too?

Was she even a virgin in the first place?

Without him she might probably never bear the name Mother in her lifetime.

Technically, it's the husband's family that paid the dowry. Yes, the husband may be the one who actually put up the funds, but symbolically, it's from one family to the other.

That said, there doesn't appear to be a legal requirement for dowry (as in it's not in our Marriage Act), which means the divorce can proceed through the courts without any talk of dowry.

But we're talking about our traditional institutions: included in the dowry paid is the assumption that any children born in wedlock belong to the man's family... he may risk his traditional paternity rights by returning the dowry. I would vote NO, he should not "let her go" until he can guarantee his right to see or have his children stay with him, and for them to visit him at any time. This should be in writing so it's fairly balanced.

As an aside, I always wonder why people don't include inflation in the dowry. I mean, 50k paid 10 years ago is worth about 200k today, so in my humble opinion, the man is entitled to 4x what he paid

humble2:
Pls for the purpose of clarification....I already apologized to someone regarding the child/children mix up ..just know that a child is involved..

Secondly I won't bring a STORY here seeking for advice..that's insensible of me...this is a reality.

Thank u all for ur contributions...am picking one or two points...

...Bros,tell the girl to go sue for divorce if not,she will be putting more curses on her head and if care is not taken and she gets pregnant for another man,the legal husband can sue her for bigamy and that attract a 7 years jail term because it's a criminal offence.The truth is since she wants to remarry,she has to return the kid back to his biological father since he is Alive,She can't take his child and give to another man.

don't eat your cake and still imagine it is still in your hand,

reprobates.

immaq8:
first you stated a kid, later children.
Nevertheless, in my tradition if the man do not collect the bride price or the lady family do not return the bride price, it means they are still married. if the lady sleep with another man it's known as abomination.
secondly, if the lady haven't remarry, the man can visit the kid(s) in her new home rather fix a venue.

It will not be better for your culture and the idiots that wrote that stupid culture. And the girl is even stupid thinking of returning one yeye bride price. So the husband no have sex with her abi?or she no born pikin for him? So all the child labour pains and pregnancy should go for free? It will not be better for men who made those stupid laws

First of all,did they get married in a registry office?if no,then.

The man must be retarded if you ask me,you can't force a woman to be married to you.if a woman is fadeup ,let her go.

She can easily kill you man.

jeff1607:
the dowry shouldn't be the only thing returned, all expenses paid by the man during the wedding preparations should be included should be returned

and is the man also going to return all the woman's contribution to his life so far?

I am not owing hubby any bride price because the token paid/collected was returned to us and we don spend am together.

Acmepreneur:

It will not be better for your culture and the idiots that wrote that stupid culture. And the girl is even stupid thinking of returning one yeye bride price. So the husband no have sex with her abi?or she no born pikin for him? So all the child labour pains and pregnancy should go for free? It will not be better for men who made those stupid laws

See mentality. spits

So she born for am abi she born for herself?

Without that man she for die childless. Las Las na she lose cuz if she no born for the man, women plenty wey go born for am.

Kunfayakun12:
I have never heard of this tradition before

Infact this is my first time of hearing things like this,this is even beyond me

Kunfayakun12:
I have never heard of this tradition before

the Igbo people does that. I think its just them that have that tradition

humble2:
Hello people

Please help with your inputs....I will be very brief.

A man married a woman.. the marriage produced a kid. Along the line they had an unreconcilable issue...I called it unreconcilable because the man had begged the woman, called elders and everyone in sight to help beg but the woman is unforgiving. Now after some years of the woman staying out of their matrimonial home. (Cos she moved out with the children) she called the man and told him she wants to move on and remarry and that the man should tell her how to return the dowry paid on her. She is also making the man sign an undertaking that he can always come to see the children whenever he wants. Though the agreement didn't state that the children can always visit their father whenever they want.

Now my question,, should the man accept the dowry or he should reject it but let her move on?

Secondly, the agreement stating that he can only visit the children at her maybe new home. Is it proper? Cos as it is the children cant go to their fathers. Please ur opinions are welcomed.. DNT mind my typography.

If they had a court wedding, the marriage is not dissolved until dissolved by the court. Customarily, the bride price can be returned if the man is willing to accept but this time the kids will stay with their father.
Unreconcillable difference means that the woman have her eyes on another man already, maybe her ex, or the man is chronic cheat and beater.

Why not Especially at this Coronavirus period

Ellasure:
The lady requesting this advice is only selfish thinking. you are hiding behind one finger. Laws of nature and your traditions Will very soon catch up with you. you acknowledge that the man paid your bride price and fulfill your traditions but now you want to run.

first you have not given information about the cause of seperation leading to you leaving separately for some time now. you now come up with a one sided proposal for divorce.

To many youth, marriage is a spiritual joining of two and witnessed by God's angels and several people. when you marry and failed to cooperate with your partner you are just disturbing yourselves. you will be running from one man to another because all men behave same.

for the problems you have created with your bad behaviour go and complained to your church or mosque marriage counsellor and seek genuine advice from people that know you physically.

if you apply any advice from this page you are floating to nowhere and oyo lo wa.

it's the man asking not lady

uruba23:
Go to court and seek redress why should she be the one drafting the agreements.

Final

Jim99:


Will she return his virginity too?

Was she even a virgin in the first place?

Without him she might probably never bear the name Mother in her lifetime.

meaning that the man can singlehandedly bear the name Father in his lifetime.....

All I know is that in case of a divorce/separation, both of them should not expect to return to their pre-marriage state ..