It is funny and quite painful also that as everyone is eargerly anticipating the end of this lockdown period, I am busy dreading every second that propels my witnessing the last day of this break.
I had since been reticent about coming out here with the cause of my insomnia and constant depressive mood due to the cyber bashing and foul name-calling that usually follows. Then I thought to myself, why don't you put yourself out there by the road and see if you might get picked up, or at most, get ran over. Also, coupled with the fact that I have recently read testimonies here on how some kind nairalanders have been of some form of assistance or the other to depressed persons, as I am now, I then decided to share my problem here also.
I beg your pardon if my post seem lengthy, please bear with me.


please scroll down for more info

.....



I can't comprehend

Stay inside you die!

Go outside you will still die!

Just know this; Something must kill a man/woman, but what you leave on earth lives on, not necessarily making millions .

My mantra: Live everyday like it's your last (the right path but look for trouble, small ).

We die here!

Please, be patient with me a little. I haven't started yet.

Hmmm..

I had always thought of going into business immediately after my secondary education, but due to financial support I received from my aunt, I decided to further my studies instead. At first I wanted to study mbbs due to the financial gains that comes with being a doctor but as God would have it, I was given another course of study and I thank God everyday because I still wonder where my aunt would have been able to come up with the wherewithal to support my studies if I had gone with mbbs.
I am not an only child. I have two other younger siblings that look up to me for support, therefore, I had always hoped to come out of the university with good grades so that I can look for scholarships to further my education into masters level. Possibly, phd level also.
My journey into the university couldn't have started worse. My first semester results saw me slightly floating above third class. I was greatly pained and disappointed at myself to say the least. In fact, that was the first time I experienced depression.

...My heart would skip anytime I thought of how I had disappointed my self and younger ones. My mind constantly repeated the question "Third class for naija! And no connection o. How you wan take do am na". But being the kind of person I am. One who is not easily deterred, provided the goal is feasible and achievable, I don't succumb to defeat. My being in third class was due to the many travails I faced as a fresher with nothing but a few clothes and few weeks worth of foodstuffs. No course, materials, textbooks, internet and good social network of classmates and coursemates. All these I promised to fix in the coming semester, and I did fix them. To cut the long story short. By managing to engage in little jobs at the end of every semester, I was able to save up and get the basic things I needed as a student, both the academic and personal stuffs. This lead to a drastic increase in my grades. From my 100 level 2nd semester till 400 1st semester, I had been able to, by God's grace, manage a first class gp

op ride on

...and this brought my overall gp (cgpa) to slightly below a first class at the end of 400 level 1st semester. And, provided that I manage to do very well in my second semester, graduating with a first class became possible. Now, this is where the problem started.
Actually, I had since long stopped the little job I do every break because the nature of my course of study did not afford me with the luxury of going home since my 200 level 2nd semester. So, it has not been easy for me steadily building my grade. There're times I just decide to quit, but when I imagine the expression on my siblings faces, that subtle glint of hope that appear on their faces anytime I sing them promises of a better life, I just reopen the textbook before me, even on an empty stomach, I still manage to read. I had never before asked for financial assistance from anyone because I believe a man has to tell his own success story, but my present predicament is beyond my power, or that of my benefactor...

...It was like a dream the day my phone got stolen alongside my project work and project source materials. I am running a double degree programme, one that awards you with two degrees, so, reading had always been a huge task for me. In the early hours of the day I was to write the last exam for one of my degree programmes, my phone got stolen while I was taking a power nap from my exhausting course material. It took the grace of God coupled with the little mental strength I have not to have brokendown, because I still had an exam to write, eventhough I just lost my project work and the fact that the course material of the exam I was to write in the morning were all on my phone. Where do I start from now! Who did I offend! All these I asked myself immediately I finished that exam. I had been borrowing a laptop to write my project while I saved them on my phone. But these people I borrowed laptops from already went home...

Then ASUU struck, and we were asked to go home due to the convid-19 pandmic. To me, it was like a blessing in disguise because I could now go home to gather funds by working through majority of the break and work on my project with the little time left. But this was not to happen. It has been 3 weeks since the lockdown, I don't have a project work to submit to my supervisor. When people ask; "Are you done". I smile and reply with yes I have, but deep down inside me I am greatly troubled. I just read on the news yesterday that the federal government has decided to pay varsity lecturers, which means that by next week, my problem will catch up to me. Please nairalanders, my problem might seem unimportant or frivolous, but I don't see a solution in sight. Please I need a laptop! Even if it's scrap, provided that I can access ms word on it, I will forever be indebted to you. All my hard work is about to be flushed down the drain due to this little big problem I have.
I am sorry if I took much of your time...

Please my people, help me. I believe someone here might just have a laptop lying down redundandantly. Even if it is not good, provided I can type with it, please help me. Thanks in anticipation

Esanpikin:
Please my people, help me. I believe someone here might just have a laptop lying down redundandantly. Even if it is not good, provided I can type with it, please help me. Thanks in anticipation

if someone decides to send you a laptop, how will you get it since there is a lockdown and no movement.

schumastic:


if someone decides to send you a laptop, how will you get it since there is a lockdown and no movement.

Thanks for taking the time to reply kind sir. I am currently around ogun state, mowe to be precise. I'd hoped to meet someone in the same location as I since there is sparse movement here. If not, maybe when this lockdown is over.

Esanpikin:

Thanks for taking the time to reply kind sir. I am currently around ogun state, mowe to be precise. I'd hoped to meet someone in the same location as I since there is sparse movement here. If not, maybe when this lockdown is over.

i will send you a mail.

R

Esanpikin:
It is funny and quite painful also that as everyone is eargerly anticipating the end of this lockdown period, I am busy dreading every second that propels my witnessing the last day of this break.
I had since been reticent about coming out here with the cause of my insomnia and constant depressive mood due to the cyber bashing and foul namecalling that usually follows. Then I thought to myself, why don't you put yourself out there by the road and see if you might get picked, or at most, get ran over. Also, coupled with the fact that I have recently read testimonies here on how some kind nairalanders have been of some form of assistance or the other to a depressed person, as I am now, I then decided to share my problem here also.
I beg your pardon if my post seem lengthy, please bear with me.

LOL may sense fall on you...and thick skin.
Go UTC go see how men Dem dey make moves. Nwanna better fasten your seat belt wherever you are and pray they call off this yeye lockdown.
Why should you be sad when you ain't famous..?
Name-calling and cyber bashing should not be taken to heart. Social media is an illusion.
Even me wey dey famous no too send. Na real life outright disrespect dey move me, those days.
Now I do clapback in the real world. No mercy. Don't care if you are a pawn. Be like Nock.

schumastic:


i will send you a mail.

Sir, I replied your mail but I think my e-mail has been deactivated by Google. Maybe they felt a security threat due to the small phone or outdated browser I'm using.

It is well

NockMedia:

LOL may sense fall on you...and thick skin.
Go UTC go see how men Dem dey make moves. Nwanna better fasten your seat belt wherever you are and pray they call off this yeye lockdown.
Why should you be sad when you ain't famous..?
Name-calling and cyber bashing should not be taken to heart. Social media is an illusion.
Even me wey dey famous no too send. Na real life outright disrespect dey move me, those days.
Now I do clapback in the real world. No mercy. Don't care if you are a pawn. Be like Nock.

Thanks sir. All I just need is help. Eventhough, I am not rich, I am not used to this. I've always believed in working for what I need. Forgive my naivety.

Esanpikin:

Thanks sir. All I just need is help. Eventhough, I am not rich, I am not used to this. I've believed in working for what I need. Forgive my naivety.

Your sins have been forgiven.

I pray you find help bro.....and all the best in your endeavours.

Anfieldboss:
I pray you find help bro.....and all the best in your endeavours.

hmm...thanks brother. This is a leap of faith for me. Nothing I can say or do can change anything. I just believe if I'm to receive help, I surely will.

My dear,your story touched me. But due to different ways of internet frauds, I challenge you to disclose most of your identity:
Your sex,
". State,
". School,
". Full name.

Okay sir. Can I send it to your mail instead? @Frank4jesus

Should i be sincere with you but the problem is if you will adhere to my advice.
Stop, logg out or even block all your social medias. Be out with them for like 3-4weeks and see if there will be a change in your life.
Be safe.

Esanpikin:
It is funny and quite painful also that as everyone is eargerly anticipating the end of this lockdown period, I am busy dreading every second that propels my witnessing the last day of this break.
I had since been reticent about coming out here with the cause of my insomnia and constant depressive mood due to the cyber bashing and foul namecalling that usually follows. Then I thought to myself, why don't you put yourself out there by the road and see if you might get picked, or at most, get ran over. Also, coupled with the fact that I have recently read testimonies here on how some kind nairalanders have been of some form of assistance or the other to a depressed person, as I am now, I then decided to share my problem here also.
I beg your pardon if my post seem lengthy, please bear with me.

I need God's help and divine intervention.

Those who really need help have not data to browse let alone a smartphone..

Mrlouis:
Those who really need help have not data to browse let alone a smartphone..

Everyone has a problem, either family, relationship, education, hunger, illness and so on. I thank God for the privilege and courage to express my pain online. Hmm...I am typing with a small china phone.

Esanpikin:
Okay sir. Can I send it to your mail instead? @Frank4jesus

yes you can

Frank4jesus:
yes you can

I sent you a mail already, please reply.