The title seems self-explanatory so I’ll be short with this one.

For those in committed relationships like marriage and other long term relationships.

What gives you confidence that your partner isn’t cheating or hasn’t cheated on you?

Have you tested them and found them trustworthy?

Or do you just believe that they are faithful just out of faith?

And for those of us with severe commitment issues, what advice can you proffer as far as trusting your partner goes?

Serious and mature answers only, please. Thanks.

LeRabbite:
The title seems self-explanatory so I’ll be short with this one.

For those in committed relationships like marriage and other long term relationships.

What gives you confidence that your partner isn’t cheating or hasn’t cheated on you?

Have you tested them and found them trustworthy?

Or do you just believe that they are faithful just out of faith?

And for those of us with severe commitment issues, what advice can you proffer as far as trusting your partner goes?

Serious and mature answers only, please. Thanks.

BEFORE YOU RUIN YOUR BEST RELATIONSHIPS ON SUSPICION... simply ask and if they lie, just know the truth will come out... IN THIS LIFE, IF YOU LOOK FOR ANYTHING WRONG IN A PERSON YOU WILL ALWAYS FIND IT... meanwhile even you are not a saint.

ikh777:


BEFORE YOU RUIN YOUR BEST RELATIONSHIPS ON SUSPICION... simply ask and if they lie, just know the truth will come out... IN THIS LIFE, IF YOU LOOK FOR ANYTHING WRONG IN A PERSON YOU WILL ALWAYS FIND IT... meanwhile even you are not a saint.

What is the benefit to me if I find out after 22 years I’ve been raising someone else’s child?

And when you say you’ll always find something wrong, do you mean everybody is unfaithful in their relationships?

When someone haven't acted in a way that makes you suspicious and doubt their faithfulness, it's better not to worry yourself about it. It's called presumption of innocence, and every healthy relationship should be built on this.

To answer your question, observe if she is unnecessarily secretive, guarding her phone unprovoked, saying words that doesnt hard up, changes in behaviour (especially if she become less attached), not picking some certain calls in your presence (or picking and deferring the conversation), you irritate her for no reason, and doesnt care much about your affairs.

Normally, woman cheat to go out of a relationship. If her emotional (and/or financial) needs are not met, she may seek for it elsewhere. If she is a woman that loves you genuinely, it won't be difficult to know if she is cheating on you.

LeRabbite:
The title seems self-explanatory so I’ll be short with this one.
For those in committed relationships like marriage and other long term relationships.
What gives you confidence that your partner isn’t cheating or hasn’t cheated on you?

dont care as i cant stress and/or focus on something negative i have no clue about... unless i have any clues that she is cheating on me, i have no reason to believe that my woman would be cheating.

Have you tested them and found them trustworthy?

i cant test people out of my own low self esteem/insecurity... thats childish and a sure way to destroy all the trust someone has for you.

Or do you just believe that they are faithful just out of faith?

its called TRUST...

And for those of us with severe commitment issues, what advice can you proffer as far as trusting your partner goes?

if you cant trust anyone then you will never find anyone, and instead will only live or die with stress/worries... thats a waste of life..
here is a clue: if your babe cheats on you, then the problem is HER not you, so just dump her and find someone who appreciates/deserves to be with you.

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MrBrownJay1:


dont care as i cant stress and/or focus on something negative i have no clue about... unless i have any clues that she is cheating on me, i have no reason to believe that my woman would be cheating.

You may have no clue, but wouldn’t you want to know they were trustworthy to a reasonable extent before committing to them?

I cant test people out of my own low self esteem/insecurity... thats childish and a sure way to destroy all the trust someone has for you.

Insecurities exist because there are factors that cause a lack of faith in the security system. Nigerians have burglar-proof grills because they have insecurities.

its called TRUST...

So, you just trust someone because they agreed to date/marry you?

if you cant trust anyone then you will never find anyone, and instead will only live or die with stress/worries... thats a waste of life..
here is a clue: if your babe cheats on you, then the problem is HER not you, so just dump her and find someone who appreciates/deserves to be with you.

How do you know someone who deserves to be with you when you really don’t know what they’re doing if you aren’t there?

LeRabbite:
You may have no clue, but wouldn’t you want to know they were trustworthy to a reasonable extent before committing to them?

there is no point in me worrying about something i have absolutely NO CONTROL of... if i had the slightest hint that she was deceitful/unfaithful then that would be a different issue, but until then, i see no reason whatsoever to bother about such issue.

Insecurities exist because there are factors that cause a lack of faith in the security system. Nigerians have burglar-proof grills because they have insecurities.

you are mistaking being insecure (aka worrying about something that aint there) with questioning an issue that you may have with your woman.

So, you just trust someone because they agreed to date/marry you?

i give anyone the benefit of the doubt without acting like a damn fool....therefore, i certainly wont automatically believe that my woman is cheating on me, unless she gives me reason to believe that she does. remember, just because i trust someone doesnt mean i will hand over my CC pin to a stranger.. there is a huge difference between trusting a person you are dating and being a fool.

How do you know someone who deserves to be with you when you really don’t know what they’re doing if you aren’t there?

through our interaction and her actions, i will know whether someone deserves to be with me or not. if she makes me feel good, the vibe is great between us and she is the kinda woman i dig, then its on....
i couldnt care less what people are doing when i am not there, i cant worry about this kind of foolishness, if you want to live your life believing that everything is negative and everyone is bad then pls do so, but i have better things to do in my life than to worry/stress about IFs/MAYBEs everytime my woman gets out the door. ultimately, if she wants to go fukc around then so be it, life goes on!