crossfm:
just began reading your work few days back.you are really doing gr8.
More ink to your pen.

my head don bomb, thank you sir..

Elvictor:


my head don bomb, thank you sir..

its just the truth.you wan kill me with laugh.

Elvictor:

am good. is just PHCN oh

Ok ooo... Its well

Elvictor:


yellow sun, stand outside when em come out... lol

Op yellow sun, abeg i no lack Vit D for body...

I drop cap for oga landlord, the great honourable talk and do... Nice update OP

Me: guy, how you do am?
Ugochukwu: dey there, you wan die like fowl bah?
I go cook myself.
Me: them cook you for egusi soup or okoro soup?.....




this part really crack me up .
more ink to ur pen op.

Elvictor:

PHCN carry my ink run, no vex... am here now.

Baba, I sight you. Welcome back

Oga landlord we dey wait ooo abi nahnah honourable

crossfm:
its just the truth.you wan kill me with laugh.

i no know if you no tell me, lol.. no die with laugh oh

Lakesc:
Op yellow sun, abeg i no lack Vit D for body...

na the requirement to be superman I dey give you so, lol.

arfezces:
I drop cap for oga landlord, the great honourable talk and do... Nice update OP

thank God, I no go buy the cap wey I wan buy again... lol, thanks bro

PrinceMon101:
Baba, I sight you. Welcome back

such a gentleman with good sight, lol.

yungbanks:
Oga landlord we dey wait ooo abi nahnah honourable

sorry for the wait... i never reach honourable, but we dey read about honourable.

OGA LANDLORD 21+




Subtitle: Fu*ck Fakers.





Episode 48



Ugochukwu: *groan* guy go first na, just give me like two minutes?

Me: go where? two minutes kwa? Shantel, go inside.

She walked away and I asked one of the bodyguard to follow her, the thing sweet me die.
Ugochukwu was just frowning, wetin concern me?

Me: guy, we need to find another place to stay, here too expensive for us.

Ugochukwu: I dey very close, the babe don dey enjoy the sweet talk. You just appear from nowhere scatter everything.

Me: *I hiss* I don go, except say only you wan remain for here.


I went with the two bodyguards while Ugochukwu ran after me.

Ugochukwu: guy, how far na? you no go get meetings with excos?

Me: I don already prepare plan. Make we go my yard.

We went inside the hotel and got ready to leave, I packed my things Shantel didn't really came with anything so we just got out of the hotel after I checked out.

Shantel and I entered Ugochukwu's car, while the three bodyguards took another car to escort us. I come dey feel my celebrity status.

Ugochukwu: allow the girl to come sit down for front na.

Me: *Shantel just dey smile* I no understand, her yansh dey scratch her as she sit down for back?

Ugochukwu: you nodey do me well oh, I be your paddy man.

I didn't bother to discuss with him before he will run into a car that will land me in a hospital, Shantel is a very shy girl. She no even talk anything as we dey drive, we already got out of the GRA residence when she suddenly started.

Her eyes colored white suddenly.

Shantel: they are coming.. *mumbling*

Me: *fear give me smackdown* who dey come?

Shantel: they are coming *mumbling incoherently*

I just confused, I held Shantel and shook her repeatedly asking her who is coming na.
Her eyes returned back to normal, and suddenly she was terrified the way I was shaking her and panicking.

Me: who dey come?

Shantel: I don't understand, sir.

Ugochukwu: guy my on AC, this one you dey sweat like say you just come out from swimming pool.

Isn't easy to reason when they are telling you that your death is on its way.

Me: guy, stop this car.

Ugochukwu: you sure say you dey ok....

Just then a car sped past us and pulled over at the front of our car, I didn't know what to do. One gun man came out of the car and I bent down immediately.

Me: Ugo, abeg cover me.

Ugochukwu: I no be Jesus Christ to cover you with any blood.

Me: Shantel go be your babe *naso war start oh!*

The security that Madam Stella gave to me shot the gun man and he fell down, I don dey shiver oh.
As if say them blow whistel, three gun men came down and started shooting at our car.

I covered my ears and bent down, Shantel have already fainted, na wa oh!

Ugochukwu: you sure?

Me: them wan kill us you still dey talk about puna.

He opened the car and came down, I no even gree raise my head. As bullets have started shattering the car widescreen and mirrors, some broken glasses dropped on my body. Na different gun shots I just dey hear for more than ten minutes before it stopped.

The car back door car opened and my heart jumped out of my mouth. I don close my eyes dey beg the person.

Me: don't kill me, I no go near politics till I die.

Ugochukwu: all these confession na for wetin?

Me: *I open my eyes and hiss* you no go fit do something gentle gentle for once.

Ugochukwu: come down na, them don shoot one of your security.

I quickly slapped Shantel till she woke up, I came down and she hurriedly came down shivering. The streets was deserted already, some cars were parked on the road without the owner.

I looked towards the car and saw our assailants all dead, see blood and dead bodies for ground.
We hurriedly went inside the car of our escort, luckily they haven't 'caused any major damage to the car. I sat with one of the security at the front, while the other one was tending to the one shot who was struggling for his life.

Ugochukwu: Shantel, sit down for my laps. No space here again oh.

I looked back sharply.

Me: sit down for which laps?

Ugochukwu: remember our agreement oh.

Me: who and you do agreement, see Shantel come front my go sit down for em laps.

Ugochukwu: tufiaaa! God forbid, see ready to fight your battle alone, I dey go Aba back today today.

Me: Shantel why you still dey wait? sit down na.

If this guy travel back to Aba na suicide be that oh!

We quickly drove to a nearby hospital, immediately we parked our car.
The driver ran inside the hospital and notified the emergency ward, they rolled bed out of the hospital while we helped the dying young man out of the car and placed it on the bed.

His I.D card didn't make the hospital people to ask for police report, no go receive bullet as civilian oh! You go just die like fowl.

My phone started ringing and I brought it out, it was Madam Stella.

Madam Stella: are you okay?

My people make ona no vex, person wey go shake hands with hades come back dey dey okay?

TBC...

OGA LANDLORD 21+



Subtitle: Fu*ck Fakers.




Episode 49


Me: am far from being okay, you fit help me with more soldiers?

Madam Stella: no problem, I will send in more tomorrow, we will talk later.

She was also busy arranging things in order for her husband re-run election, immediately I ended the call. We entered inside the car, Ugochukwu was persuading Shantel to sit on his laps while there is enough space, ho-rny bastard!

She turned him down and em sweet me make I no lie, we drove to a guest house that isn't far from the hall that Madam Stella gave me to carry out any political activities freely..

We went to the receptionist and booked two rooms, Ugochukwu was insisting it should be three so that we can give Shantel privacy, na lie! you wan fu-ck her!!
I no gree sha... I opted for two rooms and I suggested to him, he should get his own room while Shantel share mine with me.

He didn't welcome the idea so he moved in with me and Shantel, I just dey smell funny. I desperately needed a bath that evening.

I took some clothes in my hands and hung my towel on my shoulder, pulled off my shirt and removed my trouser.

Ugochukwu: this one you dey naked hope you never mad?

Me: you for tell me say you no dey see again, I wear boxer.

Ugochukwu: for your mind say your boxer dey cover anything, I dey see your cassava shape.

Me: no even think am, even though I be gay, I no go even look your kroo kroo buttocks.

I dragged myself to the bathroom, Ugochukwu was so happy that am finally leaving them alone. He pounced on that opportunity, and he was all over Shantel.

I took my bath sharp sharp before that guy will fi-nger the innocent young girl, I even forgot to rub cream in the bathroom and I came out already dressed up. Before I realized my mistake, I was already out of the bathroom staring at Ugochukwu who had held hands with Shantel.

Ugochukwu: you know say I dey hawk your matter, you are so beautiful Shantel. I can't get you off my mind, my heart beats Shantel Shantel not gbuu! gbuu! anymore.

Shantel: am sorry, am not yet ready for any relationship.

Eyaa! I come dey feel for my rejected brother and friend, the moment he saw me. His mood lit up and he winked at me, I pretended that I don't know what he wanted me to do.

Ugochukwu: *scratching his head* guy, I wan enter Aba tonight oh!

This one na another form of blackmailing oh.

Me: Shantel since you are the goddess, and he is the chief priest. Give him a chance na, let there be peace in the land.

Ugochukwu: guy?

Me: wetin happen? You no like her again?

Shantel: *Shantel shift away uncomfortably from* is he a chief priest?

Me: no.

Ugochukwu: is like na only you go fight your battles oh!

Me: babe, I know you like my friend. Just give him a chance, try and think about it.

Shantel: alright, sir... I will.

Ugochukwu: my real gee *thunder are you sleeping?*

Me: go baf, we get mission.. Shantel, you can go down and have something to eat.

I gave her some cash and she quickly disappeared from the room, Ugochukwu went inside the bathroom whistling happily.

I unclad myself and quickly rubbed cream, after some minutes Ugochukwu came out of the bathroom looking scared. I come dey wonder why.

Ugochukwu: I no trust this juju man wey do me this native bullet proof.

Me: I no understand, no be only you kill those assassins?

Ugochukwu: na me na, gun nodey enter me.. *he raise his armpit*

Me: you dey advertise shaving stick, who say make you raise hand?

Ugochukwu: be serious for once, you nodey see wound?

Me: mumu... Hahahaha *I start laughing*

Ugochukwu: wetin give the talk comic effect?

Me: so, you expect juju to enter that your arm pit, you wan endanger the juju life. O dey shi nodey arm pit oh!

TBC..

Nice work and also really long update. Kudos.

Okoye really mean business o, anyway,he will soon be same... Thanks for the update

Elvictor:


na the requirement to be superman I dey give you so, lol.

Op, u funny die..

DarkGamer:
Nice work and also really long update. Kudos.

burst my brains

arfezces:
Okoye really mean business o, anyway,he will soon be same... Thanks for the update

who dey joke with power and money?

Lakesc:
Op, u funny die..

lol... i wan make u superman oh

OGA LANDLORD 21+



Subtitle: Fu*ck Fakers.



Episode 50



Ugochukwu: guy, em no funny at all. What if someone mistakenly shoot me for arm pit nkor?

Me: the odour of your armpit go nullify the bullet, wetin juju nofit conquer na bullet go do am?

Ugochukwu: *hiss* I don see am say you nodey serious at all.

Me: abeg, dress up make we commot here before Shantel go come see your dangler.

Ugochukwu: na wetin I want na, so that she go see wetin she dey miss.

Me: dreamer, do na.. Very soon five pm go reach.

I stood and the idiot started ransacking the bag I came to the hotel with, my brain no understand wetin dey happen so I need to transmit message through my mouth to the otondo.

Me: guy? you naked and na my bag you dey search so.

Ugochukwu: and so?

Me: hope say no be wetin dey my mind you dey try do?

Ugochukwu: if no be wetin dey your mind na wetin dey your head.

He brought out my versace and flung on the bed, and brought out my Gucci shirt I bought... Make I no tell you because it is doing me to kill somebody.

Me: guy na two companies you wan wear so?

Ugochukwu: I know, na em make I bring them out. You get eyes for better thing oh!

Me: put them back before I explain why Buhari loose elections for ten years.

Ugochukwu: my follow you naked?

Me: so you naked enter this hotel, o shey Adam?

Ugochukwu: o shey village people, it have dirty. I go just vex go Aba back oh.

Me: person nofit joke with, wear the Gucci pans I bring come sef.

Ugochukwu: better pikin.

He finally dressed up and got ready to follow me, he was just smiling. Igbo man them no go go market buy better thing put for body na to wear them sabi, just then Shantel entered the room smiling.

Shantel: are you people leaving?

Me: y... *Ugochukwu cover my mouth*

Ugochukwu: my love am always he... *i bite em finger* aaahhh! omor vampire!

Me: no cover my mouth again oh.

Shantel: eyaa! sorry oh.

Me: we are coming, you can go and stay with the securities in the next room if you are scared.

Ugochukwu wan start to preach love but I no gree, I dragged him away and we went out of the guest house, we headed to the parking lot after stepping out of the building.
He took charge of the steering while I sat beside him as the oga on top, he ignited the engine and we drove out of the gate.

Ugochukwu: I for no follow you oh, you don spoil the opportunity wey the girl don fall for me.

Me: na everyday this your Shantel dey fall for you.

Ugochukwu: yes na, I no blame you. You no know wetin be love, anytime you see girl na her unclothedness you go picture walking, and the next thing na how to enter her puna.

Me: o shey Romeo, na traditional market we dey go.

Ugochukwu: alaye! Wetin we dey go do for that kind place?

Me: I wan open shrine.

We started gisting as we drove on, when we got to the market we went about buy native stuffs, like ancient eagle egg. Nothing ancient there sha.. na just to make the thing expensive, we even bought ofor and a hen.
I got native chalk and some red clothe, with chief priest anklet. I bought a old clay pot and asked the owner of the shop to prepare it as charm, he did a wonderful job and everything was looking like a spirit is inside the clay pot.

As we carried everything to the booth, people were just looking at us like we are children of satan. All these christians sha.. Them no go mind their business, they will be searching for enemies to pray against and testify on.

We entered inside the car...

Ugochukwu: so wetin you talk na truth?

Me: I no understand..

Ugochukwu: say you wan open shrine.

Me: God forbid bad thing.

Ugochukwu: so wetin you wan use all these shrine materials do?

TBC..

Nice one...is honourable talk and do turn to deal with the bastard... let me fold my arms and see the next thing

Elvictor, I dey suspect you o. You sure say u neva turn herbalist? Anyways, for your information , that juju materials neva complete, u suppose add vulture skull. Nice update bro

Op, thanks for the updates. See what happens next

Oga Landlord, The only Honourable talk and do wan add Native Doctor to him credentials sha

Op I don come back abeg update ooo

arfezces:
Nice one...is honourable talk and do turn to deal with the bastard... let me fold my arms and see the next thing

I fit fold arms too? lol

Dbeautyy:
Elvictor, I dey suspect you o. You sure say u neva turn herbalist? Anyways, for your information , that juju materials neva complete, u suppose add vulture skull. Nice update bro

I be born-again oh, lol

Lakesc:
Op, thanks for the updates. See what happens next

today you no suspect me, lol

Vitalvector2017:
Oga Landlord, The only Honourable talk and do wan add Native Doctor to him credentials sha

Op I don come back abeg update ooo

nice to have you back, clicks

OGA LANDLORD 21+



Subtitle: Fu*ck Fakers.



Episode 51



Me: all those things I buy na to confuse the enemies na.

Ugochukwu: how you wan take confuse with shrine materials?

Me: you too dey ask mumu questions, abeg focus with the driving. My reason my next move.

Ugochukwu: hope say this your next move no go land us for hospital or mortuary.

Me: if you wan visit mortuary, abeg park the car for there make I come down. I be the only son of my parents.

I hissed and a name came into my mind, my tenant Ishi. Yes, that guy looks like juju himself. He has a very big head and probing eyes that looks like the real eyes of the gods, and he always act strange. Always costuming himself as a native doctor, yes... I need to call him oh.

I pulled out my phone from my breast pocked and searched my contact list and called him, it rung twice before he finally picked.

Ishi: Honourable talk and do! where you dey na? people dey always come fine you, we even hear rumours say you die.

Me: God forbid, na there papa and mama with their ancestors wey go die.

Ishi: thank God say you dey alive oh, who godey tip me.. sha... I for dey live free for your house in case you decide say you wan die.

Me: you don't mean it, see I dey serious. I go text you one guest house address, meet me for that place. No tell anybody oh.

Ishi: trust me, nobody go hear pim.


I ended the call afterwards, immediately we got to the hotel, I dialed my bank manager's number and he quickly picked the call.

Manager: hello sir..

Me: Ben, abeg bring eight million come this address, I go send am for you later.

I ended the call and texted him a different guest house address, I have learnt to trust nobody. Ugochukwu and I walked inside the guest house, we were talking and gisting while we walked on the hallway. Immediately we got to a room, we started hearing funny sounds.

Ugochukwu: no be your room be this? that voice look like Shantel own.

Me: *I first look the room's number, na 244 while my own na 242* na truth oh, see the way she dey mo-an dey enjoy the prick.

Ugochukwu: *he look at me with red eyes* wetin be that?

Me: no vex na, I think say, you say my confirm your suspicious.

Ugochukwu: *start banging on the door* open this door, before I break it... Shantel.. Why you break my heart like that?

Me: guy calm down oh.

Ugochukwu: *shouting* I nofit calm down, I go beat and kill that idiot chopping my Shantel inside that room.

Me: em never reach killing matter oh.

Ugochukwu: em don pass, ooohhh! I go break this door, open this door!!!

I just rested my back on the wall of the hallway, let him mad alone. I no even get single strength to stop angry jealous man, the door creak and I peeped to see a body builder stepping out of the door. Ugochukwu both hands that he intended to slam on the door was hanging in the air.

Ugochukwu: *he swallow hard* g..oo..d evening, sir.

Body builder: *barking like bulldog* na you be the person dey disturb me when I dey enjoy my girlfriend?!

Ugochukwu: no... no... I dey craze? I just know the girl... I wan confirm if you need more girls the way she nodey make you moa-n.

Body builder: wey the girl you wan give me?! before I design your face.

I first adjusted a little from the door giving it social distancing from any intending suicidal punch, a girl came out of the room with towel tied around her body. Her hair was messy and she has long legs with cute face, even though the rough se-x have tempered with her beauty, the girl look sweet.

Just then Shantel appeared at the hallway coming out of our room, immediately she saw us she was surprised.
The body builder grabbed Ugochukwu collar and raised him up, his legs started shaking.

Shantel: sir, good evening. What is happening here?

Body builder: *his chest vibrating* wey the girl you bring?

Ugochukwu pointed at Shantel immediately with his right hand.

TBC...