TheAfricaQueen:
Marriage is seen as an attainment of success and independence for a man and for a woman it means she is truly desired and that she will not be left on the shelf. They spend hundreds of thousands or millions on their wedding, they litter their social media with magnificent pictures of the wedding day and honeymoon, they try to induce envy amongst their families and single friends. They smugly ask their single family members/friends why they are not married and tell them they should hurry up and that time is ticking particularly for the women.

The reality is many married couples hate the sight of eachother, how they act in public is all for show, inside they are suffering.

Regarding women, they will be cheated on by their husbands, they might be gas-lighted and subjected to the silent treatment or not returning home treatment if the man doesn't get his way. She may experience physical, psychological or emotional abuse. If the woman has had enough and wants to leave, she is convinced to fast/pray and stay to keep her family together.

Regarding men, they may have thought they married a subservient, docile girl who they believe they can manipulate and control but in fact that girl was an actress just to get a ring on her finger and when she has had her marriage, her true colours shine through, you discover she was not a modest girl after all and by then it's already to late, you may be subjected to emotional/psychological/physical abuse as well. She may cheat on you too with her Exs or a man richer than her husband. However since we are in a patriarchal society she will be thrown out of the house if she is suspected of cheating.

What am I trying to say? Single people be happy where you are and if it's meant to be, you will meet the right person, do not be pressured by society to settle for less than you deserve. The single life is better than a hellish marriage or a divorce.

Thank you.

Bola146:
Thanks so much for the advice.

Enskynelson:
Conduct a survey yourself by searching through NL posts. Do we have more positive posts on marriage or vice versa?
The terrible marriage stories are the ones you see. You see no goodnews here. People having peaceful homes don't come here posting how they have never quarreled since they married. All u see is... "wife poured hot water on husband due to infidelity", "wife stabs husband after husband answers call from a strange woman. " "man commits suicide after borrowing 3M for marriage" and a lot more.
Like someone said above, it is now SCARY. scary because what is said are more of the bad things happening in marriages.

TheAfricaQueen:
Marriage is seen as an attainment of success and independence for a man and for a woman it means she is truly desired and that she will not be left on the shelf. They spend hundreds of thousands or millions on their wedding, they litter their social media with magnificent pictures of the wedding day and honeymoon, they try to induce envy amongst their families and single friends. They smugly ask their single family members/friends why they are not married and tell them they should hurry up and that time is ticking particularly for the women.

The reality is many married couples hate the sight of eachother, how they act in public is all for show, inside they are suffering.

Regarding women, they will be cheated on by their husbands, they might be gas-lighted and subjected to the silent treatment or not returning home treatment if the man doesn't get his way. She may experience physical, psychological or emotional abuse. If the woman has had enough and wants to leave, she is convinced to fast/pray and stay to keep her family together.

Regarding men, they may have thought they married a subservient, docile girl who they believe they can manipulate and control but in fact that girl was an actress just to get a ring on her finger and when she has had her marriage, her true colours shine through, you discover she was not a modest girl after all and by then it's already too late, you may be subjected to emotional/psychological/physical abuse as well. She may cheat on you too with her Exs or a man richer than her husband. However since we are in a patriarchal society she will be thrown out of the house if she is suspected of cheating.

What am I trying to say? Single people be happy where you are and if it's meant to be, you will meet the right person, do not be pressured by society to settle for less than you deserve. The single life is better than a hellish marriage or a divorce.

Thank you.

Jcael:


True. Infact if you muster courage and tell your story that doesn't fit the bad marriage stereotype, you will be seen as absurd.

I guess there's so much emphasis on marriages that turned sour than those that have worked for years unend. Bad marriages is the new normal.

pDudd:


Bad marriages have always been around since the beginning of time. It's now more out in the open because people don't hide it anymore.

Jcael:


True.. Very true bro. But also, you'd agree with me that there are also model marriages that are withstanding everything life throws at them.

pDudd:


That's because the couple decide to fight together and stay together. It takes joint effort.

The reason relationships and marriages is failing these days is simple: Lack of love and selfishness.

Akunwafor:
Ahh.

The "marriage is by force" people will soon come for you.

SavageResponse:

LastProphet:
Only Africans and especially Nigerians see marriage as destiny. You see a graduate of chemical engineering who has never engineered a chemical gets pressured by parents to "settle down" even before young guy is 30. Is why we have low GDP because few have any ambitions beyond just getting married. The pastors elevated marriage to the status of destiny and the mostly half-educated followers bought it. Not everybody will be married, not everybody will have children, not everybody will be poor, not everybody will live long, I don't know what else to say to our people