Nice post but.... I strongly disagree with you coz ladies marry men that are ready . Ladies again just dont want to get married as their sense of reasoning has been clouded by frivolities. They wish they get a man that will grant them everything they see on Instagram forgetting that most stuffs seen on instagram are fake.years ago when the world was still responsible desires were less and thus marriages hold and last because our society was sane then.i am not pointing that money isnt important but I beat my sucurutum in indahboski's voice that frivolities is our problem today.

I rather think it is a lack of vision rather than a lack of resources that hinders the establishment of new families tjrough the institution of marraiges.

Unions, marraiges are all about purpose. Two people coming together to accomplish something. It is in the coming together that resources are generated through the multiplication of wisdom and effort.

The woman is there to enable you 'make it'. I don't know from where this Nigerian concept of 'making it' before marraige came from but it is not presemt in any other society but one so monetised as ours in Nigeria. It is totally wrong. If you can make it on your own you probably donot need to marry.

We need a proper perspective on this thing. The provision of man in marraige is not limited to resources. His primary purpose in the marraige is the provision of leadership, the primary driver of vision and for Christians the primary link with God. Both are responsible to work and resource towards its success.

And ehen your partner is working and resourcing you will be comoelled to resoect that partner as an equal stakeholder in the marraige. That is why we constantly advocate that women create value within themselves in approaching marraige and men discard their traditional patriachial stand which is equally useless.

UndauntedYOCA:

Shouldn't ladies also make their own money?
Marriage is between two people who must work together to ensure things work out, they do so by working together in unity, reasoning together, helping each other, lifting each other, having each other's back. It's not the sole responsibility of a man to cater for his family, if a man is capable of contributing 60-70% then the wife should contributed the rest. Sometimes most men don't grow much because they're left with the burden of footing 90-100% of the bills in the home. Personally, I'd never support that men marry ladies who do not have ambitions, ladies who aren't working towards being financially independent and supportive, ladies who are selfish/stingy, call it whatever. If not for the fact that some men are blinded by ass and boobs, they wouldn't make the wrong choice of marrying alady who has the mentality that a man must foot all the bills, no be una fault, na una preek dey reason. Even if a man isn't financially bouyant, if he has a partner that believes in that two shall become one (that is, working to help the other etc) then he is good good to go, this doesn't suffice to say that women should shoulder all the responsibilities of the home, a woman is called to follow (not to be confused with objectified, while the man leads, the woman follows but not blindly, not like a slave), to help and to love. A faithful and supportive partner is pure bliss (not talking about the biscuit brand o, lol, forgive my very dry sense of humour). Scout and choose widely!

Mehn.... Too much sense in one post..

Well done.

God will help us to help ourselves...

Always blaming men for everything!

You blamed someone for marrying too late 7 years ago and now you are facing the reality, knowing the reason he got married late. Omo to ni Baba oun ko lowo lowo, enu e lo wa yen.
And even after you have matured, at least in age, you still don't know that it is the harsh economy that's causing most of the problems. Still apportioning blame on men. When will you wise up?
You better start getting involve now by looking for a serious lady to build future together and stop waiting for when you will have money as your time is fast tickling away. Before you know it now, you get close to 40 years. And look for what you will add to the skills you' ve got. Don't just depend on your photography job. My candid advice.

Petyprincess:

That's good! Next time you wnt go about insulting ladies nd calling them demeaning names!!

on a serious note, but u know you completly derailed the thread.

Ndubuisipaul1:
At the age of 25 I was mocking a man that got married at the age of 33 I told him that he married too late. Now am 32 I don't even know when I will get married because of lack of money.

Many of our Nigerian girls are not married because ,we guys don't make money on time to marry them. Am 32 no girlfriend ( because I cannot sustain them ) and no plans of marriage , and you are blaming the ladies . Will tree marry them?

Meanwhile I am a professional photographer, and videographer.

Which research did u do to have arrived at ur conclusion? How did u come about d points that u gave?

25tolife:
on a serious note, but u know you completly derailed the thread.

It was already derailed b4 i commented! The guy already stopped posting so hw did i derailed it? You mentioning nd insulting me instead of countering my claims didnt derailed it right? Y'all on travel section dnt like women contributing that the next thing is slut shaming nd name calling because we have different point of views! Nd please stop blaming me instead of accepting y'all nd your insecure cohorts derailed nd made that thread useless the moment you started the name calling!!

Petyprincess:

It was already derailed b4 i commented! The guy already stopped posting so hw did i derailed it? You mentioning nd insulting me instead of countering my claims didnt derailed it right? Y'all on travel section dnt like women contributing that the next thing is slut shaming nd name calling because we have different point of views! Nd please stop blaming me instead of accepting y'all nd your insecure cohorts derailed nd made that thread useless the moment you started the name calling!!

i guess we met in an unfriendly...my guts is telling me you are a nice person.

Oluromantic:
This guy is a strategist. Stylishly seeking working class or connected ladies who would say ...oh he's a good handwork and a bright future, he just need support... It's good but such ladies don't exist on NL

They barely exist in Nigeria, even girls who earn enough to support a man are looking for who will be giving them money.

Ybaby:


Your brain will not die.....

God bless you.

AMEN!

emmaodet:


Ofcourse, likewise women, they should expand their thinking also instead of waiting for a man to go struggle to marry while they waste most of their time on social media

Women are already doing that. But sadly can't pay their bride price. Or do you want women to start paying groom price while they scrap bride price?

Petyprincess:

It was already derailed b4 i commented! The guy already stopped posting so hw did i derailed it? You mentioning nd insulting me instead of countering my claims didnt derailed it right? Y'all on travel section dnt like women contributing that the next thing is slut shaming nd name calling because we have different point of views! Nd please stop blaming me instead of accepting y'all nd your insecure cohorts derailed nd made that thread useless the moment you started the name calling!!

am really sorry 4 all the words i used againt you ,i was angry because the thread was abandoned.i really like real life travel threads, am always active in travel and romance.

can we be E-friends?

rosy1992:
True talk.

Which one is true talk, when una go carry all your family burden put am for the man head ....why em go think of marriage?.....na so one mumu girl dey tell me say if I marry her I will take full responsibility of her family welfare.....I became agape and I didn't say one thing again...the op na foo.l in short na fufu.

blinking001:
Men have suffered in this life. We get blamed for virtually everything that happens in a womans life.

even God blamed Adam for d Apple woman ate

Karleb:
Men get married late too, whom should we blame for that?

...and this is coming from a man?!

Blame the same unemployment, its a very simple thing.

madridsta007:


Marriage is dependent on many variables. One key variable is the economy of the country.
In a growing economy, there would be marriages.
In a recessional economy, there would be less marriages. It is that simple.

When Nigerians were campaigning and chanting "Change" in 2015, I was laughing in my corner. Obviously, the fact that Buhari was a kingpin in bringing in recession and economic downturn was not new; this is clear in Nigeria's past history. However, it appeared that Nigerians didnt realise enough what the consequence of economic disaster would be.
You think there would be Owambes as you had it prior to 2015?

We shouldnt just blame the men. The blame should lie at the feet of those who brought in this regime on Nigerians.

Idiot, don't mess up the thread with your half baked political and economic knowledge. Aniofia!

25tolife:
am really sorry 4 all the words i used againt you ,i was angry because the thread was abandoned.i really like real life travel threads, am always active in travel and romance.

can we be E-friends?

I dnt take it to heart,if not you mentioned me i wouldn't have remembered your moniker sef that to tell you i dnt take nairaland insult to heart! I get trolled daily on nairaland if every words get to me i would have deactivated a long time ago!
Nairaland made me developed thick skin so i have no grudges against you

emmaodet:


Na wa ooo sis, na who vex you now

Lol, no one bro. I just believe in fairness. While this cannot be imposed on anyone, this is my own perspective on how relationship/marriage should be like. I also have brothers and I know what it feels like to be drained by people who are solely dependent on you. If I be man, I no go wan marry woman wey no fit help me at all. I no go like liability at all biko.

Sultty:

U don't need money like Dangote to marry, if u find a really good lady u will be married and achieve in marriage

Without money? Most of my friends aren't married just because they can't afford to feed another stomach. In fact feeding themselves alone is a huge task.

Kekereekun123:
some of them their parents married while squatting. What is wrong in marrying and building with a man

Yes, squatting with money in their accounts, not 500 naira per week while feeding in people's houses.

Lemme mak my point...
Gone are those days wen men work hard and bcom successful in his early 20s ad get married...dis is bcus pussy fucking without marriage was a taboo ad wasn't allowed...as a young guy dat i am,if I'm getting bleeped anytime i want..getting married won't even be in ma schedule only if i feel its time to start a family

Can our ladies stop giving the pussy to anybody dah doesn't put a ring on it

Petyprincess:

I dnt take it to heart,if not you mentioned me i wouldn't have remembered your moniker sef that to tell you i dnt take nairaland insult to heart! I get trolled daily on nairaland if every words get to me i would have deactivated a long time ago!
Nairaland made me developed thick skin so i have no grudges against you

Why did people alway troll you, u must be popular here and alway looking for trouble. Lol

SocialJustice:
They barely exist in Nigeria, even girls who earn enough to support a man are looking for who will be giving them money.

correct

Ndubuisipaul1:
At the age of 25 I was mocking a man that got married at the age of 33 I told him that he married too late. Now am 32 I don't even know when I will get married because of lack of money.

Many of our Nigerian girls are not married because ,we guys don't make money on time to marry them. Am 32 no girlfriend ( because I cannot sustain them ) and no plans of marriage , and you are blaming the ladies . Will tree marry them?

Meanwhile I am a professional photographer, and videographer.

OP seems like I know you in person!
Well this generation of Nigerian youth might be considered the least privileged in our history as a nation. Back in the 80's, 90's and early 2000, it was quite easy to find a well or averagely paying Job immediately after Uni or after learning a trade. it was easier for a young man to find stable grounds to support a family. Now it's all different! millions of unemployed or underemployed graduates roam the streets. The only way out is to migrate, become an entrepreneur (which I think is becoming saturated) or pick up new skills. Now to make this switches require time, patience and resilience, marriage comes into the picture quite later. Do the math and your legible bachelor is well above 35.

Intoboy:
Lemme mak my point...
Gone are those days wen men work hard and bcom successful in his early 20s ad get married...dis is bcus pussy fucking without marriage was a taboo ad wasn't allowed...as a young guy dat i am,if I'm getting bleeped anytime i want..getting married won't even be in ma schedule only if i feel its time to start a family

Can our ladies stop giving the pussy to anybody dah doesn't put a ring on it

wellsaid , we will try

You don't want to marry that's why and that's what's in your mindset, moreover this is the right time for you to know that kind of woman you want that could sustain you when you have nothing, not until you have money and they are running after you. Some might have the money and get married yet don't find peace.

Nooil:


Women are already doing that. But sadly can't pay their bride price. Or do you want women to start paying groom price while they scrap bride price?

Definitely No. I believe in "All hands on deck" policy.
Rub my back, i rub your back type of relationship.
I don't encourage laziness or idleness from any gender.

I am married at the age of 29 as a Banker.

Nothing in my account.
Debt everywhere
No rented house
Was squatting with my friend
Yet my wife said she would marry me, as her name Grace will speak for me. (Na only once my woman don straf in her entire life).

One week into our agreement and commitment of been together forever....... I got a deal of 178,000 been my commission for a purchase of a car.... Na so I rent and moved into my own rented apartment. (I didn't mention that d guy who accommodated me gave me 3 days to leave with my wife), and my miracle happened with a space of a day and d second day I moved out.......

I am happily married, own 3 cars now, a 4bedroom bungalow in Lagos(Dopemu), a father of one and now an SBO in an old generation bank. .
(Started)Nov 2016 - April 2019(Achieved all).








All these stories are not to show off, but to let you know you can start from scratch; from somewhere......... Once you marry/see your own woman (Wife) you will know.......... No pastor, prophet or prayer needed.......



Just start from somewhere....