Acmepreneur:
This my guy is not serious at all.

I used to tell myself change is the only permanent thing in life bla bla bla. And I really believe that once you take the right steps, you can be anything you want to be. This made me to be very soft with people.

When I started dating my Boyfriend, I really was not choosy or judgy. I accepted him without a second thought. I'm not the type of lady that actually do all those lady stuff, I'm a very serious person and I don't play games at all.
My BF is very cool, like not bad looking, normal behaviour etc and I like him a lot.

I'm a very ambitious person, with an extremely big dreams, my boyfriend is also hard working, but I'm not seeing any future at all with his career/prospects/life. When I say I'm with big dreams, it's means I'm working on discovering (new innovations), planning big business that would compete with top brands etc. I'm that big in dreams.

My children is also very important to me, I don't plan for their sufferings at all.
I'm an introvert, I find solace in my aspirations, dreams. I have books I work out those formulas (I mean how I would execute my business plans), I research a lot, think a lot etc

Our fight now

Since day 1, I do tell him to do this and that. I really hate company works, so I would tell him to have savings, and be building something sideways where he works. Also, I wanted him to do Masters, since he said he would love to travel out, he's always saying he hates Nigeria bla bla bla. His dad also wanted him to do Masters, but he's in the crew of Masters is a waste of time, and he can't do Masters in Nigeria bla bla bla

Baby try this business, he would say he doesn't have money, he needs 2 million to start a business etc.

Meanwhile, he doesn't have money to travel out of the country to do Masters, nor 2m to start any business. So I would tell him to manage what he has first, and that would propelled him later, but he likes to talk like illiterates that Masters is meaningless.

Meanwhile, while that is true, those things are just like investment, you don't know when you will see an opportunity to use your Masters certificate, and since he studied computer science, I told him that it can even help him get a job outside Nigeria when he leaves, that it can be useful there. I understand the situation of the country, but not having masters doesn't mean you will get a job as well, so why don't you just have it.

My bf would shut me off, and also his dad, the dad even asked him to take job at the federal university where he works, but my bf said he can't work in that place, this is a federal government job o, he would say the salary is too small and people there already knows him, because his dad is in a big office in the university.

So it won't seem like I'm disturbing him, I went quiet, but might chip it in in discussions, but I don't fight him on those things. He works in a small company, and he rose to the position of a Manager, he spent all his time in office, the little time to waste with his friends. It's a good thing but I'm not comfortable with that, the pay is about 90k, which is not enough for his expenses, also he's the first born.

Fast forward to last year, his dad died, it looks like a film trick to him, he now have to take care of his siblings and mum (mum is nurse, but retired long time ago, her pay is little because it wasn't normal retirement). Everything I was telling him finally came to pass.

He rented an apartment with His friends, he later hated it, and said he wants his own, he went to rent an apartment of 600k (he gathered it from different places and he borrowed), which I really hate and we fought on that as well. Because he could have used the money to secure his life in a better way, since his complain when I told him to start a business is that he doesn't have money bla bla bla

He will not apply for better jobs as well
He's practically doing nothing to grow, and would say he hates Nigeria and he would like to leave, but he can't even apply for scholarships or even google schools.

So this 2020, Jan 1, I started fighting him, that I'm not going to continue with him like that, that he should go apply for MSC, start a business or just do something. He now started saying that he has responsibilities which are his siblings, I told him this is the nonsense, he would do till the year ends, we will fight and later resolve it.

He won't even talk about it, or get reminded, he makes me feel Hus boss is using him. I have told him several times how he would be used and dumped, in fact, he makes me say negatives sometimes, and that's because I have seen people that get dumped while working with companies and they fall back to grass, my mum won't even accept him because he works in a company, small company, not cocacola or big companies. My mum hates company works like shits because we've heard and seen people falling to zero due to company jobs.

The problem
1. He says I'm disturbing his life, and not allowing him to rest

2. I'm not happy with him living that way, with no future, no investment, hes not building himself while working, hes not doing courses, not learning any skills, and I think its too risky.
His current salary is not enough for him, not to talk of me collecting part of it. But he gives me money though, has not been more than 1k, 2k and data subscription which I really appreciate.

3. I can't introduce him to my family because I want him respected. Truth is I don't know what he would say to impress my parents because I'm not even impressed with him. And I want him to be superloved and respected. I believe in first impression would last very long. He has introduced me to his family and all friends

4. He never ask me about my own life, aspirations, advice me etc, I'm always the one to do that. Yesterday he had the gut to tell me I'm not caring because of just two days of not showing care

5. Corona has turned his company outside down and he's highly affected. Just like all what I was telling him finally happened, and he has nothing to fall back at. He has a car,

6. I can't marry him or anyone this way, and I'm getting old, though and I want marriage next year. He said he wants too, but I can't marry him like this. And I don't want to get to late twenties, and he breaks up and I start looking for husband, people would be thinking maybe I have a problem that is why I'm yet to marry, they won't know that its him that caused my delay. Plus I have a very high esteem, so I would hate to be desperate for marriage with a man or be the one to be wanting marriage so much in a relationship

7. Right now, we have temporarily break up, so I'm asking if I should break up or make up? Because he was saying rubbish last night

Note: I'm not a fan of dating and rubbish, I love him very much and I don't want to leave him at all. I don't think there's any man I can date as I do not like dishonesty at all and 95% of men are dishonest. My BF is very honest and good I'm every other aspect

You know what ❓

This guy have proved to you several times that, he can't kill himself

It's either you accept him like that or you leave him the way he is

For the fact that you are on the fast lane and he is on the service lane, just walk away or be ready to carry the family burden

Whether you get married in early twenties or late thirties is not the issue, the issue is getting married to whom you want to be happy with

Acmepreneur:

I'm proud of him, I just want him to be respected. Money and position is respect. I'm a realist, people are not angels, thats what they respect.
I don't visit his parent because I was no where, now I can because I'm better.
Since I discovered how humans are physical, I don't trust anyone with some things again. I live with people physically, if I'm your friend, I know that being nice to you and making you a parasite is the only thing that can sustain the friendship and thus, I keep it like that.
If I want to visit people, I look my best because people are attracted to beauty and money.
I'm going to visit lecturers, I buy gift, thats because that is what would make them think you are a responsible person.
Myself for instance, don't care about materials or physical, I'm a very deep person, that really put me in a mess, and since I got that logic, I'm physical with people.
Coming to your inlaw house with no money, no matter how Godly they are, they will fill somehow. I can't type again, I hope you understand sha

With all the things you've written here, on this thread, I can tell that you're overly manipulative. You're saying masters, business, savings, blah blah. What i see is a person who lives by the 48 laws of power. That's very disgusting. I'll run away from you if I walk a mile in your boyfriend's shoes.

Madam, I won't mince the truth from you like others... You want him to be this, you want him to be that.. What have you done for yourself as a person?... What have you achieved?.... If you are this ambitious as you claim, the guy needs no one to compel him, it becomes an automatic competition as he would want to match up with you ....
All I see is an ambitious lady who is doing nothing for herself but pushing the man beyond his limits for her selfish gains.... You are not even proud to show him to your parents? Smh.... He doesn't deserve you as a wife either .. Selah

Your English and writing skills are atrocious. I’m not sure you’re this highflying and high achieving woman like you claim. If not you would be able to compose a more fluent write up.

Acmepreneur:

Women like me are many, just try not to pick girls that fix nails or like wigs and big hair. Fall for a simple girl

So what exactly is stopping you from traveling abroad and pushing yourself? You simply dream up big ideas and look for someone(bf) to execute them for you? That you are a lady does not mean you cannot be better, earn ur own millions.

slyfoxxjoe:
Your English and writing skills are atrocious. I’m not sure you’re this highflying and high achieving woman like you claim. If not you would be able to compose a more fluent write up.

It's all in her head. She's simply not doing nothing but thinking up idea like an armchair theorist waiting for d bf to execute them. Lol

You didn't even describe yourself a bit.
All I know about you is that you're not yet in your late twenties.
Where do you work?
How much do you earn?
What have you done to grow yourself?

You started you statement very well. You live him right? And you won't to leave him, but you never introduced him to your people bit he did. coz you think he can't fit in, babe I see no love hrere but obsession if you can't kindly pack your loads and allow the young man live his life the way he wants it. Don't impose on people what you want them to be.

First off, marriage is not for fainted minds. It looks like you both are at a stage where you are ready to take the bold step. The question however, is are you the right girl for him and vice versa. It’s good to have ambition in life, to have dreams and aspirations.It’s also great to be over ambitious, on the other side, it can be dangerous as it comes with many sacrifices!
Going to school, learning a trade, getting a job, getting married are all ambition. When it comes to marriage my dear, you both have to be on the same page when it comes to ambition and or over ambition. If you are not on the same page, you will fight quite often, and be unhappy, ultimately resulting in the down fall of your union.
You talked about not wanting your children to suffer, that’s interesting because to you Nigerians, too much money is required to not make children suffer! Have you thought about the future whereby your kids have at least a parent spending lots of quality time with them? As much as money is important, if both parents are always out there chasing after money, all in the name of over ambition, it will no doubt have an adverse effect on how you raise those future kids! Money doesn’t always equal quality.
With all you said about yourself, you definitely have what it takes to be a successful entrepreneur in life, believe you me, that is your calling and there is no shame in that. Your bf on the other hand, seems to be satisfied with a simple life. Note! You can not change him! My advice for you is to break up with this guy and look for someone with the same ambition as yours, good luck if you find one!

so much advice have been given, permit me to ask some questions:

1, Are you born Again? if yes , Have you ever asked God if the said BF is his choice of husband for you?
2.if your Answer to question 1 is yes, Have taken time to pray for him becoming the best you want him to be?

i will advice you to not just be so physical about this matter of a life partner, involve God.


thanks and all the best.

He is a man that does not want to take any risk to advance

He is a kind of what will be will be

What I can see from your story is that you guys are not match dream-wise

It shows that he can not change.

It is either you want to take him and ensure him for the kind of personality he is and face your own style.

He is a man. You cant change him ooo even after marriage

He is from a background that loves white colar job and you are from a background that encourages enterpreneurial,

Thre is nothing wrong if you face your business line and he faces his own career. But I hope he is not a jealous type by the time he discover you are making it more than him and he lost his respect at homwe?

Op quit contracting yourself pls

joyfullyjoyous:
It's better you leave him so he does not end up using u for money rituals.

werey.. Lmao

Jeez girl! We have exactly the same problem, still why I can't marry him, not ready to build not ready to improve and when you try to help/advice him his stupid Ego gets in the way. I just had to leave him alone, I broke up, I'm done.
Now he is claiming broke saying that's y I left him. I know broke when I see one, Dude isn't broke at all, I just don't like that he is already feeling comfortable, I like to grow and I work towards that by God's grace, I can't stand people who get comfortable.

slyfoxxjoe:
Your English and writing skills are atrocious. I’m not sure you’re this highflying and high achieving woman like you claim. If not you would be able to compose a more fluent write up.

hahah English don't make money (na so una dey limit una sef)... I know someone like you, all he knows is speaking big big English yet no common sense.

Mind U,2020 is a pandemic yr oooo,tink of how to survive first ok.

Acmepreneur:
This my guy is not serious at all.

I used to tell myself change is the only permanent thing in life bla bla bla. And I really believe that once you take the right steps, you can be anything you want to be. This made me to be very soft with people.

When I started dating my Boyfriend, I really was not choosy or judgy. I accepted him without a second thought. I'm not the type of lady that actually do all those lady stuff, I'm a very serious person and I don't play games at all.
My BF is very cool, like not bad looking, normal behaviour etc and I like him a lot.

I'm a very ambitious person, with an extremely big dreams, my boyfriend is also hard working, but I'm not seeing any future at all with his career/prospects/life. When I say I'm with big dreams, it's means I'm working on discovering (new innovations), planning big business that would compete with top brands etc. I'm that big in dreams.

My children is also very important to me, I don't plan for their sufferings at all.
I'm an introvert, I find solace in my aspirations, dreams. I have books I work out those formulas (I mean how I would execute my business plans), I research a lot, think a lot etc

Our fight now

Since day 1, I do tell him to do this and that. I really hate company works, so I would tell him to have savings, and be building something sideways where he works. Also, I wanted him to do Masters, since he said he would love to travel out, he's always saying he hates Nigeria bla bla bla. His dad also wanted him to do Masters, but he's in the crew of Masters is a waste of time, and he can't do Masters in Nigeria bla bla bla

Baby try this business, he would say he doesn't have money, he needs 2 million to start a business etc.

Meanwhile, he doesn't have money to travel out of the country to do Masters, nor 2m to start any business. So I would tell him to manage what he has first, and that would propelled him later, but he likes to talk like illiterates that Masters is meaningless.

Meanwhile, while that is true, those things are just like investment, you don't know when you will see an opportunity to use your Masters certificate, and since he studied computer science, I told him that it can even help him get a job outside Nigeria when he leaves, that it can be useful there. I understand the situation of the country, but not having masters doesn't mean you will get a job as well, so why don't you just have it.

My bf would shut me off, and also his dad, the dad even asked him to take job at the federal university where he works, but my bf said he can't work in that place, this is a federal government job o, he would say the salary is too small and people there already knows him, because his dad is in a big office in the university.

So it won't seem like I'm disturbing him, I went quiet, but might chip it in in discussions, but I don't fight him on those things. He works in a small company, and he rose to the position of a Manager, he spent all his time in office, the little time to waste with his friends. It's a good thing but I'm not comfortable with that, the pay is about 90k, which is not enough for his expenses, also he's the first born.

Fast forward to last year, his dad died, it looks like a film trick to him, he now have to take care of his siblings and mum (mum is nurse, but retired long time ago, her pay is little because it wasn't normal retirement). Everything I was telling him finally came to pass.

He rented an apartment with His friends, he later hated it, and said he wants his own, he went to rent an apartment of 600k (he gathered it from different places and he borrowed), which I really hate and we fought on that as well. Because he could have used the money to secure his life in a better way, since his complain when I told him to start a business is that he doesn't have money bla bla bla

He will not apply for better jobs as well
He's practically doing nothing to grow, and would say he hates Nigeria and he would like to leave, but he can't even apply for scholarships or even google schools.

So this 2020, Jan 1, I started fighting him, that I'm not going to continue with him like that, that he should go apply for MSC, start a business or just do something. He now started saying that he has responsibilities which are his siblings, I told him this is the nonsense, he would do till the year ends, we will fight and later resolve it.

He won't even talk about it, or get reminded, he makes me feel Hus boss is using him. I have told him several times how he would be used and dumped, in fact, he makes me say negatives sometimes, and that's because I have seen people that get dumped while working with companies and they fall back to grass, my mum won't even accept him because he works in a company, small company, not cocacola or big companies. My mum hates company works like shits because we've heard and seen people falling to zero due to company jobs.

The problem
1. He says I'm disturbing his life, and not allowing him to rest

2. I'm not happy with him living that way, with no future, no investment, hes not building himself while working, hes not doing courses, not learning any skills, and I think its too risky.
His current salary is not enough for him, not to talk of me collecting part of it. But he gives me money though, has not been more than 1k, 2k and data subscription which I really appreciate.

3. I can't introduce him to my family because I want him respected. Truth is I don't know what he would say to impress my parents because I'm not even impressed with him. And I want him to be superloved and respected. I believe in first impression would last very long. He has introduced me to his family and all friends

4. He never ask me about my own life, aspirations, advice me etc, I'm always the one to do that. Yesterday he had the gut to tell me I'm not caring because of just two days of not showing care

5. Corona has turned his company outside down and he's highly affected. Just like all what I was telling him finally happened, and he has nothing to fall back at. He has a car,

6. I can't marry him or anyone this way, and I'm getting old, though and I want marriage next year. He said he wants too, but I can't marry him like this. And I don't want to get to late twenties, and he breaks up and I start looking for husband, people would be thinking maybe I have a problem that is why I'm yet to marry, they won't know that its him that caused my delay. Plus I have a very high esteem, so I would hate to be desperate for marriage with a man or be the one to be wanting marriage so much in a relationship

7. Right now, we have temporarily break up, so I'm asking if I should break up or make up? Because he was saying rubbish last night

Note: I'm not a fan of dating and rubbish, I love him very much and I don't want to leave him at all. I don't think there's any man I can date as I do not like dishonesty at all and 95% of men are dishonest. My BF is very honest and good I'm every other aspect

You love him and still go ahead to post this rubbish? All I hear talk and obviously you’re no different than usual gold digger. You have all this dreams and ambitions, yet you want him to take care of you and give you money? You sit down telling what to do, what about what he wants to do? Who told you masters degree is requirement for success? You’re definitely not good for him and I wish he realizes that early enough to walk awa!

Acmepreneur:
This my guy is not serious at all.

I used to tell myself change is the only permanent thing in life bla bla bla. And I really believe that once you take the right steps, you can be anything you want to be. This made me to be very soft with people.

When I started dating my Boyfriend, I really was not choosy or judgy. I accepted him without a second thought. I'm not the type of lady that actually do all those lady stuff, I'm a very serious person and I don't play games at all.
My BF is very cool, like not bad looking, normal behaviour etc and I like him a lot.

I'm a very ambitious person, with an extremely big dreams, my boyfriend is also hard working, but I'm not seeing any future at all with his career/prospects/life. When I say I'm with big dreams, it's means I'm working on discovering (new innovations), planning big business that would compete with top brands etc. I'm that big in dreams.

My children is also very important to me, I don't plan for their sufferings at all.
I'm an introvert, I find solace in my aspirations, dreams. I have books I work out those formulas (I mean how I would execute my business plans), I research a lot, think a lot etc

Our fight now

Since day 1, I do tell him to do this and that. I really hate company works, so I would tell him to have savings, and be building something sideways where he works. Also, I wanted him to do Masters, since he said he would love to travel out, he's always saying he hates Nigeria bla bla bla. His dad also wanted him to do Masters, but he's in the crew of Masters is a waste of time, and he can't do Masters in Nigeria bla bla bla

Baby try this business, he would say he doesn't have money, he needs 2 million to start a business etc.

Meanwhile, he doesn't have money to travel out of the country to do Masters, nor 2m to start any business. So I would tell him to manage what he has first, and that would propelled him later, but he likes to talk like illiterates that Masters is meaningless.

Meanwhile, while that is true, those things are just like investment, you don't know when you will see an opportunity to use your Masters certificate, and since he studied computer science, I told him that it can even help him get a job outside Nigeria when he leaves, that it can be useful there. I understand the situation of the country, but not having masters doesn't mean you will get a job as well, so why don't you just have it.

My bf would shut me off, and also his dad, the dad even asked him to take job at the federal university where he works, but my bf said he can't work in that place, this is a federal government job o, he would say the salary is too small and people there already knows him, because his dad is in a big office in the university.

So it won't seem like I'm disturbing him, I went quiet, but might chip it in in discussions, but I don't fight him on those things. He works in a small company, and he rose to the position of a Manager, he spent all his time in office, the little time to waste with his friends. It's a good thing but I'm not comfortable with that, the pay is about 90k, which is not enough for his expenses, also he's the first born.

Fast forward to last year, his dad died, it looks like a film trick to him, he now have to take care of his siblings and mum (mum is nurse, but retired long time ago, her pay is little because it wasn't normal retirement). Everything I was telling him finally came to pass.

He rented an apartment with His friends, he later hated it, and said he wants his own, he went to rent an apartment of 600k (he gathered it from different places and he borrowed), which I really hate and we fought on that as well. Because he could have used the money to secure his life in a better way, since his complain when I told him to start a business is that he doesn't have money bla bla bla

He will not apply for better jobs as well
He's practically doing nothing to grow, and would say he hates Nigeria and he would like to leave, but he can't even apply for scholarships or even google schools.

So this 2020, Jan 1, I started fighting him, that I'm not going to continue with him like that, that he should go apply for MSC, start a business or just do something. He now started saying that he has responsibilities which are his siblings, I told him this is the nonsense, he would do till the year ends, we will fight and later resolve it.

He won't even talk about it, or get reminded, he makes me feel Hus boss is using him. I have told him several times how he would be used and dumped, in fact, he makes me say negatives sometimes, and that's because I have seen people that get dumped while working with companies and they fall back to grass, my mum won't even accept him because he works in a company, small company, not cocacola or big companies. My mum hates company works like shits because we've heard and seen people falling to zero due to company jobs.

The problem
1. He says I'm disturbing his life, and not allowing him to rest

2. I'm not happy with him living that way, with no future, no investment, hes not building himself while working, hes not doing courses, not learning any skills, and I think its too risky.
His current salary is not enough for him, not to talk of me collecting part of it. But he gives me money though, has not been more than 1k, 2k and data subscription which I really appreciate.

3. I can't introduce him to my family because I want him respected. Truth is I don't know what he would say to impress my parents because I'm not even impressed with him. And I want him to be superloved and respected. I believe in first impression would last very long. He has introduced me to his family and all friends

4. He never ask me about my own life, aspirations, advice me etc, I'm always the one to do that. Yesterday he had the gut to tell me I'm not caring because of just two days of not showing care

5. Corona has turned his company outside down and he's highly affected. Just like all what I was telling him finally happened, and he has nothing to fall back at. He has a car,

6. I can't marry him or anyone this way, and I'm getting old, though and I want marriage next year. He said he wants too, but I can't marry him like this. And I don't want to get to late twenties, and he breaks up and I start looking for husband, people would be thinking maybe I have a problem that is why I'm yet to marry, they won't know that its him that caused my delay. Plus I have a very high esteem, so I would hate to be desperate for marriage with a man or be the one to be wanting marriage so much in a relationship

7. Right now, we have temporarily break up, so I'm asking if I should break up or make up? Because he was saying rubbish last night

Note: I'm not a fan of dating and rubbish, I love him very much and I don't want to leave him at all. I don't think there's any man I can date as I do not like dishonesty at all and 95% of men are dishonest. My BF is very honest and good I'm every other aspect

Mama, what stops you from doing the masters degree abroad?

Why don't you take that step and observe your life change.

Op is just one of this dreamers who believe they read and are more intelligent, have dreams and right but in reality there is nothing they can show as achievement. They always feel others are not wise or doesn't plan or aren't doing it right but if you compare them with the person they are complaining about, the person is doing better than them, have better approach to life and prosperity.

Op has nothing to point out as achievement with her "I'm intelligent, I'm a planner, I'm a reader" nothing except you're always having a good grade in school and that's getting into your head.

You're pressurizing the young man to move at your pace and unrealistic pace. To think you even think someome that's always complaining about working for people doesn't have a plan and he's unserious. Lol

Do masters, do PhD but he's doing better than you that is intelligent and has Master and imaginary mentors. Books are get into your head.

Laslas you're getting mad because you are pushing a young man moving at his pace gradually to do things that will make you feel fulfilled like you have achieved your dreams since you can't achieve them.

Acmepreneur:

I don't earn anything substantial for now. I don't work. But I do teach online and earn little PayPal through my online skills, and I am building some business underneath which I plan to launch. I'm also applying for scholarships for my PhD, applying for jobs, and processing Canada

Lol. You see your life? You dont earn anything reasonable, yet you are complaining about our hardworking brother who earns #90,000. You better grab him your with your two hands or people will start calling you evening newspaper.

You are the best. These are my exact thoughts!

lalanice:
hahah English don't make money (na so una dey limit una sef)... I know someone like you, all he knows is speaking big big English yet no common sense.

You simply don't understand the poster

Olojukokoro

Acmepreneur:
This my guy is not serious at all.

I used to tell myself change is the only permanent thing in life bla bla bla. And I really believe that once you take the right steps, you can be anything you want to be. This made me to be very soft with people.

When I started dating my Boyfriend, I really was not choosy or judgy. I accepted him without a second thought. I'm not the type of lady that actually do all those lady stuff, I'm a very serious person and I don't play games at all.
My BF is very cool, like not bad looking, normal behaviour etc and I like him a lot.

I'm a very ambitious person, with an extremely big dreams, my boyfriend is also hard working, but I'm not seeing any future at all with his career/prospects/life. When I say I'm with big dreams, it's means I'm working on discovering (new innovations), planning big business that would compete with top brands etc. I'm that big in dreams.

My children is also very important to me, I don't plan for their sufferings at all.
I'm an introvert, I find solace in my aspirations, dreams. I have books I work out those formulas (I mean how I would execute my business plans), I research a lot, think a lot etc

Our fight now

Since day 1, I do tell him to do this and that. I really hate company works, so I would tell him to have savings, and be building something sideways where he works. Also, I wanted him to do Masters, since he said he would love to travel out, he's always saying he hates Nigeria bla bla bla. His dad also wanted him to do Masters, but he's in the crew of Masters is a waste of time, and he can't do Masters in Nigeria bla bla bla

Baby try this business, he would say he doesn't have money, he needs 2 million to start a business etc.

Meanwhile, he doesn't have money to travel out of the country to do Masters, nor 2m to start any business. So I would tell him to manage what he has first, and that would propelled him later, but he likes to talk like illiterates that Masters is meaningless.

Meanwhile, while that is true, those things are just like investment, you don't know when you will see an opportunity to use your Masters certificate, and since he studied computer science, I told him that it can even help him get a job outside Nigeria when he leaves, that it can be useful there. I understand the situation of the country, but not having masters doesn't mean you will get a job as well, so why don't you just have it.

My bf would shut me off, and also his dad, the dad even asked him to take job at the federal university where he works, but my bf said he can't work in that place, this is a federal government job o, he would say the salary is too small and people there already knows him, because his dad is in a big office in the university.

So it won't seem like I'm disturbing him, I went quiet, but might chip it in in discussions, but I don't fight him on those things. He works in a small company, and he rose to the position of a Manager, he spent all his time in office, the little time to waste with his friends. It's a good thing but I'm not comfortable with that, the pay is about 90k, which is not enough for his expenses, also he's the first born.

Fast forward to last year, his dad died, it looks like a film trick to him, he now have to take care of his siblings and mum (mum is nurse, but retired long time ago, her pay is little because it wasn't normal retirement). Everything I was telling him finally came to pass.

He rented an apartment with His friends, he later hated it, and said he wants his own, he went to rent an apartment of 600k (he gathered it from different places and he borrowed), which I really hate and we fought on that as well. Because he could have used the money to secure his life in a better way, since his complain when I told him to start a business is that he doesn't have money bla bla bla

He will not apply for better jobs as well
He's practically doing nothing to grow, and would say he hates Nigeria and he would like to leave, but he can't even apply for scholarships or even google schools.

So this 2020, Jan 1, I started fighting him, that I'm not going to continue with him like that, that he should go apply for MSC, start a business or just do something. He now started saying that he has responsibilities which are his siblings, I told him this is the nonsense, he would do till the year ends, we will fight and later resolve it.

He won't even talk about it, or get reminded, he makes me feel Hus boss is using him. I have told him several times how he would be used and dumped, in fact, he makes me say negatives sometimes, and that's because I have seen people that get dumped while working with companies and they fall back to grass, my mum won't even accept him because he works in a company, small company, not cocacola or big companies. My mum hates company works like shits because we've heard and seen people falling to zero due to company jobs.

The problem
1. He says I'm disturbing his life, and not allowing him to rest

2. I'm not happy with him living that way, with no future, no investment, hes not building himself while working, hes not doing courses, not learning any skills, and I think its too risky.
His current salary is not enough for him, not to talk of me collecting part of it. But he gives me money though, has not been more than 1k, 2k and data subscription which I really appreciate.

3. I can't introduce him to my family because I want him respected. Truth is I don't know what he would say to impress my parents because I'm not even impressed with him. And I want him to be superloved and respected. I believe in first impression would last very long. He has introduced me to his family and all friends

4. He never ask me about my own life, aspirations, advice me etc, I'm always the one to do that. Yesterday he had the gut to tell me I'm not caring because of just two days of not showing care

5. Corona has turned his company outside down and he's highly affected. Just like all what I was telling him finally happened, and he has nothing to fall back at. He has a car,

6. I can't marry him or anyone this way, and I'm getting old, though and I want marriage next year. He said he wants too, but I can't marry him like this. And I don't want to get to late twenties, and he breaks up and I start looking for husband, people would be thinking maybe I have a problem that is why I'm yet to marry, they won't know that its him that caused my delay. Plus I have a very high esteem, so I would hate to be desperate for marriage with a man or be the one to be wanting marriage so much in a relationship

7. Right now, we have temporarily break up, so I'm asking if I should break up or make up? Because he was saying rubbish last night

Note: I'm not a fan of dating and rubbish, I love him very much and I don't want to leave him at all. I don't think there's any man I can date as I do not like dishonesty at all and 95% of men are dishonest. My BF is very honest and good I'm every other aspect

It's not a question of if you should break up with him.

1. You are not proud of him?
2. You love him?
3. You don't see him worthy enough to meet your parents?

Please leave this guy alone for peace sake. You don't deserve him at all.

Those three things i listed above contradicts each other. I think you're just looking for him to become what you want, not what he wants.

You don't love him a bit, if you do, why not provide him with money to travel for his masters?

Since life is all about what you want, why not just mould a clay to human size and apply everything you want it to be?

Imagine you talking about marriage with him when we clearly know you will eventually kill him.

How will you marry someone you're not proud of?

If I were him, I'll run for my life!

P.S is your Mom a Saint or Goddess?

Acmepreneur:
This my guy is not serious at all.

I used to tell myself change is the only permanent thing in life bla bla bla. And I really believe that once you take the right steps, you can be anything you want to be. This made me to be very soft with people.

When I started dating my Boyfriend, I really was not choosy or judgy. I accepted him without a second thought. I'm not the type of lady that actually do all those lady stuff, I'm a very serious person and I don't play games at all.
My BF is very cool, like not bad looking, normal behaviour etc and I like him a lot.

I'm a very ambitious person, with an extremely big dreams, my boyfriend is also hard working, but I'm not seeing any future at all with his career/prospects/life. When I say I'm with big dreams, it's means I'm working on discovering (new innovations), planning big business that would compete with top brands etc. I'm that big in dreams.

My children is also very important to me, I don't plan for their sufferings at all.
I'm an introvert, I find solace in my aspirations, dreams. I have books I work out those formulas (I mean how I would execute my business plans), I research a lot, think a lot etc

Our fight now

Since day 1, I do tell him to do this and that. I really hate company works, so I would tell him to have savings, and be building something sideways where he works. Also, I wanted him to do Masters, since he said he would love to travel out, he's always saying he hates Nigeria bla bla bla. His dad also wanted him to do Masters, but he's in the crew of Masters is a waste of time, and he can't do Masters in Nigeria bla bla bla

Baby try this business, he would say he doesn't have money, he needs 2 million to start a business etc.

Meanwhile, he doesn't have money to travel out of the country to do Masters, nor 2m to start any business. So I would tell him to manage what he has first, and that would propelled him later, but he likes to talk like illiterates that Masters is meaningless.

Meanwhile, while that is true, those things are just like investment, you don't know when you will see an opportunity to use your Masters certificate, and since he studied computer science, I told him that it can even help him get a job outside Nigeria when he leaves, that it can be useful there. I understand the situation of the country, but not having masters doesn't mean you will get a job as well, so why don't you just have it.

My bf would shut me off, and also his dad, the dad even asked him to take job at the federal university where he works, but my bf said he can't work in that place, this is a federal government job o, he would say the salary is too small and people there already knows him, because his dad is in a big office in the university.

So it won't seem like I'm disturbing him, I went quiet, but might chip it in in discussions, but I don't fight him on those things. He works in a small company, and he rose to the position of a Manager, he spent all his time in office, the little time to waste with his friends. It's a good thing but I'm not comfortable with that, the pay is about 90k, which is not enough for his expenses, also he's the first born.

Fast forward to last year, his dad died, it looks like a film trick to him, he now have to take care of his siblings and mum (mum is nurse, but retired long time ago, her pay is little because it wasn't normal retirement). Everything I was telling him finally came to pass.

He rented an apartment with His friends, he later hated it, and said he wants his own, he went to rent an apartment of 600k (he gathered it from different places and he borrowed), which I really hate and we fought on that as well. Because he could have used the money to secure his life in a better way, since his complain when I told him to start a business is that he doesn't have money bla bla bla

He will not apply for better jobs as well
He's practically doing nothing to grow, and would say he hates Nigeria and he would like to leave, but he can't even apply for scholarships or even google schools.

So this 2020, Jan 1, I started fighting him, that I'm not going to continue with him like that, that he should go apply for MSC, start a business or just do something. He now started saying that he has responsibilities which are his siblings, I told him this is the nonsense, he would do till the year ends, we will fight and later resolve it.

He won't even talk about it, or get reminded, he makes me feel Hus boss is using him. I have told him several times how he would be used and dumped, in fact, he makes me say negatives sometimes, and that's because I have seen people that get dumped while working with companies and they fall back to grass, my mum won't even accept him because he works in a company, small company, not cocacola or big companies. My mum hates company works like shits because we've heard and seen people falling to zero due to company jobs.

The problem
1. He says I'm disturbing his life, and not allowing him to rest

2. I'm not happy with him living that way, with no future, no investment, hes not building himself while working, hes not doing courses, not learning any skills, and I think its too risky.
His current salary is not enough for him, not to talk of me collecting part of it. But he gives me money though, has not been more than 1k, 2k and data subscription which I really appreciate.

3. I can't introduce him to my family because I want him respected. Truth is I don't know what he would say to impress my parents because I'm not even impressed with him. And I want him to be superloved and respected. I believe in first impression would last very long. He has introduced me to his family and all friends

4. He never ask me about my own life, aspirations, advice me etc, I'm always the one to do that. Yesterday he had the gut to tell me I'm not caring because of just two days of not showing care

5. Corona has turned his company outside down and he's highly affected. Just like all what I was telling him finally happened, and he has nothing to fall back at. He has a car,

6. I can't marry him or anyone this way, and I'm getting old, though and I want marriage next year. He said he wants too, but I can't marry him like this. And I don't want to get to late twenties, and he breaks up and I start looking for husband, people would be thinking maybe I have a problem that is why I'm yet to marry, they won't know that its him that caused my delay. Plus I have a very high esteem, so I would hate to be desperate for marriage with a man or be the one to be wanting marriage so much in a relationship

7. Right now, we have temporarily break up, so I'm asking if I should break up or make up? Because he was saying rubbish last night

Note: I'm not a fan of dating and rubbish, I love him very much and I don't want to leave him at all. I don't think there's any man I can date as I do not like dishonesty at all and 95% of men are dishonest. My BF is very honest and good I'm every other aspect

/
Is your destiny tied to him?

Keep wasting your life with him until you hit 30 and be stuck in misery..then you start looking for an unlucky man to offload your miserable life on. The only light at the end of the tunnel for you is that militant feminism will alway be there as a backup plan. Hate men and take no responsibilities for pitching tent with a loser(by your own definition). It is his life and he can live it whatever way he wants.

Work on your self-esteem.

/

From the comments I've gone through here. I'll say some male folks are either scared of pressure or are terrified of marrying a woman that knows what she wants and she's not afraid of getting it. Guys want a woman that will suck up to their mediocrity, some guys shaa.

My lady! I appreciate the fact that you are calculated and a goal getter, in a world of instagram hoes it's surely a plus for whoever you end up. I've seen that you obviously love the dude very well, but you're scared that he'll not really get the plot since time is not on your side Considering your biological makeups.

I'll advise you to communicate your position coherently to him, let him understand where you from. Love is not a enough in a relationship, you need comprimse, communication and a lot of other things. Life and love itself is transient, you can kill your dreams because of love and at the end he doesn't marry you.

Personally, I'll tell you not to give up on chasing whatever it is you want.

I'm in a relationship and we're both motivated to be together and be better. My babe is someone who pushes me to be the best. I'm not scared of pressure.

Most men on here would just want a lady that's not so okay so they can both enjoy mediocrity. I ain't all for that.

If you want him try to help him, while doing that ask yourself is he really good for you??

If he doesn't make it, can you remain with him

Are you prepared for a life time of managing

Can you be steadfast till he's payday comes? Everyone has a cash out period no matter how useless they are

Can you back him up during he's worst times.


I'm sure you have a consensus in mind already. I just hope this helps in any way.

Chai...See ambitious lady, my Type's type!

You need to be careful, Encourage him..let him see your aspirations more.

If he still adamant, move on and pray you meet someone with same mindset

Tripitaka:
"I told him to"
"I want him to"
"I warned him not to"
"I advised him to"
"He wouldn't listen to me" and all the other stuffs.

It appears to me that you are foisting your opinion, choices and wishes on your partner. You want him to live his life your way, pursue his dreams following your chart and run his race with you as guide. Perhaps you want to be the Kapellmeister while you lead the orchestra that is his life.

If he were to follow your advise and it backfires or doesnt yield the expected fruit, who would take responsibility? There is something some of us do not acknowledge which is that not everyone wants to be wealthy, some people just want to be successful at what they do, some people just want to lead a simple and fulfilled life.

I also find your intentions questionable. Do you have all those "nice thoughts" for him because you love and wish him well, or because you want him wealthy enough to marry you next year and give you "the life"? Its a shame that you say you're not proud of someone ou claim to love and painting him as some loser.

There comes a time in the life of a man when he wants to do things his own way, steer his own ship, make his own mistakes and celebrate his own little victories.

I would have asked you to talk to him, but I believe you guys have talked about this over and over. So, the choice is yours to walk or stay

The problem is that humans do our intelligence have complicated life.
Life is to be lived.
We struggle in every point in our lives.
We hardly live happy.
Our intelligence are really working against our happiness.
Do you that we all animals in the 1st place?
Ur closely related apes and other animals are living very happy in the jungle.
No education, house, no technology, no luxury ,no investment, no skill, no hospital, no social amenities, no antenatal or maternity hohospitals, yet these animals survive and live exuberant life.
Our problem is ego.
We have placed our personality at a level that we are struggling to maintain.
We are over stressing, over working over thinking just to maintain our self acclaimed ego and impress our and people around us.
People living in thatched houses want to live in a bungalow.
People living in a bungalow want to live in a mansion, people living in a mansion want to live in a skycrapper, people living in a skycrapper want to live in the sea house.
If you really want to enjoy life, kill your ego, maintain a modest lifestyle.
Stop trying to live in the best places.
Stop trying to impress people.
Have confidence in urself.
Too much ambition will lead u to too much stress, anxiety, depression and worst self hate (low self esteem).
U will end up not enjoying your life due to too much expectations.
Life will never, I repeat never work to your expectations.
It's a human nature to strive, struggle to get out of their present status.
Dangote and Bill Gates are never satisfied with their current status.
It's a human longing.
It's good to aspire for greatness but don't allow your aspirations to cost u your happiness and joy.
U only got one life.
And ur life is actually ticking away.
In every second, u re getting closer to your grave.
U re a mortal, ur days here are nnumbered.
Ur mindset is ur enemy.
Throttle low ur expectations and life will be cool for you.
High test leads to depression, human wants and longing are insatiable.


Try and Go to YouTube and watch Sadhguru's inspiration talks.
It will help you to re-engineer your inner mind.
And you will start living joyfully.
We all are going to die one-day remember.
And whether u re an illiterate, taxi driver, bricklayer, CEO, MD, Bill Gates or a beggar, u will all die, decay and return as a manure to plants and flowers close to ur grave.
U have the choice to live a life of joy or miserable life.
Stop trying to fit in to a certain class that will drain your pocket, over stress u.
The whites always understand life more than Africans.
A white man will be living comfortably with a bicycle and bikes.
A white man will be comfortable with a 1st generation golf car, but a black man wants to cruise in RR, Bougghati.
Many whites left their luxury in Europe to live and explore the beauty in African jungles.
Life is an adventure.
It's not a race.
No one comes out alive.
Be patient with your boyfriend.
Social, political and economic Classification is stealing our humanity and joy.
We are all biological compatible until race, class and religion brought segregation.
Happiness is a choice.
Misery is a choice.
Reconfigure your mindset.
Best of luck

This is one of the mistakes women make when marrying. Never accept a lazy and unambitious man in marriage. When the chips are down, a woman would do whatever it takes to feed her children. Some lazy men wouldn't be bothered

As a woman before marriage is the time to get it right. Dont overlook obvious flaws with the hope that things would get better. They rarely do, except for some very few cases. Don't gamble on probability. When they say get a man of your dreams, choices, this is precisely what they mean

My sisters made these mistakes and now are burdens on us. Their husbands whom they married out of love simply wouldn't be bothered. Always remember that love is not always enough

Be rational like this lady. Even the bible tells us to test all spirits. Get the right one suitable for you. It's like shopping for clothes. A particular dress may be good for another but not for you

For those slating you, pls ignore. You and you alone is wearing that shoe and know precisely were it pinches. Never sell your dreams short. Even if going by your dreams lead to mistakes. History will forgive you for trying and failing but would not forgive you for not even trying

Its obvious where this man is taking you. And the prognosis isnt looking too good. He may succeed tomorrow, but that would be with a mighty dose of luck. Do not gamble with your future

Best

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mumu

I'm sure you didn't read anything up there

Ouch!