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Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? - Romance (10) - Nairaland

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Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Nobody: 11:51pm On May 21, 2020
you too have a problem your dreams are too big and your plans for the future are very enormous what if you die? cant u think about that? nd why do u care so much about his future let him continue with his unplanned life style and you concentrate on your plans to achieve your big dreams

1 Like

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by joepepsy(m): 11:52pm On May 21, 2020
You don't love him, if you do you will respect him and if you respect him you will be proud of him.
Acmepreneur:
This my guy is not serious at all.

I used to tell myself change is the only permanent thing in life bla bla bla. And I really believe that once you take the right steps, you can be anything you want to be. This made me to be very soft with people.

When I started dating my Boyfriend, I really was not choosy or judgy. I accepted him without a second thought. I'm not the type of lady that actually do all those lady stuff, I'm a very serious person and I don't play games at all.
My BF is very cool, like not bad looking, normal behaviour etc and I like him a lot.

I'm a very ambitious person, with an extremely big dreams, my boyfriend is also hard working, but I'm not seeing any future at all with his career/prospects/life. When I say I'm with big dreams, it's means I'm working on discovering (new innovations), planning big business that would compete with top brands etc. I'm that big in dreams.

My children is also very important to me, I don't plan for their sufferings at all.
I'm an introvert, I find solace in my aspirations, dreams. I have books I work out those formulas (I mean how I would execute my business plans), I research a lot, think a lot etc

Our fight now

Since day 1, I do tell him to do this and that. I really hate company works, so I would tell him to have savings, and be building something sideways where he works. Also, I wanted him to do Masters, since he said he would love to travel out, he's always saying he hates Nigeria bla bla bla. His dad also wanted him to do Masters, but he's in the crew of Masters is a waste of time, and he can't do Masters in Nigeria bla bla bla

Baby try this business, he would say he doesn't have money, he needs 2 million to start a business etc.

Meanwhile, he doesn't have money to travel out of the country to do Masters, nor 2m to start any business. So I would tell him to manage what he has first, and that would propelled him later, but he likes to talk like illiterates that Masters is meaningless.

Meanwhile, while that is true, those things are just like investment, you don't know when you will see an opportunity to use your Masters certificate, and since he studied computer science, I told him that it can even help him get a job outside Nigeria when he leaves, that it can be useful there. I understand the situation of the country, but not having masters doesn't mean you will get a job as well, so why don't you just have it.

My bf would shut me off, and also his dad, the dad even asked him to take job at the federal university where he works, but my bf said he can't work in that place, this is a federal government job o, he would say the salary is too small and people there already knows him, because his dad is in a big office in the university.

So it won't seem like I'm disturbing him, I went quiet, but might chip it in in discussions, but I don't fight him on those things. He works in a small company, and he rose to the position of a Manager, he spent all his time in office, the little time to waste with his friends. It's a good thing but I'm not comfortable with that, the pay is about 90k, which is not enough for his expenses, also he's the first born.

Fast forward to last year, his dad died, it looks like a film trick to him, he now have to take care of his siblings and mum (mum is nurse, but retired long time ago, her pay is little because it wasn't normal retirement). Everything I was telling him finally came to pass.

He rented an apartment with His friends, he later hated it, and said he wants his own, he went to rent an apartment of 600k (he gathered it from different places and he borrowed), which I really hate and we fought on that as well. Because he could have used the money to secure his life in a better way, since his complain when I told him to start a business is that he doesn't have money bla bla bla

He will not apply for better jobs as well
He's practically doing nothing to grow, and would say he hates Nigeria and he would like to leave, but he can't even apply for scholarships or even google schools.

So this 2020, Jan 1, I started fighting him, that I'm not going to continue with him like that, that he should go apply for MSC, start a business or just do something. He now started saying that he has responsibilities which are his siblings, I told him this is the nonsense, he would do till the year ends, we will fight and later resolve it.

He won't even talk about it, or get reminded, he makes me feel Hus boss is using him. I have told him several times how he would be used and dumped, in fact, he makes me say negatives sometimes, and that's because I have seen people that get dumped while working with companies and they fall back to grass, my mum won't even accept him because he works in a company, small company, not cocacola or big companies. My mum hates company works like shits because we've heard and seen people falling to zero due to company jobs.

The problem
1. He says I'm disturbing his life, and not allowing him to rest

2. I'm not happy with him living that way, with no future, no investment, hes not building himself while working, hes not doing courses, not learning any skills, and I think its too risky.
His current salary is not enough for him, not to talk of me collecting part of it. But he gives me money though, has not been more than 1k, 2k and data subscription which I really appreciate.

3. I can't introduce him to my family because I want him respected. Truth is I don't know what he would say to impress my parents because I'm not even impressed with him. And I want him to be superloved and respected. I believe in first impression would last very long. He has introduced me to his family and all friends

4. He never ask me about my own life, aspirations, advice me etc, I'm always the one to do that. Yesterday he had the gut to tell me I'm not caring because of just two days of not showing care

5. Corona has turned his company outside down and he's highly affected. Just like all what I was telling him finally happened, and he has nothing to fall back at. He has a car,

6. I can't marry him or anyone this way, and I'm getting old, though and I want marriage next year. He said he wants too, but I can't marry him like this. And I don't want to get to late twenties, and he breaks up and I start looking for husband, people would be thinking maybe I have a problem that is why I'm yet to marry, they won't know that its him that caused my delay. Plus I have a very high esteem, so I would hate to be desperate for marriage with a man or be the one to be wanting marriage so much in a relationship

7. Right now, we have temporarily break up, so I'm asking if I should break up or make up? Because he was saying rubbish last night

Note: I'm not a fan of dating and rubbish, I love him very much and I don't want to leave him at all. I don't think there's any man I can date as I do not like dishonesty at all and 95% of men are dishonest. My BF is very honest and good I'm every other aspect

4 Likes

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by elektra(f): 11:55pm On May 21, 2020
You have dream, you have dream.

What are you doing about your own dreams

Abi your work is to be dreaming up and down?

8 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Bjteensdes24: 11:56pm On May 21, 2020
Exc2000:


Mindset and Proper Communication is the key to a successful relationship, not money and ambition

Lets say you read what you wrote from a neutral point or you reverse the case and put yourself in his shoes then you would understand the cause of friction

* you started off by saying this ; "This my guy is not serious at all" .. Flipping it, lets assume your boyfriend also hold the thought of you in a negative way: "This my girl is too greedy and loves money too much."

* I used to tell myself change is the only permanent thing in life bla bla bla. And I really believe that once you take the right steps, you can be anything you want to be. This made me to be very soft with people.... --- You sound manipulative without even knowing it, you believe change is the only permanent thing and you are soft with people because you think you can change them... how would you feel if instead of accepting you your boyfriends constantly tries to change you? what if you being an introvert isn't cool with him and he starts forcing you to parties, lecturing you on how going out boost career prospects? you clearly don't accept him for who he is so leave him, break up and look for who fits your ideal man

* I'm a very ambitious person, with an extremely big dreams, my boyfriend is also hard working, but I'm not seeing any future at all with his career/prospects/life. When I say I'm with big dreams, it's means I'm working on discovering (new innovations), planning big business that would compete with top brands etc. I'm that big in dreams--- You claim to be ambitious but the real question is are you successful ? perhaps the main reason he isn't buying your ambitious story is because with all your big plans and big dreams, big business fancy talks you haven't shown your self as a success in his eyes, and he feels if with all your masters talk and business talk you haven't helped your own self why should he abandon the career path that pays him 90k to follow your own dream that pays you next to nothing? Maybe he is a realist and not a dreamer and wouldn't take stupid uncalculated risk in the name of dream

* Masters degree isn't a means to earn more money as many believe or boost your certificate, in real world masters just sharpen your skills, before you force masters on him again, try and select an MSC coarse for him, check out all the courses module he would take for the 2 years and tell your self in all honesty which of this courses would make him better and worth his while for loosing 90k job?

Sense go kill you one day sir..nice one bro.

.



2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by DrChukki: 11:57pm On May 21, 2020
theTransporter:



I don't know women like u still exists, I use this thread as a point of contact to ask God for a partner like you, not the one who will be asking money for wig and fingernails (which ladies are supposed to buy themselves) without caring for financial growth of both of you. God bless you sister.

As for the guy I think you should make up with him and sit him down and really point things out for him to see, just continue to try, encourage him to read books like think and grow rich by Napoleon Hills, Laws of success , Rich dad poor dad Etc.(I just hope he is the type that likes reading, especially this one he don't want masters degree) I believe he will change. But if he isn't changing then you have no option to manage him like that or find someone in the same sync, someone in the same cosmic frequency with you so that resonance will occur.
My little contribution thoo

My brother, same thing I thought.
In fact while reading her post I was like God where is a woman like this...??

Perfect description of what I'm looking for.

I pray that God will make me locate a woman like her.

The ones I've met have no interest in business. They want to live a big life with a Yahoo boy's money...

OP, I pray your heart desires will be met in this relationship

1 Like

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Alaganature(m): 11:58pm On May 21, 2020
Kykyblaze:

Your user name already describe you.

Hahahahahahaha mehn you just kill the bitch finally
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by omotoyossi(m): 11:58pm On May 21, 2020
i don't see a man in him. I'm sorry.

1 Like

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by benjijosh(m): 12:00am On May 22, 2020
Dear OP,

You need to calm down because are going too fast already. Being ambitious is a good thing but rubbing it on your bf's face is something you shouldn't do.

I wouldn't expect less from a first class student and a M.Sc holder holder. You are aiming big but you need to understand Life is not logical. Doing A or B doesn't totally guarantee anything. Your bf is not willing to take any chance that will take him back to square one. It's not as if he doesn't want to progress too. If he leaves his 90k from masters, how is he going to take care of his responsibilities (his younger ones) talkless of you, not to mention himself.

Rule out the M.Sc thing. If he wishes to have one in his name, he will but not now.

From your write-up, you probably 24/25. Trust me, someone as ambitious as yourself would never get married at 26/27 talkless of you big dreams you haven't achieved.

Your boyfriend is the one living the real life. No ones really cares if you have a 4.9 CGPA until you are successful.

Don't put too much pressure on him, he complains a lot and he is not doing anything. That's what you think. When he is truly fed up about everything, he's going to work a way. That's to say, he is comfortable where he is right now.

You don't have to cut off your dreams to be compatible with him, respect him for who he is and if you can't handle your boyfriend not being the ambitious person you want, stick to yourself and break up.

It doesn't mean you are bad or he won't become a brighter person in future. You're not just compatible as of now.

10 Likes

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Vicochende(m): 12:00am On May 22, 2020
Well, obviously you have told us how much you don't like the man that he is and what he is becoming. So why not just let him go and find yourself a man that works in Shell, Microsoft, Apple and Co.. Since its big companies you want.

1 Like

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by AnanseK(m): 12:00am On May 22, 2020
If I knew this man I would advice him to dump you.

I can’t stand a week’s teamwork with a nagging woman let alone a lifetime.

1 Like

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Majesty33(m): 12:03am On May 22, 2020
I and Op guy have a common similarity and that is, doing things in our own. Although my babe isn't the problem now but a terrible world number one nagging elder sister that has never sat me down to ask what I really wanted rather she wants to impose her own will on me.

1 Like

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by omoyankee3(m): 12:03am On May 22, 2020
You are more worried about what your family and friends would think and say about your BF, and you want him to live up to the image of the man your family expects you to bring home to them. In other words, the issues has little to with him and more to do with you. If you want him to be a certain type of man, for YOUR sake and that of your people, then you'd better breakup with him now cos there'll only be resentment down the line.

But if you are prepared to ignore what others think about him, and accept him for who he is, then there's still hope.

6 Likes

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by chigoizie7(m): 12:03am On May 22, 2020
elektra:
You have dream, you have dream.

What are you doing about your own dreams

Abi your work is to be dreaming up and down?

Nnem help me ask her ooh.

5 Likes

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by jeff1607(m): 12:03am On May 22, 2020
you got big dreams and won't want to work to get capital to actualise the dream. Ladies with sincere drive for wealth and achievements try every avenue to show they can be independent and prove to their partner that the decision they take yields fruits but here you are still taking peanuts.

Such women would nag a man to death if his business crumbles or wealth disappear and start reminding him if others thriving. you don't impose your choice on a man , u give him options and reasons for it but let him choose, as he couldn't do the job his late dad offered why didn't you step in and take the job, you did masters and yet couldn't out knowledge and skill into bringing forth the beacon.

How can one make big plans with no capital in sight and isn't ready to raise a finger to work, all in the name of I want to b a madam, take his car use it for Uber, if he is the manager as u said find clients who need the services of his company or goods, if he has a land , get your hands dirty and plant or turn it into something that yields food or money. But no you want to drive him nuts to fulfilling the dreams you couldn't achieve same happens to parents who drive kids into doing things they couldn't achieve, you rush them and they make live changing mistakes

3 Likes

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by ibkayee(f): 12:04am On May 22, 2020
It sounds more like you're trying to 'build' him for YOURSELF and YOUR future, than having a genuine interest in his personal development. Nothing wrong with planning, but go easy on the pressure, you don't sound like a bad person, just a bit intense. You sound like a f*cking nag too, pardon my french

4 Likes

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Danielkupiejo: 12:07am On May 22, 2020
Read b4 u talk rubbish. Someone who rents an apartment of 600k and has a car. Oya tell me wetin yahoo boy dey get pass dah one except hushppupy crew Person say she wan marry next year and she dey plan how her children no go suffer and u dey here dey yan rubbish, why she no plan am 5 to 4 years ago with her life first before she dey force person wey never ready. See my own gf say if she never get her own job and start making her own money she no go marry. Why can't she help him achieve the dream for financially, una dey find who go advice una , wetin do ur head of reasoning can't u mold ur future yourself abi u dont see or hear things around you ?. My bro if guys broke I advice, encourage and motivate dem and once me I broke I encourage myself dat I can do it. Be a man of ursef na weak men gals dey control Bcox dey av notin upstairs because they dont really know what they want for demselves.
DrChukki:


My brother, same thing I thought.
In fact while reading her post I was like God where is a woman like this...??

Perfect description of what I'm looking for.

I pray that God will make me locate a woman like her.

The ones I've met have no interest in business. They want to live a big life with a Yahoo boy's money...

OP, I pray your heart desires will be met in this relationship

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Inteltower: 12:08am On May 22, 2020
Acmepreneur:

Lol, funny guy. Yes, my ambition is on him because I love him. In my family, wives are very important in making husband's grow, my dad won't be where he is today if not my mum, some people need the push.
I as well do not appreciate wives with husband that is not progressing, we tell our women to be a pusher


we both sync at having big ideas & dreams
I respect your relationship with that guy..he needs revelation, prayer & strengthen of will to do what is needed.
any I would like for us to partner.. to work together.. there is an enterprise am involved in..still in it's growing phase.. and we need a spectacular team member like you that can help lead the enterprise.
its voluntary for now but we are working on a financial backbone.

if interested reply

2 Likes

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by joepepsy(m): 12:09am On May 22, 2020
don't mind her.
AfroKnight:
Thank goodness you’ve broken up with him. Your wahala is too much. He will sort himself out.

You say you’re ambitious but all your ambition is on behalf of another person.

There’s encouragement and there’s nagging. Learn the difference.

Leave him alone.

2 Likes

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Rhisky(m): 12:11am On May 22, 2020
Acrimony loading...


When the guy blow, please stay far away.

1 Like

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by pippimp(m): 12:12am On May 22, 2020
Tripitaka:


There comes a time in the life of a man when he wants to do things his own way, steer his own ship, make his own mistakes and celebrate his own little victories.

You are definitely single. There is no such thing as doing things your own way when you are married or are planning to. The decisions you make does not just affect you alone. You have to consider your partner in everything you do. Same goes for the woman.

3 Likes

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by amadiwati(m): 12:14am On May 22, 2020
Nothing is more amazing than a woman who pushes /inspires you to greatness. I want to be your friend. Just friends. You're kind of person I want hang around with. Your Bf doesn't have any idea of who you're. Babe walk away. Don't look back.
Acmepreneur:
This my guy is not serious at all.

I used to tell myself change is the only permanent thing in life bla bla bla. And I really believe that once you take the right steps, you can be anything you want to be. This made me to be very soft with people.

When I started dating my Boyfriend, I really was not choosy or judgy. I accepted him without a second thought. I'm not the type of lady that actually do all those lady stuff, I'm a very serious person and I don't play games at all.
My BF is very cool, like not bad looking, normal behaviour etc and I like him a lot.

I'm a very ambitious person, with an extremely big dreams, my boyfriend is also hard working, but I'm not seeing any future at all with his career/prospects/life. When I say I'm with big dreams, it's means I'm working on discovering (new innovations), planning big business that would compete with top brands etc. I'm that big in dreams.

My children is also very important to me, I don't plan for their sufferings at all.
I'm an introvert, I find solace in my aspirations, dreams. I have books I work out those formulas (I mean how I would execute my business plans), I research a lot, think a lot etc

Our fight now

Since day 1, I do tell him to do this and that. I really hate company works, so I would tell him to have savings, and be building something sideways where he works. Also, I wanted him to do Masters, since he said he would love to travel out, he's always saying he hates Nigeria bla bla bla. His dad also wanted him to do Masters, but he's in the crew of Masters is a waste of time, and he can't do Masters in Nigeria bla bla bla

Baby try this business, he would say he doesn't have money, he needs 2 million to start a business etc.

Meanwhile, he doesn't have money to travel out of the country to do Masters, nor 2m to start any business. So I would tell him to manage what he has first, and that would propelled him later, but he likes to talk like illiterates that Masters is meaningless.

Meanwhile, while that is true, those things are just like investment, you don't know when you will see an opportunity to use your Masters certificate, and since he studied computer science, I told him that it can even help him get a job outside Nigeria when he leaves, that it can be useful there. I understand the situation of the country, but not having masters doesn't mean you will get a job as well, so why don't you just have it.

My bf would shut me off, and also his dad, the dad even asked him to take job at the federal university where he works, but my bf said he can't work in that place, this is a federal government job o, he would say the salary is too small and people there already knows him, because his dad is in a big office in the university.

So it won't seem like I'm disturbing him, I went quiet, but might chip it in in discussions, but I don't fight him on those things. He works in a small company, and he rose to the position of a Manager, he spent all his time in office, the little time to waste with his friends. It's a good thing but I'm not comfortable with that, the pay is about 90k, which is not enough for his expenses, also he's the first born.

Fast forward to last year, his dad died, it looks like a film trick to him, he now have to take care of his siblings and mum (mum is nurse, but retired long time ago, her pay is little because it wasn't normal retirement). Everything I was telling him finally came to pass.

He rented an apartment with His friends, he later hated it, and said he wants his own, he went to rent an apartment of 600k (he gathered it from different places and he borrowed), which I really hate and we fought on that as well. Because he could have used the money to secure his life in a better way, since his complain when I told him to start a business is that he doesn't have money bla bla bla

He will not apply for better jobs as well
He's practically doing nothing to grow, and would say he hates Nigeria and he would like to leave, but he can't even apply for scholarships or even google schools.

So this 2020, Jan 1, I started fighting him, that I'm not going to continue with him like that, that he should go apply for MSC, start a business or just do something. He now started saying that he has responsibilities which are his siblings, I told him this is the nonsense, he would do till the year ends, we will fight and later resolve it.

He won't even talk about it, or get reminded, he makes me feel Hus boss is using him. I have told him several times how he would be used and dumped, in fact, he makes me say negatives sometimes, and that's because I have seen people that get dumped while working with companies and they fall back to grass, my mum won't even accept him because he works in a company, small company, not cocacola or big companies. My mum hates company works like shits because we've heard and seen people falling to zero due to company jobs.

The problem
1. He says I'm disturbing his life, and not allowing him to rest

2. I'm not happy with him living that way, with no future, no investment, hes not building himself while working, hes not doing courses, not learning any skills, and I think its too risky.
His current salary is not enough for him, not to talk of me collecting part of it. But he gives me money though, has not been more than 1k, 2k and data subscription which I really appreciate.

3. I can't introduce him to my family because I want him respected. Truth is I don't know what he would say to impress my parents because I'm not even impressed with him. And I want him to be superloved and respected. I believe in first impression would last very long. He has introduced me to his family and all friends

4. He never ask me about my own life, aspirations, advice me etc, I'm always the one to do that. Yesterday he had the gut to tell me I'm not caring because of just two days of not showing care

5. Corona has turned his company outside down and he's highly affected. Just like all what I was telling him finally happened, and he has nothing to fall back at. He has a car,

6. I can't marry him or anyone this way, and I'm getting old, though and I want marriage next year. He said he wants too, but I can't marry him like this. And I don't want to get to late twenties, and he breaks up and I start looking for husband, people would be thinking maybe I have a problem that is why I'm yet to marry, they won't know that its him that caused my delay. Plus I have a very high esteem, so I would hate to be desperate for marriage with a man or be the one to be wanting marriage so much in a relationship

7. Right now, we have temporarily break up, so I'm asking if I should break up or make up? Because he was saying rubbish last night

Note: I'm not a fan of dating and rubbish, I love him very much and I don't want to leave him at all. I don't think there's any man I can date as I do not like dishonesty at all and 95% of men are dishonest. My BF is very honest and good I'm every other aspect

2 Likes

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by Kelejonz: 12:15am On May 22, 2020
Breamake up
Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by vegafbs: 12:16am On May 22, 2020
Millenniumlady:
Girl this is 2020 and if a man ain't ready to do all you want then boy bye.

Very empty!

Dickheaded entity. Lazy brat that can not read well to understand before typing.

1 Like

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by slaypapa: 12:16am On May 22, 2020
Exc2000:


Mindset and Proper Communication is the key to a successful relationship, not money and ambition

Lets say you read what you wrote from a neutral point or you reverse the case and put yourself in his shoes then you would understand the cause of friction

* you started off by saying this ; "This my guy is not serious at all" .. Flipping it, lets assume your boyfriend also hold the thought of you in a negative way: "This my girl is too greedy and loves money too much."

* I used to tell myself change is the only permanent thing in life bla bla bla. And I really believe that once you take the right steps, you can be anything you want to be. This made me to be very soft with people.... --- You sound manipulative without even knowing it, you believe change is the only permanent thing and you are soft with people because you think you can change them... how would you feel if instead of accepting you your boyfriends constantly tries to change you? what if you being an introvert isn't cool with him and he starts forcing you to parties, lecturing you on how going out boost career prospects? you clearly don't accept him for who he is so leave him, break up and look for who fits your ideal man

* I'm a very ambitious person, with an extremely big dreams, my boyfriend is also hard working, but I'm not seeing any future at all with his career/prospects/life. When I say I'm with big dreams, it's means I'm working on discovering (new innovations), planning big business that would compete with top brands etc. I'm that big in dreams--- You claim to be ambitious but the real question is are you successful ? perhaps the main reason he isn't buying your ambitious story is because with all your big plans and big dreams, big business fancy talks you haven't shown your self as a success in his eyes, and he feels if with all your masters talk and business talk you haven't helped your own self why should he abandon the career path that pays him 90k to follow your own dream that pays you next to nothing? Maybe he is a realist and not a dreamer and wouldn't take stupid uncalculated risk in the name of dream

* Masters degree isn't a means to earn more money as many believe or boost your certificate, in real world masters just sharpen your skills, before you force masters on him again, try and select an MSC coarse for him, check out all the courses module he would take for the 2 years and tell your self in all honesty which of this courses would make him better and worth his while for loosing 90k job?



.



Alaye, chop knuckle Oil dey ur head

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by teelady(f): 12:17am On May 22, 2020
let's do this for a change, don't condemn him for not following your directive, rather ask him what he wish to do, this will answer your question of either support him, or carry waka,......you don't tell a man to do this or do that(kudos, at least he is man enough to have is own mind, even if he is plain stupid) please kindly weigh your option if you can live with his dreams. thank you

2 Likes

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by NCarthur(m): 12:23am On May 22, 2020
Stop doing like you truly want the best for him and go get the best for yourself. You're just trying to escape poverty and if u think it's easy why not do it yourself.

3 Likes

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by intruder15(m): 12:24am On May 22, 2020
Acmepreneur:
This my guy is not serious at all.

I used to tell myself change is the only permanent thing in life bla bla bla. And I really believe that once you take the right steps, you can be anything you want to be. This made me to be very soft with people.

When I started dating my Boyfriend, I really was not choosy or judgy. I accepted him without a second thought. I'm not the type of lady that actually do all those lady stuff, I'm a very serious person and I don't play games at all.
My BF is very cool, like not bad looking, normal behaviour etc and I like him a lot.

I'm a very ambitious person, with an extremely big dreams, my boyfriend is also hard working, but I'm not seeing any future at all with his career/prospects/life. When I say I'm with big dreams, it's means I'm working on discovering (new innovations), planning big business that would compete with top brands etc. I'm that big in dreams.

My children is also very important to me, I don't plan for their sufferings at all.
I'm an introvert, I find solace in my aspirations, dreams. I have books I work out those formulas (I mean how I would execute my business plans), I research a lot, think a lot etc

Our fight now

Since day 1, I do tell him to do this and that. I really hate company works, so I would tell him to have savings, and be building something sideways where he works. Also, I wanted him to do Masters, since he said he would love to travel out, he's always saying he hates Nigeria bla bla bla. His dad also wanted him to do Masters, but he's in the crew of Masters is a waste of time, and he can't do Masters in Nigeria bla bla bla

Baby try this business, he would say he doesn't have money, he needs 2 million to start a business etc.

Meanwhile, he doesn't have money to travel out of the country to do Masters, nor 2m to start any business. So I would tell him to manage what he has first, and that would propelled him later, but he likes to talk like illiterates that Masters is meaningless.

Meanwhile, while that is true, those things are just like investment, you don't know when you will see an opportunity to use your Masters certificate, and since he studied computer science, I told him that it can even help him get a job outside Nigeria when he leaves, that it can be useful there. I understand the situation of the country, but not having masters doesn't mean you will get a job as well, so why don't you just have it.

My bf would shut me off, and also his dad, the dad even asked him to take job at the federal university where he works, but my bf said he can't work in that place, this is a federal government job o, he would say the salary is too small and people there already knows him, because his dad is in a big office in the university.

So it won't seem like I'm disturbing him, I went quiet, but might chip it in in discussions, but I don't fight him on those things. He works in a small company, and he rose to the position of a Manager, he spent all his time in office, the little time to waste with his friends. It's a good thing but I'm not comfortable with that, the pay is about 90k, which is not enough for his expenses, also he's the first born.

Fast forward to last year, his dad died, it looks like a film trick to him, he now have to take care of his siblings and mum (mum is nurse, but retired long time ago, her pay is little because it wasn't normal retirement). Everything I was telling him finally came to pass.

He rented an apartment with His friends, he later hated it, and said he wants his own, he went to rent an apartment of 600k (he gathered it from different places and he borrowed), which I really hate and we fought on that as well. Because he could have used the money to secure his life in a better way, since his complain when I told him to start a business is that he doesn't have money bla bla bla

He will not apply for better jobs as well
He's practically doing nothing to grow, and would say he hates Nigeria and he would like to leave, but he can't even apply for scholarships or even google schools.

So this 2020, Jan 1, I started fighting him, that I'm not going to continue with him like that, that he should go apply for MSC, start a business or just do something. He now started saying that he has responsibilities which are his siblings, I told him this is the nonsense, he would do till the year ends, we will fight and later resolve it.

He won't even talk about it, or get reminded, he makes me feel Hus boss is using him. I have told him several times how he would be used and dumped, in fact, he makes me say negatives sometimes, and that's because I have seen people that get dumped while working with companies and they fall back to grass, my mum won't even accept him because he works in a company, small company, not cocacola or big companies. My mum hates company works like shits because we've heard and seen people falling to zero due to company jobs.

The problem
1. He says I'm disturbing his life, and not allowing him to rest

2. I'm not happy with him living that way, with no future, no investment, hes not building himself while working, hes not doing courses, not learning any skills, and I think its too risky.
His current salary is not enough for him, not to talk of me collecting part of it. But he gives me money though, has not been more than 1k, 2k and data subscription which I really appreciate.

3. I can't introduce him to my family because I want him respected. Truth is I don't know what he would say to impress my parents because I'm not even impressed with him. And I want him to be superloved and respected. I believe in first impression would last very long. He has introduced me to his family and all friends

4. He never ask me about my own life, aspirations, advice me etc, I'm always the one to do that. Yesterday he had the gut to tell me I'm not caring because of just two days of not showing care

5. Corona has turned his company outside down and he's highly affected. Just like all what I was telling him finally happened, and he has nothing to fall back at. He has a car,

6. I can't marry him or anyone this way, and I'm getting old, though and I want marriage next year. He said he wants too, but I can't marry him like this. And I don't want to get to late twenties, and he breaks up and I start looking for husband, people would be thinking maybe I have a problem that is why I'm yet to marry, they won't know that its him that caused my delay. Plus I have a very high esteem, so I would hate to be desperate for marriage with a man or be the one to be wanting marriage so much in a relationship

7. Right now, we have temporarily break up, so I'm asking if I should break up or make up? Because he was saying rubbish last night

Note: I'm not a fan of dating and rubbish, I love him very much and I don't want to leave him at all. I don't think there's any man I can date as I do not like dishonesty at all and 95% of men are dishonest. My BF is very honest and good I'm every other aspect

You have an amazing heart. You want him to be successful. You feel his vision doesn't concur with yours. True.

The honest truth is that if you finally see a guy that have the same thoughts and vision like yours, you will have lots of things to complain about. His view about women, marriage and showing affection may be different. He may not make you feel like a woman. Make you feel loved. All he thinks is how to invest and make more money. He may forget your anniversary and birthday. He won't really care if he remembers and may see no need to make it up to you. It may not be general among ambitious guys but it is very likely.

Why not be that part he isn't. Why not make your thoughts a reality and a reference that will motivate him. Take the first step. Keep talking to him. Marriage is hardly about like poles. It's about unlike poles coming together to make whole.

Try to be at peace with him. How you pass the message matters more than the content of the message.

5 Likes

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by AkuOlisa: 12:26am On May 22, 2020
[color=#006600][/color]
Acmepreneur:

I'm a witch? Lol
Money is very important to me and to everyone. My siblings and I suffered due to poverty and we shouldn't be where we are today if not for poverty. My siblings won lots of things at junior level that was snatched away from us at our very own eyes. I don't want that for my children, I pray they are intelligent though

Why don't you strive to be successful instead of trying to force someone else to be successful ?

4 Likes

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by webani: 12:27am On May 22, 2020
I am looking for a wife,
If you are a christian (Born again)
Mature,
Not soon angry
From between the ages of 24 to 26
ready to be a wife
Not a feminist
willing to support a man in his dreams
Lives in the western states
Contact me on this email and i will put a call through to you
wiriweabani@yahoo.com

1 Like

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by AkuOlisa: 12:30am On May 22, 2020
[color=#006600][/color]
Acmepreneur:

I'm a witch? Lol
Money is very important to me and to everyone. My siblings and I suffered due to poverty and we shouldn't be where we are today if not for poverty. My siblings won lots of things at junior level that was snatched away from us at our very own eyes. I don't want that for my children, I pray they are intelligent though

How successful are you ?
You can not be forcing an idea on your boyfriend when you're not a living example.

2 Likes

Re: Should I Break Up Or Make Up With My Boyfriend? by vegafbs: 12:32am On May 22, 2020
Acmepreneur:
This my guy is not serious at all.

I used to tell myself change is the only permanent thing in life bla bla bla. And I really believe that once you take the right steps, you can be anything you want to be. This made me to be very soft with people.

When I started dating my Boyfriend, I really was not choosy or judgy. I accepted him without a second thought. I'm not the type of lady that actually do all those lady stuff, I'm a very serious person and I don't play games at all.
My BF is very cool, like not bad looking, normal behaviour etc and I like him a lot.

I'm a very ambitious person, with extremely big dreams, my boyfriend is also hard-working, but I'm not seeing any future at all with his career/prospects/life. When I say I'm with big dreams, it means I'm working on discovering (new innovations), planning big business that would compete with top brands, etc. I'm that big in dreams.

My children is also very important to me, I don't plan for their sufferings at all.
I'm an introvert, I find solace in my aspirations, dreams. I have books I work out those formulas (I mean how I would execute my business plans), I research a lot, think a lot, etc

Our fight now

Since day 1, I do tell him to do this and that. I really hate company works, so I would tell him to have savings, and be building something sideways where he works. Also, I wanted him to do Masters, since he said he would love to travel out, he's always saying he hates Nigeria bla bla bla. His dad also wanted him to do Masters, but he's in the crew of Masters is a waste of time, and he can't do Masters in Nigeria bla bla bla

Baby try this business, he would say he doesn't have money, he needs 2 million to start a business etc.

Meanwhile, he doesn't have money to travel out of the country to do Masters, nor 2m to start any business. So I would tell him to manage what he has first, and that would propelled him later, but he likes to talk like illiterates that Masters is meaningless.

Meanwhile, while that is true, those things are just like investment, you don't know when you will see an opportunity to use your Masters certificate, and since he studied computer science, I told him that it can even help him get a job outside Nigeria when he leaves, that it can be useful there. I understand the situation of the country, but not having masters doesn't mean you will get a job as well, so why don't you just have it.

My bf would shut me off, and also his dad, the dad even asked him to take job at the federal university where he works, but my bf said he can't work in that place, this is a federal government job o, he would say the salary is too small and people there already knows him, because his dad is in a big office in the university.

So it won't seem like I'm disturbing him, I went quiet, but might chip it in in discussions, but I don't fight him on those things. He works in a small company, and he rose to the position of a Manager, he spent all his time in office, the little time to waste with his friends. It's a good thing but I'm not comfortable with that, the pay is about 90k, which is not enough for his expenses, also he's the first born.

Fast forward to last year, his dad died, it looks like a film trick to him, he now have to take care of his siblings and mum (mum is nurse, but retired long time ago, her pay is little because it wasn't normal retirement). Everything I was telling him finally came to pass.

He rented an apartment with His friends, he later hated it, and said he wants his own, he went to rent an apartment of 600k (he gathered it from different places and he borrowed), which I really hate and we fought on that as well. Because he could have used the money to secure his life in a better way, since his complain when I told him to start a business is that he doesn't have money bla bla bla

He will not apply for better jobs as well
He's practically doing nothing to grow, and would say he hates Nigeria and he would like to leave, but he can't even apply for scholarships or even google schools.

So this 2020, Jan 1, I started fighting him, that I'm not going to continue with him like that, that he should go apply for MSC, start a business or just do something. He now started saying that he has responsibilities which are his siblings, I told him this is the nonsense, he would do till the year ends, we will fight and later resolve it.

He won't even talk about it, or get reminded, he makes me feel Hus boss is using him. I have told him several times how he would be used and dumped, in fact, he makes me say negatives sometimes, and that's because I have seen people that get dumped while working with companies and they fall back to grass, my mum won't even accept him because he works in a company, small company, not cocacola or big companies. My mum hates company works like shits because we've heard and seen people falling to zero due to company jobs.

The problem
1. He says I'm disturbing his life, and not allowing him to rest

2. I'm not happy with him living that way, with no future, no investment, hes not building himself while working, hes not doing courses, not learning any skills, and I think its too risky.
His current salary is not enough for him, not to talk of me collecting part of it. But he gives me money though, has not been more than 1k, 2k and data subscription which I really appreciate.

3. I can't introduce him to my family because I want him respected. Truth is I don't know what he would say to impress my parents because I'm not even impressed with him. And I want him to be superloved and respected. I believe in first impression would last very long. He has introduced me to his family and all friends

4. He never ask me about my own life, aspirations, advice me etc, I'm always the one to do that. Yesterday he had the gut to tell me I'm not caring because of just two days of not showing care

5. Corona has turned his company outside down and he's highly affected. Just like all what I was telling him finally happened, and he has nothing to fall back at. He has a car,

6. I can't marry him or anyone this way, and I'm getting old, though and I want marriage next year. He said he wants too, but I can't marry him like this. And I don't want to get to late twenties, and he breaks up and I start looking for husband, people would be thinking maybe I have a problem that is why I'm yet to marry, they won't know that its him that caused my delay. Plus I have a very high esteem, so I would hate to be desperate for marriage with a man or be the one to be wanting marriage so much in a relationship

7. Right now, we have temporarily break up, so I'm asking if I should break up or make up? Because he was saying rubbish last night

Note: I'm not a fan of dating and rubbish, I love him very much and I don't want to leave him at all. I don't think there's any man I can date as I do not like dishonesty at all and 95% of men are dishonest. My BF is very honest and good I'm every other aspect

You start is as poor as your finishing...
When you encourage someone, it's different from nagging. All I see here is NAGGING from the beginning to the end, you made me feel you are the best of the relationship and without you he's no more. You even make case for your parents as if you are God who sees both the inside and the outside of the minds grin Orisirisi
You said he doesn't have a dream, is traveling not a dream? If Heaven smiles on his traveling plans will it not overshadow all your plans? Why make it look as if he's got no direction in life

Support his dream if you love him, if you don't and can't support him the choice is yours... I don't think it's wise for anyone to ask you to leave him.

4 Likes

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