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How can I go about it? - Romance - Nairaland

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How can I go about it? by Jonn01: 1:22pm On Jun 09
Goodmorning nlanders I
I have an issue at hand, growing up I never really considered relationships as one important aspect of life. I remember during my secondary school days while my mates are into relationships, I was the only one left out. They usually make fun of me but I don't really care. Fast forward to my university days, I still remember a day I was sick, at the health center the doctor asked me about my relationship life, the man was shocked at my reply and was like'are you a pastor'.


In my final year, I had my first gf, with all sincerity this girl was the best type of girl any man could possibly ask for. She was so sweet, caring and loving. She is very independent and has this entrepreneurial spirit, not all this I need money or I want girls. I don't like going out with her because if we do, she would insist on paying or we split the bill. If I get angry at her for that, she would probably go the least expensive thing there.


She is really caring and I can remember a lot of wired sacrifice she was willing to make for me. Let me also add, she has no secrets, she gave me all passwords for her phone, banking details, infact anything that has to do with password. If she steps out and a guy ask for her number she gives them mine and tells me about it. She tell me everything about her daily and can call me 5 times a day just to find out how I'm doing.


To cut the long story, she she broke up with me four months ago, ever since then I can't get her off my mind. I tried a lot of things like My self engaged in meaningful things but it hasn't helped.
We still talk once in a while, sometimes she just text me sometimes just to find out I'm doing but If I call her myself she could take ages to reply.


I tried reconciling with her but she keeps telling me I pushed her to it because I took her for granted, she said she has another guy but she can't deny the fact she still thinks about me , she said her bf fought her many times because she mistakinly call my name instead of his own. I often get absent minded nowadays.
Re: How can I go about it? by SavageBoy: 1:37pm On Jun 09
Jonn01:
Goodmorning nlanders I
I have an issue at hand, growing up I never really considered relationships as one important aspect of life. I remember during my secondary school days while my mates are into relationships, I was the only one left out. They usually make fun of me but I don't really care. Fast forward to my university days, I still remember a day I was sick, at the health center the doctor asked me about my relationship life, the man was shocked at my reply and was like'are you a pastor'.
In my final year, I had my first gf, with all sincerity this girl was the best type of girl any man could possibly ask for. She was so sweet, caring and loving. She is very independent and has this entrepreneurial spirit, not all this I need money or I want girls. I don't like going out with her because if we do, she would insist on paying or we split the bill. If I get angry at her for that, she would probably go the least expensive thing there.
She is really caring and I can remember a lot of wired sacrifice she was willing to make for me. Let me also add, she has no secrets, she gave me all passwords for her phone, banking details, infact anything that has to do with password. If she steps out and a guy ask for her number she gives them mine and tells me about it. She tell me everything about her daily and can call me 5 times a day just to find out how I'm doing.
To cut the long story, she she broke up with me four months ago, ever since then I can't get her off my mind. I tried a lot of things like My self engaged in meaningful things but it hasn't helped.
We still talk once in a while, sometimes she just text me sometimes just to find out I'm doing but If I call her myself she could take ages to reply.
I tried reconciling with her but she keeps telling me I pushed her to it because I took her for granted, she said she has another guy but she can't deny the fact she still thinks about me , she said her bf fought her many times because she mistakinly call my name instead of his own. I often get absent minded nowadays.






If this story of yours is real,then go get her

She is the one with your missing rib grin

She seems to be the ideal girl any guy can ever pray for

what caused the fall out between the both of you??undecided

1 Like

Re: How can I go about it? by djoe21(m): 1:41pm On Jun 09
Have you finished, or is there a continuation?
Re: How can I go about it? by OLDESTWARRIBOY: 3:28pm On Jun 09
Are girls like this still in this country? Op please elaborate on the breakup, she said you took for granted...like how? What happened?
Re: How can I go about it? by Fidelismaria: 3:49pm On Jun 09

it was all a LIE


time to move on








Re: How can I go about it? by Agboki: 3:53pm On Jun 09
grin grin grin grin any stage of life wey u jump u must always come back 2 am.

1 Like

Re: How can I go about it? by Colb461: 3:57pm On Jun 09
taking her for granted hw?
Re: How can I go about it? by themaestro08(m): 4:08pm On Jun 09
Jonn01:
Goodmorning nlanders I
I have an issue at hand, growing up I never really considered relationships as one important aspect of life. I remember during my secondary school days while my mates are into relationships, I was the only one left out. They usually make fun of me but I don't really care. Fast forward to my university days, I still remember a day I was sick, at the health center the doctor asked me about my relationship life, the man was shocked at my reply and was like'are you a pastor'.
In my final year, I had my first gf, with all sincerity this girl was the best type of girl any man could possibly ask for. She was so sweet, caring and loving. She is very independent and has this entrepreneurial spirit, not all this I need money or I want girls. I don't like going out with her because if we do, she would insist on paying or we split the bill. If I get angry at her for that, she would probably go the least expensive thing there.
She is really caring and I can remember a lot of wired sacrifice she was willing to make for me. Let me also add, she has no secrets, she gave me all passwords for her phone, banking details, infact anything that has to do with password. If she steps out and a guy ask for her number she gives them mine and tells me about it. She tell me everything about her daily and can call me 5 times a day just to find out how I'm doing.
To cut the long story, she she broke up with me four months ago, ever since then I can't get her off my mind. I tried a lot of things like My self engaged in meaningful things but it hasn't helped.
We still talk once in a while, sometimes she just text me sometimes just to find out I'm doing but If I call her myself she could take ages to reply.
I tried reconciling with her but she keeps telling me I pushed her to it because I took her for granted, she said she has another guy but she can't deny the fact she still thinks about me , she said her bf fought her many times because she mistakinly call my name instead of his own. I often get absent minded nowadays.





One of the stories here that got me cry. First how did the relationship went south - what went wrong?

However, there is no point crying over spilt milk.its incredibly hard to let go - I have been there so I know how you feel cry, but you can. Move on. Find another girl ASAP. Getting a replacement will dissipate her thought in your mind.
Re: How can I go about it? by Jonn01: 12:21am On Jun 12
Her excuses ;
1. That I don't call her often, the thing is all my family members are abroad so the only way we communicate is through WhatsApp, so I'm used to that. I do drop her messages but she said it was not enough.

2.There was a time she wore a gown, it was a bit skimpy but I didn't say anything. When she came back she said I didn't care about her because she espected me to be angry about what she wore.

3.i have all her passwords, she doesn't have any of mine. I'm not hiding anything anything from her just that I find it weird for her to be going through my phone.


4.There was a time she wanted me to meet her mom but I said no. Also I never mentioned about her to my parents. The reason for that is because my parents are more of the career type.



5.she made mention of background,her thinking is her parents are not as rich as mine so they might not like her.. Lol

I never knew her new guy was helping her with a lot of things like project, assignment and other school work. She was like she just wanted me to stay with her while she was working not as if she needed my contribution.
I also forgot to add, this guy calls her 24 /7, she said she espected me to bid her to stop picking his calls.
Re: How can I go about it? by Jonn01: 12:25am On Jun 12
OLDESTWARRIBOY:
Are girls like this still in this country? Op please elaborate on the breakup, she said you took for granted...like how? What happened?

Bros, he shock me to o. The girl day independent and she no go ask for anything even if she need it
Re: How can I go about it? by Jonn01: 12:47am On Jun 12
Colb461:
taking her for granted hw?
I no understand her, immagine her being mad at me for allowing her to do my domestic chores cry
Re: How can I go about it? by PureGoldh(m): 1:14am On Jun 12
Chairman,

See eeh......in dx life....Oluwa dey try show us the way but if we looseguard another person go just carry the luck.

Take for example, Esau in the Bible,he was busy catching cruise unto say nothing go sup that Las Las he go collect him birthright but Jacob that was so keen about it used Porridge yam to pick up that mantle of leadership.

In ur own case,the deed have already been done but you can still have your way into her life....Relax,take it bit by bit..... No over~speeding.

Just call her from time to time....No even bring up r/ship Matter again...Just normal checks.....by so doing...you go rekindle the love that existed between una...and make sure you dey occupied with things wey to add up to ur future...No dey overthink.

Good luck chief.
Re: How can I go about it? by Bola146(f): 5:33am On Jun 12
Yes you took her for granted, maybe you were not giving her some of your little time but all na shakara grin grin . If you truly love her, go after her but if you see that she no longer has a genuine love for you again, please find another lady. I have once fell in deep love with a man like that before, he never have time for me, he would not call nor text even if he see my missed calls or messages for a week( I knew that he was playing me then, maybe he was busy flexing with other women, I don't know) I have to give up, he is still disturbing me till today, but I had to let him go because I don't love him again. So Op, if she doesn't love you again, let her go, that is woman for you
Re: How can I go about it? by TerryMcGinis(m): 7:59am On Jun 12
[quote author=Jonn01 post=90571387]Her excuses ;
1. That I don't call her often, the thing is all my family members are abroad so the only way we communicate is through WhatsApp, so I'm used to that. I do drop her messages but she said it was not enough.

2.There was a time she wore a gown, it was a bit skimpy but I didn't say anything. When she came back she said I didn't care about her because she espected me to be angry about what she wore.

3.i have all her passwords, she doesn't have any of mine. I'm not hiding anything anything from her just that I find it weird for her to be going through my phone.


4.There was a time she wanted me to meet her mom but I said no. Also I never mentioned about her to my parents. The reason for that is because my parents are more of the career type.



5.she made mention of background,her thinking is her parents are not as rich as mine so they might not like her.. Lol

youre nt even planning on changing, u jst lost a jewel, u go soon find out.
Re: How can I go about it? by boxer022(m): 8:18am On Jun 12
My brother what I can tell you is that despite been your first time in a relationship, you found a very nice girl that is worth going after. You said she broke up with you some months ago because you took her for granted, my question there is how did you do that? I would have asked you why you did that but since it's your first relationship, you may not have done it intentionally. I can see that the love and feeling is still there between the two of you, did you explain to her that your relationship with her was the first relationship in your life? She broke up with you and moved on but she is not happy in her present relationship which from your write up is abusive. My little advice to you is when next she calls or you call her, plan a date together and at the date discuss your last relationship with regards to how you took her for granted, apologize to her for taking her for granted. If possible plan another date with her, where you discuss the possibility of coming back together to continue the relationship. NB: at both dates if she offers to share the bill with you, please don't argue with her, just let her share it with you. Good luck.

2 Likes

Re: How can I go about it? by Jonn01: 8:35am On Jun 12
boxer022:
My brother what I can tell you is that despite been your first time in a relationship, you found a very nice girl that is worth going after. You said she broke up with you some months ago because you took her for granted, my question there is how did you do that? I would have asked you why you did that but since it's your first relationship, you may not have done it intentionally. I can see that the love and feeling is still there between the two of you, did you explain to her that your relationship with her was the first relationship in your life? She broke up with you and moved on but she is not happy in her present relationship which from your write up is abusive. My little advice to you is when next she calls or you call her, plan a date together and at the date discuss your last relationship with regards to how you took her for granted, apologize to her for taking her for granted. If possible plan another date with her, where you discuss the possibility of coming back together to continue the relationship. NB: at both dates if she offers to share the bill with you, please don't argue with her, just let her share it with you. Good luck.
Thank you
Re: How can I go about it? by Crownstar01: 8:44am On Jun 12
Jonn01:
Goodmorning nlanders I
I have an issue at hand, growing up I never really considered relationships as one important aspect of life. I remember during my secondary school days while my mates are into relationships, I was the only one left out. They usually make fun of me but I don't really care. Fast forward to my university days, I still remember a day I was sick, at the health center the doctor asked me about my relationship life, the man was shocked at my reply and was like'are you a pastor'.


In my final year, I had my first gf, with all sincerity this girl was the best type of girl any man could possibly ask for. She was so sweet, caring and loving. She is very independent and has this entrepreneurial spirit, not all this I need money or I want girls. I don't like going out with her because if we do, she would insist on paying or we split the bill. If I get angry at her for that, she would probably go the least expensive thing there.


She is really caring and I can remember a lot of wired sacrifice she was willing to make for me. Let me also add, she has no secrets, she gave me all passwords for her phone, banking details, infact anything that has to do with password. If she steps out and a guy ask for her number she gives them mine and tells me about it. She tell me everything about her daily and can call me 5 times a day just to find out how I'm doing.


To cut the long story, she she broke up with me four months ago, ever since then I can't get her off my mind. I tried a lot of things like My self engaged in meaningful things but it hasn't helped.
We still talk once in a while, sometimes she just text me sometimes just to find out I'm doing but If I call her myself she could take ages to reply.


I tried reconciling with her but she keeps telling me I pushed her to it because I took her for granted, she said she has another guy but she can't deny the fact she still thinks about me , she said her bf fought her many times because she mistakinly call my name instead of his own. I often get absent minded nowadays.




The fact is she thinks about you sometimes indicate that she's still in love with you. Stop worrying and get a grip on yourself. Talk to her man to woman and she will be yours again. Trust me. wink
Re: How can I go about it? by naturalproduct: 9:36am On Jun 12
Bro
If you are super convinced about the girl. The pointer is here that she still want you. What you need to do is to Outspend the guy by doing what she has always desire from you. then she will swing to ur side.
Re: How can I go about it? by boxer022(m): 9:37am On Jun 12
Jonn01:

Thank you

You are most welcome.
Re: How can I go about it? by Jonn01: 12:13pm On Jun 12
Bola146:
Yes you took her for granted, maybe you were not giving her some of your little time but all na shakara grin grin . If you truly love her, go after her but if you see that she no longer has a genuine love for you again, please find another lady. I have once fell in deep love with a man like that before, he never have time for me, he would not call nor text even if he see my missed calls or messages for a week( I knew that he was playing me then, maybe he was busy flexing with other women, I don't know) I have to give up, he is still disturbing me till today, but I had to let him go because I don't love him again. So Op, if she doesn't love you again, let her go, that is woman for you

Tnks
Re: How can I go about it? by Jonn01: 12:31pm On Jun 12
Crownstar01:
The fact is she thinks about you sometimes indicate that she's still in love with you. Stop worrying and get a grip on yourself. Talk to her man to woman and she will be yours again. Trust me. wink
Thanks chief, ladies are really complicated. The first month after the breakup it was like we are still together. There was a day she waited almost 2hrs to just say 'hi' that day I was with my level cord so I couldn't meet her till I was through with what I was doing. Then when the lockdown started, she was like I shouldn't talk to her again but of recent she do send me text and calls attimes but when I explained the whole situation to she still said no
Re: How can I go about it? by Jonn01: 12:32pm On Jun 12
naturalproduct:
Bro
If you are super convinced about the girl. The pointer is here that she still want you. What you need to do is to Outspend the guy by doing what she has always desire from you. then she will swing to ur side.
Thanks boss
Re: How can I go about it? by Crownstar01: 2:32pm On Jun 12
Jonn01:

Thanks chief, ladies are really complicated. The first month after the breakup it was like we are still together. There was a day she waited almost 2hrs to just say 'hi' that day I was with my level cord so I couldn't meet her till I was through with what I was doing. Then when the lockdown started, she was like I shouldn't talk to her again but of recent she do send me text and calls attimes but when I explained the whole situation to she still said no
You shouldn't have explained everything to her, just a little part of it will do. wink

You see, you need to know when a woman is genuinely frustrated with you over your poor behaviour, or she's just verbally expressing her frustration at not being the one to run the show. cheesy

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