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Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. - Family - Nairaland

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Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by Romangalactic(m): 8:13am On Jul 15, 2020
Do not be manipulated or brow beaten into settling for less than you want.

If you need a working woman with a minimum level of income as a wife, don't settle for anyone who earns less.
If you can't get married to your current girlfriend due to one reason or the other, please break up and go for who you prefer.
If you want to marry a virgin despite being someone who had deflowered someone before, my brother it's your choice, go for it because there are still virgins out there.
If you can't get married to a woman above a certain age, make sure you don't or you will hate yourself for it.
If you can't marry a woman from a certain region or tribe because you know your family might be biased towards her, oga don't go and fall in love with such lady.
If fine face or big nyansh or big breast is something you know turns you on, please and please only marry someone with it otherwise cheating will come very easy to you.
If you will like to marry a professional woman (doctor, chartered accountant, lawyer, engineer), then guide your interactions and limit it to women from those professions you desire, they are out there.
If marriage is something you absolutely do not want and just want to be a baby daddy, go for it, you did not kill person.

The most grievous crime you can commit against yourself in life as a man is to settle with a woman who does not fit into your spec at least 95%. You will not have a desire to impress her and will slack which will cause issues between both of you, or you will cheat on her easily, or you will be taking your mother's side over her simply because you don't think she is better than your mother.

You are a man and the nature has bestowed on you the power of choice and options, something which is a lot harder for women because they were not the ones meant to do the choosing.

Every women wants a wealthy man for a husband, but wealthy men are simply not plenty so they always settle for less. Every man on the other hand wants a beautiful woman with attractive body, and these are very plenty. YOUR CHOICE.
Women don't mind how many sex partners a man has had, they will still marry you even when they know it's better to marry a virgin man but these virgin men are not plenty so they always settle for less. Men on the other hand prefer to marry virgin women and guess what, they are still many despite what you may think, just be on the lookout. YOUR CHOICE

So you can see, the power of choice amid a plethora of options is available to you as a man and you have enough time to make the best selection even at 40 years.
Women don't have this benefit of choice and time because they want the best wealthy man (who is already scarce) but have to grab him in the shortest time (which they don't have), so they will always be forced to settle for less than they actually want.

This is not to put down women or start gender war, this is just undiluted life facts.
You are the prize as a man, make use of the benefits nature has blessed you with and choose fittingly.

Happy mid-week to you all .

17 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by bukatyne(f): 8:17am On Jul 15, 2020
Good post.

It is now left for the choice to place a premium on herself and determine you are worthy of her. wink

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by Nobody: 8:21am On Jul 15, 2020
bukatyne:
Good post.

It is now left for the choice to place a premium on herself and determine you are worthy of her. wink
First time I would agree with you. Well said.

4 Likes

Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by Romangalactic(m): 8:24am On Jul 15, 2020
bukatyne:
Good post.

It is now left for the choice to place a premium on herself and determine you are worthy of her. wink
Very true. She simply has to choose who is worthy of her under limited time, and should not settle too.

2 Likes

Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by Acidosis(m): 8:27am On Jul 15, 2020
chivera018:
First time I would agree with you . Well said.

That shows that something is seriously wrong with your mentality and existence.


Good post OP.

6 Likes

Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by Nobody: 8:32am On Jul 15, 2020
Acidosis:


That shows that something is seriously wrong with your mentality and existence.


Good post OP.
Something is seriously wrong with you. I don't have to agree with everything Buka or anyone says.
Bringing my existence here, aren't you stupid ?
So I was created to agree with whatever Buka says?

18 Likes

Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by Priam: 8:51am On Jul 15, 2020
Nice thread OP.

But watch as these angry feminists will come for your head in 3... 2.... 1.....
Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by Liposure: 9:32am On Jul 15, 2020
Oh my goodness. This is eye opening.
Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by LordKO(m): 9:37am On Jul 15, 2020
Yes, a man is the prize - may a woman choose you for marriage remains a curse, forget about any nonsense wokeness, because in the end your sacrifice through action love is what'll mainly sustain the marriage while absence of it will mar it. So it behooves on you, as a man, to choose a woman who deserves your love - acceptance is of the woman.

However, citing your number one suggestion, I believe if he marries her because she earns a certain "minimum level of income," or solely because of any material consideration, the marriage will either end or become a hell for her peradventure she loses her source of income or becomes deformed to earn an income.

Well, only crass, expedient and disingenuous women deserve majority of your suggestions, not conscientious women, since they lean towards egoistic conviction like small-minded men.

Personally, I still believe that marriage should be based on mutual conviction of ethic - attribute is permanent. So to any conscientious man, marry a woman with whom you share same ethical leanings, provided that she's pleasing to your eye, not conventionally beautiful, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

A conscientious person is automatically a resourceful and productive person.

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by bukatyne(f): 9:38am On Jul 15, 2020
Romangalactic:

Very true. She simply has to choose who is worthy of her under limited time, and should not settle too.

Post has been slightly modified cheesy

Whether under limited or not, it is her right to choose who is worthy of her. wink

2 Likes

Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by bukatyne(f): 10:10am On Jul 15, 2020
Acidosis:


That shows that something is seriously wrong with your mentality and existence.


Good post OP.

Maka why?
Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by bukatyne(f): 10:11am On Jul 15, 2020
chivera018:
Something is seriously wrong with you. I don't have to agree with everything Buka or anyone says.
Bringing my existence here, aren't you stupid ?
So I was created to agree with whatever Buka says?

No vex.

chivera018:
First time I would agree with you. Well said.

Strange considering I have a thread built on the post you quoted.
Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by Nobody: 10:57am On Jul 15, 2020
I agree with you but I have a problem with this PRIZE nonsense I keep reading everywhere. Why would anyone feel like a PRIZE? What makes you the PRIZE? Who made you PRIZE. If a Man is the Prize shouldn't he be fought for, chased, proposed to etc. What good effect does being a PRIZE have in Marriage? Is it right to have such ridiculous mentality in Marriage?

I don't have problem with people's choices or standards, I don't have problem with your thread op. But I believe it is unhealthy to have that PRIZE mindset in a union because it is only a matter of time before any partner who feels like the price start acting as one.

7 Likes

Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by LordKO(m): 11:11am On Jul 15, 2020
Ariza:
I agree with you but I have a problem with this PRIZE nonsense I keep reading everywhere. Why would anyone feel like a PRIZE? What makes you the PRIZE? Who made you PRICE. If a Man is the Prize shouldn't he be fought for, chased, proposed to etc. What good effect does being a PRICE have in Marriage? Is it right to have such ridiculous mentality in Marriage?

I don't have problem with people's choices or standards, I don't have problem with your thread op. But I believe it is unhealthy to have that PRICE mindset in a union because it only a matter of time before any partner who feels like the price start acting as one.

Prize isn't price, before you continue your. . . . Relax first and make effort to know the context prize is used.

3 Likes

Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by Nobody: 11:26am On Jul 15, 2020
LordKO:


Prize isn't price, before you continue your. . . . Relax first and make effort to know the context prize is used.
That was a typo. I know what context it's used... And I repeat nobody is a PRIZE or should feel like one in a Healthy relationship.
The moment you start feeling like a PRIZE please stay single!


BTW, since you believe Men are the Prize, mind sharing what makes them the prize? Infact please explain it to me... Maybe I can see from another perspective. Simple English will be appreciated..grin

5 Likes

Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by LordKO(m): 11:59am On Jul 15, 2020
Ariza:
That was a typo. I know what context it's used... And I repeat nobody is a PRIZE or should feel like one in a Healthy relationship.
The moment you start feeling like a PRIZE please stay single!


BTW, since you believe Men are the Prize, mind sharing what makes them the prize? Infact please explain it to me... Maybe I can see from another perspective. Simple English will be appreciated..grin

LOL, trouble maker! Honour of choosing makes a man the prize, not because he's superior to the woman, and it ends after acceptance or declination from the woman. Any definition other than this or something similar from a man that leans towards superiority is embedded chauvinism.

1 Like

Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by Nobody: 12:33pm On Jul 15, 2020
LordKO:


LOL, trouble maker! Honour of choosing makes a man the prize, not because he's superior to the woman, and it ends after acceptance or declination from the woman. Any definition other than this or something similar from a man that leans towards superiority is embedded chauvinism.

Well, I'm not a trouble maker and I do not intend to be one. If your perspective of PRIZE is about choosing and it's ends after acceptance or declination lol well it's not harmful to any form of relation. However to play the devil's advocate tongue Men get to choose who to marry, women get to choose who to date (foundation of intending marriage) and whose biological gene/traits survive till the next generation(human continuity) Oya nah who's the prize now?

Now that's Me being a trouble maker angry

2 Likes

Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by LordKO(m): 12:46pm On Jul 15, 2020
Ariza:
Well, I'm not a trouble maker and I do not intend to be one. If your perspective of PRIZE is about choosing and it's ends after acceptance or declination lol well it's not harmful to any form of relation. However to play the devil's advocate tongue Men get to choose who to marry, women get to choose who to date (foundation of intending marriage) and whose biological gene/traits survive till the next generation(human continuity) Oya nah who's the prize now?

Now that's Me being a trouble maker angry

No vex, I didn't call you "trouble maker" literally.
Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by Tripitaka: 12:47pm On Jul 15, 2020
Romangalactic:

Every women wants a wealthy man for a husband, but wealthy men are simply not plenty so they always settle for less. Every man on the other hand wants a beautiful woman with attractive body, and these are very plenty. YOUR CHOICE.
Women don't mind how many sex partners a man has had, they will still marry you even when they know it's better to marry a virgin man but these virgin men are not plenty so they always settle for less. Men on the other hand prefer to marry virgin women and guess what, they are still many despite what you may think, just be on the lookout. YOUR CHOICE

This is quite an interesting POV; one that is prevalently relatable (even though there's a whiff of misogyny). In romantic relationships, men are mostly characterised as dominant while women are deferential, cases of dominering women and subservient men is hardly the norm but an exception - an exception to the rule. The power in the choice of a partner or spouse lies mostly with the man and as is always said "it is the man who chooses a spouse, the woman only has right of refusal".

I agree that men should not be intimidated into settling for less, but no one should be intimidated into settling for less anyway. If you want a voluptuous woman, then go for it; you want a housewife, go for it; you want a wealthy man, go for it; you desire a six-packed man, go for it.

Only problem is that women have the little issue of biology to contend with while making these choices as they may not have the luxury of time - one that a man has in abundance.

5 Likes

Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by DontBullshitMe: 1:07pm On Jul 15, 2020
Thread creator, God will bless you.

1 Like

Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by Nobody: 1:17pm On Jul 15, 2020
LordKO:


No vex, I didn't call you "trouble maker" literally.
No offence taken...


In all Let all keep their prizes to themselves and come together as one. This life no hard at all. grin

2 Likes

Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by Glendoni: 1:54pm On Jul 15, 2020
Tripitaka:


This is quite an interesting POV; one that is prevalently relatable (even though there's a whiff of misogyny).
I thought I was the only one who spotted the misogynistic tone.

5 Likes

Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by Vyolet(f): 2:05pm On Jul 15, 2020
I thought the woman should be a prize for a man, I mean three different men can ask a woman's hand in marriage with three of them competing with every resource, money, looks, prospects, family background and many others. The woman is the one to choose so how is the man suddenly a PRIZE?

6 Likes

Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by bukatyne(f): 2:22pm On Jul 15, 2020
Tripitaka:


This is quite an interesting POV; one that is prevalently relatable (even though there's a whiff of misogyny). In romantic relationships, men are mostly characterised as dominant while women are deferential, cases of dominering women and subservient men is hardly the norm but an exception - an exception to the rule. The power in the choice of a partner or spouse lies mostly with the man and as is always said "it is the man who chooses a spouse, the woman only has right of refusal".

I agree that men should not be intimidated into settling for less, but no one should be intimidated into settling for less anyway. If you want a voluptuous woman, then go for it; you want a housewife, go for it; you want a wealthy man, go for it; you desire a six-packed man, go for it.

Only problem is that women have the little issue of biology to contend with while making these choices as they may not have the luxury of time - one that a man has in abundance.

That's why women need to know their leverage and play their game well.

If they do, no limits.

And where is the misogyny? cheesy
Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by 0Brien: 2:59pm On Jul 15, 2020
Vyolet:
I thought the woman should be a prize for a man, I mean three different men can ask a woman's hand in marriage with three of them competing with every resource, money, looks, prospects, family background and many others. The woman is the one to choose so how is the man suddenly a PRIZE?

They actually chose you by approaching you. You only have the choice to accept or refuse their proposal.

You also have the option to choose too and let the man accept or refuse. Have you seen the way girls chase after wealthy men and pray he picks them as a partner or wife.

The point is that men have more options in choice of a partner than women. Whatever the case, I don't believe in the prize mentality.
Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by Liposure: 3:42pm On Jul 15, 2020
LordKO:


LOL, trouble maker! Honour of choosing makes a man the prize, not because he's superior to the woman, and it ends after acceptance or declination from the woman. Any definition other than this or something similar from a man that leans towards superiority is embedded chauvinism.

if men are the prize like you said. Then we won't bother chasing women. Even bride price won't be paid

1 Like

Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by Tripitaka: 3:49pm On Jul 15, 2020
bukatyne:


That's why women need to know their leverage and play their game well.

If they do, no limits.

And where is the misogyny? cheesy

Somehow, I could sense a thinly veiled misogynistic tone; misogyny in the context of contempt and not necessarily hatred. His text painted women as being in a state of helplessness and inherently lacking the gift of choice.

12 Likes

Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by bukatyne(f): 3:50pm On Jul 15, 2020
0Brien:


They actually chose you by approaching you. You only have the choice to accept or refuse their proposal.

You also have the option to choose too and let the man accept or refuse. Have you seen the way girls chase after wealthy men and pray he picks them as a partner or wife.

The point is that men have more options in choice of a partner than women. Whatever the case, I don't believe in the prize mentality.

@bold:

In stages my friend.

There is a season that women have their pick of choice men at their finger tips while their male counterparts would be struggling to get a girl.

Then the table turns and the awkward boy grows into a full eye candy and emerges into his season where he now has the power of choice.

Cc: Tripitaka

The problem is now when a woman wants to wait till the season of a man to show interest in a relationship.

At that stage, the choice is in the man's hands.

Are there exceptions? Yes.
Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by LordKO(m): 3:51pm On Jul 15, 2020
Liposure:
if men are the prize like you said. Then we won't bother chasing women. Even bride price won't be paid

Boys and small-minded men chase women; men/aristocratic men command women's attention and followership, not as subordinates though, and choose among them.

4 Likes

Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by bukatyne(f): 3:55pm On Jul 15, 2020
LordKO:


Boys and small-minded men chase women; men/aristocratic men command women's attention and followership, not as subordinates though, and choose among them.

Oshe!

It is more of stage thing:

A 23yr old guy would chase a lady (mode would now depend on his class):

A 30 year old guy put together would have women eating from his palms.

Ditto women, just flip the age.

1 Like

Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by LordKO(m): 4:01pm On Jul 15, 2020
bukatyne:


Oshe!

It is more of stage thing:

A 23yr old guy would chase a lady (mode would now depend on his class):

A 30 year old guy put together would have women eating from his palms.

Ditto women, just flip the age.

Mama de mama! No vex, I've never chased a woman all my life and I've never known heartbreak, even as old man wey I be now.

I've always walked the walk without being hurt and without being the direct reason someone would feel hurt.

1 Like

Re: Dear Black Man, It's Okay To Want The Best For Yourself. by bukatyne(f): 4:03pm On Jul 15, 2020
LordKO:


Mama de mama! No vex, I've never chased a woman all my life and I've never known what is heartbreak, even as old man wey I be now.

I've always walked the walk without being hurt and without being the direct reason someone would feel hurt.




grin

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