Acidosis:


I understand your point but I don't like the rich-poor dichotomy when it comes to issues such as this.

Ignorance or arrogance is the only reason anyone, whether rich or poor, in this age will birth many kids. It takes more than money to raise 2 kids, so a rich man that goes around distributing sperm like dispenser is not in anyway better than the poor man with many kids. His money won't raise a proper child, if other factors are missing.

So I don't like to give people the impression that as soon as they make some money, they're free to do whatever (the kind of message Nigerians gave Davido, WizKid, Flavour, and more to come).

Money is not why Tony Elumelu or Dangote choose to keep it minimal. They're simply informed and educated -- a virtue a poor man in a one room sef con can possess; a virtue the rich 2face failed to learn on time.

When you see the extent of love some kids from poor backgrounds show their parents, you would understand there's more to these things, especially when you hardly see the same level of love between rich kids and their parents. Go figure.

unclecycs:


Did seriously ask me if my hustle was legitimate ? Please do not insult me ,I'm sure a lot of us would be having perfect lives with the benefit of hindsight nothing u hav said here I ain't heard tons of times ,did u never make mistakes for which you learnt bitter lessons and are probably a better man for it ? Or u just grew up to be a perfect man who knew everything and never made mistakes ?

Efewestern:


When those who have experienced life talk, I know, Bless for this sir.

Most people think because they are financially stable, then they have life figured, life can be funny, and in a twinkle of an eye, everything can turn in favour or against you.

I understand some points the OP raised, like we should limit the rate we give birth to uncountable kids, but that shouldn't be directed to poor people alone.

unclecycs:
The points raised by the original poster are somewhat unimpeachable , a man is better of planning a sustainable future , but life can happen to a man and someone who doesn't know better might suggest he hadn't a plan, I use myself as an example ,before I decided to get married , i had at least 50m in raw cash and probably worth about 80m in assets and cash summed together , I had two cars (2010 spiders and lexus rx350) and a very comfortable apartment wit a plan to commence my home project after marriage , of course everything looked set for a very comfortable sustainable future and the ever ambitious guy that I am I married a woman who brought serious value to the prospect, fastforward to 2 years after marriage throw in series of investments that went very bad and a couple of not very informed financial decisions and everything is gone, I just laugh when I think of it all ,these days I look at the price tag of goods lol!! Again a man is better of having a plan for his future but life is just bleeped up and one never knows it all ,some.may counter argue that I made bad decisions as result responsible for the unfortunate turn of events but you never know it all and there is such a thing as good luck,yeah I said it cuz I know people who lived life carefree and continue to beat the odds with opportunities after opportunities , not everyone has this luxury , there is no one true path to a successful life , just millions of paths unique to everyone else,when a man sits and has the opinion he has it all figured out and can now talk authoritatively on very sensitive subject bothering on life , it's almost as if fate decides to take a bet against such a man and fate wins always .you could be rich and comfortable with investments and all and one government policy diminishes your wealth or wipes u out , and you could wind up like the guy living in the uncompleted building, would it then be fair to accuse you of not having planned your life ? Sometimes some of us young guys , when we start making a lot of progress ,it brings some kind of faux
wisdom , you got it all figured out ,you Marry a lady who got it all figured out and you both make decent money and lifes good , then you tell your wife honey! We got this let's not have kids for 3 years let's save up and grow wealth etc cuz you both are educated and have everything figured out and then when you do want the kids , just maybe, fate decides to give you general picking , no kids and sex becomes a job that gives you blisters on your member , or you have a kid and it wont breath or some weird birth complication science ain't have name for.yet and u spend /liquidate half or all of your savings/assets to save the kids life cuz then wealth wont matter,you just wanna see your child survive and u wind up broke and then you become a philosopher asking rhetorical questions to your POP roofing .Sooner or later everyone grows older lonely and in need of companionship , I used to "life coach" too wear business suits and tell people how to be successful and how not to live their lives and I realise I do not have all the answers for the folks discounting the presence of God in the affairs of men I can only say a big sorry as you may find truth indeed when it has become too late , who decided blood must be red? Ad most flow through veins in a humans body, Science can explain how but science cannot explain why , why did it have to be blood and why did it have to be composed of cells that turn red when in contact with oxygen, why not mercury or HCL these are mystries some of us attribute to the workings of a supreme being and science respects this , all of us young men who are doing fine must become humble and stop talking in finality about human affairs,you dont want to take a bet against fate, paddle your canoe quietly and help a brother whenever and wherever you can and keep your mouth shut , when u are 50 or 60 and have beat the odds of life then you can speak to younger folks and not be deemed arrogant ,,,,,,, I don talk my own

Komu1048:



Blessed are they that blessed thee and curse are those that curse thee.

Your poverty stricken life will be legendary

hamzeiy:

And to think that the person you quoted isn't even a Muslim but a fellow Christian like you...yet we are the ones suffering from your lack of home training and religious decency...
You should know that no true knowledgeable Muslim would ever insult Jesus Christ or his mother Mary....we regard them in high extreme and insult to them is tantamount to blasphemy....
Yet you complain why seun puts condition before allowing riffraff like you to comment on Muslims post...it's is rather unfortunate.

mrchineke:


Sorry bro but you didn’t sound like someone who has ever handled 20m let alone 80m. It is almost impossible to go from 80m to 0, impossible unless there is war or a major natural disaster. How? How did you make the money in the first place, and over what time period?

You story and rambling just doesn’t stack up.

mrchineke:


The message should be targeted at the poor!!!!

DexterousOne:


Dude
Do you know how many kids Elumelu have?

SmartPolician:


If I show you my balance, you will keep quiet for good

merieam16:
nd who ur balance kon epp? will u clear off my mention, make i see beta people 4 front.

aycapri:
Well, the truth is marry a woman that has vision. Things was not as good as it is for me currently before I got married. All glory be to God now, I’ve attempt what a man should at least have in terms of physical achievements. Mind you, Just 30 recently

decatalyst:


1. Thank you for lending help to that frustrated man and for at least alleviating his misery for a few days with the 10k.

2. Someone can be a victim of circumstance and choose to remain a victim of the circumstance or jakpa from it! Like the common saying 'how does a poor man manage to have erection...even sustained enough to donate a baby'?

3. Clearly, the man is not living a purposeful life, neither does he have any plan to change his fortune. How can you go ahead and marry/cohabit with a lady that will largely depend on you, in that present state? Why should they choose to add or compound their misery by having a baby in that state? Gosh! No iota of reasoning!

4. As for yielding to some hogwash acceptable societal teachings of "there is blessing in marriage" is utter nonsense! Lemme use the word of this dude on Nairaland "a real niggerr" takes charge of his life and decides which way/path he want to follow.


He is simply not a man! The child should demand for "accountability" when he/she is grown!

kestolove95:
Don't blame them, they wia brainwashed by the lies in the Bible dat says "he who find a wife has found a good thing and obtain favour from the Lord" that is the favour his obtaining from d Lord now..

Poseidon000:
Sup guys. I've something that have always earned the acme of my discountenance. And that's how men crudely jump into marriage in other to conform to societal dictate or for some selfish satisfaction.
This have gotten me pensive and I'll make no ado in getting to the nucleus of the issue.

Yesterday, I was headed toward gwarimpa, and on my way I noticed a disheveled young guy around Efab estate trekking by the express.
As a rule, I always give such guys 'lift,' because i was once with a female colleague in a lonely path that seldom have cars coming our way, suddenly one private car stopped and when I tried entering after my female colleague boarded, the SIMPson bounced me out and zoomed off with an empty back seat.

That incident birthed in me a sense of solidarity and understanding of what men go through just for being men, but yesterday, I was so incensed by a botch job my mechanic did that I drove past. After about 4 hours when I had everything sorted and was heading back, I saw the same guy heading toward my direction again(it's a dual carriage way) and he was sweating profusely, so I beckoned on him to enter. We got talking and I inquired why he's trekking such a long distance. He said: he went to look for a job that wasn't successful and he's going back to Arab road.
But this is just a miniscule of the guy's travail. He grew up in abject poverty.In fact, they gave birth to him and his sister in an uncompleted building. His dad died in that building, his sister got pregnant for some riffraff and they started what we call "abuja marriage", his mom subsequently fell sick and died in the same uncompleted building. Then the owner of the building decided to complete it, and drove him away.

Now, this guy was able to get another uncompleted building to stay, and as I'm typing this, he's with wife and kids. This is a person that don't have food at home and can not afford N150 to and fro.

I gave him 10k but I was so mad with him; I mean, I was disconcertingly appalled that this guy will think of marriage in his privation. Why not be a little bit comfortable before considering marriage, instead to face life with the dignity of a breadline.

Sadly, this is the same mistake lot of guy's have been making thinking they'll fall into some stupendous money as soon as they marry, and this is mostly perpetuated by religious charlatans who say; a man's destiny is predicated on his future wife, that as soon as he gets married, the special blessing tied to marriage will start opening way for him.

That's a mendacious twaddle that will leave you in a precarious situation. Please guys, have 'comfort' afoot before you dabble into marriage.

What's your take on this?

onwuakpachris:
bigs up man...u did well...as for that poor dude...that's how they bring innocent kids into this terrible world to suffer with them..if u can't comfortably feed..then js suffer nd die alone na...even if u love sex more than the Indians that breed like rabbits..use protection na or embrace family planning...anyways it all boils down to the FAM he was born into...poverty plus illiteracy/ignorance..and ceteris paribus (all things being equal)..his kids will still continue in that cycle of poverty..illiteracy nd ignorance..nd so his grand kids...passing on d baton of poverty from one generation to d other...what nonsense..

emmanuelewumi:



Slow and steady wins the race, what was the foundation of the N80 million Networth you had before you got married which evaporated 2 years after your wedding?

Was the hustle, a legitimate one ?

Diversification is key, some Investment of the N80 million should be in your business, FG bonds, real estate, Treasury Bills, if you have the knowledge of the stock market you can also invest some in it.

But what some of do is that because we want hot and fast money, we will invest all the N80 million in a new venture that offered extremely juicy returns, which is akin to gambling at the end of the day we will lose all and start all over from square one.


Risk management and having our personal prudential guidelines are very important.


We should pray for the best, plan for the worst and prepare for surprises and disappointments

SmartPolician:

Wey rey

SmartPolician:


Wey rey

Frezhkid10:
..yup...do you have job for me??..

mrchineke:


@bold

Rubbish! May be your brother is super lucky and belongs to 0.005% of the population of married men in today’s Nigeria.

The guy you quoted is 200% correct!

And I observe his comments hit you really hard!
The truth is bitter.

emmanuelewumi:



It won't be a bad idea to get to know her better, you guys will form a wonderful team. I am very serious.

mrchineke:


True but damn too few. So few that you just disregard this.

zmpp:


The way you make noise on issues about money, people who do not know you too well would think that you and your family are rich. A Nigerian family that does not have assets that worth even twenty million naira in total should not be making noise about money everywhere.

Klass99:

Lol, oh you can say this again.
I have noticed the pattern too.

Klass99:


This is so on point.

mrchineke:


Sorry bro but you didn’t sound like someone who has ever handled 20m let alone 80m. It is almost impossible to go from 80m to 0, impossible unless there is war or a major natural disaster. How? How did you make the money in the first place, and over what time period?

You story and rambling just doesn’t stack up.

kestolove95:
Don't blame them, they wia brainwashed by the lies in the Bible dat says "he who find a wife has found a good thing and obtain favour from the Lord" that is the favour his obtaining from d Lord now..

placeofallure:


Blasphemy! Profanity!
Is there anywhere the OP mentioned the man is Christian or got married in a church? Even African traditional, local beliefs think blessings come from marriages, why are you quick to ascribe that to the Bible?
Whether you're Egungun or not, I'll still tell you to be careful!

Westernlove:


Why Is that you females beings are the ones who are always carrying this wedding stuff on head like gala and lacasera. Pls free we Men that have sense jare......

unclecycs:


Normally I would take my time to school you but you lost the right to a comprehensive response from me when you concluded my post was "ramblings" Feel free to form whatever conclusions come to your mind I would no longer engage u if u think my post is mere "ramblings " the anonymity provided by a faceless forum allows you to say whatever to anyone you do not know ,I do not blame you , enjoy and by the way no where in my post did I say I had gone to zero , if someone "looks at price tags on goods " does that suggest someone in the zero ? If u had read my post without a childish prejudice you would find I implied I had gone from buoyancy to tight budgeting, damn I've said more than I wanted to you , you clearly do not deserve a decent response and are not worth the typing , I do not like been engaged by people who use insults to make an argument so please have a nice day

Poseidon000:


If this is your idea of recrimination, then you suck at it. Just so we're clear; it's been eon I last had a relationship. I'm comfortable, but I presently don't have a woman friend not to talk of a wife, so, your postulation is balderdash.

Let me pretend to believe what you said about your brother: that your brother have a different story, does not mean it's the prevalent case. In fact, his case is miniscule on the scale of 1/10 as obtainable in our society. Now, no sensible man will predicate his future on the probability of 'one' against 'nine.' That's akin to looking for a needle in a haystack. Not that there's no needle in the haystack, but what are the odd of finding it.

* No, I'm not God, but even the Christian Bible says: "A man who can't provide for his family, is worse than an infidel."

Just so you know, marriage give you this hustling mindset to be on your toes.
The highlighted is one of the major lies I aforementioned.
Let's put it into perspective. If as a bachelor you earn 4k per day, then spend 1k for feeding and another 1k for miscellaneous, leaving you with 2k to save for future investment that will avail you the financial laxity to venture into other enterprise or expand existing one, thus increasing your earning power to say 10k per day. At this juncture, you're to a large extent impervious to the cost implication of running a family. So, it's fine.

Now, let's say you got married with an earning of the same 4k per day. Remember you were spending 2k as a bachelor and saving the remaining 2k for the future. What you'll discover as a married man, is that; 4k will be barely enough to service the family, leaving you on the path of stagnancy, cause you'll be feeding from hand to mouth with no savings to venture into new waters of financial promise. Basically, you'll be retrogressing with the rise in inflation and graduating family expenses. In no time, you'll be wizened with dejection and suffering, consequently embroiling the innocent children you sired, in your self inflicted debacle.


Nuff said.