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Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. - Romance (11) - Nairaland

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Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by PROPHETmichael: 7:43am On Jul 30, 2020
Chinkos99:
Our company recently employed this guy, we worked in the same company before, then he was a manager and i was a junior staff.

I left the company years ago and joined another, so few months ago he got employed in my new office as a Director.

When he resumed, being that i knew him before, i started playing around with him, like when he was introduced to us, i was like oo, common, i hug him tightly and people were surprise at our closeness before i informed them that we have worked together before.

I am a jovial person, so each time i go around his office, i will call him boyfriend, my love, hope no girl is trespassing cos i will fight o and his subordinates will laugh and say you are not serious.

On the job, we get to work together at times cos i am a Manager now, we go for meetings etc, then some of his job includes doing some short production, even though i am not employed as a video producer, i told him i can do those for him personally, cos i recently learn those, he was surprise before but he decided to give me a try, i did it for him and he liked it, he became close and said i was helping him solve alot of problems.

Recently when he comes to my office, he will ask my PA where is my woman and that one will laugh knowing i started it but i just thought that was it though.

So last month when we went to the Palms Mall, to seek for permission to film their facilities in the short production work we had, we were together then he decided to do some shopping, i helped him carry the things he bought and just had fun, he took me to shoprite and ask me to shop, i just pick two things, drink and rice and he said is that all i said yes, he started showing me things, take this, take that i said i was okay, that it wasnt appropriate to come here and start shopping like its month end. So we left, in the car he said, you do have some very good attribute girl, i said like what, he said never mind and we drove off.

After that he started asking if we can have lunch but most time our lunch time dont sync, so i told him not to worry, then he asked for a dinner, i close late, im a workaholic, so most times i will agree but i will work till 9pm and he would have waited and get tired and left.

Finally i get to have a dinner date with him and he ask if we could do this more often, i said why not boyfriend jokingly, the next time we were having dinner, I said boyfriend let me greet that guy there, i really needed to meet him, he has a contact i need for work, he held me and said you call me boyfriend jokingly, i want you to mean it lol.

After i met with the guy, he started telling me how he loved me and how he will really love us to be in a relationship, he doesnt expect a yes and he knows its so wrong on all level because we work in the same place, but i can think about it and give him a response later that he will respect any decision i make.

I said thank you o, but since then, dude is so soft and nervous when he sees me, i can see the butterflies even when we are in a client meeting.

Even though he tries not to make it obvious at work, after work he is all over me

Last night we were together, i told him i am scared as he is almost 40 and not married, that i believe any guy who gets to that age, with enough money but has not married is a play boy lol. He couldn't say a word for like some minutes then he said, yes i am old enough to have been married and i had relationships, beautiful relationships with wonderful women, some didn't work because of my mistakes and because of things i neglected and some didn't work because it was not meant to work, but above all have learnt alot to be at least a better man and i am ready to make it work this time i promise, i have no doubt if you are the right girl because have known you for long and have never had a second thought about my woman, so forgive me for not making it work all these while, i want to make it right this time - MEHN THOSE WORDS RINGS IN MY HEAD LIKE KILODE, i loved the fact that he didnt put the blame on the ladies he's dated.

Now on my own side, I do not feel anything for him but i like him alot, i like that we should be hanging out, go out, do dinner and talk from morning tonight but i do not feel anything aside that. What do you guys advise.
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by princeogbeide1(m): 7:52am On Jul 30, 2020
Chinkos99:


Hey I didn't set him up
Just took him as a workmate/ bestie

You are a fool. What's the name of your company? Why are you so foolish? At your age your brain still have bestie mentality. I detest girls like you.

2 Likes

Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by bummyla(m): 7:56am On Jul 30, 2020
May God forgive you for leading this young man on! https://www.God.bingo
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by ImaIma1(f): 7:59am On Jul 30, 2020
Chinkos99:


Hey I didn't set him up
Just took him as a workmate/ bestie


You led him on. On your part, you think it was innocent but to him, you were giving him the green light. Although, I believe you knew what you were doing because you are a grown woman.

Sometimes love develops and that kind of love that starts from friendship and grows into "love" is most times solid. You can give it time. But not too much time because you shouldn't lead him on for too long only to dash his hopes. Or you can step back and allow another woman love him.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by sureteeboy(m): 8:04am On Jul 30, 2020
princeogbeide1:


You are a fool. What's the name of your company? Why are you so foolish? At your age your brain still have bestie mentality. I detest girls like you.
Lol. It's a copied story that has been circulating since 4 years ago. I doubt if it's ever true in the first instance

2 Likes

Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by iInjureHerYansh: 8:14am On Jul 30, 2020
Amb1045:
introduce him to nairaland let's give him redpill. you opened up a young man emotions now u want to back out. very stupid act from you. dude might be a simp to fall in love. I wish I was the guy make I break your heart and with your emotions
Hehehe badt guy grin
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by Omar09(m): 8:25am On Jul 30, 2020
The man in the op stories have been seeing some red flags from this girl which I have spotted but still wants to be with her, and even getting butterflies (which is normal).

I'm a workaholic and so I stay late and usually don't make it in time for date >>>> Red FLAG
There's saying: we are never too busy for the ones we love.

Jokingly calling you boyfriend and takes time to give a reply after making a proposal >>>> Red FLAG

The man is a simp if he still wants to be with op.

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by Nobody: 9:24am On Jul 30, 2020
Have u all watched that video by apostle Suleiman or sth, where he said" A brother was walking past a woman & d woman liked d man but she said Taa! Im a woman I must maintain my dignity, no I'm a woman I must maintain my dignity, and Suleiman reminded the woman she's 30 oo! This op is the girl apostle Suleiman was talking about, people that like somebody but rather than admit it and open up, but pride, arrogance and that' she's a woman and as a woman men should only chase her and not the other way round is what is playing out here, mind u op isn't confused,no she knows she likes d man but don't want t be d first to propose or profess her undying love 4 this poporri man, That's y many of them aren't married at 30yrs, cos they miss opportunities cos they re proud and arrogant, anyways nne, if u like this boy, do us a favour and add to the society one good happy family that loves each other but all the same this girl is a pathological manipulator, she's acting all innocent or cute but deep inside this type of girls are evil, they lead people on and act as though nothing is happening, play on people's emotions, use them to further their own personal interests in the workplace, in as much as this op is a manipulator, she's doesn't necessarily mean evil!
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by Ken26(m): 9:25am On Jul 30, 2020
For me the best relationships & marriage begins wit friendships
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by Mypeople2(m): 9:35am On Jul 30, 2020
Chinkos99:
Our company recently employed this guy, we worked in the same company before, then he was a manager and i was a junior staff.

I left the company years ago and joined another, so few months ago he got employed in my new office as a Director.

When he resumed, being that i knew him before, i started playing around with him, like when he was introduced to us, i was like oo, common, i hug him tightly and people were surprise at our closeness before i informed them that we have worked together before.

I am a jovial person, so each time i go around his office, i will call him boyfriend, my love, hope no girl is trespassing cos i will fight o and his subordinates will laugh and say you are not serious.

On the job, we get to work together at times cos i am a Manager now, we go for meetings etc, then some of his job includes doing some short production, even though i am not employed as a video producer, i told him i can do those for him personally, cos i recently learn those, he was surprise before but he decided to give me a try, i did it for him and he liked it, he became close and said i was helping him solve alot of problems.

Recently when he comes to my office, he will ask my PA where is my woman and that one will laugh knowing i started it but i just thought that was it though.

So last month when we went to the Palms Mall, to seek for permission to film their facilities in the short production work we had, we were together then he decided to do some shopping, i helped him carry the things he bought and just had fun, he took me to shoprite and ask me to shop, i just pick two things, drink and rice and he said is that all i said yes, he started showing me things, take this, take that i said i was okay, that it wasnt appropriate to come here and start shopping like its month end. So we left, in the car he said, you do have some very good attribute girl, i said like what, he said never mind and we drove off.

After that he started asking if we can have lunch but most time our lunch time dont sync, so i told him not to worry, then he asked for a dinner, i close late, im a workaholic, so most times i will agree but i will work till 9pm and he would have waited and get tired and left.

Finally i get to have a dinner date with him and he ask if we could do this more often, i said why not boyfriend jokingly, the next time we were having dinner, I said boyfriend let me greet that guy there, i really needed to meet him, he has a contact i need for work, he held me and said you call me boyfriend jokingly, i want you to mean it lol.

After i met with the guy, he started telling me how he loved me and how he will really love us to be in a relationship, he doesnt expect a yes and he knows its so wrong on all level because we work in the same place, but i can think about it and give him a response later that he will respect any decision i make.

I said thank you o, but since then, dude is so soft and nervous when he sees me, i can see the butterflies even when we are in a client meeting.

Even though he tries not to make it obvious at work, after work he is all over me

Last night we were together, i told him i am scared as he is almost 40 and not married, that i believe any guy who gets to that age, with enough money but has not married is a play boy lol. He couldn't say a word for like some minutes then he said, yes i am old enough to have been married and i had relationships, beautiful relationships with wonderful women, some didn't work because of my mistakes and because of things i neglected and some didn't work because it was not meant to work, but above all have learnt alot to be at least a better man and i am ready to make it work this time i promise, i have no doubt if you are the right girl because have known you for long and have never had a second thought about my woman, so forgive me for not making it work all these while, i want to make it right this time - MEHN THOSE WORDS RINGS IN MY HEAD LIKE KILODE, i loved the fact that he didnt put the blame on the ladies he's dated.

Now on my own side, I do not feel anything for him but i like him alot, i like that we should be hanging out, go out, do dinner and talk from morning tonight but i do not feel anything aside that. What do you guys advise.
My dear, you are like a lady that went to a guy's house,took her bath there, wore only his shirt without under wears and later in the morning complained of rape.
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by Mypeople2(m): 9:46am On Jul 30, 2020
karnap:
See why I have problem with girls
You don't love him but you huge him so well with your pushup bra breast making the man feels you have a feeling for him.
You don't love him but jokingly calling him boy friend, do you think any lady for serious relationship will have feeling for the man? You are standing on the gate that you don't want to enter keeping other people away from it too, that's wickedness
You allow him takes you out for a dates buys you food and drinks, the money the man would have use it for something Important.
You have tie the man down making him developed full feeling for you and now you are running away.
Where do you keep your own relationship, you annoy me.
Are you listening to her? Imagining parking her car in the guy's garage and saying she doesn't like the garage .How can you be playing with a 40year old man as if he is a small boy ? Babe you are wicked

1 Like

Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by Vicky99(f): 9:48am On Jul 30, 2020
When that man decided to leave you or ignore you, that love you don't hv for him will rush out like fire. Be wise.
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by totosucker(m): 10:13am On Jul 30, 2020
Chinkos99:


Hey I didn't set him up
Just took him as a workmate/ bestie
You set the guy up, stop lying to yourself. You also love the man but you don't want to admit it
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by princeogbeide1(m): 10:19am On Jul 30, 2020
sureteeboy:

Lol. It's a copied story that has been circulating since 4 years ago. I doubt if it's ever true in the first instance

Certainly... I hate clueless girls who doesn't know the impacts of what they do and what they want.
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by cybriz82(m): 10:35am On Jul 30, 2020
Chinkos99:


Hey I didn't set him up
Just took him as a workmate/ bestie

Setup n bestie all still join .
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by baebeenayoka: 10:44am On Jul 30, 2020
Na wa o, what exactly were you hoping to achieve with all these your innocent jokes? You showed him green light and he responded and you want to cut out? Look, na we die here things o. Seems you already liked him, you'll learn to love him with time.
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by fattprince(m): 11:29am On Jul 30, 2020
MrBrownJay1:


bro, Toto is the name of a child (not pussy), lol.
Lol, okay bro. I fear oh
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by Nobody: 12:41pm On Jul 30, 2020
It will definitely come soon. Just tell him to wait a little while and if u know u aint getting the feelings, then both of you have to move on but I believe it will come sooner or later. U will still love him even more.
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by Bahddo(m): 12:42pm On Jul 30, 2020
Stop flirting with people you don't feel anything for! Humans are not toys.
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by TheKingIsHere: 1:04pm On Jul 30, 2020
Outlaw07:
a girl also entangled me same way this lady did , I question her what she was actually looking for she will just be looking at me when ever she see me eating she always want to join me,please run from such girls before you regret, because men that do easily fall for such things find it hard to move on

Wow, so how did you cope? Where you able to break free or still trapped in her web?
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by ChinagoChiBoy: 1:04pm On Jul 30, 2020
Wolgrace:
Hahahaha. Ladies' mastery of cunningness and deception is highly charmful & intoxicating..!

Madam, your first platonic move was a shot and huge rope you tied around his neck, and your aromatic charm is now leading him astray while making us to view you as innocent. You're playing a smart game on him, its quite impressive, but deceptive!!

Analysing your story, you've the mastered the art of deception. Jokes apart, right from genesis, you know this friendship would exceed this level with your permissive love chants, as our society demands a man to ask a lady out.

He finally did after making him drunk by your deceptive intoxication, & you have no feelings for him in other to opt out? Or trapped him as a means to sniff his pocket despite working in same company? Or are you trying to make us think you deserve him? Or waiting for us to give you a go ahead?

Another angle is that you guys might be destined together despite fate allowed to meet the second time, but EVE SYNDROME in you might blind and destroy you.
Blunt!!!,
you layed it bare bro,
Truth from the seventh heaven
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by MackDams(m): 1:32pm On Jul 30, 2020
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Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by MackDams(m): 1:34pm On Jul 30, 2020
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Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by tightpussy156: 3:09pm On Jul 30, 2020
stupid girl.u sound like a bitch,an olosho.u don't feel anything for him but u love his money,he takes you out spend right,you gave him signal,red light by calling him boyfriend,love, honey an so just to make urself available for him now he is doing the toasting you are now asking nairaland stupid question.you no wat to do bitch an stop deceiving urself.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by greggng: 3:17pm On Jul 30, 2020
Chinkos99:

Please advise me


Both of you have come a long way . Just check other things like family , genotype etc..in a nutshell if that guy is serious about marriage go ahead
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by karnap(m): 3:24pm On Jul 30, 2020
Mypeople2:
Are you listening to her? Imagining parking her car in the guy's garage and saying she doesn't like the garage .How can you be playing with a 40year old man as if he is a small boy ? Babe you are wicked
Very wicked
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by musachara: 3:29pm On Jul 30, 2020
he told you when he had feelings for you, you should do the same. you said he is forty, he is matured enough to handle it, keep the relationship but let him know you don't want anything more than that, as long as that isn't what you want
Chinkos99:
Our company recently employed this guy, we worked in the same company before, then he was a manager and i was a junior staff.

I left the company years ago and joined another, so few months ago he got employed in my new office as a Director.

When he resumed, being that i knew him before, i started playing around with him, like when he was introduced to us, i was like oo, common, i hug him tightly and people were surprise at our closeness before i informed them that we have worked together before.

I am a jovial person, so each time i go around his office, i will call him boyfriend, my love, hope no girl is trespassing cos i will fight o and his subordinates will laugh and say you are not serious.

On the job, we get to work together at times cos i am a Manager now, we go for meetings etc, then some of his job includes doing some short production, even though i am not employed as a video producer, i told him i can do those for him personally, cos i recently learn those, he was surprise before but he decided to give me a try, i did it for him and he liked it, he became close and said i was helping him solve alot of problems.

Recently when he comes to my office, he will ask my PA where is my woman and that one will laugh knowing i started it but i just thought that was it though.

So last month when we went to the Palms Mall, to seek for permission to film their facilities in the short production work we had, we were together then he decided to do some shopping, i helped him carry the things he bought and just had fun, he took me to shoprite and ask me to shop, i just pick two things, drink and rice and he said is that all i said yes, he started showing me things, take this, take that i said i was okay, that it wasnt appropriate to come here and start shopping like its month end. So we left, in the car he said, you do have some very good attribute girl, i said like what, he said never mind and we drove off.

After that he started asking if we can have lunch but most time our lunch time dont sync, so i told him not to worry, then he asked for a dinner, i close late, im a workaholic, so most times i will agree but i will work till 9pm and he would have waited and get tired and left.

Finally i get to have a dinner date with him and he ask if we could do this more often, i said why not boyfriend jokingly, the next time we were having dinner, I said boyfriend let me greet that guy there, i really needed to meet him, he has a contact i need for work, he held me and said you call me boyfriend jokingly, i want you to mean it lol.

After i met with the guy, he started telling me how he loved me and how he will really love us to be in a relationship, he doesnt expect a yes and he knows its so wrong on all level because we work in the same place, but i can think about it and give him a response later that he will respect any decision i make.

I said thank you o, but since then, dude is so soft and nervous when he sees me, i can see the butterflies even when we are in a client meeting.

Even though he tries not to make it obvious at work, after work he is all over me

Last night we were together, i told him i am scared as he is almost 40 and not married, that i believe any guy who gets to that age, with enough money but has not married is a play boy lol. He couldn't say a word for like some minutes then he said, yes i am old enough to have been married and i had relationships, beautiful relationships with wonderful women, some didn't work because of my mistakes and because of things i neglected and some didn't work because it was not meant to work, but above all have learnt alot to be at least a better man and i am ready to make it work this time i promise, i have no doubt if you are the right girl because have known you for long and have never had a second thought about my woman, so forgive me for not making it work all these while, i want to make it right this time - MEHN THOSE WORDS RINGS IN MY HEAD LIKE KILODE, i loved the fact that he didnt put the blame on the ladies he's dated.

Now on my own side, I do not feel anything for him but i like him alot, i like that we should be hanging out, go out, do dinner and talk from morning tonight but i do not feel anything aside that. What do you guys advise.
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by saeed123: 4:03pm On Jul 30, 2020
Ok
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by MetaPhysical: 7:32pm On Jul 30, 2020
Chinkos99:

Take that in private
Lol

grin. I love your response. You get sense well well. cheesy
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by Chinkos99(m): 7:36pm On Jul 30, 2020
musachara:
he told you when he had feelings for you, you should do the same. you said he is forty, he is matured enough to handle it, keep the relationship but let him know you don't want anything more than that, as long as that isn't what you want
Hmmm
Re: Resurfaced: I Don't Love Him But This Is Happening, Advice Needed. by Xinox: 9:32pm On Jul 30, 2020
Chinkos99:

Hmmm
chinkos

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