How has love treated you in this pandemic? I hope you have not given up on love? I know there are many sad, not too sad, and pleasant experiences with our relationships or love lives during this pandemic. I am here to help lift the hearts of those that have given up or doubt the possibility of finding love or rekindling that spark in your relationship in these strange times.



Before I move further, I must put a caveat here, that for this to work, the tips I am giving aren't a guarantee but if you can follow them and be hopeful, there is a high probability that it will work out for you. Some of these tips are in the form of a question. The first thing you need to do is to:



1 Discover yourself (Man Know Thyself)



Many people are yet to really discover themselves, that is, who they really are. In other to have an expectation from someone, you must be able to have some qualities to offer. So who are you?



In other to answer that question, you ought to be able to answer these questions- What are your likes and dislikes? What do you intend to achieve in the short and long term? what are your weaknesses and strength? answering these questions helps you to know yourself better and build your personality or the kind of personality you desire (Look out for my write up on the four major types of personality, soon. I will give a whole new perspective as regards our personality and what we ought to do about it).



2 Develop yourself



Sometimes, people go into a relationship, with high expectation of their partner meeting their needs or managing their weaknesses. For a relationship to work or for love to grow, you must not enter or stay in a relationship as a burden to your partner. This is why you must spend time and resources to build yourself and personality so as to stand out and be more of a solution than a problem to people.



That was why I mentioned the need to discover yourself first, in other to know your areas of weakness so as to strengthen them and in addition, to develop some attributes you may fall short of.



For example, a person who has majorly, a choleric personality should work on learning how to manage temperaments or the need to acquire training or certification.



So having searched yourself to discover areas you need to work on, like anger management, personal hygiene, and environmental cleanliness, being independent and having an independent mindset, being hardworking, being open-minded and so on, we move to the next step.



3 What kind of personality are you compatible with?



Sometimes people tend to look for people with almost same personality or attributes as themselves but we must understand that your partner is meant to compliment you, in other words, whether he or she is of the same personality or not, your partner is supposed to help build you and make you better in some areas you are weak and likewise you towards your partner.



In a nutshell, focus on knowing who you want to get committed to. Don’t be distracted by how physically or financially attractive he or she is. This then takes me to the next question, how do you get to understand or know the attributes or personality of the person you happen to be interested in?



4 Getting to know the person you are interested in better



This is an important stage as it is towards the final stage. Many people lose focus here because they usually easily carried away with the affection been shown here or they are carried away by the need to satisfy their emotional, sexual, or material desires.



Before I go further, I would like to recognize the fact that there is a possibility that this interaction may take place via social media. No matter the means by which you get to meet a person either physically or distance, ensure you keep the communication ongoing and be sure that there is a good chance of you both seeing physically after the pandemic (that is if the pandemic is restricting your ability to get to meet physically). So for those not able to physically socialize, take advantage of the many dating apps available, and give it a try. Don’t give out too much personal information until your initial conversations make you feel the person is worth giving a chance into your life.



That being said, now what is expected of you at this stage is to focus and keep engaging each other in conversations and tasks while you both socialize, lack of focus here may make you miss some important grey areas or weakness that may lead to the collapse of the relationship. Make the person open upon his character or perspective towards various issues. This is not the time to play all perfect and nice, as it is common with many people. You have to observe if he or she is playing all perfect and nice so that you can make the person uncomfortable. This will enable you to see most part of your true personality.



When you are satisfied that you have seen the “good”, “bad” and the “ugly”, then you take the next step.



5 How do you know what choice to make?



This stage is also important so pay attention. You have observed and seen most of the character and personality. It would be impossible for you to understand or know everything about a person, even if you spend the rest of your life with that person, so learn and observe the basic things that are dislikes and likes to you.



Now, if you discover that the person’s weaknesses are things you can cope with for the rest of your life, please move to the next stage but if you discover there are one or two grey areas of weaknesses that you may find difficult coping with after a while, please kiss the friendship goodbye and move on with your life. Don’t try to work on such a person or try to be patient with such a person till he or she changes, it is not your duty to do that, you can recommend the person to a counsellor to help him or her work on such attributes or you could recommend this write up to such a person to start with, before recommending the counsellor.



6 Define the relationship



At this stage, the person has passed the test but the relationship must be defined. That is, any one of you can bring it up that is, “this is what I expect of this relationship”. If you want a casual or serious relationship, is it going to include sex or not, is it okay to cohabit in the process, are there plans that it could lead to marriage or not and so on. You both should sit and communicate and spell out the necessary things. From now henceforth, communication is key as it will help to build or mare the relationship. Discover different ways to communicate and different situations. (look out for my write up on communication in relationships)



7 Be optimistic



Please do not carry your previous errors or regrets into this new relationship. Be positive and hopeful that things will turn out fine. There is no assurance that your first or second attempt will work but never give up. There is no relationship that is perfect, it is just two imperfect people working towards perfection. Do not allow third-parties unnecessarily into your affairs but find a way to resolve it. When you read up on my write up on communication in relationships, it should help to give you insights on how to resolve most issues amicably.

Collosal:
True love doesn't exist.

Nawa o see long article on top love

I guess it is cause you have given up on it. We may not see that perfect love you wish among humans but love exists and it grows with time, commitment and working towards it.

Bro so u expect some body like me to read all this Becus of love? Who love epp? Omo 9ja girls ae 3 for 5naira abeg.

Timothy6:
Bro so u expect some body like me to read all this Becus of love? Who love epp? Omo 9ja girls ae 3 for 5naira abeg.

Plenty girls is not equal to love

8. You must have money