Why do you keep writing "we" in place of "will"? Stop embarrassing your community.

TooGod247:
my brother u are confuse, go for dey money and leave dat dry pocket individual alone, before u we start comply of ur problem to us again after marriage, the problem buhari put us now is worst dan worldwar two, no free pussy again, any pussy u Bleep and u dont pay, d next day u we hear rape, back den pussy are free, now money must be involve for pussy, i dont want to mention about everyday crime, unemployment case etc. let me drop my poor preek pen here.

You said you fiancee is a cheat a has characters that you wish she would change abi? And she said some annoying words to you that you're keeping to yourself abi? And it's those words that held you back from doing your traditional wedding before Corona abi?? And you always go down south when she's with you??
OP what other sign do you need?? Should God come down from his throne for you sake before you break and destroy the relationship with her??
Anyways, what do I even know?? I've not been to the stage you're before and they said it's "he who wears the shoe knows where it hurt".
I'll end by saying you should PRAY about EVERYTHING.

My response is going to be long so you should be patient to read to the end like I did yours. I'll first talk about the best process take to marriage, before addressing your issue specifically

The idea of marriage is one that has been highly misunderstood, leading to abundance of errors and missteps. A lot of men are in bad marriages today simply because they failed in processes leading to marriage

Marriage is about grooming yourself to be the right person to play a particular role (husband &father) in marriage and finding the right person who is willing and able to play the other role (wife &mother) along with you in marriage. Someone who comes as an asset, not a liability. Someone who understands you and who you also understand. Someone who would be glad to have you help them with their shortcomings and who you would be willing to have help you with your own shortcomings

Marriage involves playing of roles and carrying out of functions by the individuals involved and compatibly, in terms of temperament, and tolerance, in terms of shortcomings are key issues. Without putting these into consideration in the beginning of the process of finding a mate, disaster becomes very likely

When you make a decision to get married as a man, your first step should be to pray consistently about it to God to connect you to your own true wife and give you the wisdom to recognize her when you meet her.

Your next step would be to describe to yourself, if possible in writing, the kind of woman that you're looking for to play the part of your wife in your marriage, in terms of personality, character, emotional and psychological balance, fidelity, femininity, faith, hospitality, tolerance, humility, godliness, etc: you describe the ideal person (realistically) who you will be comfortable to live with FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE (and without any regrets or unforgivable/unforgettable bad memories): You have to keep in mind that the decision you make will live with you for the rest of your life. It can make or mar you.

The idea is not that you're looking for a woman who is perfect in all things or who ticks ALL the boxes, (cos truthfully, no one can). You're looking to find the one who ticks the most boxes of your list 70%-80%: someone always does.

The reason you do this beforehand is so that your mind is programmed to identify these characteristics in the woman you're looking for, so you don't just fall for anyone. When you meet such a woman, you then get to court her or spend time with her (couple of months or more) to get to know how consistent she is with those characteristics. The truth is you need a list to guide you cos when you don't know what you're looking for or where you're going to, you'll never be able to recognize it when you see it or get there.

Fact is, you shouldn't even be in a relationship with a woman who falls short of the basics or most important aspects of your list, to begin with, cos then, having led her on for a long time, you'll feel guilty leaving her for someone else in the end, and as you can see from your experience, it's not that easy

Being a grown up man means learning to make life decisions on the things that affect you the most, based on what best suits you first before any other person. In marriage, your expectations and needs come first before that of parents, siblings or society, as regards your choice of mate cos they're not the ones who would live with this person on a day to day basis. You are the one to face the challenges that come with it. Take this analogy: when you measure for clothes, the tailor takes measurements and sews according your own personal physical attributes and tastes, not according to your family's, or society's general measurement. So also in marriage.

I'm not saying that they shouldn't be taken into consideration, no! Just that their needs, in this regard, shouldn't be top of your list. And you shouldn't introduce someone who has not crossed the threshold of your list to your family in the first place cos it would be harder for you to break things off after your family has warmed up to her.

Having said all this, I'll address your case specifically, first, with this Japanese proverb that says: No matter how far you've gone on the wrong road, turn back!

The question now is are you presently on the wrong road in terms of your current fiancée, or not. One way to find out is to make a list of the things you would like to experience with your wife and compare it what you're experiencing with her at the moment. Does she fit the mould up to 70% or more? Secondly, are there any resentments you have towards her that have refused to go away? Can these resentments be taken care of before marriage? Does she forgive easily? Can you trust her to be faithful? If your answer to these questions are no, especially the first and last questions, then you know that you're most likely on the wrong road.

Remember, there is no miracle that happens at the altar (or court house) during marriage that transforms that person you're marrying into a better version of themselves. If they have bad qualities going up to the altar, they'll come back still with those same attributes: there's no miraculous transformation of personality that takes place.


Concerning the other girl that your mind is hung up on I'll drop this portion of scripture from one of the extra books of the Bible - Ecclesiasticus (Sirach) 7:19 and it says

"Don't miss your chance to marry a wise and good woman"

Having said that, I would also add that all that glitters isn't gold. Before making any rash decisions, do your homework about this other girl, if you eventually decide to go for her, or any other girl for that matter that you might consider for marriage and see how much they fit your list and how consistent they are to those characteristics

The point of all my long write-up is that, in this case of marriage, you do what's good for you. Not anybody else.


I'll admit you're in a very tough place right now and making such a decision isn't going to be easy but I pray God gives you the wisdom to come out better for it in the end.

Best of luck and God's grace!

Frankyboy1:
You, the Alfa, bisi, your fiancée, your pocket, are all mad! Must your destiny be connected to women? You came into this world alone,and you alone is responsible for your fate and the outcome of your life

This op is stupid wallahi, imagine that rubbish statement, his pocket is linked to a girlfriend even if the girlfriend is a cheater

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Someone said, 'When God wants to bless you He sends someone into your life; when satan wants to destroy you he sends someone into your life.' The above is a universal truth but I will give you a proof from the Bible.

Laban said to Jacob, "I perceived by divination that God has blessed me because of you." Conversely, many business men 'ran down' and almost drowned simply because they were unfortunate to be in the same boat with Jonah.

Sex is as potent as a blood covenant as body fluids are involved. Most people have contacted sudden death, misfortune, sicknesss, delay, poverty etc from the people they slept with which do not manifest immediately.

OP I'm not telling you to believe the words of any prophet but you know from experience that that your promiscuous fiancee is a reservoir of bad luck.

Marry her, let money dry up and she will frustrate your life and may even cheat on your bed.

I strongly suggest you disconnect from her and go and fast and pray to destroy everything that has been transferred into your life.

As for Bisi, pray about her too; money is just a very small part of the ingredients of marital happiness.

Don't bow to family pressure because they will flock to enjoy if your home is joyful and leave you to suffer alone if it's otherwise.