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Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction - Romance (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction (41647 Views)

Do I Go Ahead With My Plans for Her? / My Fiancee Betrayed Me: Should I Go Ahead With The Marriage Plans? / Advice Needed.. Should I Quit Or Remain In This Kind Of Relationship (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Badgers14: 1:44pm On Aug 02
grin
Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by cana882(m): 1:45pm On Aug 02
Since you’ve refused to mention any good attribute that your fiancée possess, we’ll advise you on exactly what you want to hear from us: dump her.

Goat

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Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Dreyton36: 1:48pm On Aug 02
Na only you they seek advice and na only you still they give us life quotes
You sabi pass us sir, enjoy yourself

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Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Mandela27(m): 1:48pm On Aug 02
MARRY AT UR OWN RISK!

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Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Julius209: 1:50pm On Aug 02
Lisabi01:
Thanks for the above. I said in the post that she said some hurtful words like she can't live with me in penury. I never considered this. I'm still struggling, and planning to leave this country soon. But my sponsor, ie my parent said my wife should be pregnant before I travel. That's why I'm rushing things before I met Bisi. I'm really confused ma'am
op! Use your head here you know western country is different from Nigeria if you Marry that your said fiancée and she start misbehaving after marriage there is nothing you can do in western country oo

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Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by foxton: 1:52pm On Aug 02
All this superstitious beliv about some gals connecting one to his successes in life should stop already...

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Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Lamasta(m): 1:53pm On Aug 02
Some people like this op don't seek the face of God before seeking a life partner that is why they get confused along the way.....
OP go to God on your knees and seek direction and counsel this is lifetime decision you want to make dude if you get it wrong here you might never recover from it....Shalom

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Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Femeto: 1:53pm On Aug 02
Lisabi01:
Good morning family. I need your advice. This post might be long. Kindly ignore my jargons.

I and my fiancée have been dating for years now (childhood love). 4 years ago, we broke up for like a year due to her infidelity. During that time, I was with different girls who are worse, except a girl (Bisi) who was a friend then, and was in a relationship as at then (I'll come back to this).

Back to 4 years ago, after we (i and my fiancée)broke up, things starts falling in its place, and I started living large. It all ended after we got back together, and I was back to square one. I thought it was because I was still in school, but it continued after school.

I met another girl last year, we were just friends, no strings attached. This girl told me that I have a problem, and that I'm not bothered about it. My response was that we all have different problem and that this was my trying times. She responded saying "is this how your life was few years ago?" She asked me to go out to a pastor and make my own findings. I've never seen this girl prior to this, we just talk on phone.

As per her advice, I went out to seek for a divine solution (I never believed in seeking spiritual solution from a pastor, Alfa or a traditional worshiper, but I did this time around). I was told that when things was good for me, I had a girl that I dated throughout that time, and that I should try and connect her again. I thought about it, and they were actually right. It was when I stopped calling this girl that things went south for me. I told them I don't have any connection with her again and that i can't connect her. I was later told to be observant, and that I'll meet another girl, and that thing will change for me.

Back to my friend, Bisi..... She was in an open relationship. I envied their relationship then, and I was crushing on her secretly ( I and my fiancée wasn't together then). I met Bisi recently and she told me she broke up with her boyfriend. We became friends again, and we started getting closer. She doesn't live in my town, and we don't see at all because I don't have the time. But I noticed she's all I want in a woman, and since I met her, my pocket never runs dry. I don't have that intention of dating her at first until I noticed my pocket.

Now that I'm engaged, my introduction is coming up soon, and my extended family members and my fiancée's are all aware of the date. I should have done the introduction months ago before this pandemic, but my fiancée said some hurtful and hateful words to me which I still remember and I'm still keeping it to myself. She also have some attitudes I've been correcting but never takes to correction.

I know you'll say when I noticed all the above, why can't i bail out? There's a saying : the devil you've known for long is better than an angel you just met. She's that devil I've known for long and she's been known and has the support of family and friends.
You'll also ask: will they live together with us? My answer is so dumb cos I thought I can't find anybody better than her, even though my pocket runs dry. And one of the pastors said things will get better with her.

The dilemma I'm in now is should I put the introduction on hold, or I should go ahead with it for further observation on Bisi, or I should just carry my cross and work things out with my fiancée.... A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage, so they say.

Insults are welcomed, just for me to be a better me.

NB: I'm not in a relationship with Bisi (not her real name)
Your cup of tea. Na you go carry your load yourself we no be Ala ba ru.
Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by kolade560: 1:54pm On Aug 02
Guy, no woman is perfect oooo
cling to the one that the head open way for u, a lot of girls DAT will milk u dry and nothing to show for it.
forget insult pls, even our mothers insult our dad sometimes, its unavoidable .
good luck.

1 Like

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Joshmanuel10: 1:54pm On Aug 02
Always meet a professional for an advice not a pastor cry
Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by J111333(m): 1:54pm On Aug 02
From your story, your marriage may have cracks later so think deep about it.
If you can't be happy in it, break up now than divorce later when the stakes will be too high.

As for women bringing bad luck or good luck, I don't believe in such nonsense.
Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by ashatoda: 1:57pm On Aug 02
bros can you listen to yourself speaking? a lady cheated on you when you are in this Naija you now accepted her back only to be planning to leave her here in Naija to travel abroad. guy abeg reason the matter now. I'm not campaigning for Bisi but you need to call on God because this is the hallmark of confusion which could derail your future and lead to regret. so please pray fervently over it but my advice is that ditch that your so called fiancee if she can cheat on you when you are here expect worse when you are not there. moreso she told you she can't live with you in penury abeg I am not saying you will be poor but if things hard for you how certain are you that she will be there for you guy reason your case wella before plunging into a ditch. if you breakup with her family members will rise to fight you but you need to speak to the reasoning of your parents who will be sponsoring you when they are with you then you are covered highlight your fears and worries about this lady and tell them if they will want you to die untimely

6 Likes

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Samsimple(m): 1:58pm On Aug 02
I'll design a professional logo and flyer for your business at an affordable price

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Nicepoker(m): 1:58pm On Aug 02
Destiny connected to ladies. Guy you are confused.
Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by CaveAdullam: 1:58pm On Aug 02
Go take a chill bath in the river. And after that, come back and start realigning your ways.

You are confusing yourself, me and the audience.
Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by uromii: 1:59pm On Aug 02
every man have a woman divinely made for him but all men can fathom the revelation to locate her. if a man meets a lady and favours and lucks always wind to him .. then she is divine .

2 Likes

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Austino50: 2:01pm On Aug 02
Marry the girl at your own risk and suffering, there are many other girls out there, you want to embark on a journey that you will regret in the rest of life abi? Marriage is more of spiritual so be wise oo and let the spirit of God lead you
Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Abfinest007(m): 2:03pm On Aug 02
wait
Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by elpochas: 2:05pm On Aug 02
I had a girl then in 2017 that really brought me goodluck,even till the week i broke with her i remember still paying her rent for her.You can ask me why i broke up with her.you see my guy this life is deep,forget the goodluck of a thing and go for the one you love best and have known for a long time.I belive in the saying that says you make your own luck by yourselve.choose wisely mr man.
Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Ravenbeast1(m): 2:06pm On Aug 02
My brother you went for findings and you were told that a lot in your life has to do with the lady you are connected with.

With your fiancee, you are not living well, but with Bisi you notice good things just like you was told and you still want to go into that bondage?

Don't deceive or try to console your self with that quote of Angel and devil.
Be reasonable brother.

Who says because you've known her the longest, she's your wife?
Why not go back and seek God's face for direction?
I want to call you names, but I'll refrain from that.
No carry your sef enter wetin u no fit come out from sha.

Use ur head
Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by chloride6: 2:06pm On Aug 02
Seems you are still a student or just graduated, what exactly do you define as having good finances and what do you define as having bad finances?

What do you do for a living? Or how do you make money? Cos you may not have a problem at all.

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Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by deltateam: 2:06pm On Aug 02
Lisabi01:
Thanks for the above. I said in the post that she said some hurtful words like she can't live with me in penury. I never considered this. I'm still struggling, and planning to leave this country soon. But my sponsor, ie my parent said my wife should be pregnant before I travel. That's why I'm rushing things before I met Bisi. I'm really confused ma'am

You know that fiancee is not a wife material cos she lacks understanding and patience.

How do you intende to cope with her attitude in marriage? She will just abandon you at the slightest opportunity.
Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Ravenbeast1(m): 2:07pm On Aug 02
And again, love is not enough bro
Let's be honest.

Go for what is yours
Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Originalsly: 2:07pm On Aug 02
Bro.... why would you marry someone you are not happy with? Whatever it is she is not changing.... expect that to become firmly rooted after marriage. For yourself..... you are still burning inside with whatever hurtful she said to you since 1901.... that be like burning coals.... it will flare up from time to time... never go out. How can that be good in a marriage? No one is perfect..... but you have to seriously consider who is closest to perfect for you. Is that your fiancee with you now because money is flowing?...how is she when money isn't?
I suggest you call off the wedding.... you need to reconsider. On Bisi.... how does she feel about you? Do you really love her as a person?... or as your writing is implying... you love her because of cash flow luck? Whichever... you need to let her know that you want to he her man.
Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Vade1: 2:08pm On Aug 02
Oya the floor if open, let advice start rolling in and we that dont know anything about relationship, we will just stand one side with our cold black stout and be reading Comments. wink
Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by Chris2863(m): 2:10pm On Aug 02
Mumu write up
Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by SmartPolician: 2:11pm On Aug 02
Lisabi01

I am deeply concerned that you tied your progress in life to women - even when you are still single

Well, I will never buy into that - at least not when I am still single

Never
Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by SmartPolician: 2:14pm On Aug 02
Lamasta:
Some people like this op don't seek the face of God before seeking a life partner that is why they get confused along the way.....
OP go to God on your knees and seek direction and counsel this is lifetime decision you want to make dude if you get it wrong here you might never recover from it....Shalom

How do you know that God approved or disapproved of your would-be wife?

1 Like

Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by charleoj(m): 2:15pm On Aug 02
@lisabi01. I want to tell you this that marriage is a life time thing. I will want to you to sincerely ask yourself this " Can you actually carry the cross of an abusive marriage? Do you want to be unhappy in your marriage? If NO, then give the "bisi" a chance. Do you know that there is 80% chance that your Fiancee will not change? Can you continue to put up with her nonsense? Do you want to be a married broke man? You have seen it all so dont make the same mistake over and over again. Afterall, a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. My advice to you is to start getting serious with the "bisi". May God bless you
Re: Advice Needed: Should I Go Ahead With The Introduction by kikero: 2:16pm On Aug 02
Lisabi01:

I know you'll say when I noticed all the above, why can't i bail out? There's a saying : the devil you've known for long is better than an angel you just met. She's that devil I've known for long and she's been known and has the support of family and friends.
You'll also ask: will they live together with us? My answer is so dumb cos I thought I can't find anybody better than her, even though my pocket runs dry. And one of the pastors said things will get better with her.



You have made up your mind. So, go ahead and marry her, since she has 'everyone's support' and since 'you want to marry beautiful devil that you know well.'.

Just don't come and open thread here 5 years later with the topic 'If I had known'!

Let me come and be going.

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