jornwhite:




Ofcus there are no guarantees to anything, life is full of questions, i believe in past questions you believe in "key point" guess our results... i'm just looking @ things from history point of view, building together outshines ready made anyday anytime. think of it as a fact, not compelling anyone o !

ImaIma1:


It is not every lady who marries up marries for the sake of gold digging.

It still happens constantly that wealthy men marry not well to do ladies. In fact one I know denied the wife from going to law school and married her straight up without an income.

Not every man has your mindset, upbringing and mentality. People do things for reasons best known to them while outsiders are there debating about whether it is for money or not, right or wrong, etc.

People that don't have money (some, not all); who have never had the taste of being wealthy are the ones who see money as a god and as something they will use to torment others.

Mcslize:


If not every lady marry for money, then that boiled down to what Op said. You said not every lady go into marriage for money, but why must it be a wealthy man they must marry?

That simply tells it all that it is still for the money they are looking for wealthy men to tie down if not they will simply start life with a any well to do guy with potentials from the scracth.

Don't say it is not for the money. If it is not for the money why are many still looking for wealthy men which possibility of getting one is almost impossible.

You think wealthy men are fools right? No wealthy man is a fool. They are very selective. They are high valued men. That's why as lady, you have to improve yourself for any potential wealthy man to even have a fling with you.

Wealthy men don't need liabilities as wives. They need supporters who will help them make more money. But what do we have today? Ladies that are materialistic and unresourceful.

For any wealthy man to take you as a wive, he must see that you can add value to his life, support him and help him create more wealth.

He is a high valued man and all high value men look for high valued ladies to wife.

Don't let anyone deceive you that any wealthy man will just come your way and wife you without having any value to add to his life.

ImaIma1:


Oh ok, let me get this straight. So ladies must only fall in love with not-rich guys.

If they fall in love with a rich guy, it is because of money. But if she falls in love with a poor guy, it is ok since he doesn't have money.

Ok. That's your opinion. You can advise ladies around you only to allow themselves fall for guys without money.

Case closed

ImaIma1:


I still disagree.

So if she falls in love with a guy that is made and he's also in love with her, she should refuse the love because he is made and go for a man that is just starting up.

Don't get me wrong o. I am a realist. I like to look at things from all perspectives. I didn't marry a made man. I picked between one that I was even earning more than over the one that had successful business because of my personal conviction.

And today, he earns more than me and we are fine. But, I have close friends who married the ones that were made and they are doing fine. I didn't see anything wrong in marrying up. It is not everyone that will start small...

Mcslize:


My point is clear. We have more ladies who are materialistic in our days than those who are simply looking for a man to share their love with.

I am not saying ladies should not fall in love with already made men. But the point is even if they fall in love, the man is still the one to make the choice either to wife her or just keep her as a mere fling. The man still remain the one with more power to decide whether to wife such a lady who falls in love with him or not.

The lady has no say to decide the fate of such relationship if the guy sees nothing valuable to get from her. That is why I said, ladies should improve themselves so that if eventually they meet a made young man and fall in love, the young man will see that value in her that will make him make up his mind to wife her. That's because already made men are very selective when it comes to choosing a wife, and if that value is not there, he will just lead such a girl on and on without marrying her.

A lady should add a value to a man's life and see how fast he will wife her.

Kranediggy:
That's it, ur own scenerio is a perfect e.g of what the thread is all about. U made the choice & it played out well for u. Am not against a woman being compatible with a made man or falling in love with him, some peeps are lucky but not every1 will be that lucky. The thread will help stop certain mistakes.

ImaIma1:


What of the scenario of my very close friend. She wasn't well to do but she married someone that had done well for himself. In fact I hooked them up because they were both my friends. He was my childhood friend. I even gave the toast at their wedding( the second wedding I did that cos I hooked up).

And they are doing well. That's why when I see all this talk about it has to be someone you start small with, I don't agree because I have seen the real life people I know.

ImaIma1:
I don't see anything special in the story about the 24 year old who has a wife that stood by him. It's stuff that happens everyday. Many wealthy men you see started from small with their wives; Fela Durotoye, Innocent Idibia, etc.

Nothing exceptional at all about the soldier and his wife.

ImaIma1:


I look at things from different perspectives even away from mine.
A guys makes a good investment and gets good rewards and becomes a millionaire or was probably left an inheritance. He is single and wants to get married. He meets a girl who isn't well to do but he loves her. Should she refuse to marry him and instead look for a guy that is poor.

I really don't understand why some men on this forum believe a woman is better off starting from small with a man. Is it because majority of the ones with these views don't have much and are trying to campaign for themselves? Humans could be selfish so I would understand that.

But in my opinion, I won't fault either. None of them is at a loss as long as the foundation of their marriage is solid.

Kranediggy:
Don't be confused. I didn't say must, matter of fact, I said if you want to wait; its ok, but develop yourself while waiting, that's what I said pls. Not everyone will be as lucky as your friend.

jornwhite:




LOLzz , their is actually no gurl without a broke guy in her life, we broke ass guyz are constant,every poor gurl has a poor bf she as to reject, eject, disappoint & dispose in order to be with the rich guy, hence the reaction you see from my people.
Nevertheless, i concur with your postulation... on a deep thot there is always a gurl for every man irrespective of status. we get hope tew

ImaIma1:


you are funny.

There are all kinds of guys around a girl both rich and poor. The choice of a husband is a different ball game.
j
Let me give you an instance. My family house in an area where you would call a ghetto though under a "not ghetto LGA". We had these tenants who just had a canteen around; humble background kinda thing. These people could owe rent, and were even caught tapping our light at a point (just trying to give you a background). One of the sons was even living in the same flat with his wife and children. That's how bad it was.

They had 2 girls. One married an average guy. He had a car, quite comfortable while the younger sister married a much richer guy from a rich home even if she really wasn't doing much. The guy was always in the compound every night to see this girl.( rich guys chase poor girls and same goes for rich girls to poor guys)

I am not just talking based on NL debate. It seems I am talking to one of the young chaps yet to experience life who believe rich guys can't chase broke girls.

This life is not balanced. The sooner you accept it and live your life to the fullest, the better for you.

jornwhite:
1



When we were younger we frown @every one that called us young chap now ehn i can only wish, egbon is d lastest insult. lolz
There are two categories of rich people, 1. rich by background 2. da grass to grace
80% of the rich by background don't mingle or settle for the poor cos its two worlds apart .. imagine a guy like kiddwaya , adewale adeleke how these boyz wan walka jam poor gurls ... where dey hangout a broke gurl can never cum close except she as a platform, checkout there marriages, class is a must,there family enforce it.
You see the rich by hustle guyz are the ones that makes up the integral part of your assertion ... they grew up in da same world as the poor & middle class gurls, the major difference is they made it, however preys in your zone are definitely gonna be ur diet, if you know the true strength of money you would never say rich guyz chase poor gurlz rather gurls do the chasing buh in a discreet way called positioning. lets not even go into that o ! table fit break

ImaIma1:


There are classes to rich people. We are not only talking about the Dangote, Waya, Adenugas.

I am mostly talking about the everyday people not the billionaires. Compare a guy earning 50k, 75k 100k with a guy earning 500k, the 1m 2m monthly. These ones earning more can afford good cars, a good apartment in a choice area, vacations abroad, etc.

The day my friend gave me his tithe (cheque) to help him drop in church, I was like if he's paying this as tithe, how much is the salary. He's not a billionaire but he can afford luxuries for his family and even travel abroad with his children's nanny.

There are other people with money, people that have done well for themselves, not necessarily the Okoyas, Indimis or Otedolas but they are not poor.

jornwhite:






Seems someone got the message, we both agreed on something "rich get class".
your friend with d huge tithe, if am to make a guess, he is rich by hustle that is why you are surprised @ d amount he paid, another guess he is married to a poor or middle class lady. all these are within the boundaries of "modus operandi".
if your friend is d funky type am sure gurls around him will be the ones scrambling over him

ImaIma1:


I still disagree.

So if she falls in love with a guy that is made and he's also in love with her, she should refuse the love because he is made and go for a man that is just starting up.

Don't get me wrong o. I am a realist. I like to look at things from all perspectives. I didn't marry a made man. I picked between one that I was even earning more than over the one that had successful business because of my personal conviction.

And today, he earns more than me and we are fine. But, I have close friends who married the ones that were made and they are doing fine. I didn't see anything wrong in marrying up. It is not everyone that will start small.

Money doesn't actually make the marriage, it is the two people involved that do.

Newmanluckyman:
...your last paragraph is a lie hatched from the pit of hell that female specie /gender used to deceive or hoodwink men into marriage.

It's when the marriage is over that the man will realized that from the woman's perspective, money is actually what makes the marriage.

Mcslize:


Read the write up and understand it very well. The op is simply saying, ladies should not always have that mindset of "it is a wealthy, already made man" they must marry as most ladies have already conditioned their minds.

He is simply saying, if our entitlement kind of ladies of our days see a hustling guy who is being able to fed for himself and has a hustling spirit, they should wait no further to start a life with such a man.

All already made men are wise now because no already made man or wealthy man will just accept a girl and marry her straight up cuz many had be gold dig by ladies.

And any lady that is coming closer to them displaying all form of niceness, they will sense it from afar as a gold digger. They will believe that it is because of their money they are flocking around him. He will never marry any of such girls that flock around him.

That's why our ladies should learn how to start life from scratch with a man not always looking for already made men who have wise up.