ogbuefi677:

Which parent ever invades the privacy of their married children except they're living in a 1 room and parlor apartment?My dad will rather call you on d phone to come upstairs than knock on your door.Mum rarely comes towards my apartment.
OP mentioned the guy is financially ok,so apparently, we're dealing with either an only child or probably all other of his siblings are living far away and he's the only close to the mum.
He even mentioned the guy is building his own house,yet d wizard of a girl is so sure she is going to be having problems with the MIL.
I just pity the guy that marries this type of girl.

Why is it that ladies of this generation do not like anything that will bring them in close contact with their mother inlaw?

ImaIma1:


Popping out babies? She slept with herself right?
Pay bride price? Did she ask herself to marry herself?
Fake human hair? Is it an essential item for survival or he has a gun to his neck to buy it?
Hospital bills? Even my husband and I use each other's HMO.

Couples figure things out and try to make life better for the other.

Look, when the time comes for you to get married, you will understand marriage and figure it out. But if that time never comes, that means you shouldn't bother getting married.

i dont need to be married to know marrage as it is now is unfavourable and parasitic to men.just like i dont need to be in aso rock to know buhari is a monumental failure.you talk about not being forced with a gun bla bla bla,but you forget all the emotional blackmail and manipulations you women pull on men(simps though)

dominique:


If the man can't afford to pay rent of ordinary self contain apartment to the point that he has to stay with his mum with his wife, then he has no business marrying. You people are quick to insult a woman that can't cook or clean but see nothing wrong with a man that can afford a small roof over his head. So because the wife doesn't want to stay with in-laws, she should be the one to pay rent alongside cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and taking care of the kids? You men and double standards are inseparable

Read the next few posts of the OP on this topic, he mentioned the guy is financially ok, so we're prolly dealing with an only child or an extremely lonely woman living alone in a big house and the guy in question might be d only of her children close by.
I know what loneliness can do to parents,my dad has been begging me for years to send my boys to live with them tempting me with talk like "you know they'll be better catered for than you can do,you know they'll never lack anything,your wife will have all d time to read for her masters", me I jus de smile within . cos they live alone in my state capital and none of us (my siblings and I) lives in the state.
My biggest grouse is the girl is threatening to call off the wedding which to me sounds combative and makes me doubt if she even loves d guy at all.
Well,I guess different folks,different strokes.

So much sense in a piece!

hosemujica:
It depends on a lot of things. Man and woman should leave their parents house to live together as husband and wife. Anything other than that for a start is a bad foundation.

The way I'm seeing it, the guy is a mummy's boy, as such won't want to leave his mums side, otherwise the best thing to do is to first of all use the funds for the wedding to get himself accommodation before the wedding proper.

She should try and convince him that nothing comes out of a married guy living in his mother's house with his wife, if the mother comes to visit him every once in a while that's manageable but outrightly sharing the same roof is a recipe for disaster. Meanwhile suspension of the wedding while they talk things over is better than outrightly cancelling it.

emperorshaokahn:
i dont need to be married to know marrage as it is now is unfavourable and parasitic to men.just like i dont need to be in aso rock to know buhari is a monumental failure.you talk about not being forced with a gun bla bla bla,but you forget all the emotional blackmail and manipulations you women pull on men(simps though)

Yes. You need to be married to understand a lot. Sorry, it's not like an outsider knowing what is going on in Aso rock.

People can show you what they want you to see or tell you what they want to tell you.

Have a good night.

mrksquare:



Why is it that ladies of this generation do not like anything that will bring them in close contact with their mother inlaw?

Because of their wickedness cos he who constantly murders with knives doesn't ever allow ppl to walk behind him with a knife.
Watch out P square them etc,all very harmonious until wives came into the picture.
Same thing my wife and my younger brother's wife wanted to try with us until they found out both of us are baa kwomi ppl wey no send and both wives got tired and stopped their little petty games.
Person wey I don spend 30+ years with and remember quarreling with only once,you go from ya mama house wan put us asunder for nonsense complains you should easily overlook or things that border on perception alone.

She is doing the right thing for her. I am sure your Sister has met his mother and has evaluated the situation. For some rare unique mother's it will be a blessing for others living like that with them will be hell on earth. There is no need setting up a situation that will be traumatic and toxic in the future. She may even end up quarrelling or insulting the older woman. If that happens her marriage will be over. The husband may also not find it easy. Many of such situations do not end up well. If she can't deal, she make the best decision for her. This may also be a sign that this is not the husband for her.
She should pray very well too before taking a final step.

ImaIma1:


Yes. You need to be married to understand a lot. Sorry, it's not like an outsider knowing what is going on in Aso rock.

People can show you what they want you to see or tell you what they want to tell you.

Have a good night.

and you too maam,its been a very nice conversation with you,although i'm still quite unconvinced about this marrage thing.

A bit strange to reduce all women to their genital organ.

I know a lot of people, women included, do that but a higher thinking man like you should do better na.

Timbers:
Hahaha any day u hear I'm getting married just know I've either being hypnotized or it's my lookalike

Marriage doesn't favor men it's just a lifeline for old hags who spent their time banging their youth away

And why marry one vagina person when a lot of vagina people are out there

And by the way to hell Vagina people

You mean half a million a year or month because it takes quite a bit to earn that in civil service.

Except it's a university and you're more than a senior lecturer so please explain.

ogbuefi677:

lolz.
I'm one of the few Nigerians who earn a miserable close to half a million as salary from fed govt,yet mum earns more than me ,pops na d original chairman
Where they wan start to get time to look my wife?house is big,them wey dey upstairs,na if you go up to meet them or jam them on their way out una yo greet
Na small small vegetables and fish them de chop nowadays so choice of food etc no go ever bring quarrel.
Each of them get 1 spare car,if my family travel home b4 me during xmass,I send one car home for them b4 they arrive as I have another I use,where quarrel wan start from my sister?
All my siblings are all living away from my state so my parents are always more than happy to see any member of the nuclear family.
My sister,pray to God and hustle ooo.
Na poverty and extreme lack be d root of all quarrel and this una negative mindset.

cooooooks:
You mean half a million a year or month because it takes quite a bit to earn that in civil service.

Except it's a university and you're more than a senior lecturer so please explain.

Month.

Lol. Nna i know how you feel. By the time they convert it to dollars, they be looking like they're poor.

Na you abi your mum wey dey earn the half mil. if you never reach 35 I dey wonder how you go don already climb to that level.

I know how much Directors earn. :/ and no Director I know is under 45. -_-

ogbuefi677:

Month.
Federal Min of Health.
Mum,lecturing,will retire soon sef

But d money no reach to chop isi ewu 'porously' shaa

You are the sister.

Period.

cooooooks:
Lol. Nna i know how you feel. By the time they convert it to dollars, they be looking like they're poor.

Na you abi your mum wey dey earn the half mil. if you never reach 35 I dey wonder how you go don already climb to that level.

I know how much Directors earn. :/ and no Director I know is under 45. -_-

doctors join the service from an equivalent of level 13

Pickieox:
Lol, I love how you capture reply, an innuendo if I'm right...

Innuendo and a touch of blunt sarcasm. Thanks.

I have at least 1 close friend (who is always complaining lol) who is a federal doctor.

It's like you'll have to define 'close' because differences of 200,000 and 50,000 are both 'close'.

And thank you for your service as a Nigerian doctor still in Nigeria!

ogbuefi677:
doctors join the service from an equivalent of level 13 with lots of heavy allowances like call duty,teaching allowance,etc which gives em an edge far above their counterparts in mainstream civil service.I've gone for one promotion and due for another next year.
And I said 'close to half a milli

OluwaLina1:

He said he don't want his mum to feel lonely and his mum won't be free if she comes to stay in his appartment

In that case, let him go and marry his mother! The Holy Word of God said that "therefore shall a man leave his family and cleave to his wife and they shall become one."

If the man is not willing to leave his family and cleave to his wife, then he should stay single or go and marry his mother. Shikena!

Powerfly:

Innuendo and a touch of blunt sarcasm. Thanks.

Eggzactly. Anointing oil dey your and I can see you doing well...

Chii59:

So? What difference does it make?

You see, when woman build a house, they tend to exert much power and influence over you in the house than when it's built by ur father.

OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed

Advice needed
Don't mind my typo errors.

My sister cancel her wedding plans all because her husband to~be insists they are going to be living with his mum after the wedding before they will build their own house.

Now,my sister said she won't go on with the wedding plans if he didn't rent an appartment, even if it's face-me-i-slap-you room,she will be okay with it,she won't even mind if the mother come to spend days with them.

Is my sister doing the right thing?

She made the right choice for herself. She alone understands the situation she is in and I am sure she thought well and hard before concluding.

cooooooks:
I have at least 1 close friend (who is always complaining lol) who is a federal doctor.

It's like you'll have to define 'close' because differences of 200,000 and 50,000 are both 'close'.

And thank you for your service as a Nigerian doctor still in Nigeria!

cooooooks:
Lol. Nna i know how you feel. By the time they convert it to dollars, they be looking like they're poor.

Na you abi your mum wey dey earn the half mil. if you never reach 35 I dey wonder how you go don already climb to that level.

I know how much Directors earn. :/ and no Director I know is under 45. -_-

This one made me cackle like an old hen.

OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed

Advice needed
Don't mind my typo errors.

My sister cancel her wedding plans all because her husband to~be insists they are going to be living with his mum after the wedding before they will build their own house.

Now,my sister said she won't go on with the wedding plans if he didn't rent an appartment, even if it's face-me-i-slap-you room,she will be okay with it,she won't even mind if the mother come to spend days with them.

Is my sister doing the right thing?

Your sister is smart! She knows what she wants. Livng with your mother-in-law is not advisable. Let her be!

Omo. The comments I read in front page ehn. Na wah

mrksquare:



Why is it that ladies of this generation do not like anything that will bring them in close contact with their mother inlaw?

Only speaking to my MIL this morning, I have been crying since because of the things she said. She's causing this much wahala while she thousands of miles away, now imagine living with her.

ImaIma1:


Only speaking to my MIL this morning, I have been crying since because of the things she said. She's causing this much wahala while she thousands of miles away, now imagine living with her.

Not all mother in-laws are overbearing. I am not a mummy's boy neither I am a Daddy's boy. Always being independent minded. Beside, my mum is too busy with her job to start meddling into my family. Beside, not like I will live in my father's house forever. Money I will use in renting house for three years can be used to buy land and start developing it.

ImaIma1:


Only speaking to my MIL this morning, I have been crying since because of the things she said. She's causing this much wahala while she thousands of miles away, now imagine living with her.

Hmmmmmm.

mrksquare:



Not all mother in-laws are overbearing. I am not a mummy's boy neither I am a Daddy's boy. Always being independent minded. Beside, my mum is too busy with her job to start meddling into my family. Beside, not like I will live in my father's house forever. Money I will use in renting house for three years can be used to buy land and start developing it.

My husband is not a mummy's boy either. She just wanted to take out the disagreement she had with him on me.

I am not saying all MILs are overbearing. But it is advisable to live as husband and wife away from them. It makes the relationship better and gives more peace of mind. A mother will always talk not caring whose feelings are hurt. So it's better to stay away to avoid experiencing it constantly.

ImaIma1:


My husband is not a mummy's boy either. She just wanted to take out the disagreement she had with him on me.

I am not saying all MILs are overbearing. But it is advisable to live as husband and wife away from them. It makes the relationship better and gives more peace of mind. A mother will always talk not caring whose feelings are hurt. So it's better to stay away to avoid experiencing it constantly.

Renting house outside will put a strain on my resources. My fiancee isn't working. Still saving for marriage. Beside, I am doing some pockets of professional courses and joining it with paying rent will put a hole to my resources. I understand your point. And to be truthful I also do not like the idea of staying in a family house either.

OP. what's the current update about the issue?

MikaelDare:
OP. what's the current update about the issue?

Maybe I should create a new thread for the update

OluwaLina1:
Maybe I should create a new thread for the update

Alright then.