truthsayer009:


Believe people at your own peril. When something defies common sense logic, you should know they are lying. It's like someone saying my mother owns a big restaurant but I have not eaten in 3 days.

How are you financially okay & you cannot rent a place? He is not only broke but poor.

My own is, the woman should understand what marriage is all about. if she can't be and endure with him and workout everything, why did she accept the marriage in the first place.. She's just created trouble for herself by herself

georgeiyke009:
The truth is that only an Otedola pikin has the means to make this kind of arrangement work.

Any other normal guy will just have the woman suffer for nothing.

If she was Otedola's daughter nko? The guy should examine himself to find out why he feels its okay to subject a woman to such.

The reason why it will work in Otedola's case is because the home will be a run home and she will really not be expected to cater to anything or anyone. That makes it bearable.

Minus that, even my own daughter must be stupid to agree to that kind of arrangement. In ibo culture also, your inlaws will never visit you officially until you move. Cuz its not your house.

In ibo culture, once a young man is old enough ,he goes to build his own hut. If you read "Things fall apart" you'll understand .
He builds his hut even before he looks for a wife. This is not even Christianity but common sense.
They're saying what if na Otedola pikin.
Otedola can build many mansions in his compound or one big mansion with so many rooms, you may not even see the other occupants in weeks .
Not a two or three bedroom flat I'm sure op's sister would be MIL has. No privacy .

MaziIgwe007:


My own is, the woman should understand what marriage is all about. if she can't be and endure with him and workout everything, why did she accept the marriage in the first place.. She's just created trouble for herself by herself

And if the man understands ,will heaven fall?

georgeiyke009:
Financially ok is a term for a regular working class joe. He will not be able to afford maids, cooks and cleaners at the same time.

I run a full house and make close to a Milla and I cannot afford those.

So its the same issue. You need to be rich to afford those not just financially ok.

lemme ask you this, why can't or shouldn't the 3 of them live together in a case of necessity as this??

where's the love??

so you expect me to leave my mother out because of the rubbish in-between ur legs??

na thunder go fire that person wey fit try am for my side

MaziIgwe007:


lemme ask you this, why can't or shouldn't the 3 of them live together in a case of necessity as this??

where's the love??

so you expect me to leave my mother out because of the rubbish in-between ur legs??

na thunder go fire that person wey fit try am for my side

A boy will always talk like a boy.
Does your mother not have a vagina ?
It will be foo.lish of you and boys like you to think you can shame women and your mother will be spared.
You came from a vagina and to a vagina you shall return.

Chii59:

A boy will always talk like a boy.
Does your mother not have a vagina ?
It will be foo.lish of you and boys like you to think you can shame women and your mother will be spared.
You came from a vagina and to a vagina you shall return.

And my mum now caused division between my father and his family right??

I think I now understand the slum you came out from which you call home/family

MaziIgwe007:


My own is, the woman should understand what marriage is all about. if she can't be and endure with him and workout everything, why did she accept the marriage in the first place.. She's just created trouble for herself by herself

Are we not both saying the same thing? They are not married yet. Is it not now that the marriage hasn't commenced that you should take a stand?

Abi is it after 18 years of marriage inside parents house that you would now speak up.

MaziIgwe007:


And my mum now caused division between my father and his family right??

I think I now understand the slum you came out from which you call home/family

Yawns...run home to mama, boy. You're too small for me.

And you want her to put up with this because of the rubbish between your legs or is there anything you are offering?

Don't worry. Be with your mother but leave the girl alone.

Where is the love when you want to subject your girl to a life of perpetual discomfort from the word go?

Its that simple. You will not be the one to cook and clean for the house. What happens when she does not feel like doing anything? Your mother's friends and siblings will be coming over per second. Will she be expected to cater for them too even if she wants to just chill?

The devil is in the details. There are days I will never want to see anyone and I simply do not entertain cuz i need it to disstress. Both you and your would be wife will not have that luxury.

However, if both of you are death poor, then you both have no options and will put up with whatever. But it also begs the question why bother marrying at all. The guy can simply wait and build the house before marrying. Afterall , whats the difference? Marriage no dey run. It will not work for any upwardly mobile couple.

MaziIgwe007:


lemme ask you this, why can't or shouldn't the 3 of them live together in a case of necessity as this??

where's the love??

so you expect me to leave my mother out because of the rubbish in-between ur legs??

na thunder go fire that person wey fit try am for my side

op stop lieing,that so called sister is you.you better weigh your options now o because when you get to the ripe old age of 31 your sexual value reduces,na your type day disturb us for prayer city and shiloh,you better marry this man now o so you dont become a washed up babymama later.my 2cents though.btw dont listen to all those online jezebels,most of them are frustrated sex starved hoes in their late 40s.

..........

loneprof:


My dear, I totally understand your perspective and I am only speaking against the extremes. I for one, do not think any guy should think of settling down in his parents house (unless you're Indian which is their culture).

So trust me, we agree on the privacy issue. But if you check the issue well, it looks awkward to say they're just disagreeing on where to settle after making marriage plans. If the lady in question isn't the one putting the man under pressure for marriage (which is commonplace with ladies), I see no reason why they shouldn't have agreed on a place. It seems to me like a last minute U-turn after weighting her options, which is why I think some ladies are just selfish.

Furthermore, I think a lot of ladies must understand that men, generally, have a soft spot for their mothers and should try to reduce the whole jealousy thing. There's a place for everyone in a man's heart and no man would abandon his wife just because of the mother. Ladies must stop competing with their mother in laws.

For her to cancel the marriage plans, it's obvious she is not the one pushing to get married and at any cost.

I understand men have soft spots for their mothers. My husband and his mum talk everyday and I see nothing wrong in it. But he knows where to draw the line in such a way that both me and his mum know we are important to him. But some men try to exhault their mothers over their wives, always reminding the wife that the mother brought him up as if she doesn't have a mother.

But in the true sense, who should sweat and bring up a child? The nanny or village head? Off course it's the parents.

Funny enough, women even seem to have that soft spot more for their mothers but they don't allow it affect other relationships or Lord it over their husbands. I have noticed that women visit their mums more.

They are the ones that will come and sit down and gist and help around. The man might just send money. Both have their ways of showing love. But why is it that most men always want to make that love for their mothers a problem in their marriage?

I believe a wise man will know how to balance both

Chii59:

Just the way thunder fired and roasted your mother's pussyy.

lol,all these sluts sef,bitch i pity the unfortunate simp that would end up marrying a farm tool like you.btw can you send me your nudes?.

ImaIma1:


For her to cancel the marriage plans, it's obvious she is not the one pushing to get married and at an cost.

I understand men have soft spots for their mothers. My husband and his mum talk everyday and I see nothing wrong in it. But he knows where to draw the line in such a way that both me and his mum know we are important to him. But some men try to exhault their mothers over their wives, always reminding the wife that the mother brought him up as if she doesn't have a mother.

But in the true sense, who should sweat and bring up a child? The nanny or village head? Off course it's the parents.

Funny enough, women even seem to have that soft spot more for their mothers but they don't allow it affect other relationships or Lord it over their husbands. I have noticed that women visit their mums more.

They are the ones that will come and sit down and gist and help around. The man might just send money. Both have their ways of showing love. But why is it that most men always want to make that love for their mothers a problem in their marriage?

I believe a widmse man will know how to balance both

You're a wise woman. To this day, my mother doesn't joke with caring for her parents ,even more than her brothers. Women care more in practice than just shouting online.

ImaIma1:


For her to cancel the marriage plans, it's obvious she is not the one pushing to get married and at an cost.

I understand men have soft spots for their mothers. My husband and his mum talk everyday and I see nothing wrong in it. But he knows where to draw the line in such a way that both me and his mum know we are important to him. But some men try to exhault their mothers over their wives, always reminding the wife that the mother brought him up as if she doesn't have a mother.

But in the true sense, who should sweat and bring up a child? The nanny or village head? Off course it's the parents.

Funny enough, women even seem to have that soft spot more for their mothers but they don't allow it affect other relationships or Lord it over their husbands. I have noticed that women visit their mums more.

They are the ones that will come and sit down and gist and help around. The man might just send money. Both have their ways of showing love. But why is it that most men always want to make that love for their mothers a problem in their marriage?

I believe a widmse man will know how to balance both

You are a wise woman and everything you wrote checks out perfectly.

I am also a person who draws the line and I don't think any mature man shouldn't know how to separate both. In your own case, you admit your husband is close to his mom, without you being bothered, some women wouldn't like that, they'll probably feel threatened by that.

So my sister, I appreciate your perspective on life. All the best ma'am!

Chii59:

Just like your expired sisters hopping from one pastor to prophet. Don't forget to remind them that there's no shiloh till 2021.

lol,i just gave you my sincere advice,someone needs to be honest with you girl,if you get to 32 without getting married your chances of marrying a rich guy reduces.

I can at least feed you and your generation from selling run down vehicles. No surprises there. Focus on the topic young urn.

Mgtowmonk:
coming from someone who sells run down vehicles for a living.....I ain't surprised.

Keep simping

Your sister has to have double thinking before she concludes on her decision.Better still she should hustle for the money.

........

I honestly stunned at the kind of responses I'm seeing from the males in this forum. Do y'all honestly think you're doing women the ultimate favour by marrying her, therefore she should subject herself to all manners of discomfort? The OP's sister is right to stand her ground and call off the wedding. Marrying into the husband's family house with the MIL would breed nothing but hatred and contempt in the long run! This is not to say that she hates his family or she'll chase them away. Sometimes people should be kept at a reasonable distance for love and respect to grow.

Men get over yourselves, not all ladies are desperate to subject themselves to discomfort in the name of marriage. The ones who do lack self esteem and often end up regretting their decision.

Read the book 'The white elephant', by Aisha Adams. It talks about the mistakes she made as a young bride, on of which was agreeing to move into her husband's family house. It ended up in a bitter divorce. Some aren't divorced but are living as strangers in their in law's place. They're mostly bitter and depressed. Trust me if they had the chance to reverse their decision, they would.

OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed

Advice needed
Don't mind my typo errors.

My sister cancel her wedding plans all because her husband to~be insists they are going to be living with his mum after the wedding before they will build their own house.

Now,my sister said she won't go on with the wedding plans if he didn't rent an appartment, even if it's face-me-i-slap-you room,she will be okay with it,she won't even mind if the mother come to spend days with them.

Is my sister doing the right thing?

she did the right jare. Women are naturally jealous.if she did not give the old woman wahala, the old woman will give her wahala. The man is senseless.

ogbuefi677:

You people never ever have d duty to provide for anything,it must be the man.
Even as students,your fellow students who are unfortunate to be male must pay everytime,una own na just to de collect and be provided for.

What you typed here doesn't make sense to me. I don't even understand how it relates the topic or my comment.

Powerfly:
I dunno oo.
let's just wait for the Alpha~male elders to arrive.. I'm sure they will have what to say, and advice to give..
the only problem is.. They might call the guy wanting to marry your sister a simp!

this isn't even about alpha males, unless maybe she's homeless or her house is in a very bad state and even with that, she stayin with them should be temporary, not until they build their own house. Even the woman, if she's a good person should not agree with her son to stay with the new couple. Too many nonsense in this world

k4kenny:
I honestly stunned at the kind of responses I'm seeing from the males in this forum. Do y'all honestly think you're doing women the ultimate favour by marrying her, therefore she should subject herself to all manners of discomfort? The OP's sister is right to stand her ground and call off the wedding. Marrying into the husband's family house with the MIL would breed nothing but hatred and contempt in the long run! This is not to say that she hates his family or she'll chase them away. Sometimes people should be kept at a reasonable distance for love and respect to grow.

Men get over yourselves, not all ladies are desperate to subject themselves to discomfort in the name of marriage. The ones who do lack self esteem and often end up regretting their decision.

Read the book 'The white elephant', by Aisha Adams. It talks about the mistakes she made as a young bride, on of which was agreeing to move into her husband's family house. It ended up in a bitter divorce. Some aren't divorced but are living as strangers in their in law's place. They're mostly bitter and depressed. Trust me if they had the chance to reverse their decision, they would.

but you women can park all your family members to the(his)house abi?.men are doing women a hell lot of favour by marrying them these days.and i think we(men) should start reviewing that favour.

k4kenny:
I honestly stunned at the kind of responses I'm seeing from the males in this forum. Do y'all honestly think you're doing women the ultimate favour by marrying her, therefore she should subject herself to all manners of discomfort? The OP's sister is right to stand her ground and call off the wedding. Marrying into the husband's family house with the MIL would breed nothing but hatred and contempt in the long run! This is not to say that she hates his family or she'll chase them away. Sometimes people should be kept at a reasonable distance for love and respect to grow.

Men get over yourselves, not all ladies are desperate to subject themselves to discomfort in the name of marriage. The ones who do lack self esteem and often end up regretting their decision.

Read the book 'The white elephant', by Aisha Adams. It talks about the mistakes she made as a young bride, on of which was agreeing to move into her husband's family house. It ended up in a bitter divorce. Some aren't divorced but are living as strangers in their in law's place. They're mostly bitter and depressed. Trust me if they had the chance to reverse their decision, they would.

Do you seriously believe that those comments are from men. Little boys that know nothing about life and marriage are speaking from their own small minded understanding. Don't take them seriously.