wirinet:


If she is a housewife with no external income, with young children and from a not well to do family, where do you want her to go?

Reason why every woman should see "housewifing" as an impending disaster

TransAtlanticEx:
Poor women excuse.
Well to do woman go pack out with the children and lay better proximity clause(restraining order) on the husband with full mopol with hilux and covered plates prado moving her and the kids around in a convoy.
If you think say you get craze,try her make she shock you.
In this life,have money ooo....

This is funny.

Only a poor man will be intimidated by this.

No, its never a bad idea. i know alot of women that did that and they're reaping the fruit of their patience now.

though most of the younger generation ladies will not agree but few of them still do it.

xynerise:


So money is the reason most women won't leave?

That's degrading

She's 100% right

Karleb:


This is funny.

Only a poor man will be intimidated by this.

Who told you so?
Go and stop her na.

If there is no physical or emotional violence that could lead to death or mental issues, it may make sense. If the issues are just minor things that could be fixed, staying is a better option
Many children from single parents are turning out great. So, leaving when the wahala is too much is not a bad idea too.

Deicide:
Yes, but the problem is that you would be call a deadbeat dad as a man if you do it, but for women it's understandable....what a double standard world we leave in.

This life no balance.

In theory we don't have deadbeat mum but in practical the case is difference.

Mindlog:
A broken home is not just only when a couple have gone their separate ways, it is also when they are under the same roof but toxic.

Some women use their children as an excuse to remain, to cover up their fear of their inability to provide, re-establish their identity etc.

A toxic family setting is more likely to groom children who would become dysfunctional adults

Op , nothing left to be said after this comment.

Very bad idea....... If you have tried all, and failed......

Simply go through a trial separation first, then if not working........ Divorce.....

It depends on many things and the situation is what determines if the person should remain or not.

xynerise:
I have heard some women say " I am still in this marriage because of the children" when they complain about how terrible their husbands are.

Domestic violence is now common in many marriages and I am not specific to any sex as both are victims of it. Apart from domestic violence, there are other reasons one may become fed up in a marriage..

Inasmuch as some religious folks will speak against separation in marriage, there is still a point one can draw the line to let go.

My question now is, would you rather remain in a psychologically uncomfortable marriage because of your children or let go irrespective of how it affects the children?

Hmmmmmmmmm

Between the devil and the deep blue sea.

While you want your kids to have stability, you also do not want them to think the abnormal traits your partner has is 'okay'.

Afterall, if daddy beat mummy and she stayed, why should I end an abusive relationship? If daddy endured mummy's emotional abuse, why can't I endure Titi's manipulations?

Sometimes, the home becomes so toxic that the kids while physically fine, are emotionally damaged and are not fit to sustain romantic relationships until they undergo some sort of therapy or introspection.

You also have kids replicating the pattern of their parents.

Walkong out of relationships often times bring instability to the kids.

That is why I would always scream people should do very very due diligence before they marry.

Consult whatever you believe before choosing a spouse.

A martial mistake is sometimes almost impossible to correct.

bukatyne:



Hmmmmmmmmm

Between the devil and the deep blue sea.

While you want your kids to have stability, you also do not want them to think the abnormal traits your partner has is 'okay'.

Afterall, if daddy beat mummy and she stayed, why should I end an abusive relationship? If daddy endured mummy's emotional abuse, why can't I endure Titi's manipulations?

Sometimes, the home becomes so toxic that the kids while physically fine, are emotionally damaged and are not fit to sustain romantic relationships until they undergo some sort of therapy or introspection.

You also have kids replicating the pattern of their parents.

Walkong out of relationships often times bring instability to the kids.

That is why I would always scream people should do very very due diligence before they marry.

Consult whatever you believe before choosing a spouse.

A martial mistake is sometimes almost impossible to correct.

Word!!

Sometimes, it is best to separate/divorce for the sake of the children.

Some people pretend to be happy thinking the children cannot feel the tension between them. Do not raise children in a toxic environment. You may do more damage to their psyche and create damaged people all over the place.

If you know you can't hold it together, leave and find out the best way to raise the children.

This thread got me very emotional. There are some things that we should not pray to happen, in our lives. I rather move out of my house for my wife and children, than allow her move out with them to God knows what situation. I rather bear any shit from their mother and allow them get up to eighteen years and once they can take care of themselves, off she goes.

It could be.

xynerise:
I have heard some women say " I am still in this marriage because of the children" when they complain about how terrible their husbands are.

Domestic violence is now common in many marriages and I am not specific to any sex as both are victims of it. Apart from domestic violence, there are other reasons one may become fed up in a marriage..

Inasmuch as some religious folks will speak against separation in marriage, there is still a point one can draw the line to let go.

My question now is, would you rather remain in a psychologically uncomfortable marriage because of your children or let go irrespective of how it affects the children?

First of all you have lived a greater part of your life, your kids haven't.
Second you made the wrong choice of man or woman as the case may be, so why should the poor kids suffer for your error of judgement

For me if the abuse could lead to the death of someone, then and only then would sepration be a better option than staying together. My thoughts...

Did you marry because of the kids in the first place?


What if the pickin papa and mama don die for small him no go live him life?

McTobe:
This thread got me very emotional. There are some things that we should not pray to happen, in our lives. I rather move out of my house for my wife and children, than allow her move out with them to God knows what situation. I rather bear any shit from their mother and allow them get up to eighteen years and once they can take care of themselves, off she goes.

This sounds reasonable, however be certain your life isn't at risk.

bukatyne:



Hmmmmmmmmm

Between the devil and the deep blue sea.

While you want your kids to have stability, you also do not want them to think the abnormal traits your partner has is 'okay'.

Afterall, if daddy beat mummy and she stayed, why should I end an abusive relationship? If daddy endured mummy's emotional abuse, why can't I endure Titi's manipulations?

Sometimes, the home becomes so toxic that the kids while physically fine, are emotionally damaged and are not fit to sustain romantic relationships until they undergo some sort of therapy or introspection.

You also have kids replicating the pattern of their parents.

Walkong out of relationships often times bring instability to the kids.

That is why I would always scream people should do very very due diligence before they marry.

Consult whatever you believe before choosing a spouse.

A martial mistake is sometimes almost impossible to correct.

Which due diligence will you do to know your spouse will be unfaithful in the future

[quote author=TransAtlanticEx post=92670527]Poor women excuse. YOU LIE SMALL SAY LAZY WOMEN EXCUSE (NFA WOMEN)

Thank you, very beautiful write.

Palema007:
Only a sane being can take care of children. While endurance is good,it shouldn't be done at the detriment of one's sanity and health. If you die today, another person will take over and your children might suffer more.

If for d sake of d children, its a welcome development.

Majority of d villains in d society are pdts of broken homes.

truthsayer009:


LMAOO! this your I won’t leave immediately sounds like you'd kill your husband first, then leave

I am not even gonna lie, my reasons for staying won’t be in his best interest. For his own good, he shouldn’t think otherwise.

This is the only reason i indebt to my mom till i die, its obvious to me he's not enjoying the marriage yet she chose to stay. Let me tell you a little story, my dad asked my mom to relocate to his family house because the house is always empty unknown to her that my dad is getting married to another woman,he got married to another woman after the 3rd day of leaving the house. He promised to be checking on us every Sunday and he did that for the first few months and stopped checking on us. To be continued...

Staying and fighting in front of the kids is more damaging than parting ways. You can be a parent from afar. Most women use kids as excuse for staying in a bad marriage. While most couple live as flat mates and yet kick against seperation. If couples know the psychological effects of fighting in front their kids while trying to safe the marriage, they would rather separate and save the kids that the traumatic experience of growing up with both parents who hate each other.

Here

xynerise:


So money is the reason most women won't leave?

That's degrading

But it's true, no matter what, the fear of starting over from scratch is real

pocohantas:


I am not even gonna lie, my reasons for staying won’t be in his best interest. For his own good, he shouldn’t think otherwise.

exactly. If a man thinks he can make me miserable, he has another thing coming.

emkz:
Sometimes, it is best to separate/divorce for the sake of the children.

Some people pretend to be happy thinking the children cannot feel the tension between them. Do not raise children in a toxic environment. You may do more damage to their psyche and create damaged people all over the place.

If you know you can't hold it together, leave and find out the best way to raise the children.

Our people don't know how bad it is bringing up kids is war zone. When husband and wife are always at war. They cheat and go without talking for weeks and they think they are helping the kids. Then they expect their kids to behave better that those whose parents seperated and one took them and gave them all the love, attention and care they needed. When the couple are busy fighting and pretending just to keep a marriage that's not working, they barely have time to show love and attention to the kids

McTobe:
This thread got me very emotional. There are some things that we should not pray to happen, in our lives. I rather move out of my house for my wife and children, than allow her move out with them to God knows what situation. I rather bear any shit from their mother and allow them get up to eighteen years and once they can take care of themselves, off she goes.

By the time they're 18, you'll be so used to the sham of a marriage that yoy won't want to move out. Time has gone afterall