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Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? - Family - Nairaland

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Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by OcVoice: 11:03am On Aug 18, 2020
How exactly do you guys manage marriage pressure from family members?

I and my family members had a function together some weeks back and out of the blues my elder sis asked if I don't want to get married.
I told her I want to, but I need to have a confirmed source of income....That how does she expect me to get married when I'm still struggling to even feed.

My in-laws (brother's wife, sister's husband) joined in the discussion. They said I'm coming of age and I need to get married and start having kids so i can train them when I'm still strong and agile, not when I'm much older and weak!
They even opted to support financially when I'm ready! They said marriage brings good things....that i will surely get a job or business when I marry.

They said a whole lot.........like telling me marriage is not when you have it all. My elder brother even said he had nothing when he married his wife.

All talks from left to right was just ringing in my head and making me feel bad, like I purposely don't want to marry. I have no job nor business, not even a gf! The thoughts alone is just tearing me apart! The worse of it all is the pressure from my mom!

So bachelors in the house, how do you suggest I handle this?

Matured responses pls.

1 Like

Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by thesicilian: 11:08am On Aug 18, 2020
Pressure only gets to you when you allow it to. Telling you that marriage brings good things and that you will surely get a job or business when you marry is one of the greatest scams of the 21st century.

16 Likes 1 Share

Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by JumpByte: 11:10am On Aug 18, 2020
OcVoice:
How exactly do you guys manage marriage pressure from family members?

I and my family members had a function together some weeks back and out of the blues my elder sis asked if I don't want to get married.
I told her I want to, but I need to have a confirmed source of income....That how does she expect me to get married when I'm still struggling to even feed.

My in-laws (brother's wife, sister's husband) joined in the discussion. They said I'm coming of age and I need to get married and start having kids so i can train them when I'm still strong and agile, not when I'm much older and weak!
They even opted to support financially when I'm ready! They said marriage brings good things....that i will surely get a job or business when I marry.

They said a whole lot.........like telling me marriage is not when you have it all. My elder brother even said he had nothing when he married his wife.

All talks from left to right was just ringing in my head and making me feel bad, like I purposely don't want to marry. I have no job nor business, not even a gf! The thoughts alone is just tearing me apart! The worse of it all is the pressure from my mom!

So bachelors in the house, how do you suggest I handle this?

Matured responses pls.



Read my threads. You can make 1 Million Naira after 12 months. And then use it to marry and start a family
Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by OcVoice: 11:13am On Aug 18, 2020
JumpByte:




Read my threads. You can make 1 Million Naira after 12 months. And then use it to marry and start a family

Do you have to quote every?
Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by OcVoice: 11:17am On Aug 18, 2020
thesicilian:
Pressure only gets to you when you allow it to. Telling you that marriage brings good things and that you will surely get a job or business when you marry is one of the greatest scams of the 21st century.

Thank you.... but you know it's not easy to forget all they said and then act like all's well!
Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by thesicilian: 11:21am On Aug 18, 2020
OcVoice:


Thank you.... but you know it's not easy to forget all they said and then act like all's well!
I usually just tell such people "yes sir, thank you sir" with a broad smile and continue focusing on my business.

5 Likes

Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by Ahmed0336(m): 11:24am On Aug 18, 2020
Oga take your time jare.

no woman will want to stay with a job less/broke dude when bills needs to be paid.

2 Likes

Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by strafist911: 11:26am On Aug 18, 2020
Oga one thing you shouldn't forget in this life is: "YOU ARE O.Y.O
It's also better to marry late than marrying the wrong person or @ the wrong time.
Marry when u know and feel it's convenient for you because when sh.it hits the fan, the same people who pushed you to go & marry will still be the ones to tell you that they also have their own problems to deal with.
RUN YOUR RACE.

7 Likes

Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by OcVoice: 11:27am On Aug 18, 2020
Ahmed0336:
Oga take your time jare.

no woman will want to stay with a job less/broke dude when bills needs to be paid.

Thank you
Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by OcVoice: 11:29am On Aug 18, 2020
strafist911:
Oga one thing you shouldn't forget in this life is: "YOU ARE O.Y.O
It's also better to marry late than marrying the wrong person or @ the wrong time.
Marry when u know and feel it's convenient for you because when sh.it hits the fan, the same people who pushed you to go & marry will still be the ones to tell you that they also have their own problems to deal with.

Alright sir, thanks
Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by GboyegaD(m): 11:42am On Aug 18, 2020
Tell them it is none of their business and it is your life so you choose to live it as you do please.

No one loves in the marriage with you should you rush and marry a wrong person and neither did any sponsor your family should you marry without adequate finance.

In my case, my dad had made it known from time that no one should ever ask such question however, my mom asked my friends like two times if they were not bothered I wasn't married. Such talks, I acted as though I never heard and that was it. When I was ready, I told everyone to come and eat rice. The rest they say is history.

3 Likes

Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by Amanee(f): 11:50am On Aug 18, 2020
The problem with Nigeria is that most Nigerians always like to put the cart before the horse because I don't understand how you'd advise a jobless and broke young man to get married when it's not as if marriage is going out of fashion

3 Likes

Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by rhemauni: 12:29pm On Aug 18, 2020
OcVoice:
How exactly do you guys manage marriage pressure from family members?

I and my family members had a function together some weeks back and out of the blues my elder sis asked if I don't want to get married.
I told her I want to, but I need to have a confirmed source of income....That how does she expect me to get married when I'm still struggling to even feed.

My in-laws (brother's wife, sister's husband) joined in the discussion. They said I'm coming of age and I need to get married and start having kids so i can train them when I'm still strong and agile, not when I'm much older and weak!
They even opted to support financially when I'm ready! They said marriage brings good things....that i will surely get a job or business when I marry.

They said a whole lot.........like telling me marriage is not when you have it all. My elder brother even said he had nothing when he married his wife.

All talks from left to right was just ringing in my head and making me feel bad, like I purposely don't want to marry. I have no job nor business, not even a gf! The thoughts alone is just tearing me apart! The worse of it all is the pressure from my mom!

So bachelors in the house, how do you suggest I handle this?

Matured responses pls.


First thing first
How old are you

Ur age will decide the advice for u.

1 Like

Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by OcVoice: 12:46pm On Aug 18, 2020
rhemauni:


First thing first
How old are

Ur age will decide the advice for u.

40
Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by Ishilove(f): 1:10pm On Aug 18, 2020
OcVoice:


40
It is well.

If you are 40, how come your people are telling you "you are coming of age". How can a man of 40 be coming of age?

Op, I put it to you that this is not your real age.

2 Likes

Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by rhemauni: 1:41pm On Aug 18, 2020
OcVoice:


40

U are of age biko, marriage should b in ur priority list now

There is no guarantee u will make it even at 50

Get a productive woman and settle down, to get it cheaper target young single mom or divorced mom with good source of income grin most of them are lonely n she will kill u with love lol

Ask ur ppl to support you to start a business too

U don't have to spend to marry every lady, some of them esp 35+ na carry go but make sure u get one with good skill, business or working.
Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by OcVoice: 2:16pm On Aug 18, 2020
Double post
Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by DontBullshitMe: 2:17pm On Aug 18, 2020
Only a weakling gets pressured for something as insignificant as marriage.

1 Like

Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by OcVoice: 2:18pm On Aug 18, 2020
Ishilove:

It is well.

If you are 40, how come your people are telling you "you are coming of age". How can a man of 40 be coming of age?

Op, I put it to you that this is not your real age.

Why would I lie about my age? What exactly would I gain by lieing? Check my recent thread before this! I am 40.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by Gabe427: 2:50pm On Aug 18, 2020
rhemauni:


U are of age biko, marriage should b in ur priority list now

There is no guarantee u will make it even at 50

Get a productive woman and settle down, to get it cheaper target young single mom or divorced mom with good source of income grin most of them are lonely n she will kill u with love lol

Ask ur ppl to support you to start a business too

U don't have to spend to marry every lady, some of them esp 35+ na carry go but make sure u get one with good skill, business or working.



Sir(Because u senior me die)
Follow this advice if you really want to get married


But if your still unsure about it Take things at your own pace All races don't have the same finish line

Get a cat they serve as good companion and it also pussy.........
Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by GboyegaD(m): 3:30pm On Aug 18, 2020
OcVoice:


40

Even at that, please do not let anyone pressure you as they are what a Yoruba man will call dance coaches. On the dance floor of life, it is a solo race. Take it a step at a time and if you feel you are ready now, let God guide you.

1 Like

Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by Wolgrace(m): 3:54pm On Aug 18, 2020
As a bachelor, don't try it.. Even, no marriage counsellor will encourage you to marry without any good source of income. Many marriages, families, and homes are in shambles and desolate because of it..

Ministry, marriage, and business are three things in life are very identical with same principles of growth and stability, more like triplets born of the same womb..

In business, financial capital is the foundation and start up. Without MONEY, can you start business? No! So is the marriage.

If it's foolish for a man to aim at starting a business plan without money, then it is more foolish for a man to marry without a good source of monetary income.

This century is an era of a harsher task which the money-less institutions cannot survive. Ministry, marriage, business plan, economy, health, even friendships now, et al cannot survive without money; its like fishes without water.

Brother, calm down.. Get up and work, even as your future supportive wife must work too. Get busy now.
Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by Nddytex08(m): 4:06pm On Aug 18, 2020
thesicilian:
Pressure only gets to you when you allow it to. Telling you that marriage brings good things and that you will surely get a job or business when you marry is one of the greatest scams of the 21st century.

Is not really a scam my friend.

I have a friend who will be getting married soon, he had no work just managing his little hustling business but along the line as the preparation for marriage is ongoing, he got a text from a bank he did interview some time ago that he got the job. As am speaking, he has resumed already even amidst the numbers that applied n came for interview he didn't even put much hope on it but here is he today a banker smiley

What am trying to say is that marriage(s) open financial doors n break through to people not all at times. One need to be prayerful too in the choice of partner as it goes a long way too. Good lucks! Guys
Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by zed7: 4:23pm On Aug 18, 2020
I think the Nigerian aim of advice is to pull people into their circle of suffering. Alot of married people are unhappy with their relationships and alot can barely feed their families but will be the first to put pressure on others to get married.

Marriage is a personal thing. I only give advice to people who come for advice and nothing more. Nobody will support you financially when you get married and start struggling to survive.

As for getting blessed when married, I will only assume that the married person makes more effort to make money and saves more because of the added responsibilities. That may explain the fact that he thinks he is getting 'blessed' because of marriage.

4 Likes

Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by Zabiboy: 4:29pm On Aug 18, 2020
OcVoice:

1) They even opted to support financially when I'm ready! ...They said marriage brings good things.... 2) that i will SURELY get a job or business when I marry.
3) The worse of it all is the pressure from my mom!

1) If you try this, get ready to hate your marriage, your siblings and regret this decision for the rest of your life
2) grin grin ..The annoying part of this is that word "SURELY" .....SCAM
3) Of course, she'll pressure you grin ..she wants to hand over the manipulation to someone else( if you know, you know)...
My advice:
1) Next time she brings marriage talk, Ask her to mention ONE...just ONE thing a married man has that a single man cant get...
2) Erase marriage off your mind man...focus on yourself...there's alot to enjoy in this life
GL

4 Likes

Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by Hathor5(f): 5:03pm On Aug 18, 2020
zed7:
I think the Nigerian aim of advice is to pull people into their circle of suffering. Alot of married people are unhappy with their relationships and alot can barely feed their families but will be the first to put pressure on others to get married.

Marriage is a personal thing. I only give advice to people who come for advice and nothing more. Nobody will support you financially when you get married and start struggling to survive.

As for getting blessed when married, I will only assume that the married person makes more effort to make money and saves more because of the added responsibilities. That may explain the fact that he thinks he is getting 'blessed' because of marriage.

I hope this is not true but at the same time I have no better explanation for the obsession with marriage.
Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by roughdiamond(m): 5:19pm On Aug 18, 2020
Personally, the pressure to get married is coming from myself. Everyone in my family including my younger brother is married with a child. I have been searching too but genotype and dealing with Nigerian girls are frustrating my efforts.(90% of the girls I have met don't know what they want). By God's grace, I must get married on/before next year.
Op, please start something doing no matter how small. You can start with little services. Don't look at your certificate, age, environment or what people will say. Make sure you marry a working class with understanding. My sister is the breadwinner in her family and they are very comfortable and peaceful.

1 Like

Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by Ishilove(f): 7:01pm On Aug 18, 2020
OcVoice:


Why would I lie about my age? What exactly would I gain by lieing? Check my recent thread before this! I am 40.
Okay. You are of age indeed. In short, your Nairaland brothers will call you midnight newspaper.

Be that as it may, you can't support a family when you have no means so it is time to go for deliverance from the spirit of delay and stagnancy. You're a Catholic, yes? I believe there are charismatic groups in the church that can give you advice.

2 Likes

Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by OcVoice: 7:19pm On Aug 18, 2020
Ishilove:

Okay. You are of age indeed. In short, your Nairaland brothers will call you midnight newspaper.

Be that as it may, you can't support a family when you have no means so it is time to go for deliverance from the spirit of delay and stagnancy. You're a Catholic, yes? I believe there are charismatic groups in the church that can give you advice.

I am in the charismatic. I also pray very well.
Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by SweetCunt97(f): 7:41pm On Aug 18, 2020
OcVoice:


40
Bros just look for a rich single lady to marry... You done dey turn night newspaper wey we gat on torch to read

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Bachelors, How Do You Manage Marriage Pressure? by SweetCunt97(f): 7:44pm On Aug 18, 2020
roughdiamond:
Personally, the pressure to get married is coming from myself. Everyone in my family including my younger brother is married with a child. I have been searching too but genotype and dealing with Nigerian girls are frustrating my efforts.(90% of the girls I have met don't know what they want). By God's grace, I must get married on/before next year.
Op, please start something doing no matter how small. You can start with little services. Don't look at your certificate, age, environment or what people will say. Make sure you marry a working class with understanding. My sister is the breadwinner in her family and they are very comfortable and peaceful.
So what's her husband doing if she's the bread winner? Hope it's temporary sha cos she go old before her time with such load

1 Like

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