I need an advise on how to go about this issue..
Please pardon my typo...

Here is its...

By God grace am OK and doing my best.
It all started that when I was still staying with my parents. There was a day my dad say something that shock me...when I was still in college of education " he said..and i quote ...when I get married, I will not take good care of them or been there for them."

That statement really hurt my feelings.. How will he be thinking of such in his heart. I have a soft heart and I simply know where am coming from and going to...

Presently ..am on my own ...working hard to actualized my dream until I met my current lady..she has been supporting, encouraging me to always know that there is a brighter days ahead. We have been dating for like a year and six months now.. I have met her parents and siblings.. They are good people with good heart. And I have always show her to my parents too..

From the day I inform my parents that I will soon get married... My dad was not in support... Indicating that I should wait until our last born to finish her studies...of which she is currently in 200 level in one of the federal university. To be Frank..I was sad for that statements and other ones my dad mention to me.

For like 2 weeks I didn't call him ...after some weeks..I call him and to hear about his health and my mum.

Fast forward.. My sister did her introduction of which was there... As tradition demands...

I call my dad about my intention of doing a formal introduction to my lady people...to get prepare for the marriage proper...

Now is the issue...
My dad call me and said that he has done his family that the lady I want to marry so will "Rule me" that is have power over me. That I will abandon him, my mum, and siblings...that a prophet told him...

I will like what...
My thought na flash back to when I was still in school when he inform that when I get married.. I will not care about them any more..

Note that before I met my lady (fiancée) I was sending him money at the end of the month and after I met my fiancée.. I still send him money because presently he is retired..

Also...am not stingy or careless not remembering my parents..deeds. Am not wicked to that extent of abandoning them.

Am so concern about welfare of which my fiancée and friends can attest to that.

In this situation I found my self...
What should I do?

Please Nairalanders...I need a good advice... Thanks...

Aside from greed and fear of loss, a good father or mother would have been able to make any sacrifies it will take to see the son complete as a man.

But in this case the revers is the case, my brother no matter how don't resigne your idea of of getting married to avoid regrates.

Your dad has no reason aside jealousy, he is seeing a future where a lady will be benefitting from you thereby reducing what will ordinarily get to them and is afraid of that.

For your dad who initially told you to wait until your last both finish from the university, this might be him trying to manipulate you against the lady. Do your soul searching and if you find peace thinking about the marriage, kindly go ahead.

Anything that make you happy

I'm here to learn... lemme wait for the elders

Bro do your own investigation on the lady and present her to God through prayers,if you're still convinced on your move please follow your heart.your father is jealous and fears the lady will stop the flow of help coming to them which is somehow true.. because you will have two parents now you will do what you do for your family for your in-laws.if you are financially stable please open a business for your parent which they can control and make them self reliance.

We all tend to listen to our parents blindly,like why dafvck will your dad wants to dictate your life! lest you forget, this is your life we're talking about, your future! don't you wanna grow your family? when will you man up and take a stand about your life!

If you love her and she loves you, and she has those unique attributes you want in a woman then wife her!! If your oldman doesn't agree, then get her pregnant and he will surely agree.

Sorry, for him to have said that even before you find your foot doesn't look good, don't give in to his selfish desire or ulterior motive. I don't mean to be disrespectful, why shift his responsibility to you, who brought that your sister to the world, you can only assist and not bear the family's burden all alone. Who knows if you wait for your sister to finish school, he will cajole you to wait till they pass on so that you don't forget them. Be ready because he will not see good in any woman you want to marry.

afinotanjnr:
I need an advise on how to go about this issue..
Please pardon my typo...

Here is its...

By God grace am OK and doing my best.
It all started that when I was still staying with my parents. There was a day my dad say something that shock me...when I was still in college of education " he said..and i quote ...when I get married, I will not take good care of them or been there for them."

That statement really hurt my feelings.. How will he be thinking of such in his heart. I have a soft heart and I simply know where am coming from and going to...

Presently ..am on my own ...working hard to actualized my dream until I met my current lady..she has been supporting, encouraging me to always know that there is a brighter days ahead. We have been dating for like a year and six months now.. I have met her parents and siblings.. They are good people with good heart. And I have always show her to my parents too..

From the day I inform my parents that I will soon get married... My dad was not in support... Indicating that I should wait until our last born to finish her studies...of which she is currently in 200 level in one of the federal university. To be Frank..I was sad for that statements and other ones my dad mention to me.

For like 2 weeks I didn't call him ...after some weeks..I call him and to hear about his health and my mum.

Fast forward.. My sister did her introduction of which was there... As tradition demands...

I call my dad about my intention of doing a formal introduction to my lady people...to get prepare for the marriage proper...

Now is the issue...
My dad call me and said that he has done his family that the lady I want to marry so will "Rule me" that is have power over me. That I will abandon him, my mum, and siblings...that a prophet told him...

I will like what...
My thought na flash back to when I was still in school when he inform that when I get married.. I will not care about them any more..

Note that before I met my lady (fiancée) I was sending him money at the end of the month and after I met my fiancée.. I still send him money because presently he is retired..

Also...am not stingy or careless not remembering my parents..deeds. Am not wicked to that extent of abandoning them.

Am so concern about welfare of which my fiancée and friends can attest to that.

In this situation I found my self...
What should I do?

Please Nairalanders...I need a good advice... Thanks...

Your father has seen that you're weak and easy to control(at least he is still controlling you to an extent even though you moved out of his house a long time ago) and as a married man, he has first hand experience of how manipulative women can be.

He fears that you will forget the family once one gets hold of you and it's possible.

You can prove to him that you are a man by marrying who you want to marry, with or without his consent but make sure the lady is worth it else you're fvcked for life.

Do your findings and do it carefully, a woman's smile is never like her character. Search her to find the woman she will become after marriage.


What you're seeing in her now may be a camouflage

Your dad is afraid, I presume u have tried proving him wrong but still not working.................... If I were you, I go marry sha

a bad wife they u can. cope with but not a bad in law...if u think u re going to bulloze ur way to the wedding your wife is d one who is going to pay dearly for it...bcuz imagine your dad visiting you some day n he refused to eat at your house...tell me how she will feel....or your dad makes your family cut ties with u guys.....am not saying u should follow your instructions bcuz its very clear that he is just been insecure but handle this matter very carefully if u want to have a peaceful home....truthfully we all know that when a man marries...he attend to his wife's family Dan his...that's y he is acting dis way....call him n set up a meeting wit him...only or with also your mom....have a thorough talk wit him n make him see reasons y u won't abandon dem

I'm sorry sir but your dad is greedy, selfish and manipulative. Don't let him trap you.

That prophet thing na scam. Parents mostly okay the card when they don't want you to be with who they don't approve of. In this case, your dad's reason for not approving is his selfishness. Why didn't a prophet give him this prophesy all these while?

Na use them wan use you, be wise. Open an account for your sister's fees and upkeep. You can make it a joint account with only her and you as signatories to the account so you can pay her fees from there and on your own, send her pocket money and still assist your parents.

Give your dad assurance that you won't abandon him.

Nigerian parents will give birth to kids they can't take care of on their own only to make their oldest kids co-parents.

Sad.

Ur dad is talking frm experience and i understand his drift buh just keep showing him and talk to him that u'll be there for him.

First do a background check on the character of your girl friend if her character is ok.Go home lie down on the ground at your mother's feet in the presence of your father and start crying begging her to beg your father to allow you to marry the love of your life.weep uncrontrollably and threaten to harm your self if they don't give you there blessings and support you.I can grantee you that they will agree immediately.

Romanoff:
I'm sorry sir but your dad is greedy, selfish and manipulative. Don't let him trap you.

That prophet thing na scam. Parents mostly okay the card when they don't want you to be with who they don't approve of. In this case, your dad's reason for not approving is his selfishness. Why didn't a prophet give him this prophesy all these while?

Na use them wan use you, be wise. Open an account for your sister's fees and upkeep. You can make it a joint account with only her and you as signatories to the account so you can pay her fees from there and on your own, send her pocket money and still assist your parents.

Give your dad assurance that you won't abandon him.

Nigerian parents will give birth to kids they can't take care of on their own only to make their oldest kids co-parents.

Sad.

Thanks so much

You can't blame your dad, bro. He's got experiences, he knows what women are capable of doing and he is scared of loosing you.

Bro, all you need to do is earn his trust, and the trust of your fiance. Visit him regularly with the lady. In fact, allow the lady buy things for him whenever you're visiting.

PS: Don't mind those calling your dad selfish. I can see from the perspective of your dad.

I have a bro in the U. S, somebody the whole family suffered for before travelling. He got a wife in Naija here, from Ogun state. He took her with him and I'm telling you, you do not even wish to know the way myself and family are living right now. He forgot totally he has anyone in Naija anymore. He only send something to my mum once a year, only when the wife asks him to. And he is my immediate elder bro.

Bro, earn your Pa's trust. That's all you need. Good luck to you.

SaAyomikun:
You can't blame your dad, bro. He's got experiences, he knows what women are capable of doing and he is scared of loosing you.

Bro, all you need to do is earn his trust, and the trust of your fiance. Visit him regularly with the lady. In fact, allow the lady buy things for him whenever you're visiting.

PS: Don't mind those calling your dad selfish. I can see from the perspective of your dad.

I have a bro in the U. S, somebody the whole family suffered for before travelling. He got a wife in Naija here, from Ogun state. He took her with him and I'm telling you, you do not even wish to know the way myself and family are living right now. He forgot totally he has anyone in Naija anymore. He only send something to my mum once a year, only when the wife asks him to. And he is my immediate elder bro.

Bro, earn your Pa's trust. That's all you need. Good luck to you.

This is the wisest comment so far...

this wan strong o, for your dad to think or believe that you would do such a thing simply means that the problem is from your side based on your recent doings..

Actually, this is one of my problems. I think the way forward is establishing them both with a business and your sister should be supported from time to time in school. Then establish your girlfriend with a business, whose account you monitor, incase she is not financially stable then get married. Then let's see who will challenge your union. Who ever did after this, should b an enemy from childhood.

Don't let your dad stand in your way cos he's excuses are not good enough. Keep pushing for him to accept the girl, pass through your mum & siblings. Keep insisting. Having said that;

Beware that women are generally wicked people (it's a natural traits), this girl you want to marry will definitely help you see reasons why you should stop helping your family & will naturally like to keep them far from you by pointing out reasons and how finally pressed you are and that maybe you should tell your dad that this month you don't have money so please with him to wait till next month. She will make comments in passing over n over again at how that your sister is a spoilt brat who can't wash plates clean whenever she visit....so on.

Be on guard