I often hear from wives who are understandably extremely upset to find out that their husband has been cheating. Unfortunately, many place at least some of the blame on themselves: Why didn't they see it? Were they not a good wife? Is there something wrong with them that contributed to a seemingly good man cheating? Even worse, some of these wives have had previous failed relationships, so they are even more likely to blame themselves and to worry that they are going to now be in a never-ending cycle of hurtful and bad relationships.

One of them might say, "my mother would probably laugh at my situation if she were still alive. She told me not to marry my first husband. She told me that he wasn't a good person, but I ignored her. Turns out, she was very much right about him. I ended up divorcing him within five years. However, I thought I'd hit the jackpot with my second husband. We met in a support group because we both had the same illness. My husband was so supportive of me. I thought that after the pain of my first marriage, I had finally found the one. We were really happy. Honestly, I thought that we were still very happy. We are both healthy now and I thought that life was good. But last weekend, I found out that he had cheated on me. It was not a long-term relationship. It was at the end of his treatment when he went out to celebrate. He admitted this to me himself and has begged me not to leave him. He swears that he has never cheated on anymore before. I feel like a fool. Here I thought I'd finally found a good man. I don't know what to do. I loved this man and I enjoyed being married to him. But part of me thinks that something is wrong with me so that I can't maintain a good and healthy relationship. And yet, when I look back at my current marriage to see where I might have gone wrong, I don't see anything. I think that I've been a good wife and my husband agrees. So why am I possibly looking at two failed marriages? What in the world is wrong with me?"

I will admit that I am biased before I even attempt to answer this question. I have dealt with infidelity. Frankly, I don't believe that the faithful spouse has anything wrong with them - at least in terms of infidelity. I admit that in some affairs, there were marital issues. But this is not always the case. Some people cheat who are in very healthy and happy marriages. And even when there are admitted issues, there are so many other options besides cheating. For that reason, I believe the responsibility for cheating lies with the person who cheated. That is just my take on it. And I have learned that there is no upside whatsoever to blaming yourself. You have tried to look honestly at your marriage and can say that you were a decent spouse. I am not sure what else you could have done.

No matter what you see or don't see when you try to look back, the reality is now. You can't change the first marriage. You can only learn from it. But you are now in a position to decide what you want to do with your current marriage. However, you don't need to decide today, tomorrow, or even next week. You can simply gather information, gauge how you feel, and watch/wait. You could also see a therapist or read some self-help to help you to determine what is truly in your best interests.

It may help to know that people cheat for many reasons that have nothing to do with their spouse or their marriage. They cheat when they are in stressful situations (like illness.) They cheat when they have low self-esteem. They cheat when they do not feel worthy of something. I am not in any way defending the cheating. All people who cheat make a choice. I am just trying to reassure you that a spouse's cheating is not because of something you did. It comes back to them. Not you.

The cheating also doesn't necessarily have to mean more failed marriages, if you do not want for it to. Of course, there are never any guarantees. Restoring a marriage after an affair is hard work. But in my experience, if you have two willing people, it can be done. This is a very individual choice. Some will decide that the marriage can't or shouldn't be saved. Some will feel that it is healthier for them to walk away. But others will feel that it is more beneficial to at least try to make it work as they are still invested in at least seeing if their marriage might be saved. Neither decision means that there is anything wrong with you. It just means that you are taking care of yourself and doing what is best for you. But one failed marriage and one infidelity doesn't mean that you are flawed beyond repair since marriage is a two-way street that involves two people. And you are not the one who cheated.https://realifetok..com/

Na wa

Men will always cheat. Not because cheating is our calling, but God did it that way... We are logical human being noted that... And we are also the life carryer...

U are attracted to people that cheat, try to adjust your choice

daben1:
If you want to be cashing out every 5 days, just Check my signature.. I've done it, that's why I brought it here

Go to business section... Or else BANNED

VeeVeeMyLuv:
U are attractive to people that cheat, try to adjust your choice

I still don't understand ur point sir...

Am sorry to sound harsh or stupid. Whichever one u deem fit to describe me.

Cheating has been accepted all over the world. (despite been a bad thing)

Women and Men just either accept it if it happens or stay single for life to avoid a repeat.

Its just so unfortunate that women are expected to accept a cheating man as normal more than men are allowed

Marry the third one then.

Maybe you should communicate with him, ask him what the problem is. Let him express his sincere thought about you, then you can take it from there

Juliusmomoh:

I still don't understand ur point sir...

the individual lamenting about relationship has a thing for cheaters/players

VeeVeeMyLuv:
the individual lamenting about relationship has a thing for cheaters/players

Noted..

You are finished

You better go back to your first husband, and stop committing adultery with the second husband.

Just see men and accept them the way they are because it looks like they will always cheat

Just for your own happiness pls

frozen70:
Just see men and accept them the way they are because it looks like they will always cheat

Just for your own happiness pls

Don't advice anyone to accept anything the way it is
If you're not suitable with something you can switch at any given point of time
Do what will make you happy not what will make others happy

ZINIBANKS:

Don't advice anyone to accept anything the way it is
If you're not suitable with something you can switch at any given point of time
Do what will make you happy not what will make others happy

If you are looking at it from my side of view, you will understand that this is her second marriage, how many will she be ⁉️

In marriage there are certain things that you can't just fight but manage it until it changes

I will rather be with a ma than that cheats than a man that is so wicked that he will beat me at the slitest thing

Do you think most married women are happy that their husband's are cheating

They have just accepted their fate and they think they can manage the situation

frozen70:


If you are looking at it from my side of view, you will understand that this is her second marriage, how many will she be ⁉️

In marriage there are certain things that you can't just fight but manage it until it changes

I will rather be with a ma than that cheats than a man that is so wicked that he will beat me at the slitest thing

Do you think most married women are happy that their husband's are cheating

They have just accepted their fate and they think they can manage the situation

I understand even some women stay because they don't want their children to be mothered by someone else
But you know they're not stone but humans
A time will come that their body will not be able to admit it again

ZINIBANKS:

I understand even some women stay because they don't want their children to be mothered by someone else
But you know they're not stone but humans
A time will come that their body will not be able to admit it again

If a woman is capable of running her home, their is a little she can tolerate from a cheating man

But if she is not capable of herself talk more of the entire home, that's where you see her neck deep in that shit

No good man again oo, they're all the same especially Nigerian males.

They're all useless

Ardar:
No good man again oo, they're all the same especially Nigerian males.

They're all useless

Your father is the chairman of the useless males.

d

I wanted to comment before until I realised its copied ....

Martini101:
Marry the third one then.

Seconded!

ZINIBANKS:

Don't advice anyone to accept anything the way it is
If you're not suitable with something you can switch at any given point of time
Do what will make you happy not what will make others happy

Women need to accept that at some point a man will get tired of banging the same toto

We men can't be faithful. The reason I don't understand why we should even bother with monogamy.

Who say Men can't be faithful. Or men must cheat. This is a lie. Cheating is a choice. The reason why we see all these is because our fathers failed in their responsibility. Boys are no longer thought how to be responsible to their family. Responsibility is not all about providing money. It also entails emotional and moral support. Men are quick to judge a lady saying she has no proper upbringing. Where as they are worse. Fathers are suppose to teach their sons how to treat a woman and how to be responsible not only to their families but also to the society.