Shey cockroaches dey play for your brain ABI.......

BigSarah:

Old age full of regrets? ,What’s that about?

Hello Dumbsarah

DrFunmisticGlow:
I have been noticing this trend for a while. I don't have a lot of examples to quote from but i have a few.

The first was at a get-together with some good female friends and we were talking. We talked about work, businesses, exams, then relationships and marriage. Then one of my friends, let's call her T says that's she is taking a break from relationships, because she has suddenly realized that she doesn't want children. And she proceeded to list reasons why. There was silence for a while. Then another of my friends let's call her H then says something that ticks me off. 'You probably feel like that now, but you will change your mind once you're older'. Another friend G chimes in and says that T only feels that way because she just finished paediatrics posting and it can be traumatising, that she'll get over it.

I reply and say that there's nothing wrong with a woman choosing to remain childless. This leads to an argument, but we settle it sha.

The other one was an older lady who came to my office for a consultation after diagnosing and giving drugs as she was my last patient. We got talking and I asked her if she was lonely being alone. She says that yes it is at times, but when she sees most of her married friends being in one form of misery or the other, she feels that she doesn't regret it. She said she couldn't sustain long term relationships due to her dysfunctional upbringing. I then ask her about adopting and she says she doesn't want children, she cannot stand them. She then tells me that not everyone is supposed to be a parent and i agree.

She then tells me that i am the first person who she talked to about this issue and didn't try to judge her, try to convince her to change her mind, dissmiss her or shame her

This got me thinking that some people, especially women due to choice or circumstances have no children. But nigerians in general seem to ostracize them.


This is a recurring theme that I keep seeing. One would think that men are the ones who judge, but no, women do it the most.


So my question is this, why do people feel uncomfortable with the fact that some people cannot or choose not to have children?

It doesn't make sense.

Please share your views on this topic. No bashing please. Happy Sunday.

How do you feel when you see a bachelor at 60?. If you have no children do you see people coming to your face to say you are an idi0t? If no your mind is making things up or the women are just self conscious cause the reason they don't want children is cause they can't have children(olosho wombs)

lightangel65i:


How do you feel when you see a bachelor at 60?. If you have no children do you see people coming to your face to say you are an idi0t? If no your mind is making things up or the women are just self conscious cause the reason they don't want children is cause they can't have children(olosho wombs)

this is an unenlightened and close minded comment. so you are saying that every bachelor at 60 is impotent?

i have seen bachelors at 60, and I choose not to talk at them or judge when I have not been in his shoes.His life decisions are not my business and are not yours either

baralatie:

you did not stage T reasons for her decisions!

but for the other one her trauma is from her upbringing(she herself has not gotten over the word disfunctional).Reasearch has it that children from disfunctional homes are drug addicts ,into crime etc but here we are she made it however she has robbed herself of one precious thing a child.She should have compared herself with Mrs Okonjo Iweala and her set.
Women who nothing wrong with them should not allow devil lie to them about been childless because God forbid if they go for x-ray and the results shows they are wombless or they are barren.
Hian!
Their excuses of work,career and gbo gbo ti gba will leave this Earth to Pluto and leave them to face better war!

Upon the mistake of eve_she gave birth

Sarah as she old reach_ she gave birth


Holy Mary as she holy pass all the women for this world_she gave birth.


my advice find a man and knack am well,well_ you too give birth

this is silly, not everyone with a damaged womb choose not to bear kids. its like saying all nuns have damaged wombs and all priests are impotent. not all people think children are precious if not there wont be child labor,child trafficking and child abuse. many nigerians don't deserve to have children.

lightangel65i:


How do you feel when you see a bachelor at 60?. If you have no children do you see people coming to your face to say you are an idi0t? If no your mind is making things up or the women are just self conscious cause the reason they don't want children is cause they can't have children(olosho wombs)

Get out

DrFunmisticGlow:
this is silly, not everyone with a damaged womb choose not to bear kids. its like saying all nuns have damaged wombs and all priests are impotent. not all people think children are precious if not there wont be child labor,child trafficking and child abuse. many nigerians don't deserve to have children.

you are coming back to what and where I am saying about children.
if you are judging people who have children that they do not deserve to bear and have children.
you have revealed your maternal instincts and love for children without batting an eyelid.
this inbuilt instinct is there for every woman that came out of a woman that passed through a mother's womb.

baralatie:

you are coming back to what and where I am saying about children.
if you are judging people who have children that they do not deserve to bear and have children.
you have revealed your maternal instincts and love for children without batting an eyelid.
this inbuilt instinct is there for every woman that came out of a woman that passed through a mother's womb.

so where is this motherly instincts when children are dumped in pit latrines, and beaten to death for stealing meat by women?


Don't make this about me. I am just saying don't judge others who don't or choose not to have kids

DrFunmisticGlow:
Get out

Did you comment two times to keep this thread going its dead so is your brain, and stop lying to us your womb is damaged

No point having children if you don't want and can't raise them. Except maybe you are super irresponsible and don't give a sh1t about your children.

Today I saw a woman with a child who has some form of neurological birth deformity...like trisomies kinda...and it got me emotional like, she wouldn't have hoped for a deformed kid. I mean the work it takes to raise a normal kid is enormous not to talk of a mentally and physically deformed kid?!!...even with all the money in the world, you're fvcked psychologically.

Damn! Kids aren't even in my plans. No way man, no way

Did the Creator of all things designed us that way? Isn't the only known and recorded barren woman in scripture became thus because she was cursed? It's an aberration to go against our default settings. She was created to reproduce. Our generation is in deep Trouble with such kind of mindset.

ReluctantAdult:
No point having children if you don't want and can't raise them. Except maybe you are super irresponsible and don't give a sh1t about your children.

Today I saw a woman with a child who has some form of neurological birth deformity...like trisomies kinda...and it got me emotional like, she wouldn't have hoped for a deformed kid. I mean the work it takes to raise a normal kid is enormous not to talk of a mentally and physically deformed kid?!!...even with all the money in the world, you're fvcked psychologically.

Damn! Kids aren't even in my plans. No way man, no way

I tell you. That's what some people on this thread dont get. It is better to be honest nwith yourself than invite trouble.

nexta007:
Did the Creator of all things designed us that way? Isn't the only known and recorded barren woman in scripture became thus because she was cursed? It's an aberration to go against our default settings. She was created to reproduce. Our generation is in deep Trouble with such kind of mindset.

So hannah in the Bible was cursed. Deborah who didn't bear children were cursed.

All these fanatics turning scripture around. Mtcheeew

It's very much better for a woman not to have children than to give birth to terrorists, Fulani terrorists, cultists and thieves like corrupt politicians. All the bad bad people were once children and if they weren't born by virtue of their mom choosing to remain childless, and then only us the good children were born, life would be very much better for everyone.

This is one of the reasons I'm pro-abortion and an advocate of bodily autonomy. Instead of giving birth to a child that will have to go through a dysfunctional upbringing because the mom lacks the spiritual wherewithal to inculcate discipline and wit in a child making the child to go rogue, it's better u eliminate the child at the embryonic stage or never conceive at all.

DrFunmisticGlow:
so where is this motherly instincts when children are dumped in pit latrines, and beaten to death for stealing meat by women?


Don't make this about me. I am just saying don't judge others who don't or choose not to have kids

so you are insinuating that those who "say" that they choose not to have kids have at the back of their minds that they would far worse mother's!

,

DrFunmisticGlow:
So hannah in the Bible was cursed. Deborah who didn't bear children were cursed.

All these fanatics turning scripture around. Mtcheeew

Bloda, read d post well sir. Squeeze and get the juice b4 before saying what u think. And the insulting isn't necessary. If you don't like the comments, kindly say so politely. God bless you still. Truth is, things get bad or don't bless us when used in used in the unintended way...

DrFunmisticGlow:
So hannah in the Bible was cursed. Deborah who didn't bear children were cursed.

All these fanatics turning scripture around. Mtcheeew

Was Deborah, the "Mother in Israel" childless Hahaha.... wonderful guy

nexta007:


Bloda, read d post well sir. Squeeze and get the juice b4 before saying what u think. And the insulting isn't necessary. If you don't like the comments, kindly say so politely. God bless you still. Truth is, things get bad or don't bless us when used in used in the unintended way...

i didn't insult anyone. I think I forgot to add question marks or so.

DrFunmisticGlow:
this is an unenlightened and close minded comment. so you are saying that every bachelor at 60 is impotent?

i have seen bachelors at 60, and I choose not to talk at them or judge when I have not been in his shoes.His life decisions are not my business and are not yours either

At the boldfaced, I am 100% in agreement with you on that. Before you get incensed from the various responses here, don't forget you are speaking from an enlightened standpoint in a primitive society. Keep that in mind.

UDUJ:


At the boldfaced, I am 100% in agreement with you on that. Before you get incensed from the various responses here, don't forget you are speaking from an enlightened standpoint in a primitive society. Keep that in mind.

Thanks.

It's exasperating and tiring.

DrFunmisticGlow:
I have been noticing this trend for a while. I don't have a lot of examples to quote from but i have a few.

The first was at a get-together with some good female friends and we were talking. We talked about work, businesses, exams, then relationships and marriage. Then one of my friends, let's call her T says that's she is taking a break from relationships, because she has suddenly realized that she doesn't want children. And she proceeded to list reasons why. There was silence for a while. Then another of my friends let's call her H then says something that ticks me off. 'You probably feel like that now, but you will change your mind once you're older'. Another friend G chimes in and says that T only feels that way because she just finished paediatrics posting and it can be traumatising, that she'll get over it.

I reply and say that there's nothing wrong with a woman choosing to remain childless. This leads to an argument, but we settle it sha.

The other one was an older lady who came to my office for a consultation after diagnosing and giving drugs as she was my last patient. We got talking and I asked her if she was lonely being alone. She says that yes it is at times, but when she sees most of her married friends being in one form of misery or the other, she feels that she doesn't regret it. She said she couldn't sustain long term relationships due to her dysfunctional upbringing. I then ask her about adopting and she says she doesn't want children, she cannot stand them. She then tells me that not everyone is supposed to be a parent and i agree.

She then tells me that i am the first person who she talked to about this issue and didn't try to judge her, try to convince her to change her mind, dissmiss her or shame her

This got me thinking that some people, especially women due to choice or circumstances have no children. But nigerians in general seem to ostracize them.


This is a recurring theme that I keep seeing. One would think that men are the ones who judge, but no, women do it the most.


So my question is this, why do people feel uncomfortable with the fact that some people cannot or choose not to have children?

It doesn't make sense.

Please share your views on this topic. No bashing please. Happy Sunday.

We're in a society where people's choice of partners is considered the government's business, even with a jail term attached. People's religious ideologies and how they choose to live their lives generally, can end in a death sentence (rahama sadau et al).

So we're basically in a country where nobody minds their business, everybody feels they have a right to judge other adult's decisions. And women come at the very bottom of this ladder,(children, queer& disabled folks are on the last rungs anyway) so of course, a woman choosing to not put her body, through the rigours and harrowing experience of childbirth, is naturally everybody's business.

Heck, abortion is still illegal, child illiteracy, child trafficking, child poverty, child abuse, child negligence and every conceivable vice that can be perpetuated against children is rife here. But women choosing not to have kids are the "abomination".

This conversation is beyond most people here on nairaland, as it's a reflection of our society at large.

BadBitch:


We're in a society where people's choice of partners is considered the government's business, even with a jail term attached. People's religious ideologies and how they choose to live their lives generally, can end in a death sentence (rahama sadau et al).

So we're basically in a country where nobody minds their business, everybody feels they have a right to judge other adult's decisions. And women come at the very bottom of this ladder,(children, queer& disabled folks are on the last rungs anyway) so of course, a woman choosing to not put her body, through the rigours and harrowing experience of childbirth, is naturally everybody's business.

Heck, abortion is still illegal, child illiteracy, child trafficking, child poverty, child abuse, child negligence and every conceivable vice that can be perpetuated against children is rife here. But women choosing not to have kids are the "abomination".

This conversation is beyond most people here on nairaland, as it's a reflection of our society at large.

You have said it all.
Thank you!

DrFunmisticGlow:
I have been noticing this trend for a while. I don't have a lot of examples to quote from but i have a few.

The first was at a get-together with some good female friends and we were talking. We talked about work, businesses, exams, then relationships and marriage. Then one of my friends, let's call her T says that's she is taking a break from relationships, because she has suddenly realized that she doesn't want children. And she proceeded to list reasons why. There was silence for a while. Then another of my friends let's call her H then says something that ticks me off. 'You probably feel like that now, but you will change your mind once you're older'. Another friend G chimes in and says that T only feels that way because she just finished paediatrics posting and it can be traumatising, that she'll get over it.

I reply and say that there's nothing wrong with a woman choosing to remain childless. This leads to an argument, but we settle it sha.

The other one was an older lady who came to my office for a consultation after diagnosing and giving drugs as she was my last patient. We got talking and I asked her if she was lonely being alone. She says that yes it is at times, but when she sees most of her married friends being in one form of misery or the other, she feels that she doesn't regret it. She said she couldn't sustain long term relationships due to her dysfunctional upbringing. I then ask her about adopting and she says she doesn't want children, she cannot stand them. She then tells me that not everyone is supposed to be a parent and i agree.

She then tells me that i am the first person who she talked to about this issue and didn't try to judge her, try to convince her to change her mind, dissmiss her or shame her

This got me thinking that some people, especially women due to choice or circumstances have no children. But nigerians in general seem to ostracize them.


This is a recurring theme that I keep seeing. One would think that men are the ones who judge, but no, women do it the most.


So my question is this, why do people feel uncomfortable with the fact that some people cannot or choose not to have children?

It doesn't make sense.

Please share your views on this topic. No bashing please. Happy Sunday.

Our society has come to regard having children as the standard thing for a mature woman to do.

It's the same way everyone pesters you to get married and generally sticks their noses in your business

Everything is not about children, is it not those born throway children in the north that is fueling the Boko Haram foot soilders