I have been noticing this trend for a while. I don't have a lot of examples to quote from but i have a few.

The first was at a get-together with some good female friends and we were talking. We talked about work, businesses, exams, then relationships and marriage. Then one of my friends, let's call her T says that's she is taking a break from relationships, because she has suddenly realized that she doesn't want children. And she proceeded to list reasons why. There was silence for a while. Then another of my friends let's call her H then says something that ticks me off. 'You probably feel like that now, but you will change your mind once you're older'. Another friend G chimes in and says that T only feels that way because she just finished paediatrics posting and it can be traumatising, that she'll get over it.

I reply and say that there's nothing wrong with a woman choosing to remain childless. This leads to an argument, but we settle it sha.

The other one was an older lady who came to my office for a consultation after diagnosing and giving drugs as she was my last patient. We got talking and I asked her if she was lonely being alone. She says that yes it is at times, but when she sees most of her married friends being in one form of misery or the other, she feels that she doesn't regret it. She said she couldn't sustain long term relationships due to her dysfunctional upbringing. I then ask her about adopting and she says she doesn't want children, she cannot stand them. She then tells me that not everyone is supposed to be a parent and i agree.

She then tells me that i am the first person who she talked to about this issue and didn't try to judge her, try to convince her to change her mind, dissmiss her or shame her

This got me thinking that some people, especially women due to choice or circumstances have no children. But nigerians in general seem to ostracize them.


This is a recurring theme that I keep seeing. One would think that men are the ones who judge, but no, women do it the most.


So my question is this, why do people feel uncomfortable with the fact that some people cannot or choose not to have children?

It doesn't make sense.

Please share your views on this topic. No bashing please. Happy Sunday.

DM no for this

Wonders shall never end

So women actually ‘choose’ to be childless these days?

When no be reverend sister wey wan go convent??

It's not compulsory to have children. Better you do not have than to have some idiot ones.

lilkech:
Wonders shall never end

So women actually ‘choose’ to be childless these days?

When no be reverend sister wey wan go convent??

Yes

But it is not our place to judge

DrFunmisticGlow:
Yes

But it is not our place to judge

TAAA!

Check that woman out very well, you’d find out that she either ignorantly flushed her womb While younger or she had a first birth via C-S and is scared of having another.

Even a career can’t subdue a females urge to breastfeed her young.

Even holy Mary gave birth

longetivity:
Even holy Mary gave birth

abi

DrFunmisticGlow:
I have been noticing this trend for a while. I don't have a lot of examples to quote from but i have a few.

The first was at a get-together with some good female friends and we were talking. We talked about work, businesses, exams, then relationships and marriage. Then one of my friends, let's call her T says that's she is taking a break from relationships, because she has suddenly realized that she doesn't want children. And she proceeded to list reasons why. There was silence for a while. Then another of my friends let's call her H then says something that ticks me off. 'You probably feel like that now, but you will change your mind once you're older'. Another friend G chimes in and says that[b] T only feels that way because she just finished paediatrics posting[/b] and it can be traumatising, that she'll get over it.

I reply and say that there's nothing wrong with a woman choosing to remain childless. This leads to an argument, but we settle it sha.

The other one was a[b]n older lady [/b] who came to my office for a consultation after diagnosing and giving drugs as she was my last patient. We got talking and[b] I asked her if she was lonely being alone. She says that yes it is at times, but when she sees most of her married friends being in one form of misery or the other, she feels that she doesn't regret it. She said she couldn't sustain long term relationships due to her dysfunctional upbringing. I then ask her about adopting and she says she doesn't want children, she cannot stand them. She then tells me that not everyone is supposed to be a parent and i agree.

She then tells me that i am the first person who she talked to about this issue and didn't try to judge her, try to convince her to change her mind, dissmiss her or shame her

This got me thinking that some people, especially women due to choice or circumstances have no children. But nigerians in general seem to ostracize them.


This is a recurring theme that I keep seeing. One would think that men are the ones who judge, but no, women do it the most.


So my question is this, why do people feel uncomfortable with the fact that some people cannot or choose not to have children?

It doesn't make sense.

Please share your views on this topic. No bashing please. Happy Sunday.

you did not stage T reasons for her decisions!

but for the other one her trauma is from her upbringing(she herself has not gotten over the word disfunctional).Reasearch has it that children from disfunctional homes are drug addicts ,into crime etc but here we are she made it however she has robbed herself of one precious thing a child.She should have compared herself with Mrs Okonjo Iweala and her set.
Women who nothing wrong with them should not allow devil lie to them about been childless because God forbid if they go for x-ray and the results shows they are wombless or they are barren.
Hian!
Their excuses of work,career and gbo gbo ti gba will leave this Earth to Pluto and leave them to face better war!

Upon the mistake of eve_she gave birth

Sarah as she old reach_ she gave birth


Holy Mary as she holy pass all the women for this world_she gave birth.


my advice find a man and knack am well,well_ you too give birth

lilkech:



TAAA!

Check that woman out very well, you’d find out that she either ignorantly flushed her womb While younger or she had a first birth via C-S and is scared of having another.

Even a career can’t subdue a females urge to breastfeed her young.

there's no such thing. Not everyone has that motherhood instinct.

I've delivered many children into this world and a lot of mothers have no idea what to do with the child once they see it. Postpartum depression is real

DrFunmisticGlow:
there's no such thing.

I've delivered many children into this world and a lot of mothers have no idea what to do with the child once they see it.

Someone not knowing how to raise a kid wouldn’t stop that person from actually wanting one in the first place.

The same reason why some women hate people who want children.

no be by force oo

Many Nigerians still have a long way to go when it comes to not judging others for their decisions and actually minding their own business.

[quote author=DrFunmisticGlow post=93873384] People should learn to develop a thick skin and Bleep what others think, all the reasons people procreate for are selfish, have kids if you want and don't if you don't want to, personally when I see people having kids in the name of preserving their family name and genes, I see stupid people chasing the wind, humanity will surely go extinct in time and this stupid mistake called life will come to an end.

Some people will always be different but in truth, most women who make such decisions have medical or psychological problems which they can't disclose to others so they hide under liberated and not wanting kids.
Just like an impotent man is more likely to claim to not care about women or marriage, that's if he's heterosexual.

zed7:
Some people will always be different but in truth, most women who make such decisions have medical or psychological problems which they can't disclose to others so they hide under liberated and not wanting kids.
Juat like an impotent man is more likely to claim to not care about women or marriage, that's if he's heterosexual.

you get am !

abeg i need such woman to marry

It's all ok, I mean, whether you chose to avoid parenthood or circumstances forced it on you, it's all good.
Now, it's also ok for people to second guess your situation, because at the end of the day, if you stick to your choice, then you have made the right choice for yourself, however, if you change your mind, then they just saved you from an old age full of regrets!

DrFunmisticGlow:
I have been noticing this trend for a while. I don't have a lot of examples to quote from but i have a few.

The first was at a get-together with some good female friends and we were talking. We talked about work, businesses, exams, then relationships and marriage. Then one of my friends, let's call her T says that's she is taking a break from relationships, because she has suddenly realized that she doesn't want children. And she proceeded to list reasons why. There was silence for a while. Then another of my friends let's call her H then says something that ticks me off. 'You probably feel like that now, but you will change your mind once you're older'. Another friend G chimes in and says that T only feels that way because she just finished paediatrics posting and it can be traumatising, that she'll get over it.

I reply and say that there's nothing wrong with a woman choosing to remain childless. This leads to an argument, but we settle it sha.

The other one was an older lady who came to my office for a consultation after diagnosing and giving drugs as she was my last patient. We got talking and I asked her if she was lonely being alone. She says that yes it is at times, but when she sees most of her married friends being in one form of misery or the other, she feels that she doesn't regret it. She said she couldn't sustain long term relationships due to her dysfunctional upbringing. I then ask her about adopting and she says she doesn't want children, she cannot stand them. She then tells me that not everyone is supposed to be a parent and i agree.

She then tells me that i am the first person who she talked to about this issue and didn't try to judge her, try to convince her to change her mind, dissmiss her or shame her

This got me thinking that some people, especially women due to choice or circumstances have no children. But nigerians in general seem to ostracize them.


This is a recurring theme that I keep seeing. One would think that men are the ones who judge, but no, women do it the most.


So my question is this, why do people feel uncomfortable with the fact that some people cannot or choose not to have children?

It doesn't make sense.

Please share your views on this topic. No bashing please. Happy Sunday.

Children aren’t a gift or blessing.... they’re wages of hard labor...not everyone’s wants hard labor.

Saintmary:
It's all ok, I mean, whether you chose to avoid parenthood or circumstances forced it on you, it's all good.
Now, it's also ok for people to second guess your situation, because at the end of the day, if you stick to your choice, then you have made the right choice for yourself, however, if you change your mind, then they just saved you from an old age full of regrets!

Old age full of regrets? ,What’s that about?

BigSarah:


Old age full of regrets? ,What’s that about?

Please read again, I can't type too much today abeg.
Coulda woulda shoulda is a form of regret.

Saintmary:

Please read again, I can't type too much today abeg.
Coulda woulda shoulda is a form of regret.

But not all women that go down that line lack foresight.

BigSarah:
Children aren’t a gift or blessing.... they’re wages of hard labor...not everyone’s wants hard labor.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Saintmary:
It's all ok, I mean, whether you chose to avoid parenthood or circumstances forced it on you, it's all good.
Now, it's also ok for people to second guess your situation, because at the end of the day, if you stick to your choice, then you have made the right choice for yourself, however, if you change your mind, then they just saved you from an old age full of regrets!

i don't buy into the ideology of using children as a pension plan or as backup caretaker. It's a bad investment, especially with the way the country is. The money used to train a child can be used to plan throughly for retirement.

BigSarah:


Old age full of regrets? ,What’s that about?

i tire o. The happiest people i see around are those without children

luscioustrish:
Many Nigerians still have a long way to go when it comes to not judging others for their decisions and actually minding their own business.

Gbam!!

lilkech:


Someone not knowing how to raise a kid wouldn’t stop that person from actually wanting one in the first place.

Then you begin to wonder why there are so many degenerates today.

BigSarah:

But not all women that go down that line lack foresight.

Hey Dumbsarah

DrFunmisticGlow:
i don't buy into the ideology of using children as a pension plan or as backup caretaker. It's a bad investment, especially with the way the country is. The money used to train a child can be used to plan throughly for retirement.

I'm sure I didn't mention caretaking, pension plans or economic relevance of parenting in my post.
Let's not get ahead of ourselves here

DrFunmisticGlow:
Then you begin to wonder why there are so many degenerates today.

It is what it is ... nature can’t be tamed.

That’s why when you have kids you got a duty to do right by them. An individual’s upbringing affects his/her future in a good or bad way.

That a woman doesn’t want kids at a particular moment (be her old or young) doesn’t mean she didn’t/won’t want one at one time or another in her life.

I believe getting married is a choice but bearing offspring is natural.

it's not by force to have kids. It's not just women that are no longer interested in having kids, some men too.

One of the reasons most people have kids is to serve as a caretaker or back up plan when old age comes and like the OP said, funds spent on raising kids if well invested is enough to handle one's retirement plan. Besides when one is old, are there not homes for the aged or are we sure some of us will age to the extent of needing a caretaker. Only God knows.