Vyzz:
I don't know why u torment your self....


Those your dad knows that u are positive...


Calm down HIV isn't a death sentence....

GboyegaD:
One of the things I can advice is that you stay positive. Your HIV status is no longer news to you and the good side is that there are drugs to manage it. Be true to yourself, open up to your dad and seek the help of a counselor or psychologist.

Hopefulone:

Yes, he recently got to know

Hopefulone:


Thank you so much. Please do you know of any I can speak to? I'd be glad

DontBullshitMe:
Your gender is even unknown.

Hopefulone:
Hello everyone. I’m sorry this is a bit lengthy. I need urgent help and I hope you read through.

I’m a student in one of the universities in the south-west. Ever since I came back home since the corona virus thing started, I cannot point to one single thing that I have achieved in my life. Late last year, I got to know about my HIV-positive status. I am not a loose person at all, my only mistake was trusting a friend. I won’t lie, the whole thing affected me. When I wasn’t drinking, I was sleeping. It was really hard for me to deal with what everything that was going on. Before I knew it, I would have flashes of mixing bleach or sniper with a drink and killing myself. Whenever I was in a bus going somewhere, I created different scenarios of an accident happening that would lead to my death. I started cutting myself at some point because I could not feel anything. I don’t know how to explain the whole thing in detail. I just generally felt like I was floating through life.

The corona ish has made everything worse. Since March that I have been at home, I have cut off friends and just distanced myself from people. I stay with my dad alone and even though we have a relatively good relationship, I can’t bring myself to share stuff with him. Once, he noticed a cut on my wrist and I explained it away as an accident. I have lost faith in people and my dad is the only reason why I haven’t found the strength to end it all. I feel like I am slowly drifting away. I am unable to sleep at nights, I have issues with recollecting things or events and I have a persistent headache that never goes away. I know there is something wrong with me but I don’t know what it is. I hope that someone can know someone or something that can take me out of this very dark place.

It took a whole lot of strength for me to type this. Please, I beg you in the name of God, go easy on me with the insults. I had to create a new account because of the sensitivity of this post.

Vyzz:
I don't know why u torment your self....


Those your dad knows that u are positive...


Calm down HIV isn't a death sentence....

Hopefulone:


Thank you so much. Please do you know of any I can speak to? I'd be glad

Noloss:
Have you tried Jesus? Matt 11:28

says come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden and He'll give you rest.
Don't give up on yourself, there's light at the end of tunnels.

Confess your sins unto him and invite him to take charge of your situation. You'll have instantaneous peace and He'll direct your way.

HarunaWest:

You have to understand that all die na die... So don't get scared of death.. Just last weekend, we buried my friends mum.. Hale, young and hearty.. She just slept and didn't wake up..
Life is meant to be enjoyed not suffered. Clear your head.. School resumes soon..Track your health progress, when it's time for ARV, you commence treatment. The number of people with HIV in naija is shocking... Visit any heart to heart center then you wud understand...... One quick question?
What steps did you take against the chick that infected you?

GboyegaD:


You may want to approach the teaching hospital in your state for a start. Make friends and live life again.

I read some of your post and it seems you really need all the support you can get. My advise, should school resume before you get yourself together, please take the semester of so as not to complicate things.

dahmie2013:
I don't know your faith, but if you are a Christian, please read books, especially godly ones. This will help transform and renew your mind.

God heals people from HIV. Don't accept it as your status, fight & defeat that nonsense.

Mindlog:
Cutting of self, kind of create a sense of having control over emotional pain for some people who are living with some forms of mental health issues though it is self-harming but makes them "feel good" for the meantime as it makes them feel numbed to their emotional pain. Cutting of self is an indication of an underlying mental health issue and an unhealthy coping skill.

OP, I will encourage you to share what you are going through with your father though he may not be understanding but you need his support.

You need to see a psychotherapist and from your first session, if there is an indication of clinical depression then there is need for referral to a psychiatrist who would diagnose and prescribe medication. Whether there is need for medication or not, make sure you are engaged in talk therapy sessions.

Please make sure you on antiretroviral medication and highly adhere to it