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What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by fatosky1(m): 2:49pm On Sep 14
Trumptweet:
Please help me. I am in medical school. My cousin and his wife (both living in USA) introduced a girl to me. They want me to come over.

From my understanding the two families are friends.

According to my cousin, "she is a good girl from a good family "

I have already started chatting with her, she seems cool, apparently.

But I need unbiased views from those with experience please.

Put yourself in my position and advise me.

she's 27. She is doing her masters .im 29, finishing next yr.


Thank you.
Firstly, you were raised & grow in different clime & the difference will obviously be there once you come together as a couple.

Western civilization & cultural difference adaptation is a key factor to look closely at. This will depend on your tolerance ability.

You can continue with your long distance dating & start chipping in some of this your fears into your discussion & watch & listen to her reactions.

The family background & training received at home should be gauged as well if it meet a family oriented lady.

Above all, pray for God's guidance & leading to be able to get the best out of your decision.

1 Like

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by ransomed: 2:49pm On Sep 14
If you look at the advantages be very careful of someone you date on internet. She might be someone else's baby mama, she has been trained in American way of gun is might and being a citizen, police will always protect her from you.
Avoid story that touches the heart as most African American ladies behave like wildcats (akata) . Be ready to be a baby seater, do the dishes, cook your meals, do the laundry and allow her do whatever she wants ,including the tendencies to prevent your mother from coming to America for ' omugo' , not speaking Nigeria language when talking to female family members back home.
It is your choice, I pray God will guide and guard you to choose wisely.

7 Likes

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by Cmanforall: 2:50pm On Sep 14
Trumptweet:
Please help me. I am in medical school. My cousin and his wife (both living in USA) introduced a girl to me. They want me to come over.

From my understanding the two families are friends.

According to my cousin, "she is a good girl from a good family "

I have already started chatting with her, she seems cool, apparently.

But I need unbiased views from those with experience please.

Put yourself in my position and advise me.

she's 27. She is doing her masters .im 29, finishing next yr.


Thank you.
First things first.

Are you in any relationship in Nigeria?

Do you want to move to the US?

If you answer all that...
And your desire is to move to the States, note that as a medical doctor, you don't need a woman-link to take you there. You can migrate by yourself.

If you are in a relationship with a lady in Nigeria and both of you are in love, plan with her and you can move out of the country after your graduation.

4 Likes

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by Dentmoyin(m): 2:50pm On Sep 14
not a good idea, that babe is too advanced in age, down syndrome and other related congenital anomalies is staring at her....

1 Like 1 Share

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by karnap(m): 2:50pm On Sep 14
they don't have Nigerian morals of been a remousful wife, ask the man who introduced her to you if he married from abroad or he married here before they traveled to abroad,such girls get angry over everything and they will always feels like controlling everything,they love to call police and you know what is that means,I'm not discouraging you but,marry a Nigerian girl and go abroad instead of married Nigerian Americans who born and brought up there with all those sense of fragile attitude towards marriage,they always believed things go in their favour in court.

2 Likes

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by Helen4178: 2:50pm On Sep 14
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Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by Therawclips: 2:50pm On Sep 14
Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by InvertedHammer: 2:51pm On Sep 14
/
So in this day and age, you are expecting someone else to pick a wife for you. Marriage is not friendship. The sad part is marrying her and moving to US only to realize that you could have done better. The resentment alone will break the marriage.
/

6 Likes

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by obowunmi(m): 2:51pm On Sep 14
Trumptweet:
Please help me. I am in medical school. My cousin and his wife (both living in USA) introduced a girl to me. They want me to come over.

From my understanding the two families are friends.

According to my cousin, "she is a good girl from a good family "

I have already started chatting with her, she seems cool, apparently.

But I need unbiased views from those with experience please.

Put yourself in my position and advise me.

she's 27. She is doing her masters .im 29, finishing next yr.


Thank you.


If you like her, marry her.

3 Likes

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by flyingpig: 2:51pm On Sep 14
Trumptweet:
Please help me. I am in medical school. My cousin and his wife (both living in USA) introduced a girl to me. They want me to come over.

From my understanding the two families are friends.

According to my cousin, "she is a good girl from a good family "

I have already started chatting with her, she seems cool, apparently.

But I need unbiased views from those with experience please.

Put yourself in my position and advise me.

she's 27. She is doing her masters .im 29, finishing next yr.


Thank you.
See citizenship waiting for you and you're trying to throw it away. Just know you must be cooking, hardly will a girl in USA let you make her the chef in a family house. That's the major one.

Crispels

4 Likes

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by LaEvilIMiss(f): 2:52pm On Sep 14
1: From my understanding the two families are friends.
2: According to my cousin, "she is a good girl from a good family "
3: I have already started chatting with her, she seems cool, apparently.
4: she's 27. She is doing her masters .im 29, finishing next yr.

My response since I have been married for 8 years to an American-born Nigerian from Wisconsin grin (He loves his roots)

1: Family friends can give you an idea about the upbringing afforded your potential partner growing up but that is as far as it goes, It can be influential in character-building but it does not tell you exactly who that person really is when no one is watching. If you can and if you have friends who know her at a different level, then ask their opinion - usually from a fellow girl and not another guy (guys use their heart but girls are cold and will tell you the bitter truth even if they are just jealous)

2: "She is a good girl from a good family" is your cousin a guy or girl? how long has she/he known her and under what conditions? did they live together, go to school together or are in the same fraternity or workplace. Such information is useful but you need to have specific example of (for instance) if they have been through a personal crisis and how they managed it, how they deal with other people's feelings etc

3: "I have already started chatting with her, she seems cool, apparently. " that is actually a good move but always note this one fact of social-conditioning, nearly everyone will show you their best foot on social media. until you have had a chance to start dating and getting to know each other, there is no telling whether she is NICE APPARENTLY or she is just putting up her nice side. also understand that you must have your STANDARDS and a threshold of what you will accept from another fellow human-being. The true character of a human being is demonstrated in a moment of weakness or an opportunity to show humility. This is because Strength and Pride are only mastered by humble people.

4: She is 27. aaaaargh! shocked while "Age is just a number" by American Standards, she is getting married pretty LATE.. but that is not exactly a bad thing seeing that you are Nigerian and people get married at 40-50-60 and as long as their is love in the marriage, the rest is just hater-gossip. The reason why I am bringing this up is that there are several Socioeconomic factors working against/for you the older you get in America as a female. There are some job roles that become hard to get or be considered for (actor, business executive, marketer etc) and there are sum that you will fit into perfectly (Nursing, Caregiver, Restaurant-owner etc) A masters is a good achievement for both of you at that age bracket which means you can also get higher-up the career-ladder faster if your performance matches your credentials.

In summary, Pray for wisdom and get to know her better (physically) and don't make any commitments you will regret later - also understand how the American System works in favor for or against Successful Black Women.

Good luck

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by Areaboyfriend(m): 2:53pm On Sep 14
You are a medical student, graduating next year.
Please do well to begin your USMLE journey before moving there.

3 Likes

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by karnap(m): 2:53pm On Sep 14
ransomed:
If you look at the advantages be very careful of someone you date on internet. She might be someone else's baby mama, she has been trained in American way of gun is might and being a citizen, police will always protect her from you.
Avoid story that touches the heart as most African American ladies behave like wildcats (akata) . Be ready to be a baby seater, do the dishes, cook your meals, do the laundry and allow her do whatever she wants ,including the tendencies to prevent your mother from coming to America for ' omugo' , not speaking Nigeria language when talking to female family members back home.
It is your choice, I pray God will guide and guard you to choose wisely.
this is enough for him.
Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by Wijam: 2:54pm On Sep 14
See this guy o, you dey reason am? As u said you have been talking with her and I believe you guys have gotten along. Baba arrange Visa and leave this country, when you get there no rush to marry, study her and be sure you want to if it's cool then marry the Doc and live happily ever after having your children as American citizens and getting exposed to the good life...leave this country o I de tell you again run leave this country. Then as you go, arrange Doctor for me too��

1 Like

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by madjune: 2:54pm On Sep 14
A Nigerian girl born in US ma akata.

She may hold that pass for you to achieve more etc but your values may not be the same.
Akata values are different from ours.

As you're saving to build a house, she's thinking of spending that money on holiday trips.

Check yourself.

8 Likes

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by Grateful02(m): 2:56pm On Sep 14
Nothing bad been a feminist. we are in a non-static world sir.
thebosstrevor1:
Advantage

You might end up getting citizenship
She Will be the mother of your kids
She might be very feminine if she has not been brainwashed by feminist ideologies and gender studies.
She will support and help you if she understands her role
She will be educated and might have a well balanced world view.

Disadvantage

She might Be a Feminist
She might emasculate you, if you dont earn well
She might end up driving you out of the home if you guys have trouble.
You might become homeless
Cultural shock of what relationships and marriage is supposed to be like

A good woman will be a good woman no matter the area.

4 Likes

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by karnap(m): 2:57pm On Sep 14
LaEvilIMiss:


My response since I have been married for 8 years to an American-born Nigerian from Wisconsin

1: Family friends can give you an idea about the upbringing afforded your potential partner growing up but that is as far as it goes, It can be influential in character-building but it does not tell you exactly who that person really is when no one is watching. If you can and if you have friends who know her at a different level, then ask their opinion - usually from a fellow girl and not another guy (guys use their heart but girls are cold and will tell you the bitter truth even if they are just jealous)

2: "She is a good girl from a good family" is your cousin a guy or girl? how long has she/he known her and under what conditions? did they live together, go to school together or are in the same fraternity or workplace. Such information is useful but you need to have specific example of (for instance) if they have been through a personal crisis and how they managed it, how they deal with other people's feelings etc

3: "I have already started chatting with her, she seems cool, apparently. " that is actually a good move but always note this one fact of social-conditioning, nearly everyone will show you their best foot on social media. until you have had a chance to start dating and getting to know each other, there is no telling whether she is NICE APPARENTLY or she is just putting up her nice side. also understand that you must have your STANDARDS and a threshold of what you will accept from another fellow human-being. The true character of a human being is demonstrated in a moment of weakness or an opportunity to show humility. This is because Strength and Pride are only mastered by humble people.

4: She is 27. aaaaargh! shocked while "Age is just a number" by American Standards, she is getting married pretty LATE.. but that is not exactly a bad thing seeing that you are Nigerian and people get married at 40-50-60 and as long as their is love in the marriage, the rest is just hater-gossip. The reason why I am bringing this up is that there are several Socioeconomic factors working against/for you the older you get in America as a female. There are some job roles that become hard to get or be considered for (actor, business executive, marketer etc) and there are sum that you will fit into perfectly (Nursing, Caregiver, Restaurant-owner etc) A masters is a good achievement for both of you at that age bracket which means you can also get higher-up the career-ladder faster if your performance matches your credentials.

In summary, Pray for wisdom and get to know her better (physically) and don't make any commitments you will regret later - also understand how the American System works in favor for or against Successful Black Women.

Good luck
that good family the man is talking about is maybe the man sold land for that his brother in Nigeria here that's why he automatically term the family good.
Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by Chii59(f): 3:02pm On Sep 14
See the mindset of some men.
"Marry here in Nigeria"
"She should come to Nigeria to stay"
Gosh, if you think like this, avoid me.

12 Likes

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by Bernice4ozodo(f): 3:02pm On Sep 14
Mindlog:


Wife her in Nigeria, as in after the wedding she stays in Nigeria permanently? Will living in Nigeria make her lose her American citizenship and the protection it confers?
if this was done to you or your sister how would you feel....

1 Like

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by Deepthoughts: 3:03pm On Sep 14
Trumptweet:
Please help me. I am in medical school. My cousin and his wife (both living in USA) introduced a girl to me. They want me to come over.

From my understanding the two families are friends.

According to my cousin, "she is a good girl from a good family "

I have already started chatting with her, she seems cool, apparently.

But I need unbiased views from those with experience please.

Put yourself in my position and advise me.

she's 27. She is doing her masters .im 29, finishing next yr.


Thank you.
If I were you this is what I will do, during chatting,put some questions that the answers defines the mentality n personality of your ideal partner,weigh her responses against your view if she scored 70% n above then you can begin to think of her seriously,ask there questions like,what should be the place of a woman in marriage?,does she believe in gender equality explain?,how should spouses manage their finances in relation to the family?,what is religion to her?,does she accept that religious injuctions supercedes personal social or cultural views?etc.

4 Likes 2 Shares

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by AfroKnight: 3:03pm On Sep 14
So family members still do this matchmaking sh!t. Woman na woman. Different cultures, different languages, but same gender bro. Remember that.


I read somewhere that arranged marriages work better. Just be honest with her.
Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by bayusman: 3:04pm On Sep 14
Go for her if you like her if it doesn't work out. Walk out..

I hope you see this
Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by degelinglacis: 3:04pm On Sep 14
gaius01:


Sir with all due respect, marrying such lady is not a problem if only She can come to Nigeria to marry and stay, but you going up there that implies you will be short to some right as a man. This lady is OK financial and educationally and marrying her you can't control anything about her. Beside she woñt have the moral an average Nigeria girls .
Must you control people? Why would you want to control a fellow human like you?
The way you reason shows you would want your wife to be beneath you. God forbid she becomes more successful than you are, you'll make her life a living hell.

At Op, you should be concerned about if you guys are compatible or not. You can decide not to do NYSC and start your life over there.
Just be honest with the lady, let her know the reality and I am sure would be honest with you as well.

8 Likes

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by OBku4(m): 3:04pm On Sep 14
thebosstrevor1:
Advantage

You might end up getting citizenship
She Will be the mother of your kids
She might be very feminine if she has not been brainwashed by feminist ideologies and gender studies.
She will support and help you if she understands her role
She will be educated and might have a well balanced world view.

Disadvantage

She might Be a Feminist
She might emasculate you, if you dont earn well
She might end up driving you out of the home if you guys have trouble.
You might become homeless
Cultural shock of what relationships and marriage is supposed to be like

A good woman will be a good woman no matter the area.
I agree with d other points but the bolded.

For me, US citizenship is equal to mordern day slavery.
where u work and the taxman takes up to half your wages for the rest of your working life (no matter where you reside in the world)

remember d adage, "suffering n smiling" ...here is one depiction

2 Likes

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by KingAzari: 3:04pm On Sep 14
I dated one and she was a pure joy, independent, respectful, resourceful and helpful. But them no dey take bullsh!t ooo.

8 Likes

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by Bernice4ozodo(f): 3:05pm On Sep 14
Chii59:
See the mindset of some men.
"Marry here in Nigeria"
"She should come to Nigeria to stay"
Gosh, if you think like this, avoid me.
some pples mind are backward and wicked

5 Likes

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by lxvi8xii(m): 3:06pm On Sep 14
Op marry your level, if she is too much for you find your size or upgrade above her standards. Don't go and marry a woman that her parents has moulded and invested to be the best she can be and you want to suppress her.

You sound like you are already intimidated. Abeg leave the lady and find your level.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by pansophist(m): 3:06pm On Sep 14
1. Make sure she chooses you. Arranged marriage works well when the lady in particular finds the man attractive and naturally wants to be with him. Men generally can be with a woman that they do not love, especially if she is a good person, I can not say the same for women. So I repeat, make sure that she chooses you and truly want to be with you. By choosing you, I do not necessarily mean meeting you herself and not through arrangement (that is just a vehicle to meet each other), but that she finds you attractive, adorable, and respectable.

2. Do not go have a relationship with her because of the prospect of green card. You NEED to find her as a good partner genuinely. and the prospect of living in the US will just be an addition, to make your marital life prosperous.

3. Be conscious of the power dynamic in your relationship. Traditionally, it is the woman that integrates into the lifestyle of a man, not otherwise. She is the one adopting your surname, moving to you, being impregnated by you, and submitting (not to be understood as tyranny/subordination) to you. Make sure you have something going for yourself, and green-card is not something that will be that attractive, or at least have self-respect to not make it influence such a lifelong decision. Moving to live with her in the US, getting your papers through her, being economically handicapped while she simultaneously assume the role of the torch bearer is not a recipe for a good start. Only truly good women will take that role and not look down on you. You know her better, so don't take this as an express advice.

4. Most importantly, make sure she is not settling for, but chooses you out of all her options. A question I would ask myself would be why she can not find a man in the US, a country with a population of about x2 of Nigeria. Why go through the stress of long distance relationship with you and considering marriage when she haven't even met you? It is important you know that in every deregulated relationship (meaning a lady freely making romantic decisions without social/cultural pressure), it is the woman that chooses the man, not otherwise. You may argue that you asked her out firstly, but her acceptance is mere confirmation of having choosing you out of all her suitors. Your words/toasting skills didn't do the job, but the kind of man you have made yourself to be.

Tell her to consider the prospect of visiting you in Nigeria, and explore the possibility of living in Nigeria and lead your family life there, then in the nearest future, you may both move abroad when you are convinced about the kind of woman she is. Don't just uproot your life and move to her to the US, leaving you vulnerable and dependent on her, in a feminized society. personally I would never do that. After all, Nigeria is her country as well. I am advising you as someone that lives abroad, and have seen how lots of relationship crashed because of not having proper planning and jumping to marry anyone because of the chance to move abroad.

Be honest with yourself. If you want to marry her genuinely, pay attention to the above advice. But if you want to marry her to move abroad, I can guarantee you that she probably will be that smart to see your intention and rain hell on you, and it would be better you just remain in Nigeria and live your life peacefully, than be at the mercy of an estranged wife in a foreign, feminized society. Good luck.

36 Likes 7 Shares

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by Trumptweet: 3:06pm On Sep 14
madridsta007:


Never you marry her without knowing her character. Without a dating/ relationship period.
If she is too good to be true, then she is actually too good to be true.
There are many Uncles, AuntieUs, Pastors, Relatives, who have some daughter somewhere that they will prefer to get married to a Nigerian-trained man. Which is fine.
The problem is that these girls, liberal and Westernised, operate from a mindset that you will struggle to understand unless you’ve lived in the same environment like her. Sadly her cheerleaders will hide these things from you; when you marry the lady, you will be told to, “manage, this is what marriage is.”


This got me thinking. Thank you.
Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by Medunah(f): 3:07pm On Sep 14
gaius01:


Sir with all due respect, marrying such lady is not a problem if only She can come to Nigeria to marry and stay, but you going up there that implies you will be short to some right as a man. This lady is OK financial and educationally and marrying her you can't control anything about her. Beside she woñt have the moral an average Nigeria girls .
So if it is your sister, you will advice her to leave US to come stay in Nigeria permanently cos of marriage??

Black men will forever deny it that they don't feel threatened by a successful woman but just look at the comments here

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by Jupiter7: 3:08pm On Sep 14
OP let me give you a little piece of advice. Better get to know her very well before marrying her. If you don't do that, you will get the rude shock of your life. Cancel long distance dating, let her come back and live with you for a while.
Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by Incandescent(m): 3:08pm On Sep 14
I pray she sees this useless thread and declines your request.

Stupid, hungry & desperate Nigerian men

10 Likes 1 Share

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