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What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? - Romance (4) - Nairaland

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Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by King44(m): 3:09pm On Sep 14
Trumptweet:
Please help me. I am in medical school. My cousin and his wife (both living in USA) introduced a girl to me. They want me to come over.

From my understanding the two families are friends.

According to my cousin, "she is a good girl from a good family "

I have already started chatting with her, she seems cool, apparently.

But I need unbiased views from those with experience please.

Put yourself in my position and advise me.

she's 27. She is doing her masters .im 29, finishing next yr.


Thank you.
Have you ever conceived the idea of courting her both home and abroad. Character is like smoke it can't be hidden for too long.

It would also help you and her adjust well, a year courtship is best.

Live under one roof for a year home and away and see what you should be expecting when you get married to her.


Don't just jump into marriage with her so you won't come out in stitches.

2 Likes

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by appliedscience(m): 3:09pm On Sep 14
Apologies pls. But I think he age gap is too small for convinience, esply now that she is an abroad brought up....
I will advise take marriage off the table(cos if u dnt, she will kip playing the good girl card) ... Know her first... As a friend....

1 Like

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by lxvi8xii(m): 3:11pm On Sep 14
gaius01:


Sir with all due respect, marrying such lady is not a problem if only She can come to Nigeria to marry and stay, but you going up there that implies you will be short to some right as a man. This lady is OK financial and educationally and marrying her you can't control anything about her. Beside she woñt have the moral an average Nigeria girls .



Which one is morals Nigeria girls have? Morals abi pretense. You know that generally we are a very pretentious people that carry religion on our heads but threat our fellow human being badly.

2 Likes

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by Sterope(f): 3:12pm On Sep 14
Lmao. Clown!


gaius01:


Sir with all due respect, marrying such lady is not a problem if only She can come to Nigeria to marry and stay, but you going up there that implies you will be short to some right as a man. This lady is OK financial and educationally and marrying her you can't control anything about her. Beside she woñt have the moral an average Nigeria girls .
Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by AlfaSeltzer(m): 3:13pm On Sep 14
Must be an extremely ugly girl if you are the best she can do while living in US.

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by Mindlog: 3:13pm On Sep 14
Bernice4ozodo:
if this was done to you or your sister how would you feel....

I think you got it mixed up, the guy I quoted was implying that it is smarter to relocate the lady to Nigeria all in the name of marriage, so the OP would have an "upper hand" in the marriage
Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by Pebcak: 3:13pm On Sep 14
Lol bro they introduced woman to you, you just started chatting and now you don they think of marriage.
First this is you need to get to know her get the American born mentality out of your mind just like any girl you need to get to know her spiritual life, career goals, weigh her moral character but the will be tricky but ultimately pray about it
Secondly you ll need to factor immigration in as well get married in 9ja and file as spouse or she invite you on k1 but with Trump immigration I think all that process is all crazy now
Lastly your mbbs won't cut it in just yet in US, you need to get in the mind set of whenever you get here if you end up getting married you ll need to transition meaning you can't be a doctor just yet and that ll put pressure on you because as the man of the house you ll rely on your wife those early stages will definitely be challenging and that's why first point is very important

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by ziondaughter247: 3:13pm On Sep 14
See them, hungry nairaland men shouting 'marry her'. Lol, bunch of deluded people. If it was a female in Nigeria and male abroad, you would have opened your mouths to say 'don't marry the olosho', 'don't bring her over', blah blah blah. See them licking the feet of a woman because she's abroad. Mind you, the woman holds the knife here! Poster, does she even want to marry you? Don't delude yourself!

8 Likes

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by Sprumbaba: 3:13pm On Sep 14
Trumptweet:
Please help me. I am in medical school. My cousin and his wife (both living in USA) introduced a girl to me. They want me to come over.

From my understanding the two families are friends.

According to my cousin, "she is a good girl from a good family "

I have already started chatting with her, she seems cool, apparently.

But I need unbiased views from those with experience please.

Put yourself in my position and advise me.

she's 27. She is doing her masters .im 29, finishing next yr.


Thank you.

I have experiences.

PROS

They are not gold diggers like your Nigeria born ladies but this is dependent on the parents.

They appreciate affections and gifts and you do not need to buy them a range rover.

They believe in contributing to the upkeep of the home not like your Nigerian ladies that want you to shoulder the world.

CONS

You may have to teach her how to cook your favorite Nigerian foods

They can be opinionated

I will let the elders add their own.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by yemi1504: 3:15pm On Sep 14
Trumptweet:
Please help me. I am in medical school. My cousin and his wife (both living in USA) introduced a girl to me. They want me to come over.

From my understanding the two families are friends.

According to my cousin, "she is a good girl from a good family "

I have already started chatting with her, she seems cool, apparently.

But I need unbiased views from those with experience please.

Put yourself in my position and advise me.

she's 27. She is doing her masters .im 29, finishing next yr.


Thank you.

Marry her bro even though I am not a fan of Nigerian women. Once you get there, get a very good job so that even if there is a divorce, you are still well off financially. Nigeria is a mess currently, so take any opportunity to get out of this shithole! If you can't do it for you, do it for your unborn children and generations after, no children deserve to be brought up in this mess of a shithole country. I have said my piece. Congratulations bro, you just gave your self the better life, wish I were in your shoes bro.

1 Like

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by Nyceguy92: 3:16pm On Sep 14
What kind of wife are you looking for?
Do you think your cousin can reliably find a wife for you?

If the said lady is a citizen, you may become citizen by derivation. I guess this is the attraction for you. But are you ready to deal with the idiosyncrasies of a Nigerian girl born and bred in the U.S., especially if you are the traditional type?

You have not seen, /dated this lady so you can study her in person: her temperament, housekeeping abilities, etc.

I guess as a (medical) student, you have a few female friends that you have interacted with and who could make good wives.

My advice is to not commit to anything. Be friends only for now.
Most importantly, when you graduate and start practising , your sense of value of women and beauty will change. You will come across lots of really nice ones that you might blame yourself for making a hasty decision.

2 Likes

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by Elsueno: 3:17pm On Sep 14
Trumptweet:
Please help me. I am in medical school. My cousin and his wife (both living in USA) introduced a girl to me. They want me to come over.

From my understanding the two families are friends.

According to my cousin, "she is a good girl from a good family "

I have already started chatting with her, she seems cool, apparently.

But I need unbiased views from those with experience please.

Put yourself in my position and advise me.

she's 27. She is doing her masters .im 29, finishing next yr.


Thank you.

A good woman is a good woman irrespective of the environment she grew up from,. My uncle married abroad, his wife Na humility personified. She's cool, they have being married for over 15 years now. with no problems whatsoever( as far as I know)

1 Like

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by chatinent(m): 3:17pm On Sep 14
It's not about the place, it's about the girl in question.
Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by Trumptweet: 3:18pm On Sep 14
karnap:
they don't have Nigerian morals of been a remousful wife, ask the man who introduced her to you if he married from abroad or he married here before they traveled to abroad,such girls get angry over everything and they will always feels like controlling everything,they love to call police and you know what is that means,I'm not discouraging you but,marry a Nigerian girl and go abroad instead of married Nigerian Americans who born and brought up there with all those sense of fragile attitude towards marriage,they always believed things go in their favour in court.
He married his own wife there.
Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by yemi1504: 3:18pm On Sep 14
MT:


Look at the BIGGER picture. If you love her, you are about to give your generation unborn eternal opportunities. Forget about what people are saying that if you have to marry her, then she needs to come to Nigeria. Ask yourself, come to Nigeria to do what ? Leaving a world of opportunities for a world of misery.

Your education should prepare you to easily adapt to people of different cultures. It is beautiful to learn cultures of other people. Don't dwell on the NEGATIVES, dwell on the POSITIVES instead. Most people advising you here wont think twice to grab this opportunity. Your cousin and his wife have helped you, it is up to you now. My 2cents.





Abi o, tell him! The marriage is not even important or the koko but the better and life changing opportunities he will give himself and his unborn children. My 2 cents.
Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by AngelicBeing: 3:19pm On Sep 14
Rgade:
sad I have no experience with Nigerian ladies born in the US,so I will wait for the experienced ones to come in and share their ideas with us.
However I'm sure that due to the good nature of the economy over there and overall better quality of reasoning possessed by girls there over the ones here;
She won't be bothering you with urgent 2k requests every second.
Also she won't have birthdays that occur several times in a year.
Hian, Hahaha cheesy
Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by Trumptweet: 3:19pm On Sep 14
InvertedHammer:
/
So in this day and age, you are expecting someone else to pick a wife for you. Marriage is not friendship. The sad part is marrying her and moving to US only to realize that you could have done better. The resentment alone will break the marriage.
/
Hmm, thank you.
Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by kevotek1000(m): 3:19pm On Sep 14
muzeze77:
she is 27 and still single then she has no one to marry her in america , and it’s always for a reason. And your cousin said she is a good what did you expect? Were you expecting her to say she is bad

I love your wisdom
Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by nonut: 3:19pm On Sep 14
Date the lady for a year first.
Know everything about her and the country you want to marry in.
If you're still convinced she's okay, get a prenuptial agreement to avoid stories that touch.
You may feel you have little now, but who knows where you would be tomorrow?
Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by stonecoldcafe: 3:19pm On Sep 14
Trumptweet:
Please help me. I am in medical school. My cousin and his wife (both living in USA) introduced a girl to me. They want me to come over.

From my understanding the two families are friends.

According to my cousin, "she is a good girl from a good family "

I have already started chatting with her, she seems cool, apparently.

But I need unbiased views from those with experience please.

Put yourself in my position and advise me.

she's 27. She is doing her masters .im 29, finishing next yr.


Thank you.

There was a thread on Nigerians ladies born in America America verus those raised in Nigeria sometime ago. It was an insightful thread, try and find it
Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by dgreatthinker: 3:20pm On Sep 14
I reside in the US, in the Medical field, you need more than what guys are saying here to succeed. Plan properly and ask proper questions from your girl, and know what drives her. You need to know her takes on African culture, her redlines and have it in mind that you might not be able to practice as a medical doctor here (The probability is very low, but not impossible) Forget about the impression that women have sole prerogative to eject their spouse, the right is for both male and female. If she earns more than you, she might be the one paying you child support if the need arises. Contact me for more details. Wishing you the best

1 Like 1 Share

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by madridsta007(m): 3:20pm On Sep 14
Trumptweet:


This got me thinking. Thank you.
You are welcome.

I have been in the same situation before. Unfortunately for them, if I do not pray about a thing, I will rationalise my decision-making using logic. Never emotions.
Much later, the person that they were trying to sell to me got married and got divorced within a year or so.
As usual, it was down to bad character.
Use your head and think. Not your emotions.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by AngelicBeing: 3:20pm On Sep 14
Lexusgs430:



Ofori vs Barbara..... Read their story......
You are the wisest man on this thread grin

1 Like

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by bukatyne(f): 3:21pm On Sep 14
Funny thread!

See guys advising OP to marry a stranger because of 'life long opportunities.'

Greedy greedy grin

Like MrBrownJay would say:

Better know the rules of engagement and have a game plan.
Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by bukatyne(f): 3:23pm On Sep 14
yemi1504:


Abi o, tell him! The marriage is not even important or the koko but the better and life changing opportunities he will give himself and his unborn children. My 2 cents.

Imagine undecided
Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by yemi1504: 3:24pm On Sep 14
Bernice4ozodo:
some pples mind are backward and wicked

How are they backward and wicked when you Nigerian women are pretty horrible and can't do better?
Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by Ngozioma(m): 3:24pm On Sep 14
grin grin grin It will end in tears




What do I know
wink

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by mariahAngel: 3:25pm On Sep 14
stanliwise:
Now you like the average Nigeria girl grin grin

It shocked me too. grin

2 Likes

Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by Trumptweet: 3:25pm On Sep 14
LaEvilIMiss:


My response since I have been married for 8 years to an American-born Nigerian from Wisconsin

1: Family friends can give you an idea about the upbringing afforded your potential partner growing up but that is as far as it goes, It can be influential in character-building but it does not tell you exactly who that person really is when no one is watching. If you can and if you have friends who know her at a different level, then ask their opinion - usually from a fellow girl and not another guy (guys use their heart but girls are cold and will tell you the bitter truth even if they are just jealous)

2: "She is a good girl from a good family" is your cousin a guy or girl? how long has she/he known her and under what conditions? did they live together, go to school together or are in the same fraternity or workplace. Such information is useful but you need to have specific example of (for instance) if they have been through a personal crisis and how they managed it, how they deal with other people's feelings etc

3: "I have already started chatting with her, she seems cool, apparently. " that is actually a good move but always note this one fact of social-conditioning, nearly everyone will show you their best foot on social media. until you have had a chance to start dating and getting to know each other, there is no telling whether she is NICE APPARENTLY or she is just putting up her nice side. also understand that you must have your STANDARDS and a threshold of what you will accept from another fellow human-being. The true character of a human being is demonstrated in a moment of weakness or an opportunity to show humility. This is because Strength and Pride are only mastered by humble people.

4: She is 27. aaaaargh! shocked while "Age is just a number" by American Standards, she is getting married pretty LATE.. but that is not exactly a bad thing seeing that you are Nigerian and people get married at 40-50-60 and as long as their is love in the marriage, the rest is just hater-gossip. The reason why I am bringing this up is that there are several Socioeconomic factors working against/for you the older you get in America as a female. There are some job roles that become hard to get or be considered for (actor, business executive, marketer etc) and there are sum that you will fit into perfectly (Nursing, Caregiver, Restaurant-owner etc) A masters is a good achievement for both of you at that age bracket which means you can also get higher-up the career-ladder faster if your performance matches your credentials.

In summary, Pray for wisdom and get to know her better (physically) and don't make any commitments you will regret later - also understand how the American System works in favor for or against Successful Black Women.

Good luck
Thank you so much. I appreciate.
My cousin is a male. He's live in us for almost 35yrs.

They live together, same community sort of. The girl in question is his daughter's agemate.
Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by obowunmi(m): 3:25pm On Sep 14
pansophist:
1. Make sure she chooses you. Arranged marriage works well when the lady in particular finds the man attractive and naturally wants to be with him. Men generally can be with a woman that they do not love, especially if she is a good person, I can not say the same for women. So I repeat, make sure that she chooses you and truly want to be with you. By choosing you, I do not necessarily mean meeting you herself and not through arrangement (that is just a vehicle to meet each other), but that she finds you attractive, adorable, and respectable.

2. Do not go have a relationship with her because of the prospect of green card. You NEED to find her as a good partner genuinely. and the prospect of living in the US will just be an addition, to make your marital life prosperous.

3. Be conscious of the power dynamic in your relationship. Traditionally, it is the woman that integrates into the lifestyle of a man, not otherwise. She is the one adopting your surname, moving to you, being impregnated by you, and submitting (not to be understood as tyranny/subordination) to you. Make sure you have something going for yourself, and green-card is not something that will be that attractive, or at least have self-respect to not make it influence such a lifelong decision. Moving to live with her in the US, getting your papers through her, being economically handicapped while she simultaneously assume the role of the torch bearer is not a recipe for a good start. Only truly good women will take that role and not look down on you. You know her better, so don't take this as an express advice.

4. Most importantly, make sure she is not settling for, but chooses you out of all her options. A question I would ask myself would be why she can not find a man in the US, a country with a population of about x2 of Nigeria. Why go through the stress of long distance relationship with you and considering marriage when she haven't even met you? It is important you know that in every deregulated relationship (meaning a lady freely making romantic decisions without social/cultural pressure), it is the woman that chooses the man, not otherwise. You may argue that you asked her out firstly, but her acceptance is mere confirmation of having choosing you out of all her suitors. Your words/toasting skills didn't do the job, but the kind of man you have made yourself to be.

Tell her to consider the prospect of visiting you in Nigeria, and explore the possibility of living in Nigeria and lead your family life there, then in the nearest future, you may both move abroad when you are convinced about the kind of woman she is. Don't just uproot your life and move to her to the US, leaving you vulnerable and dependent on her, in a feminized society. personally I would never do that. After all, Nigeria is her country as well. I am advising you as someone that lives abroad, and have seen how lots of relationship crashed because of not having proper planning and jumping to marry anyone because of the chance to move abroad.

Be honest with yourself. If you want to marry her genuinely, pay attention to the above advice. But if you want to marry her to move abroad, I can guarantee you that she probably will be that smart to see your intention and rain hell on you, and it would be better you just remain in Nigeria and live your life peacefully, than be at the mercy of an estranged wife in a foreign, feminized society. Good luck.

You are a very intelligent person. Very valid point.

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Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by yemi1504: 3:25pm On Sep 14
bukatyne:

Imagine undecided
Please swerve off my mention! Thank you!
Re: What Are Advantages & Disadvantages Of Marrying Nigerian Girl Born In America? by yemi1504: 3:25pm On Sep 14
bukatyne:

Imagine undecided
Please swerve off my mention! Thank you!

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