Is it OK for a girl in courtship to visit male friend(admirer) ( bachelor ) when in a distance relationship with her husband to be"....

Please give your honest opinion about this issue ....am currently in a serious relationship with a lady I love so much,,,we are currently distance apart because of work & my studies...whenever am chanced I get to travel down to her location to meet her....Her family is fully in support of us

But yesterday she gave me a shocker,,,she went visiting a guy that stays alone ,,,,this guy has expressed his feelings to her before but according to her she made it clear to him that she was emotional unavailable for him and in a serious relationship..

Yesterday She told me,,,she went visiting and the only thing they discuss during her more than 3hrs visit was just business....

How should I react to this,,,,particularly because this guy jokingly told her before that " he doesn't mind if she was in courtship that he was ready to play second fiddle" since am not in proximity...

She has been calling since and have refused to pick her calls,,,this is because I have warned her before not to go visiting guys. . ..

Remember Jesus is coming soon))))


She should avoid and flee every appearance of evil...

She already knows what might happen, good or bad.
But shes at liberty to do whatever pleases her.

For her to visit a guy that she knows is interested in her after your warning means she's hiding something from you. Things like this have ended certain relationships.

The title should be I AM COURTING WITH A GUY BUT IM WEIGHING MY OPTIONS.
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Hello Nairalanders,

Anyone that has GMAT past questions/answers should kindly assist me with it.
It is very urgent please.

I can be reached at;
ogunduyiolaolu@gmail.com

Thanks

Sir, one major rule of a distance relationship is trust. That is like the glue that holds it together.

She obviously respects you and trust you enough that is why she felt the need to tell you about visiting the said guy. You think she wouldn't have hidden it from you from she wanted to?

She obviously do not have any issue here. Can't say the same for you. Trust her and u will be fine.

nerd004:
Is it OK for a girl in courtship to visit male friend(admirer) ( bachelor ) when in a distance relationship with her husband to be"....

She has been calling since and have refused to pick her calls,,,this is because I have warned her before not to go visiting guys. . ..

Obviously she's trying to keep her options open so she can have a Plan B to fall back on if you disappoint her.

If you really do not want her visiting other guys then marry her or make a significant commitment so you can have a concrete basis for telling her not to visit other guys!

Kobicove:


Obviously she's trying to keep her options open so she can have a Plan B to fall back on if you disappoint her.

If you really do not want her visiting other guys then marry her or make a significant commitment so you can have a concrete basis for telling her not to visit other guys!

Sorry but I disagree.
should he rush and marry because he wants to keep her? What if he isn't financially capable at the moment?

Plus you and me both know that won't stop any lady from visiting any guy she wants to visit. Have we not heard of a girl visiting her ex few days before her wedding?


I'll just advice op to be very careful from now on. Observe her for a while. Note any changes in her attitude or strange behaviours and then make your decision.

Some ladies tell their fiancé these kind of things to put his mind at rest and then go ahead to mess herself up with the plan B. The main guy won't suspect anything since he trusts her.

I don't fancy long distance relationships at all.

For her to visit a dude that she knows is wishing in her after your alert means she's hiding anything from you. stuff like this have ended certainty partnerships.

Reading your story reminded me of my ex whom I tried to stop from visiting a certain guy but she still went ahead to do so behind my back and I was so hurt that I ended the whole thing.But I don't advice u take the decision I took then because I was still young and naive.

Now let me be straight with you, she visited that guy because she is still trying to weigh her options and still hasn't made up her mind on if you are the one or not. You on the other hand, you are having insecurity issues because it is either she must have been showing you certain signs or you are not yet good enough for her.

Solution
Pick her call, let out the annoyance because it is healthy for you both. Make it straight to her that she disrespected you don't like it and you wont take it from her next time. For now I will tell you to hold any weeding plans until you are certain and sure. Finally, forgive her but don't forget. No listen to any third party

Nukubib:

Sorry but I disagree.
should he rush and marry because he wants to keep her? What if he isn't financially capable at the moment?

Plus you and me both know that won't stop any lady from visiting any guy she wants to visit. Have we not heard of a girl visiting her ex few days before her wedding?


I'll just advice op to be very careful from now on. Observe her for a while. Note any changes in her attitude or strange behaviours and then make your decision.

Some ladies tell their fiancé these kind of things to put his mind at rest and then go ahead to mess herself up with the plan B. The main guy won't suspect anything since he trusts her.

I don't fancy long distance relationships at all.

I understand your point but as far as I'm concerned it's very unfair for a guy to tie down a lady of marriageable age especially in a long distance relationship.

Any sensible lady in a long distance relationship should keep her options open otherwise if the guy disappoints her at the last minute she could be left stranded.

If you put up a house of 100 million for sale you sell to the first person to pay cash in full, you don't wait for someone who has been dancing around the property for the past 12 months without making a serious commitment!

Kobicove:


I understand your point but as far as I'm concerned it's very unfair for a guy to tie down a lady of marriageable age especially in a long distance relationship.

Any sensible lady in a long distance relationship should keep her options open otherwise if the guy disappoints her at the last minute she could be left stranded.

If you put up a house of 100 million for sale you sell to the first person to pay cash in full, you don't wait for someone who has been dancing around the property for the past 12 months without making a commitment!

na wetin u dey write so? So now you dey encourage oloshoism? Tar, what an Ozo.There is a level a lady will get to and she knowns when to be serious. Na visit me visit me dey turn gal to ashewo

gunners160:
na wetin u dey write so? So now you dey encourage oloshoism? Tar, what an Ozo.There is a level a lady will get to and she knowns when to be serious. Na visit me visit me dey turn gal to ashewo

If you're not absolutely sure you want to marry a lady then don't tell her to cease all communications with other potential suitors.

I'm sure you would not like it if someone locks down your sister or daughter for several months or years in a long distance relationship and in the end still refuses to marry her over a flimsy excuse!

At least she was honest enough to tell you, which you obviously couldn't handle.
.
Trust is important in every relationship, you simply do not trust her enough to stand her ground, she's in a relationship and not in prison.

Just prepare yourself so that nothing will come to you as a surprise

Mayb d guy wants to sponsor ur wedding

I dont tink she has anything she' hiding,at least she was been truthful by telling u where she went.

Just forgive her and pick her calls. Ko ni se be mo

Op, she is not married to you na, besides maybe she knew the guy before knowing you, and am sure you don't trust her, because if you do, then you shouldn't be worried.

virginprincess:
Op, she is not married to you na, besides maybe she knew the guy before knowing you, and am sure you don't trust her, because if you do, then you shouldn't be worried.

Hw can he trust her with the way they talk about women on Nairaland even if she coughs, that cough means she trying to cheat.

every babe got a plan B....she just went there to remind him if u Bleep up,a change of ownership of the punna will take place
thank u

merieam16:
Hw can he trust her with the way they talk about women on Nairaland even if she coughs, that cough means she trying to cheat.

My sister, it so annoying, just continue reading the comment, and see the stupid advice they would give.

Nukubib:

Sorry but I disagree.
should he rush and marry because he wants to keep her? What if he isn't financially capable at the moment?

Plus you and me both know that won't stop any lady from visiting any guy she wants to visit. Have we not heard of a girl visiting her ex few days before her wedding?


I'll just advice op to be very careful from now on. Observe her for a while. Note any changes in her attitude or strange behaviours and then make your decision.

Some ladies tell their fiancé these kind of things to put his mind at rest and then go ahead to mess herself up with the plan B. The main guy won't suspect anything since he trusts her.

I don't fancy long distance relationships at all.

As regards being financially buoyant & sufficient "I am " to the glory of God....

Am already through with my first degree likewise her,,,I got myself a job that requires me to be trained for a minimum of 4yrs,,,after which I intend settling down with her,which is fully aware of .....

This is not the first time she is going to visit a guys "her admirers",,,,...during her service year she did the same the,,,..she visited a fellow corper that was doctor and that almost raped her(according to her words)...

Now am confused,,,is this the kind of lady I should be settling with?....She has been bombarding my fone with calls & sms ,,,

I have been enduring this act for a while,,I normally don't do this but thank God for the anonymous of nairaland...

I don't really want to offend her now bcoz am angry,,,she claims she loves me so much yet she walks herself to vulnerable situations,,I asked her if she's committed to "us" she said 100%,,,

Right here I get to beautiful ladies but have maintained my faithfulness yet she kips she fumbling...

it is well sha
las las dis guy wud be alryt...
tanks nairalanders

merieam16:
Mayb d guy wants to sponsor ur wedding

I dont tink she has anything she' hiding,at least she was been truthful by telling u where she went.

Just forgive her and pick her calls. Ko ni se be mo

It's not only sponsor

virginprincess:
My sister, it so annoying, just continue reading the comment, and see the stupid advice they would give.

I trust them, they never disappoint

If she was honest in telling you her whereabout. I see no reason you shouldn't pick her call. Its becos you don't trust her.