Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,153,209 members, 7,818,707 topics. Date: Sunday, 05 May 2024 at 10:26 PM

. - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / . (8525 Views)

My Stepmother Poured Hot Water On My Baby! I'm So Angry / 1 Year After Marriage, I Am Already Tired / "My Wife’s Beauty Makes Me Sleepless, I Want A Divorce" - Zimbabwea Man To Judge (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (Reply) (Go Down)

. by Nobody: 7:18am On Sep 30, 2020
.

3 Likes

Re: . by daddytime(m): 7:20am On Sep 30, 2020
This is a tough one to call because beating a man that's down already and making him see that he is being beaten for his misfortunes will be a swift and a sure way to driving him suicidal.

In life, we all make mistakes and should learn from those mistakes.

About the businesses gone wrong, he made a very bad decision not to have involved you as his first partner but others in it, and you are well justified to feel slighted and mad at him but do not get vindictive because it still could have done sour even with you in the picture.

The immediate problem now which is enough to truly irk you is his feeling comfortable in your aunt's house. That's demonic and a no-no and probably village people at work.

The enemies are almost succeeding in getting him where they want him which is, to make him comfortable at an aunt's while making him forget to do for himself.

If the attitude you are giving him will be the slap to get him up from his slumber, please, give him more of it and make him understand why.

For fear of not sounding like one who is holding forth or condoning a potential lazy man's attitude, I'd advise you thread with caution and above all, with love because in this life, nothing is certain or permanent for anyone, and life, destiny, or posterity sure has a way of humbling we humans at the appropriate time.

How would you feel if, after all the attitude and abandoning him, the stars now align with him walking into a fortune, how would you feel about yourself?

However, if after all, he still fails to get uncomfortable, no one will blame you for separation. But even at that, do not abandon your child, please.

Marriage and life ain't easy, of a truth, and difficult times as this are inevitable no matter how much you think you could or have planned.

I wish you well going forward.

47 Likes 2 Shares

Re: . by OlawaleBammie: 7:22am On Sep 30, 2020
Madam!! and the next u could tink of is leaving the union??



If u re one of those who bliv in prayer, the I will ask, where is Ur altar of prayer??

if u bliv in dialogue, then why don't u dialogue with him, (well, am sure u must have done dis) why don't u call his people to talk sense into him?(might not necessarily be family members, but friends)





What I will just say is dis, men fight depression in many ways, u don't even know what he's thinking, u don't know his next step, u don't know if he's trying to quench d depression in him.

There was a tym my life had not meaning(Big thanks to God for today), I left where I was living,my family(possible for me cus no wife), I left everything behind and went to a strange land, and wen I got there, I became nonchalant,

[b]I became nonchalant to the extent that I don't pray, I don't go to vigil again, I don't fast(til now) even in church I will just be looking at them like...what are they doing now??...


I didn't take anything worthy, I lost my trust in everything, I lost my strength, I lost my fighting spirit, I lost will to take risk, I lost virtually everything., why?? cus I was weakened and I don't know how best to fight my depression other than that.

And Thank God, things are becoming better now and I love the way I fought my depression.





Sister what am I trying to say?? U don't know, he might be battling with depression, and am sure he will be back to his feat, don't divorce him now pls, it wouldn't say well of you.

13 Likes

Re: . by BestGospelMusic: 7:24am On Sep 30, 2020
Pray without ceasing. E get why Bible talk am

4 Likes

Re: . by Nobody: 7:28am On Sep 30, 2020
Pray for him, it may not be odinary

8 Likes

Re: . by HotPoundedYam(m): 7:29am On Sep 30, 2020
I honestly hate seeing the word divorce it makes me see people as insensitive quitters.
think about your children and the effects it will have on them later in life.

why give him attitude when you can boldly tell him the issue and seek solution? when he had money didn't you spend it with him? why not pray for him since you are able to sense things changed for him negativly?

I believe there is nothing prayers can't do. please go to prayer believing Bible Churches ask God for guidance. he could be facing spiritual problems. it could even be that your spirit and his doesn't correspond and that's why his success experienced a downwards spiral

3 Likes

Re: . by Madibah(m): 7:31am On Sep 30, 2020
BestGospelMusic:
Pray without ceasing. E get why Bible talk am

Stop talking trash jare
Every winner must face obstacles
They must have hard time
It's might not even be spiritually
You need to start thinking beyond that

15 Likes

Re: . by Jafar1: 7:32am On Sep 30, 2020
BestGospelMusic:
Pray without ceasing. E get why Bible talk am
zagadat442:
Pray for him, it may not be odinary

5 Likes

Re: . by Ahmed0336(m): 7:38am On Sep 30, 2020
He need to be talked to, encouraged and love at this point in his life.

Sometimes things of this nature occurs in other to reveal the real characters of those around us.

NO CONDITION IS PERMANENT.

4 Likes

Re: . by crackhaus: 7:38am On Sep 30, 2020
I want to leave my husband and our child behind.
I don't understand this part.

What did the child do to you?

14 Likes 2 Shares

Re: . by MAGG0T(m): 7:41am On Sep 30, 2020
cool



Sometimes it could be a curse from the past..

Karma is real
Re: . by Odion2016(m): 7:45am On Sep 30, 2020
Dear Op,,whatever you do,,please dont leave your child....
And I will also advice that you bear with him for some more time...
You can talk to him..
Men bear responsiblities all the time,,we dont complain though,,,bt with women,,its always different...
I am still looking for the person that coined the phrase 'A man is the head of the family'...

3 Likes

Re: . by Tocynone(m): 7:48am On Sep 30, 2020
But, marriage is for better or worse.
Its a trial time for the family and it will soon be over.
Remember, life is like sugarcane.

1 Like

Re: . by Brunosamel(m): 7:49am On Sep 30, 2020
I will always tell people to never get investment advice from a family member it will end in fisaco, that how my in law lost 6 million because he listen to advice from a family member who doesn't know anything about money...

Am sorry you are facing a lot, both of Definitely needs to take a drastic decision about this matter, you are strong woman don't give up yet just keep pushing at least till the year runs out, restrategize and if he decides not to help out... Dump his sorry ass and move on with your life... He is supposed to be the head not the tail he should man up swallow his pride and do his manly duty.
Re: . by Freestainworld(m): 7:51am On Sep 30, 2020
when both of you where saying for better for worst on the pulpit, maybe you didn't understand the meaning, marriage is not easy, but only the strong and willed people make it work and successful, talk to him continuously without giving him attitude, he will use you to counsel young couples in the future.

4 Likes

Re: . by majamajic(m): 7:51am On Sep 30, 2020
Op , I went through your story , I understand everything

Now , u have this opportunity , let's move away from your story a bit , let's go direct .
What job you thinks he can do ( any school certificate ) ?
Which area ?
Since u are here , use the opportunity to beg NLers , see if u can get him a job here , anything is possible
He was a hard working man ( for him to set up a bet shop while sliding down ) , so try see if u can get him job from here . Advertise him !

15 Likes

Re: . by kpukpuyenke: 8:01am On Sep 30, 2020
Won ti get Bobo e.


Whatever your decision plz always be with your child

Why will you even think of leaving the child behind?? undecided undecided

1 Like 1 Share

Re: . by Nobody: 8:05am On Sep 30, 2020
.
Re: . by SEGLIZ: 8:06am On Sep 30, 2020
Chinnybaby190:
I have to create this accounts to post this.
I want to leave my husband and our child behind. I want a divorce. I'm tired of the whole thing.

When the money was there, he only told me his plan after he, his elder brothers, mother have discussd and taken decision.
After he made wrong decision, investment and lost everything, all his family members have left. Even his mother has given up on us. They see him now as my husband and my responsibility.

He took another little step and set up a betnija business which his brother was managing. Finnally, it's down.

Since his bet9ja business crumbled, he has been totally dependent on me. I basically foot everything in the house down to data and recharge card on his phone. The annoying part is that he no longer make effort to look for any job again.
This man is intelligent, hard working but just of a sudden, I don't understand what is happening to him.
His fighting spirit has died. He takes anything now. No pride, no ego.

I don't ever believe that one day my husband will be comfortably eating, watching movies and feel no shame in other people's house.

For more than 2 weeks now, we packed all our belongings to my Aunt's house because our rent expired.
We practically stays here now, the whole thing is driving me crazy. I'm managing a small job with little salary, but he has nothing to contribute and he seems not borderd.

How can we stay here, eating their food and he's not feeling remores anymore.
I've been giving him attitude since 3days now. I'm so exhausted in this marriage.

Please help. What should I do?

More experienced people in the house, please advise me as your daughter, sister, friend.

quitting isn't the solution here. this isn't about battering, so don't take rash decision. quitting makes you a loser.
you've gone ahead with the battle silently thus the way to go. battle him silently and make him return to his rightful senses. don't get it wrong you husband recent attitude is some worth a way by which he is beating depression.
even the silent battle must but shouldn't aggravate it. talk him through it and give him back his EGO and SELFESTEEM. he needs you now than any other time, this is time for you to prove that you are different from his family members.
the position he failed to give you, your rightful recognition should be claimed now. be a true WOMAN, WIFE, SOULMATE and A TRUE CONFIDANT. it's time to make him realise truly he should have being confiding in you.
I wish you and your marriage a blissful success.

1 Like

Re: . by punisha: 8:08am On Sep 30, 2020
If only u know half the fight going on in his head.
He hasn't given up, he is simply at that point where he has given in to powers that be and hopes for a breakthrough which will definitely come.
He is more ashamed than u will ever know. He just can't stay depressed cos he knows it will kill u. He's fighting a battle that all u can do is support him.
U even said he's intelligent. A little more time woman everywhere go burst. I have been down this part. It only gets worse before it gets beautiful.

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: . by Nobody: 8:22am On Sep 30, 2020
.

3 Likes

Re: . by merieam16(f): 8:25am On Sep 30, 2020
U need to give him time.He needs ur support now, at some point in our lives we all make mistakes. if at every little tin we all get divorce who will remain in marriage nw. U need to b strong for him, u will surely overcome d storm
Re: . by thorpido(m): 8:27am On Sep 30, 2020
What wrong has your child done that you are thinking of leaving the child behind?

3 Likes

Re: . by merieam16(f): 8:28am On Sep 30, 2020
Chinnybaby190:
He kept saying he wants to set up a barbing salon or the same betnija and handle it by himself, but no capital.
He can work in an NGO, data entering, Computer instructor, insurance.
He had experience in all the above.
He's very smart and intelligent, he can pick up anything, once you show/train him within a short period of time.

But just of a sudden, he became so reluctant to all these.

thats a sign of depression, continue praying 4 him
Re: . by 4lorunsho(m): 8:31am On Sep 30, 2020
You and your suppose can come for this to get together again

Re: . by infogenius(m): 8:33am On Sep 30, 2020
Op
I am sorry about what u and ur immediate family are going through.
Ur moving to ur auntie's house is not palatable at all.
The times are hard on people but don't let that bite into u to react irrationally

Moving forward..

. This is the best time to be closer.

. Both of you must pray together.

. Look out for job opportunities no matter how small the pay is and encourage him to start working.

. Don't have open quarrels with him

If he doesn't get a job(no matterhow small) to do, then let ur family sit him down and talk to him before you resort to divorce.

1 Like

Re: . by Nobody: 8:43am On Sep 30, 2020
.

1 Like

Re: . by SEGLIZ: 8:46am On Sep 30, 2020
Chinnybaby190:
He kept saying he wants to set up a barbing salon or the same betnija and handle it by himself, but no capital.
He can work in an NGO, data entering, Computer instructor, insurance.
He had experience in all the above.
He's very smart and intelligent, he can pick up anything, once you show/train him within a short period of time.

But just of a sudden, he became so reluctant to all these.


ma'am don't argue with the battle but face it headlong. bringing here shows you are courageous, same should be in your approach towards him. I would say again, he needs you now than any other time.
every strong man has his ebb, a very deadly weakness. all we all need in life is that motivation, the nudge in the right direction. you are defending on us for motivation in the right direction so he is waiting on you for strength and motivation and the right nudge on.
all I and fellow landers are after is the success of that marriage. PLEASE take your time, look him straight in the eye you find LIFE you are searching for. truth is you will discover see it wait for that Ember and Ignition to LIVE again.
you baby is in a critical state of confusion and depression but as a true man he's being managing it (reason being you didn't mention him nagging).
now try being a true mother you wanted to him compare to the who left him devastated.

1 Like

Re: . by Nobody: 8:53am On Sep 30, 2020
.
Re: . by Nobody: 8:54am On Sep 30, 2020
@chinnybaby190, e-hugs to you, this road is not an easy one but believe me,you will overcome.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: . by SEGLIZ: 8:54am On Sep 30, 2020
Chinnybaby190:
I'm so exhausted. I feel like I need rest. Not worried about any responsibility. Imagin Since last week, I had no body cream, but I couldn't get it. The money I'm supposed to use for my personal upkeep, it's being channel to other things, yet it's not enough and I can't see the end of this soon.
I feel so old inside me.

I can feel you need for liberation but mind you END of this evil season is here already. all you need is a little hold on, for your new and awaited season of Joy.
the strength is there summon it to action it won't fail you. this is your trying time, we all have ours, some of us have gone through it, some of us are currently passing through it, while so many will still do. just hold on you will sure smile at End of the Tunnel, when enter into your SEASON of JOY.

2 Likes

Re: . by SEGLIZ: 8:56am On Sep 30, 2020
4lorunsho:
You and your suppose can come for this to get together again

why are you so inhuman and heartless.

1 Like 1 Share

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (Reply)

Have You Ever Lost Everything You Worked For? / Two-headed Manhood!! What Would You Do? / Do You Really Love The Person You Married?

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 57
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.