house please my guys wedding is arround the corner and his fiance just started banging on court marriage every now and then. i suspect lack of trust but i want to what ur opinion could be. cos dis guy is becoming suspicious of the whole fuss and its making him scared. ur answers might be helpful in advising him. lawyers and marriage registrars please put mouth.

A relationship pyramid is made up of 4 things ( communication, passion, trust and intimacy). Before I even answer your obvious question, what will happened to a pyramid if you remove one of it's block eh? Answer that!

@OP.
Mostly tru

If she has issues with the husband to be, I think she should analyze things critically/properly before she steps into this marriage.

Trust in a marriage is basic and if lacking

Im guessing the lady wants alimony when a divorce occurs

@ xavier3 please can u explain to me what alimony means and at the same time does the church support court wedding.

trust matters alot
if she wants court marriage she probably wants security

if your guy really wants to get married i don't see anything wrong wid it

she only wants security

Deres is nothing wrong with wanting court marriage, cos a marriage has to fulfil the law of the land and God. So u must register ur marriage with the law. There is no big deal about that.

Im sure she's being wary of her in-laws. I see nothing wrong in it, so let her proceed.

Security!  Your homeboi might grow a 3rd testis in future to become someone horribly new.

COURT MARRIAGE BECAUSE SHE WILL HAVE FULL RIGHT TO CONTROL UR ASSETS IN CASE ANYTHING HAPPENS TO YOU AND FOR SECURITY REASONS

iv4real:

Deres is nothing wrong with wanting court marriage, cos a marriage has to fulfil the law of the land and God. So u must register your marriage with the law. There is no big deal about that.

God bless u dr!
people r so ignorant of the importance of court wedding in this era

Beync:

God bless u dr!
people r so ignorant of the importance of court wedding in this era

which law of GOD are you talking about

Almighty God.
By court wedding u legalize ur mariage and the scriptures approves of that!

@ beync please where in the scriptures can i get ur back up. the girl is insisting on court marriage b4 any further plans the guy is becoming wary of that decision. the lady she has no reason for wanting court marriage just that she wants it and the guy said he wont agree to it unless she provides a reason. this relationship have reached to the point that they have even printed iv cards and started sharing them. now this is tearing them apart. both families are now at logger heads each supporting their wards. infact this one don pass my power. i am to be his best man. temptation. what really can be done to salvage dis i am so much involved now dat it is equally killing me

My question is why should the guy even have a problem with going to the court to make things legal? Where I come from the 3 ceremonies go hand-in-hand ( traditional wedding, Church or Mosque and Court). The court wedding is just as important, no girl wants a situation whereby if any thing happens God forbid, she'll have no rights under the law. That's when you see things like the in-laws taking all the guys property and throwing her out even with kids. I beg, I no blame the girl o

Most legal marriages goes through the court system anyways. Except the crooks that want more than one wife in a country that does not support polygamy then they will do a civil marriage but it is not legal in the court of law.

i had a chat with the guy yesterday and he told me his heart. he said and i quote that there are two law conflicting in this marriage. that of the church conflicts with that of the court. he said that he cannot agree to two laws at the same time. he said the church's law depend on the bible which says "for better for worse , till death do us part" but the courts law says otherwise. he went further to say that if he goes ahead to do the court wedding he will not go for church wedding again cos his marriage cannot thrive under two distinct, different and conflicting laws. he has not told the girl and gave her the options to either take court or church wedding, and she said she wants both to occur.
the church from my own research does not recognize any marriage done by the court u can wed in the court and come to church to bless ur marriage but if d church requires any contribution from the married ones u r not involved.
i think i am going with him o. i believe every thing done under the eyes of God and if God approves of it then it is safe and secure. so why should we seek for security elsewhere if we can find security under God almighty. what do u guys think about this. before a church weds u they must get approval from from the marrriage registry thats why they will send u to there to register it and the registry will now register it after due investigation for 21 working days they will now reply the church. that this union should or should not carry on with reasons. and this couple have done this stage and passed b4 the babe beging ask for court marriage. so make una still talk o

Shady2009:

COURT MARRIAGE BECAUSE SHE WILL[b] HAVE FULL RIGHT TO CONTROL your ASSETS IN CASE ANYTHING HAPPENS TO YOU AND FOR SECURITY REASONS

[/b]

Thats the point there,

Coolabbie:

Im sure she's being wary of her in-laws. I see nothing wrong in it, so let her proceed.

Yes but i will be wary of any lady who insist on court marriage

Beync:

God bless u dr!
people r so ignorant of the importance of court wedding in this era

Sis. .i have to disagree with u here, pple are using court marriage as an insurance now, they can afford to walk out of the marriage without any effort to work things out with their partner knowing fully well what they stand to gain (If the man/woman is rich).

I will only go for court marriage IF both of us want it, not one person insisting on it.

Actually if its in Nigeria, a woman doesn't really have much to gain financially in case of a divorce so I doubt that is the main reason, nothing like getting half of his assets here, she would even be lucky to get child support which by the way is not usually enforced. The major benefits of a court marriage here is for the woman to have a legal standing in case of her husband's demise or another wife wahala

tatiana009:

Actually if its in Nigeria, a woman dosen't really have much to gain financially in case of a divorce so I doubt that is a main reason, nothing like getting half of his assets here, she would even be lucky to get child support which by the way is not usually enforced. The major benefits of a court marriage here is for the woman to have a legal standing in case of her husband's demise or another wife wahala

. .and what does legal standing got to do with love? If the hubby decide to walk out of the marriage, will her legal standing force the man to stay?
If there is nothing to gain by neither party, why then do pple insist on court marriage?

The legal standing here has nothing to do with divorce, if you know any widow or have heard of the trials a lot of Nigerian widows go through you would realise that it would be silly for any woman not to want a court marriage. That is the only thing that will protect her and her children in case God forbids anything bad happens. No woman wants to think of the worst happening to her husband, but 1 needs to be responsible especially because of the kids. You don't want a situation where by the husband dies or is incapacitated and the in-laws come in take everything and even some wicked ones will not even give anything for the kids upkeep. Its like taking an insurance policy, you don't want bad things to ever happen but you need to be responsible and protect yourselves and your loved ones. If she doesn't trust anyone here, its not the guy but usually the in-laws and I can't blame her, you'll be surprised how they'll change sometimes

tatiana009:

The legal standing here has nothing to do with divorce, if you know any widow or have heard of the tials a lot of Nigerian widows go through you would realise that it would be silly for any woman not to want a court marriage. That is the only thing that will protect her and her children in case God forbids anything bad happens. No woman wants to think of the worst happening to her husband, but 1 needs to be responsible especially because of the kids. You don't want a situation where by the husband dies or is incapacitated and the in-laws come in take everything and even some wicked ones will not even give anything for the kids upkeep. Its like taking an insurance policy, you don't want bad things to ever happen but you need to be responsible and protect yourselves and your loved ones. If she dosen't trust anyone here, its not the guy but usually the in-laws and I can't blame her, you'll be surprised how they'll change sometimes

We are talking about extreme cases here, this is not always the norms, why would the woman be in a marriage where everything is depend on the husband, if she works, have her own source of income then she wouldn't worry about what the inlaws are after. She doesn't need any legal standing to open bank accounts for her kids during her marriage where money will be paid in for the kids.

One needs to prepare for everything in life, even the worst. Even if the wife makes a good income, the fact still remains that the if the family income is reduced to 1 things can be really difficult especially depending on the number of kids. Suddenly instead of contributing maybe half, she'll be doing everything, rent, school fees, feeding, e.t.c  let me tell you ask any woman who had to raise her kids alone, its not easy. My mother raised 5 kids alone with no help from anywhere, o boy i wouldn't wish that on anybody . Apart from the will issue, if the husband has a terminal illness or anything like that legally she'll be able to make the decisions concerning his health as opposed to 1 Uncle stepping in. In this age we need to do our best to protect ourselves and our families legally, don't wait until it happens to you, you need to learn to prevent things getting that bad especially women in Africa cos a lot of times women are the victims.
Here's the thing, if they are in Nigeria he has nothing to fear financial wise in case of a divorce yet everything to gain in other scenarios by ensuring that his family will be protected.

tatiana009:

One needs to prepare for everything in life, even the worst. Even if the wife makes a good income, the fact still remains that the if the family income is reduced to 1 things can be really difficult especially depending on the number of kids. Suddenly instead of contributing maybe half, she'll be doing everything, rent, school fees, feeding, e.t.c let me tell you ask any woman who had to raise her kids alone, its not easy. My mother raised 5 kids alone with no help from anywhere, o boy i wouldn't wish that on anybody . Apart from the will issue, if the husband has a terminal illness or anything like that legally she'll be able to make the decisions concerning his health as opposed to 1 Uncle stepping in. In this age we need to do our best to protect ourselves and our families legally, don't wait until it happens to you, you need to learn to prevent things getting that bad especially women in Africa cos a lot of times women are the victims. Here's the thing, if they are in Nigeria he has nothing to fear financial wise in case of a divorce yet everything to gain in other scenarios by ensuring that his family will be protected.

I know that, my mum raised 6 of us without any help from anybody, i'm the last one and my dady dead when i was so little and my mum did it all. If she wasn't strong and independen't enough then when my daddy died she would have given up and left us to die of hunger. The only thing that kept her going is the love she has for us and not what my daddy had, my uncles took all the land and what have u but my mum still brought us all on her own. She is the nearest thing to God for me

Now i dont  get wat some of us understand by court mariage. for all i know, A mariage is invalide without a registrar's certificate or the licence under the section 13 of the Mariage Act is duelly issued. and this is simply what is refered to as court mariage. How does this go? the intended couples obtains a form 'Notice of Mariage' frm the magistrate court. this notice will be entered in the Mariage Notice Book and published. the registra at the time of  the expiration of 21days & before d expiration of 3months from d notice date upon payment of prescribed fee, shall there upon issue his certificate. the couple taking d afidavit may be sworn before a registra, Administrative officer of before a recogniged Minister of a religion. until this licence is issued, the couples are now eligible to celeberate their mariage in the place of worship

@op,
court mariage does not mean u will neglect either traditional rites nor church proceedings, i dont see christianity conflicting with court mariage in any way. any person dat tells u dat is saying out of ignorant.
Read Romans 13:1-3. Let every soul be subject to the Governong Authorities,
By doing court mariage your  simply obeyin the law of the land/God and the law recognise a family only if your mariage is registartered in the magistrate court and dats simply court mariage.

In Nigeria, when family issue is involve during  legal preceedings or take NYSC for e.g in the camp,  those who r maried  will be required to present their mariage certicate and news papper publication before your redeployment to where ever your patner resides. now if your maried without this certificate your find it difficult or resort to forgery like health issues etc or pay money

@ justwise forget about whether people take it to be insurance or not. so many thins has been voild of its main objectives,if u want want to enter into a mariage probably becos of wat u stand to gain in the event of mariage crash,then dat mariage is not suposed to hold at the first time.
I rest my case!

If Nigerian women does not gain anything from Divorce and not necessarily marriage. I do not think that the women's motives are to get married especially if they do not gain anything after all. The bottom line it seems though the marriage benefits the men and not the woman. How sad.

Shady2009:

COURT MARRIAGE BECAUSE SHE WILL HAVE FULL RIGHT TO CONTROL your ASSETS IN CASE ANYTHING HAPPENS TO YOU AND FOR SECURITY REASONS

GBAMMED!

Insisting on anything doesn't work with some of us.
If she insists tell her she should shelve the church wedding if she wants the court. That way U can do traditional & court. If she agrees to that then maybe U shouldn't trust her.

ignorance is on both of them!