Many people act nice for the sole purpose of pleasing others and attempting to make themselves feel validated. I noticed that I have this issue and it has impacted me badly so I have made an ongoing commitment to deal with it. When you are a people pleaser, you are being ingenuine and dishonest. This shit makes things awkward and you become very boring because you constantly agree with what others are saying and doing and don’t speak your mind for the simple fear of offending them. By being nice you make people see less value in you and make yourself become more vulnerable to being exploited by others.

You have to realise that you just can’t please everyone. You never ever will be able to. And it’s completely okay. Its how the world works. I’ve been nice for so long and it has done Bleep all for me. For as long as you’re a people pleaser, you will be stuck inside your own mind and shell and you will continue to have negative thoughts and sometimes even anxiety. The key is just not to give a Bleep what others think. You do things the way you do and stop seeking validation. And I know it’s so much easier said than done but you have to realise that others don’t care much about what you do. To put it more simply, the world doesn’t give a Bleep about you. You’re just like anyone else. You’re not special, it’s facts. So why then, should you worry so much? Think back to your daily lives, how much do you notice and care about what others do? Exactly. Not much. That’s precisely how others view you as well. People focus on themselves too much to care about what others are doing. Realise this and you won’t be as anxious.

Nice people tend to put others ahead of themselves and constantly seek the approval of others. This is honestly such a damaging trait to have. Now don’t get me wrong, there is a distinct contrast between being “nice” and being “kind”. The difference between the two is that when you’re kind, you are being genuine with your intentions and do it because you want to. Whereas when you’re nice, you do it ingeuinely and are dishonest to yourself and others because you want to please the other person and get them to like/validate you.

So many people are nice for the wrong reasons. Start changing from this moment onwards. Be your true self. Don’t be dishonest. Stop seeking validation. Build your self confidence and do shit with honest intentions - do it because you want to (not because you think it’ll make someone like you). Don’t seek happiness from others. Start to take control of your lives and do not let others control it for you. The truth is no one gives a Bleep about you as harsh as it may seem. This is just how the world works. I promise that when you stop being nice (that doesn’t mean the same as stop being kind) that you will live a TREMENDOUSLY better life. Also, remember that to stop being nice that doesn’t that you should just become a massive jerk. Sure, you will without a doubt offend people because you can’t please everyone, but don’t transition into a dickhead where you put constantly put others down for the wrong reasons because it makes you feel better. I think the more appropriate way to deal with this is to be “assertive” when you need to (whereas a nice person would just let themselves be taken advantage of because they don’t want to cause conflict).

Realise that you WILL offend people. You WILL come across people who don’t like you. You WILL never ever be able to please everybody. But don’t let it stop you from doing what you want just because others don’t like it. Don’t be a people pleaser because the world and society doesn’t reward people pleasers. Just stop giving a Bleep what others think about you and don’t obtain your happiness by seeking validation from others because if this is the way you gain happiness, then you will never ever truly be happy. Stop being that fake, agreeable and boring nice person and you will gain massive respect along the way and you will build stronger relationships with others. There’s no better time to start doing this other than right now.

I just felt like I had to get this out there. I myself have been a victim for far too long and it’s diminished my social status and impacted my social skills. I truly hope this helps many of you guys out there. Even if it’s just one person I’ll be happy that I have made a positive impact on that person’s life. Best of luck.

Nice write-up
Be nice when u can and not at the expense of your happiness and peace of mind cos it'll wear you out. Help others when you can and don't expect something else in return, not even a compliment. Just do it and move on. Not easy but it's worth trying.

In Curtis James Jackson's voice(50cent)"the good die young,I ain't eligible for that".
Many a times,people tend to do good in order to seek approval or acceptance from people,when good acts ought to be done out of ingenuity and convenience,they believe by inconveniencing themselves to satisfy others,life will reward them.I am not religious though,but even the holy bible says'love thy neighbor as thyself'not 'love thy neighbor more than thyself'.
Abeg sermon don do'wisdom is profitable to direct'street chapter20vs21 .

Niceness isn't the same thing as servility; so, stop mixing them up. There's nothing wrong with being nice, and it isn't a sign of feeble-mindedness and disingenuousness like you've wittingly or unwittingly misrepresented. No sane person condones an interpersonal relationship with another who isn't nice. Ignorance of the law excuses no one; you and your ilk should stop being bold in ignorance because it's nauseating to sane minds. The proliferation of misinformation like this needs to stop.

Niceness isn't a sign of feeble-mindedness and disingenuousness - servility is - it's instead a sign of conscientiousness. And crassness and opportunism aren't signs of confidence/truthfulness and cleverness, respectively - conscientiousness is.

mrcalcufast:
In Curtis James Jackson's voice(50cent)"the good die young,I ain't eligible for that".
Many a times,people tend to do good in order to seek approval or acceptance from people,when good acts ought to be done out of ingenuity and convenience,they believe by inconveniencing themselves to satisfy others,life will reward them.I am not religious though,but even the holy bible says'love thy neighbor as thyself'not 'love thy neighbor more than thyself'.
Abeg sermon don do'wisdom is profitable to direct'street chapter20vs21 .

Joyner Lucas also said “They say that the good die young and I ain't on the guest list”

Thattallgirl:
Nice write-up
Be nice when u can and not at the expense of your happiness and peace of mind cos it'll wear you out. Help others when you can and don't expect something else in return, not even a compliment. Just do it and move on. Not easy but it's worth trying.

in other words, you are 5 ' 9... �

Odoogu:


in other words, you are 5 ' 9... �

5'11ft

it's good we all have different perspectives to life...
means we can learn from each other.
A people pleaser is not a "nice" person cos, he or she wouldn't know how to do any other thing.
but who hasn't have to sacrifice his or her own gains for someone else, even if it's just once?
there is a saying "all man for himself but some for others" it's no gain saying its true.
so please, don't stop being nice

Thattallgirl:
5'11ft

that isn't an inch short of 6ft. now I need proof

Odoogu:



that isn't an inch short of 6ft.
now I need proof

A feet is about 12 inches. The 12th inch goes to the next feet I don't take full pictures

Thattallgirl:
A feet is about 12 inches. The 12th inch goes to the next feet I don't take full pictures

Hey. You’re a tallie lol. I hope you don’t mind, i sent you a pm.

Dont respond harshly please because some people are sensitive lol

Thattallgirl:
A feet is about 12 inches. The 12th inch goes to the next feet I don't take full pictures

am a very short guy.
and very tall girls give me.... you know
I don't take full pictures either

Fact.

Being nice won't take you anywhere rather it will bring disrespect, disregard, disappointment, discomfort, deceit and degradation.

Respectedguy:


Hey. You’re a tallie lol. I hope you don’t mind, i sent you a pm.

Dont respond harshly please because some people are sensitive lol

Lol I don't reply harshly. It's either I reply your pm or not

Odoogu:


am a very short guy.
and very tall girls give me.... you know
I don't take full pictures either

Thattallgirl:

what got your tongue? you don't like short guys

a lot of folks including me hav got this issue to deal with

You can be friendly but please know when to be serious.

And remember if you can correct your friend when he's wrong then you're not his friend but his lap dog.