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Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? - Family - Nairaland

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Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by Rapsodee(m): 3:25pm On Nov 19, 2020
Like we know that Nigerian parents limit their children's movement most especially the female child. Giving them the opportunity to only mingle with others only if they gain admission into school, which will leave the parents with no choice than to release them or if they go for NYSC...

After these two, a large number of them return to their parents and wait for a man somewhere to propose marriage to them.

Outside school and NYSC, some females have no freedom any more, although some still go out from their parents house in search of a better life (partner included) but that's if their parents are easy enough to free them in the first place.

Could this be a reason for many unmarried ladies?

1 Like

Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by fati2001(m): 3:28pm On Nov 19, 2020
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Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by Nobody: 5:16pm On Nov 19, 2020
Yes it's partly the reason why most ladies are not married. Speaking from personal experience.

My parents (especially my father) were overprotective and it was due to the fact that we were all girls and the environment in which we grew up didn't help as it was very secluded area (Ikoyi) where it's just you and your family. Those days, we were sorrounded by the whites where everyone mind their biz and my dad was cool with it as it helped curb unnecessary movements and mingling with people. He took us to the beach and fun parks by himself. So no room for hanging out on our own and making friends. He was so overprotective to the point that we were not allowed to go spend holidays with our distant relatives.

Fast forward to when we became youth. we had gotten used to staying indoors. No partying out ( who born you?) No boyfriends, no social life. Only read books, go for fellowship, come back home and hang out with ourselves and back home. It continued until we realized things have gotten out of hand.

As I speak to you, ive been living on my own for the past twelve 12 years and still afraid to invite or entertain male visitors in my house. Or even hang out like I see my mates do. Thats a result of the overprotective parenting style used on us and is still affecting me till today. Reason I easily give up on relationships because I've been trained and made to get used to keeping to myself.


So, in conclusion, it does affect.

13 Likes

Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by dangotesmummy: 5:54pm On Nov 19, 2020
Hmnn

I agree with the poster above

The parents meant well but didn't know when to stop.thats where Naija parents get it wrong

Some will still be caging 35 year old woman and be restricting her movements lipsrsealed

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by Rapsodee(m): 5:59pm On Nov 19, 2020
CalliDora1:
Yes it's partly the reason why most ladies are not married. Speaking from personal experience.

My parents (especially my father) were overprotective and it was due to the fact that we were all girls and the environment in which we grew up didn't help as it was very secluded area (Ikoyi) where it's just you and your family. Those days, we were sorrounded by the whites where everyone mind their biz and my dad was cool with it as it helped curb unnecessary movements and mingling with people. He took us to the beach and fun parks by himself. So no room for hanging out on our own and making friends. He was so overprotective to the point that we were not allowed to go spend holidays with our distant relatives.

Fast forward to when we became youth. we had gotten used to staying indoors. No partying out ( who born you?) No boyfriends, no social life. Only read books, go for fellowship, come back home and hang out with ourselves and back home. It continued until we realized things have gotten out of hand.

As I speak to you, ive been living on my own for the past twelve 12 years and still afraid to invite or entertain male visitors in my house. Or even hang out like I see my mates do. Thats a result of the overprotective parenting style used on us and is still affecting me till today. Reason I easily give up on relationships because I've been trained and made to get used to keeping to myself.


So, in conclusion, it does affect.
Wow...I must first commend you for sharing your experience. I am aware of that too...it's really irritating to see some parents still over protecting matured ladies that ought to be taking decisions on their own. No problem with protecting them as girls but freedom should be given to them when they are matured.

4 Likes

Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by Rapsodee(m): 6:04pm On Nov 19, 2020
dangotesmummy:
Hmnn

I agree with the poster above

The parents meant well but didn't know when to stop.thats where Naija parents get it wrong

Some will still be caging 35 year old woman and be restricting her movements lipsrsealed
It's bad... As if she will stay in their house forever, at times I feel some parents will rather keep their daughters at home than give her out for marriage because they are always kept indoor even though ripe for marriage, when they suppose to be using style to push them out.
Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by Nobody: 6:07pm On Nov 19, 2020
Rapsodee:
Wow...I must first commend you for sharing your experience. I am aware of that too...it's really irritating to see some parents still over protecting matured ladies that ought to be taking decisions on their own. No problem with protecting them as girls but freedom should be given to them when they are matured.

Sure.
Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by tobechi74: 7:03pm On Nov 19, 2020
Things are hard economy is tough. This is the reason

4 Likes

Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by thejourney200: 7:07pm On Nov 19, 2020
There are many ways to meet a man in my opinion. School/work place, religious gathering, the few times spent in public places etc. If we think being protected makes one an introvert, that is possible but shouldn't stop one from making friends.

1 Like

Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by IamD18: 7:14pm On Nov 19, 2020
Parents are not the reason why ladies are unmarried and frustrated.

Unmarried ladies are the reason they are not married. They are responsible for their unmarried state.

From forming a gang on social media known as feminist to attack and blame men for their unmarried and frustrated state, they now want to blame their parents.

Tomorrow, they'll blame their brothers for not connecting them to their friends.

When will these people ever admit the fact that they are responsible for their marital status? cheesy

11 Likes

Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by dangotesmummy: 7:19pm On Nov 19, 2020
Rapsodee:
It's bad... As if she will stay in their house forever, at times I feel some parents will rather keep their daughters at home than give her out for marriage because they are always kept indoor even though ripe for marriage, when they suppose to be using style to push them out.
funny thing is that they'll be pressurizing them to marry yet they'll be restricting their movement like person when thief lipsrsealed

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by Rapsodee(m): 8:54pm On Nov 19, 2020
dangotesmummy:
funny thing is that they'll be pressurizing them to marry yet they'll be restricting their movement like person when thief lipsrsealed

grin grin They always expect guys to just show up at their house door straight up for marriage without really building any real connection with their daughter first.

So archaic. cheesy

6 Likes

Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by dangotesmummy: 8:56pm On Nov 19, 2020
grin
Rapsodee:
grin grin They always expect guys to just show up at their house door straight up for marriage without really building any real connection with their daughter first.

So archaic. cheesy
Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by Rapsodee(m): 8:58pm On Nov 19, 2020
IamD18:
Parents are not the reason why ladies are unmarried and frustrated.

Unmarried ladies are the reason they are not married. They are responsible for their unmarried state.

From forming a gang on social media known as feminist to attack and blame men for their unmarried and frustrated state, they now want to blame their parents.

Tomorrow, they'll blame their brothers for not connecting them to their friends.

When will these people ever admit the fact that they are responsible for their marital status? cheesy


A lot of factors like pride, laziness, selfishness etc can be responsible for their unmarried state but some girls are actually been restricted by their parents.

1 Like

Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by Rapsodee(m): 9:04pm On Nov 19, 2020
thejourney200:
There are many ways to meet a man in my opinion. School/work place, religious gathering, the few times spent in public places etc. If we think being protected makes one an introvert, that is possible but shouldn't stop one from making friends.
A very few percentage of girls, I mean very few, meet their husbands in school, church or work.

Girls are always more in number in any setting..what is the hope of those who went through those places with no man to show for it.

I don't blame parents for their unmarried state because many factors involved are caused by the girls.
Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by Munzy14(m): 9:19pm On Nov 19, 2020
Rapsodee:
grin grin They always expect guys to just show up at their house door straight up for marriage without really building any real connection with their daughter first.

So archaic. cheesy
Nollywood style, the guys will be acompanied by his kinsmen to come and pluck a ripe fruit..cheesy

Those scene can be so archaic...time flies...things av changed,.now a guy will meet, become friends and date a lady, propose, then they return home to seek parents consent.

The one fact I know is, a lady must make herself approachable...Whether caged by parents or not, a lady that really knows what she wants, will surely get it.

I av a family friend very religious, but when their daughter marriage set, guess who she married, one of the notorious guys in my area in the early 90s, though from a wealthy home.

E shock everybody, because this girl was raised with tight caging..So how come she connected with the guy...now the live in US its been years happily living.

Again, as a lady anywhere u are, someone is watching, either for himself, his bro or other recommendation...what matters is being yourself and being of good character.

My relative that hardly comes out, rarely seen in public, but a very calm cordinated lady, when marriage reach na two.men drag her, a medical doctor based in US And and engineer based in canada...Both came on recommmendation..And today she is happily married to the medical doctor..and both living in the states...with their baby boy...

Life is all about undestanding, no rush...

3 Likes

Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by crackhaus: 9:38pm On Nov 19, 2020
Rapsodee:
Like we know that Nigerian parents limit their children's movement most especially the female child. Giving them the opportunity to only mingle with others only if they gain admission into school, which will leave the parents with no choice than to release them or if they go for NYSC...

After these two, a large number of them return to their parents and wait for a man somewhere to propose marriage to them.

Outside school and NYSC, some females have no freedom any more, although some still go out from their parents house in search of a better life (partner included) but that's if their parents are easy enough to free them in the first place.

Could this be a reason for many unmarried ladies?
It's not a reason AT ALL.

No matter how restrictive parents have been with their female children, I doubt there's any mature girl who will claim she has no male friends/acquaintances who are interested in her.

The real problem is either the men she knows are not proposing marriage to her (meaning she should have herself checked) OR the men proposing marriage to her are not the ones she would love to marry (meaning she should still have herself checked).

6 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by pozehnani(f): 10:13am On Nov 20, 2020
crackhaus:

It's not a reason AT ALL.

No matter how restrictive parents have been with their female children, I doubt there's any mature girl who will claim she has no male friends/acquaintances who are interested in her.

The real problem is either the men she knows are not proposing marriage to her (meaning she should have herself checked) OR the men proposing marriage to her are not the ones she would love to marry (meaning she should still have herself checked).

Mtcheeewww..

1 Like

Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by pozehnani(f): 10:19am On Nov 20, 2020
Munzy14:

Nollywood style, the guys will be acompanied by his kinsmen to come and pluck a ripe fruit..cheesy

Those scene can be so archaic...time flies...things av changed,.now a guy will meet, become friends and date a lady, propose, then they return home to seek parents consent.

The one fact I know is, a lady must make herself approachable...Whether caged by parents or not, a lady that really knows what she wants, will surely get it.

I av a family friend very religious, but when their daughter marriage set, guess who she married, one of the notorious guys in my area in the early 90s, though from a wealthy home.

E shock everybody, because this girl was raised with tight caging..So how come she connected with the guy...now the live in US its been years happily living.

Again, as a lady anywhere u are, someone is watching, either for himself, his bro or other recommendation...what matters is being yourself and being of good character.

My relative that hardly comes out, rarely seen in public, but a very calm cordinated lady, when marriage reach na two.men drag her, a medical doctor based in US And and engineer based in canada...Both came on recommmendation..And today she is happily married to the medical doctor..and both living in the states...with their baby boy...

Life is all about undestanding, no rush...


These two people you used as case study are just the lucky few who narrowly escaped the effect of overprotectiveness. Majority out there are still bearing the brunt of this style of upbringing.

2 Likes

Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by NoToPile: 10:22am On Nov 20, 2020
No.

Besides peeps get married every Saturday , there are many single as well as many married ladies.
Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by PuZZyNegro: 10:50am On Nov 20, 2020
The truth is, this life is not balanced.

You advise ladies to marry on time when men are very much interested in them and the outcome is a marriage where the woman does not have an input because she cannot foot her bills. You know that money acts as a form of control.

When you advise that they should finish school, get a job and be successful in their careers before getting married to avoid being played by the husband, the outcome is a woman in her late 20s that the only thing that matters to her is to get married. Desperation sets in.

So, there's no one best way to doing these things.


In a different view, I noticed that men before now travel to the village to get a wife. Lately, no one wants to stay in the village. Once a girl finishes her secondary school or university, the next thing is to look for a relative that lives in the city to hang with.


This has increased the rate of single ladies that are not getting married.

Most eligible men for marriage are those guys that left school to go hustle for business. They are not in the university. They don't have time to approach you in the church.

They are most likely to look out for wives in the village during festive periods.

So, if you are a single lady ready for marriage and you are reading this, please, travel to your village and spend some time there.

Some men find it difficult looking for wives in the city due to obvious reasons. Either the beautiful girl is not from the state they can marry, or have a different religion, etc.

Someone may want to argue that village girls open eyes more than the city girls, but sincerely, most men especially the business guys till today still believe that marrying a woman from the village provides better marriage than a girl you met in the city.

2 Likes

Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by Uyi168: 11:03am On Nov 20, 2020
CalliDora1:
Yes it's partly the reason why most ladies are not married. Speaking from personal experience.

My parents (especially my father) were overprotective and it was due to the fact that we were all girls and the environment in which we grew up didn't help as it was very secluded area (Ikoyi) where it's just you and your family. Those days, we were sorrounded by the whites where everyone mind their biz and my dad was cool with it as it helped curb unnecessary movements and mingling with people. He took us to the beach and fun parks by himself. So no room for hanging out on our own and making friends. He was so overprotective to the point that we were not allowed to go spend holidays with our distant relatives.

Fast forward to when we became youth. we had gotten used to staying indoors. No partying out ( who born you?) No boyfriends, no social life. Only read books, go for fellowship, come back home and hang out with ourselves and back home. It continued until we realized things have gotten out of hand.

As I speak to you, ive been living on my own for the past twelve 12 years and still afraid to invite or entertain male visitors in my house. Or even hang out like I see my mates do. Thats a result of the overprotective parenting style used on us and is still affecting me till today. Reason I easily give up on relationships because I've been trained and made to get used to keeping to myself.


So, in conclusion, it does affect.
.
Are u still unmarried??
Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by Uyi168: 11:04am On Nov 20, 2020
IamD18:
Parents are not the reason why ladies are unmarried and frustrated.

Unmarried ladies are the reason they are not married. They are responsible for their unmarried state.

From forming a gang on social media known as feminist to attack and blame men for their unmarried and frustrated state, they now want to blame their parents.

Tomorrow, they'll blame their brothers for not connecting them to their friends.

When will these people ever admit the fact that they are responsible for their marital status? cheesy


..
U like wahala Sha.. grin

Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by Rapsodee(m): 12:27pm On Nov 20, 2020
crackhaus:

It's not a reason AT ALL.

No matter how restrictive parents have been with their female children, I doubt there's any mature girl who will claim she has no male friends/acquaintances who are interested in her.

The real problem is either the men she knows are not proposing marriage to her (meaning she should have herself checked) OR the men proposing marriage to her are not the ones she would love to marry (meaning she should still have herself checked).
You have some valid points sha...but do you believe some girls have never received proposals from any man before? undecided
Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by Rapsodee(m): 12:30pm On Nov 20, 2020
NoToPile:
No.

Besides peeps get married every Saturday , there are many single as well as many married ladies.
Those getting married every Saturday are the lucky ones or let me say the wise and wife materials.

Many ladies are ignorant about how to be a wife material to a guy. They are so clueless, they think it's all about them, their beauty and the sex they give guys.
Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by Rapsodee(m): 12:32pm On Nov 20, 2020
pozehnani:



These two people you used as case study are just the lucky few who narrowly escaped the effect of overprotectiveness. Majority out there are still bearing the brunt of this style of upbringing.
You're very right.

1 Like

Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by Nobody: 12:38pm On Nov 20, 2020
somehow,it really affected me, I still don't know how to be friends with the males except online,though I don't think it should hinder any lady from being unmarried
Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by Rapsodee(m): 12:43pm On Nov 20, 2020
PuZZyNegro:
The truth is, this life is not balanced.

You advise ladies to marry on time when men are very much interested in them and the outcome is a marriage where the woman does not have an input because she cannot foot her bills. You know that money acts as a form of control.

When you advise that they should finish school, get a job and be successful in their careers before getting married to avoid being played by the husband, the outcome is a woman in her late 20s that the only thing that matters to her is to get married. Desperation sets in.

So, there's no one best way to doing these things.


In a different view, I noticed that men before now travel to the village to get a wife. Lately, no one wants to stay in the village. Once a girl finishes her secondary school or university, the next thing is to look for a relative that lives in the city to hang with.


This has increased the rate of single ladies that are not getting married.

Most eligible men for marriage are those guys that left school to go hustle for business. They are not in the university. They don't have time to approach you in the church.

They are most likely to look out for wives in the village during festive periods.

So, if you are a single lady ready for marriage and you are reading this, please, travel to your village and spend some time there.

Some men find it difficult looking for wives in the city due to obvious reasons. Either the beautiful girl is not from the state they can marry, or have a different religion, etc.

Someone may want to argue that village girls open eyes more than the city girls, but sincerely, most men especially the business guys till today still believe that marrying a woman from the village provides better marriage than a girl you met in the city.
That's kinda true sha. During festive periods, successful men do go home to check their parents and may meet a long time female friend or even get introduced to another person through a friend.
Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by Rapsodee(m): 12:47pm On Nov 20, 2020
Zzor:
somehow,it really affected me, I still don't know how to be friends with the males except online,though I don't think it should hinder any lady from being unmarried
I understand you, that's why some girls will rather stay indoor and keep to themselves rather than go out on a date with a strange guy they are yet to know. I have met girls that are lazy like that.

But I won't want to believe it's totally the fault of parent's protection.
Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by Rapsodee(m): 12:53pm On Nov 20, 2020
tobechi74:
Things are hard economy is tough. This is the reason
People that are not too rich are getting married effortlessly too, so I won't wanna believe that.
Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by Nobody: 1:11pm On Nov 20, 2020
Zzor:
somehow,it really affected me, I still don't know how to be friends with the males except online,though I don't think it should hinder any lady from being unmarried
You are a man, stop pretending to be a female
Re: Female Child Protection: Is It A Reason For Many Unmarried Ladies? by legacystore: 1:12pm On Nov 20, 2020
In these days of social media it's not possible to cage anyone, meeting a man or woman is one click away.

It's impossible to cage someone that is on social media chatting daily with a smartphone.

It may be possible in yester years but not today

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